swing fail

2

Trump is threatening them if they vote against the bill, if you’re their constituent (or know someone who lives in their states), call them and make sure these reps know they answer to the American people and not to Trump.

Vote will take place on Thursday, March 23 - tell them to vote no on AHCA aka Trumpcare.

2

giorno “glamour” giovanna 

anonymous asked:

How about "the piñata incident"?

(Someone finally asked!! *Rubs hands together* Alrighty, cutie pies. Strap yourselves in!)

They’d never had a birthday party before. Somehow in the crazy mess of taking over the channel and just trying not to fade, birthday parties just got lost in the fray. But that time is over, and Wilford demands that the others throw him a “surprise” party. It goes a little something like this:

“SURPRISE!” He wasn’t really surprised of course. He’d left Bim a very detailed list over everything he wanted it, just as he wanted it. But Wilford Warfstache is nothing if not a good actor, and his feigned surprise is more amusing than convincing.

“Guys! You didn’t have to do all this!” He looks around at them with a wide smile on his face, and Bim bites back the urge to say that, yes, they did have to do this or Wilford would likely start shooting everything. But all that aside, the party went off without a hitch. The Host provided the cake, the Googles made a montage of all the times Wilford did something even mildly funny on his TV show, and they even managed to get Dark into a party hat.

Everything was perfect.

Until the piñata.

Now, since the Egos are technically only a few years old, they’d never encountered one of these “ piñatas” before, so they didn’t think anything of it. Doc read online that you stuff them with candy and then break them open. Sounded like something Wilford would enjoy, right? Very right. Too right. Oh goodness gracious they had absolutely no idea what they were in for.

Host provides one of his blindfolds and backs away from the Bubblegum Birthday Boy before he starts swinging. The piñata goes down in a single swing, one fail swoop of the bat, and the little cardboard animal is decimated. Then Wilford goes after whoever is closest.

Google hides under the refreshments table, and Silver somehow manages to get under the couch cushions. Bim Trimmer leaps onto Wilford’s back and tries to stop him, but gets thrown off quickly. It isn’t until Wilford goes after Dark that anyone realizes that this could be the end, right here and right now.

Until Dark catches the bat in mid-swing, wrenches it from Wilford’s hand and delivers a swift blow to the Ego’s gut. Wilford drops, and they are all sure Dark is about to finish the job when he walks over to the piñata, grabs up a handful of candy, hands the bat to Host, and walks out with nothing more than a, “Happy birthday.”

Wilford giggles from the floor, blindfold askew on his face. “That was fun… Can we do it again?”

was never much one for playing the odds

A little birdie might have suggested that it was recently @moonfox22’s birthday and also that she needs hugs and love and good things.

I wrote this instead of working on my Camp project because Priorities™.

Blind date; insufficient underwear; luck of the sannin. Kakasaku. Smut. What is consistent tone.


Sakura tugs at the hem of her dress and scowls.

It’s not the length of the skirt that’s bothering her; Sakura is proud of her legs, thanks.

It’s that Ino broke into her apartment two days ago and stole almost all of her underwear. Apparently, cotton boy shorts with smiling fruit on them “aren’t appropriate for a woman over the age of seventeen, seriously, what the hell Forehead, your pink hair is bad enough.”

Which, okay, rude. There’s nothing inherently juvenile or girlish about pink hair, Ino. Sakura gets her hair colour from her grandfather. It’s gender neutral.

And Sakura is more than willing to fight anyone who disagrees.

She’ll even do it without chakra.

Anyways, Sakura’s underwear.

Keep reading

eustassya  asked:

what are these "Dad Hands" you speak of

The best way I can describe is the ‘Bat and Gather.’ Your child/a child is panicking, their hands are flailing and batting around. If you Dad Hand someone you 

1) Bat back. Corral those hands lest they go truly haywire and either hit you or the child in their panic. This gets them to expel some of that nervous energy while you try to get their hands together. Once they are together

2) Gather. In one hand, or if your my dad with his adorably small hands, both, get the child’s fingers or palm and press together. Some then press the hands towards the child or pull away. 

Then you start speaking to them and calming them down without further risk of a backhand to the jaw. This is essentially what Tony does to Peter.

This is also useful if you have two kids fighting and one gets knocked on their back.

Avatar Headcanons #1

 Aang Era Headcanons

  • Zuko was very involved in the rebuilding of the Southern Water Tribe.
  • Zuko apologized to Gran Gran about what he did during the first two ATLA episodes…destroying the village, and dragging her out of the crowd etc…he was kind of embarrassed but pleasantly surprised when Gran Gran accepted his apology. 
  • After the war, Zuko taught the Fire Nation how not to rely on hate and anger for their firebending drive, and basically created a golden age for the Fire Nation founded on peace. 
    • This is also why lightningbending is so prevalent in LOK (will also post about that later).
  • Zuko learned to lightningbend.
  • As he aged, Zuko incorporated more waterbending forms into his bending style. Iroh was impressed. 
  • Zuko, and Aang had at least one flying bison v dragon race. 
  • When Izumi was around 10, she asked her father if she could visit Ozai in prison. Zuko refused–and Izumi visited Ozai anyway.
    •  Zuko was furious, but Mai and Iroh insisted that it wasn’t too bad of an idea for Izumi to visit her grandfather. 
      • Izumi’s line about “nonsense wars” was a direct result of Izumi’s interactions with Ozai. 
  • Both izumi, Iroh II, asked abou Zuko’s scar when they were young. When it was Iroh II’s turn…they were at a gathering and Izumi was incredibly embarrassed about the whole thing, but Zuko laughed it off and told his grandson–and anyone who cared to listen–the story of his scar. 

