sword of charlemagne

Theories on Cortana...

A few weeks ago I referenced this quote in an earlier post about Edom: When they arrived in the mirrored city of a destroyed Alicante Alec tells them Edom’s story (COHF 482-483): “They didn’t have seraph blades; they hadn’t developed them. It doesn’t look like they had Iron Sisters or Silent Brothers, either. They had blacksmiths, and they developed some sort of weapon, something they thought might help them.”


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anonymous asked:

omg, i was reading your about and holy shit im so glad to find another person who thinks heavy metal is really stimmy! its just... SO GOOD. i cant even articulate the feeling heavy metal evokes in me, i love it. do you have any song/band recs? (this isnt meant as a request btw, sorry if it counts as one! im just thrilled to find another heavy metal fan in the stim community)

Sorry this took so long but I had to go to YouTube without getting distracted by any of my current hyperfixations to do it.

So. Heavy metal recs.

First is the pair of albums that got me into heavy metal: Charlemagne: By The Sword and the Cross and Charlemagne: The Omens of Death by Christopher Lee. 

Yes, the same Christopher Lee who played Saruman and Count Dooku and most villains tbh made two heavy metal concept albums about the life of Charlemagne. Because of course he did. The first is more symphonic and the second is more pure metal, but otherwise they’re basically the same. (Warning: Charlemagne was very much a conquer everyone in the name of Jesus sort of fellow and the albums do reflect that.) 

Now, on to the rest of the list, in no particular order. (Worth mentioning a lot of these will be what I call metal+ which is basically metal+any other genre bc everything is improved by metal)

Turisas-Finnish Folk Metal

 Babymetal-Japanese J-pop Metal 

Orphaned Land-Israeli Middle Eastern Folk Metal

Schandmaul-German Medieval Metal

Kamelot-American Power Metal

Rammstein-German Industrial Metal

Xandria-German Symphonic Metal

Blind Guardian-German Power Metal/Heavy Mithral (Tolkien themed metal. It’s a thing.)

Nightwish-Finnish Symphonic Metal

Delain-Dutch Symphonic Metal

This isn’t complete, I’m sure, but it’s what I can find easily. So yeah. There you go.

I haven’t really had much time to draw anything other than parodies of hark a vagrant comics but i figured i’d at least try to get something up

still kinda sad about the skelemom situation thing that happened so ive been trying to cheer myself up i guess? by… shitposting… yea…

moodykittens  asked:

Is there any super bad-ass Catholic weapon around out there?

You mean besides the Spear of Longinus, which could cause empires to rise and fall?

There’s Ascalon, the lance (or in some versions, sword) that Saint George used to kill that dragon you might have heard about.

There was Joyeuse, the sword of Holy Roman Emperor Charlemagne, which was said to contain bits of the Spear of Longinus in its pommel. 

Charlemagne’s paladin Roland had a sword called Durendal, which had in its hilt one of St Peter’s teeth, St Basil’s blood, a hair of St Denis, and a scrap of cloth that belonged to the Virgin Mary. It was said to be the sharpest sword that ever existed. (As long as I’m naming swords from the Song of Roland, Ogier the Dane’s magic sword was called the Courtain, and Almace was the sword of Turpin, Archbishop of Rheims.)

Saint Ferdinand III of Castile had a legendary sword called Lobera (“the wolf slayer”).

There’s the sword of Saint Peter, which he used to cut off the ear of a guard who came to arrest Jesus before the crucifixion, but it’s legend is not particularly badass, except in some legends it was given to Saint George, which is pretty cool except obviously he killed the dragon with that spear I was talking about a few paragraphs ago.

There’s the Sword of Mercy, which belonged to Edward the Confessor. It’s a sword with its tip broken off; it’s said an angel broke the tip off to prevent a wrongful killing. The sword remains today as part of the British Crown Jewels as a symbol of regal mercy.

More Judeo- than Christian, but the Seal of Solomon was a magical ring that King Solomon used to summon, control, and imprison demons.

There’s a few, anyway. I know they’re mostly swords, but I’m not aware of any Blessed C-4 out there (please do not say Holy Hand Grenade, nerds out there). Some of these might be of dubious Catholicity, but they all at least have something to do with a saint or a relic, so there you have it.

if you believe enough legends (and also in yourself), british monarchs are crowned using a magic sword that belonged to a knight of the round table and was forged by a finnish smith who made that sword and two others for charlemagne. charlemagne decided the brit’s current magic sword was second best and so he chose one of the other two, and that magic sword was used to crown french monarchs until the revolution. britain: second best to france in every possible way, but still ahead of the US in the “government possesses magic swords” race

The Holy Lance (Lance of Longinus)

Also known as the “Spear of Destiny,” this was said to be the spear used to deliver the last of Jesus Christ’s five wounds while on the cross at Golgotha. The lance supposedly belonged to a blind Roman soldier named Longinus who, upon piercing the body of Jesus was spattered with his blood, miraculously restoring his sight.

Several different versions of the Holy Lance popped up throughout European history. Some European chroniclers believed that Emperor Constantine, (who was viewed as the ultimate Christian ruler) used the lance to claim the Roman Empire for Christendom. Others believed that it eventually came to Charlemagne, and that from the tip of the spear hung a small metal cross that had been forged from one of the nails of Jesus’ crucifixion. 

The lance (or at least, I mean, a lance) came into the possession of Otto I, one of the early emperors of the Holy Roman Empire, and he may have paid dearly for it–some record that he bought it from a count in exchange for the duchy of Swabia, and Otto considered this a deal.

This lance, regardless of its origins or authenticity, was carried in train with great ceremony before the armies of Otto and his successors, inspiring awe in his subjects and fear in the hearts of his enemies. I mean, even if the lance couldn't actually cut down a mountain or shoot out a super-cool light beam, it could still be a catalyst for inspiration and unification. Relics like these were a big deal, and a relic in such a naturally belligerent form was a great way to reconcile non-stop war with what was meant to be a religion of peace. Even in the 10th century, priests in Western Europe pleaded with kings and Dukes to resist the call of battle, but to little avail. 

Many of the European Christians hadn’t really been Christian for very long. The Saxons, who led the Germanic tribes in Otto’s time, had been converted from paganism with fire and sword by Big Chuck (Charlemagne). Even though they got much of the same gospel from their new tutors, war had always been their favourite pastime, and they lived in a scary, aggressive, war-filled world. In the end, their form of Christianity (which the rest of Europe would mostly inherit) involved plenty of good old-fashioned warfare in the name of God. The Holy Lance is a perfect representation of their creed, when you think about it.

You can take the Saxon away from Odin, but you can’t take the Odin out of the Saxon.