switchfoot learning to breathe

Welcome to the planet

Welcome to existence

Everyone’s here

Everyone’s here

Everybody’s watching you now

Everybody waits for you now

What happens next?


What happens next?

Between church services and recesses jumping rope. Between being bullied and bullying myself. Between the moment I came into existence and the moment I will cease to exist, my life has been imperfect. Welcome to life. Welcome to the struggles and the pain. Welcome to grade school classmates singing the oompa loompa song to you in PE, to soccer coaches telling you to lose weight, to the pressure to be a good Christian girl, and to self-made expectations demanding you live up to your unrealistic, high standards.

Welcome to the fallout

Welcome to resistance

The tension is here

The tension is here

Between who you are


And who you could be

Between how it is


And how it should be yeah

I had always been the girl with perfectionistic expectations, shoving everything under the rug and convincing myself I was OK for years on end. With my dire need to “get out,” I was finally forced to face the reality of leaving home. The reality of dreams not coming true. The reality of looking in the mirror, looking inside myself, and facing the fallout. I began self-harming the summer after I graduated and was forced to come home from the university I was attending. I had to take a serious look at my anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Growing up, I used exercise and dieting as a means to control my emotions. After high school, I used anything I could get my hands on to control what I did not want to feel, to run away from what I did not want to deal with.

I dare you to move


I dare you to move


I dare you to lift


Yourself up off by the floor

I learned the hard way that recovery never has a day off; I was told, “You’re going to have to back yourself up far enough into that corner that you are going to have to want to get yourself out of it.” That is exactly what happened. I had to hit my own rock bottom. I had to be done with my unhealthy choices. And even while surrounded by an amazingly patient community, I had to start fighting for my story.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell


Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

Where you gonna go?

Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here

Someday I will have these lyrics tattooed on me. Inked permanently into my skin. Not to cover up the scars, but to live for better days, to be reminded why I matter. These words came into my life at just the right time: God’s timing. I was moved to tears, but, more importantly, I was moved to make a difference. Moved to be my genuine self, moved to be honest with myself; I was inspired to be the woman God wants me to be. I promised myself that if I were to get through my darkest hours that I would live a life rooted in passion, grounded in God’s purpose, and driven by a love for people.

I dare you to move


I dare you to move


Like today never happened

Today never happened


Today never happened


Today never happened before

This amazing life is a gift. We are blessed with every moment that comes and goes, with every breath that we receive and then let go. I am here by the grace of a loving God, the power of community, and the forgiveness and love I now I have for myself. Every day, sometimes every hour, I remind myself of these things. Depression, anxiety, and the urge to use unhealthy coping mechanisms will always remain a part of me, but it does not define who I am. I hold high standards for myself, but now I aim to make them realistic on a daily basis. “God is still in the business of redemption.” Each new day is an invitation to rewrite my story using my past, present, and future. It is all worthy, and I am WORTH IT.

- Daylee, TWLOHA Spring ’15 Intern

This MIght End Up A Story Mixtape No. 6: I Have Loved You Wrong

tracklist (not in order):

xo - john mayer

i have loved you wrong - the swell season

snap out of it - arctic monkeys

learning to breathe - switchfoot

in my veins - andrew belle

photograph - ed sheeran

please speak well of me - the weepies

this is the beginning - boy

i never told you - colbie caillat

brand new day - forty foot echo

lightyears - eraserheads

maps - arcade fire

the great unknown - jukebox the ghost

i’m still here - vertical horizon

you foudn me - the fray

last christmas - jimmy eat world

Lister here > http://8tracks.com/lengsungit/6-i-have-loved-you-wrong

To download: Just copy paste the link abover here >> omgcatz.com ;)

Favorite Record (road trip au) - chapter 14

Summary: They have an old beat up Thunderbird convertible, twelve thousand dollars between them, and no destination in mind. This could very much be the worst decision both of them have ever made.

Words: 7k

[AO3]

[FFN]

If you want to listen to the mash-up in this, here’s the link

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