Pre-LOK Headcanons 

  • Assuming Iroh II was born shortly after Iroh I’s death, and assuming that Izumi is anywhere from 50-60, Iroh could have died when Izumi was between the age of 10 and 20. So profound was his effect on her that she named her son after him.
  • Katara and Tenzin showed Korra’s family the Southern Air Temple when Korra was a young girl. Taking a stroll with Tenzin, she overheares Korra say Aang’s name. Looking in her direction, she sees Senna kneel down to ask her how she knew Aang’s name. Katara smiles. 
  • Korra penguin sledding while Katara watches. 

Korra Era Headcanons

  • After Jinorra’s ceremony, Zuko approached Jinorra and mentioned how much she resembles Aang, and commented that her grandfather would be proud. 
  • By now, the Fire Nation throne room looks a lot like it did before Sozin began the war, but with two dragons (Ran, and Shaw) behind the throne instead of just one. 
  • Iroh II will name his son Zuko after his grandfather, finally enabling Iroh and Zuko’s relationship to go full circle with Zuko going from being Iroh’s surrogate son to his biological son.
  • On the next coming of Sozin’s Comet, there will be huge ceremony in the Fire Nation celebrating the 100th anniversary of the end of the 199 Years War.
    • There will be a Ozai v Aang reenactment…Meelo will naturally volunteer to be Ozai despite being unable to firebend.
  • Bumi and Iroh II are total bros the same way Sokka and Zuko were. 
    • Iroh sometimes gets sick of Bumi’s shit though.
  • Korra visited Kuvira in prison on multiple occasions.
  • I doubt anyone besides Kataang’s kids know that Zhao’s in the Fog of Lost Souls…but, it would be interesting if Zuko found out. The Ocean Spirit killed Zhao because he’s the one that killed the Moon–but imagine Zuko thinking about how different things could have been. 
    • Imagine, instead of seeing Zhao in the Fog…we saw Book 1 Zuko. Imagine all the pain, and anguish that would haunt him in the Fog. On top of that, imagine Book 1 Zuko in the Fog while knowing how the prime timeline plays out. 
      • “I must capture the Avatar to restore my honor…father, I am your loyal son…” 
        • Heartbreaking, really, when you know how things actually end. 
  • Korra visited Katara after the LOK finale and thanked her for everything. 

Red Lotus Headcanons 

  • During his travels, Aang met a young man with a strong interest in Air Nomad traditions. Impressed, Aang fed the man’s thirst for knowledge and shared with him various Air Nomad teachings, even encouraging him to join the White Lotus. Eventuallyu, Zhaeer learned about Guru Laghima, and had regular debates with Aang about world philosophies. 
    • Even though the two disagreed with each other, they both enjoyed their philosophical debates. After Aang’s death, Zaheer met Xai Bau…and you all know how the story goes from there. 
  • Sokka rescued Korra, but died when he failed to swing his boomerang at P’Li in time. 
    • Boomerang did not come back that day. 

Zuko-Iroh Reunion Headcanons 

  • Zuko takes his grandchildren to meet with Iroh (I keep thinking he’d go alone for the first time, but he can’t just go without Iroh. And Honora Jr. would probably come too since we know she exists).
  • The Iroh-Zuko reunion is more heartwarming than the Zuko-Iroh reunion in ATLA. 
  • Iroh, knowing Zuko, will constantly expect Zuko to ask him to return to the mortal world with him, but is surprised when Zuko doesn’t ask him anything of the sort. If he does implore why Zuko didn’t ask that, Zuko will tell Iroh that he realizes what the consequences and implications of Iroh’s choice were, making Iroh smile before giving his nephew one last hug. 
  • Zuko tells his grandkids Uncle’s favorite tea joke on their way to see him, and neither of them find it funny for whatever reason–Iroh II especially. 
  • Iroh makes Zuko ginseng tea, Zuko’s favorite.

Sex Related Headcanons 

  • I really dislike Zutara, and think it’s illogical, but I’m on board with the idea of old, widowed Zuko and Katara hooking up if only because I want Maikos kids and Kataangs kids to constantly walk in on them for no reason but to create awkward moments. Also, I’ve pretty much headcanoned older kinky Katara thanks to some comic strips (said comics are actually about Korra), and besides the pairing here would at least make sense and it’s kind of cute. Alas, it would probably never happen–but, meh. 

Tenzin: Walks in on Zuko, and Katara WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?

Katara: Uhh…Zuko was showing me his honor/dragon? 

