swords-&-sandals

Song of Themyscira | One

Summary: As an Amazonian warrior, you’re invited to Man’s World by Diana Prince. Ares, angered by the situation, decides to send an army, led by his son, to disrupt the peace. Will James be able to follow through, or will the Amazonians keep the peace?

Pairing: James ‘Bucky’ Barnes x Amazon!Reader

Word Count: 972

Warnings: None (yet)

A/N: SURPRISE! As a welcome gift to my new wave of followers, I’ve decided to post the first chapter of SoT a week in advance :) I hope you all enjoy this (April beta’d and said it’s good so I’ll take her word for it) and please, let me know what you think!

Originally posted by rohgers

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Tonight on Svengoolie, it’s Medusa Against The Son of Hercules, aka Perseo l'invincibile (Perseus the Invincible) (1963), starring Richard Harrison.

Why the different titles?  The (Italian) movie was originally called Perseo l'invincibile/Perseus the Invincible.  But in the 1960s, Embassy Pictures repackaged 14 Italian peplum (”sword-and-sandal”) films for broadcast on American television, with  a standardized theme song for the opening & closing titles, and a standard introductory narration attempting to relate the lead character in each film to the Greek demigod Hercules… even though only two of the 14 films actually featured Hercules.  Four were Maciste films, two were Ursus films, and the other six were gladiator or other mythological hero movie – like tonight’s film with Perseus & Medusa – which had never been released in the U.S..

And remember, Svengoolie starts at his new time tonight, 8pm Eastern/Pacific, 7pm Central.

Streaming Brennus Enemy of Rome!

So, after a long, in-depth introspection process (which mainly involved me telling @solarcore about my favorite, terrible sword and sandal film, which opens with our *lovable, charismatic* lead shouting “KILL THE ROMANS ARRRRGGGHHH”), I’ve decided to stream this masterpiece. The stream will start at 8 EST, and I’ll post the link probably around 7:50-ish. Anyone who wants to come is welcome to; feel free to drop in at any time. 

Trigger warnings for some suggestions of dubcon, violence roughly to the scale of what you’d expect from a sword and sandal film from 1963. 

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Margaret Markov and Pamela Grier in “La rivolta delle gladiatrici” aka “The Arena” (1974)  Female gladiators in this sword and sandal exploitation movie.

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Speaking of swords and sandals movies, The Last Legion is so ridiculous and absurd I have to recommend it to everyone I know even though the trailer (which I hadn’t seen when I actually saw the movie) spoils the really WTF part of the movie.  And none of the classicists I know have seen it!  Probably because they watched the trailer and noped the fuck out.

DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT EVERY ROMAN EMPEROR WAS DIRECTLY DESCENDED FROM JULIUS CAESAR?

DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT EXCALIBUR WAS ACTUALLY JULIUS CAESAR’S MAGIC SWORD?

DID YOU EVER WANT TO SEE AISHWARYA RAI PLAY A BADASS BYZANTINE WARRIOR WOMAN?

DID YOU EVER WANT TO SEE A MACHINE GUN CROSSBOW?

DID YOU EVER WANT TO SEE COLIN FIRTH BE THE HEAD OF THE PRAETORIAN GUARD AND KILL A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH A SWORD?

DID YOU EVER WANT TO SEE THE NINTH LEGION MYSTERIOUSLY APPEAR AND SAVE THE LAST EMPEROR OF ROME?

DID YOU EVER EXPECT TO SEE THE NAMES “MERLIN” AND “ROMULUS AUGUSTULUS” IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

This movie has more historical inaccuracies than you can shake a stick at and yet it wholeheartedly embraced them; it is so ridiculous.  Everyone should watch it.  (Just don’t watch it with the expectation that literally anything in it is historically accurate because it’s not.)

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The thing I remember most about this movie is all the photographic trickery done to hide the fact the guy they hired to be Hercules (Sergio Ciani, aka the ludicrously supervirile named Alan Steele) was actually kinda short. Notice the fact that he swordfights in many places while on stairs, and there are scenes it looks like he’s standing on a bucket. 

I’m not sure if this is true, but when I saw this movie with a friend who is knowledgeable about horses, he said that the horse Herc used in this was a breed of pony that was unusual in that it looks just like a full sized horse.

LEMMY, XENA, AND ME

so, a few weeks ago, after word of my being hired to write/executive produce NBC’s reboot of Xena: Warrior Princess got out, i was contacted by a very nice reporter from a major pop culture magazine for a story about upcoming reboots/relaunches/revivals. 

i answered the questions, ran them by my collaborators to ensure they approved of the message, and off they went… and then i got word that because of the recent death of legendary motörhead frontman ian frazer “lemmy” kilmister, the magazine scrapped the story in favor of an extended tribute section (which, by the way, is absolutely righteous and legit - lemmy was an icon and a heavy metal warlord and should be celebrated).

the nice man who interviewed me has, very graciously, allowed me to put the full text of our q&a here. most of this i have already said in tweets and press from a few weeks back - but here is the entirety of what i can currently say about this project, and will most likely be able to say until there’s a completed script!

1. The word is that Lucy Lawless won’t be returning, but will anyone from the old show coming back (either in the same roles or in cameos)?

It’s way too early for that. Our first order of business is to create something that will be undeniable - to both the existing fans and, hopefully, a new audience. Down the line, in success, if there is a way of bringing back members of the classic cast with both a legitimate narrative intention, and respect to both the extant series and the new, who am I to say no?

2. Will this be a true reboot, starting over from the beginning, or just new stories set in more or less the same continuity as the old show?

This will be a true reboot  - but because it is produced by Rob Tapert and Sam Raimi, who stewarded the original - not one as radical as some of the fans fear. At some point someone used the word “modern” to describe the sensibility, and some of the fans misunderstood that as saying that we were putting Xena in the present-day: nothing could be further from the truth. To us this is an opportunity to make a truly female-driven, sword-and-sandal, period epic set in Bronze-age Greece - and to build on the success of the classic, original series to launch an event series we hope can return year after year… not unlike Doctor Who.  

3. What would you say is the enduring appeal of Xena? Why does the character still captivate?

I would be downright goatish to not acknowledge that Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor are pivotal to the enduring appeal of the characters. As a fan of the original series, my love and respect for their work knows no bounds… but I would also love it if the net result of this production is to make them to Xena what Sean Connery is to James Bond, or William Shatner is to James T. Kirk - or, more aptly, Lynda Carter is to Diana Prince. Most importantly, I believe that the physical and emotional iconography of the characters, the armor, the Chakram, the fights and battles, and most importantly, the enduring bond of friendship and love between Xena and Gabrielle as polar opposites - warrior and bard - have endured because they communicate a message of hope and possibility to a large and diverse audience. Xena: Warrior Princess is a heroic tale about the search for redemption: this is archetypal material.

4. Do you have any sort of start date/timetable yet?

The network has commissioned a pilot script based on a season-long arc. We are only now beginning to put that pilot script together and the network will decide our future based on that - so we are a bit of a ways away from an air date!

Glorious Technicolor: From George Eastman House and Beyond, a 100th-anniversary celebration of Technicolor, opens June 5! The series focuses on American films made between 1922 and 1955, with a delirious range of musicals, melodramas, swashbuckling and seafaring adventures, sword-and-sandal Biblical epics, Orientalist fantasies, Westerns, literary adaptations, homespun Americana, and even rare instances of film noir and 3-D. From The Wizard of Oz to Fantasia, it’s going to be a colorful summer at MoMA. See a schedule & purchase tickets (on sale 1 week prior to screening date).