TOTALLY Not Like Other Girls

How you can tell I’m NOT like other girls

-different features, my eyes look different from some other girls eyes, and the color of them are sometimes different as well
-I come to the beds of human men to seduce them and therefore gain their energy
-some call me GRUNCH, evil demon troll of brunch, but I have no true face
-I am a woman of the fairy mounds, and my screams send chills down your spine because they foreshadow the death of one of your loved ones
-I cause fish to be boiled alive in rivers
-I poison crops
-I don’t get Starbucks, I make men answer riddles in the heat of the sun and then cut their heads off with a sycthe if they answer incorrectly
-I’m hoping that by saying I’m different, I’ll somehow be exempt from the harmful stereotypes thrown onto young girls every day
-instead of carrying a purse, I am the foreteller of death
-Ugg boots? How about if you hear my voice from inside house walls, I have condemned one of the inhabitants house to its death
-Some girls wear makeup, I require people to close all the windows of their house or else I steal their eternal souls
-I’m a guy’s girl, really, I don’t get along with a lot of other girls, which is why they call me the Grand Duke of Hell
-I appear to have the body of an angel and the head of a wood owl, and to be riding a black wolf and in my hand a pointed saber. I command thirty legions.
-I can’t stand drama, instead I roam the earth to punish people who have sworn a false oath.
-I don’t wear makeup because my name translates to Thunder Beast and I like to reside in the navels of sleeping humans.
-not like a normal girl, like a demon


gamenu replied to your post:Collapses on his lap.

“More like I go’ my ass handed ta me by an angel. Did ya know they can use sycthes?”

“–An angel?” you ask. No fucking way. The only angel you knew about was your mentor, and he wouldn’t do something so low as hurt your best friend. Did that mean there was another one lurking around the city? Fucking fantastic. “Why did ye get into it wit’ one a t’ose feat’ery arse’oles, aye?”