Izumi: Hey where’d our parents go? All I see are two leath–OH FOR RAAVA’S SAKE!

  • I always joke about how reports of erectile dysfunction disorder decrease dramatically among the Water Tribe population during the full moon, but let’s head canon it!
  • Kyoshi gives excellent sex advice…or, rather, did until Korra’s connection with her past lives was disconnected.
The Price of Apples in Atlanta

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Reylo

Prompt: meeting in prison au

Notes: I’ve once again exercised my utter inability to write drabbles. ;) Thank you @lunaplath​ for requesting this one! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write it for you, but this story grew, changed, and took me for a ride in the best possible way.

A disclaimer: I am not particularly educated on conditions in jail. This is in no way meant to be an accurate portrayal of life in jail, although I do hope that I correctly conveyed the nastiness of criminalizing poverty in the U.S. Rey’s year-long sentence for shoplifting is based on a real case, in which a homeless man named Tom Barrett was sentenced similarly for shoplifting a beer from a convenience store. Here’s a link to an NPR article about it, which I encourage y’all to check out if you’re interested in learning more.



.

.

It isn’t technically a crime to be poor in the Great State of Georgia. Except, Rey has been homeless ever since she ran away from her last foster family, and it turns out that six shoplifting charges in four months are enough to piss off the local cops. She goes to jail for stealing two apples, valued at $1.09, plus tax. Rey might be entitled to a public defender, but it still costs fifty dollars to fill out the necessary applications, and she doesn’t have it. So she represents herself and pleads no contest.

Judge Dickinson sentences her to a year of probation. If she had the money to pay for an ankle monitor, Rey could’ve spent those twelve months on the street, free, if tagged and tracked. But she didn’t have chump change for apples, or fifty bucks for a lawyer, and she doesn’t have the money to pay for an ankle bracelet either. So here she is, stranded at Dekalb County Jail. Her home for the next twelve months.

Rey has learned two things from this: red apples aren’t worth doing time, no matter how hungry you are; and, in practice, it’s a crime to be poor in the Great State of Georgia.

.

.

Ben has to complete two hundred service hours every year to keep his fellowship. It’s a responsibility he’s used to by now, but the second semester of junior year is kicking his ass. He’s procrastinated himself into a corner, still seventy-one hours short of his requirements with only six weeks left until final exams. He’s sick of volunteering at warming shelters and slinging soup to homeless folks at the Mission. It’s important work, as his mother would say, and Ben agrees, but he’s also exhausted, busy, and worst of all, bored–a combination that sends his mood swinging wildly without fail.

Ben calls his mom, because if there’s any problem she can’t fix, he’s yet to see it.

“I’m behind on my service hours, and if I have to build one more sustainable house I’m gonna lose my shit,” he says. “Please tell me there’s something interesting you can get me plugged into.”

She sighs. “If you’d focused on your hours at the beginning of the semester, you wouldn’t be in this boat right now. What have I told you about using your time wisely?”

Ben grabs his stress ball, considers throwing it, and squeezes it instead. “I know that, Mama, but I called for advice, not a slap on the wrist. Can you help me or not?”

He can feel his mother’s sharp disapproval through the crackling silence. She says, “I can, but I won’t if you keep talking to me like that.”

He throws the stress ball. It knocks Armitage’s ugly, industrial lamp off of his bedside table. The thing must not be as durable as it looks, because its neck snaps from the base.

Ben holds the phone away from his face so he can cuss without his mother hearing. “Goddamn motherfucking piece of shit–”

“Ben? What was that crash?”

He bites his knuckles until the sting of breaking skin grounds him, then pulls the phone closer to say, “Sorry. I knocked over my roommate’s lamp. Not on purpose.”

His mother hums, sounding half sympathetic, half disbelieving. “Tell me the truth: are you taking your meds?”

Here we go again, Ben thinks, but all he says is, “Yes.”

All of them?”

“Yes, all of them,” Ben lies.

“I understand how hard this is, but it’s important that you–”

“That Seroquel knocks me out for twelve hours every night, and I can’t get up the next day,” he says. “I missed three of my morning classes last month because I slept through my alarms. How the fuck am I supposed to ace English 301 and squeeze in seventy service hours if I can’t stay awake?”

“Well it sounds like you need to schedule an appointment with your psychiatrist.”

“I will,” Ben says. “Swear to God. As soon as this semester is over.”

His mother’s voice takes a turn from concerned to suspicious when she asks, “Are you saying that because you’re too busy, or because you’re hoping to sail through your exams on a manic phase again?”

She’s not wrong, but this isn’t an argument that he’s willing to have right now. “I don’t have time for the third degree. Email me some service prospects, or don’t. I’ve gotta go.”

“Don’t be like that,” his mother says. “I have a contact at the Dekalb County Jail who’s been looking for volunteer tutors. I’ll pass your name along to him.”

The anger goes out of him as suddenly as it came. He says, “Thanks, Mama. I’m–I’ll do better.”

“I know,” she says gently. “I know you will, sweetheart.”

Keep reading

Y’all, I don’t think I’ll ever get this close to feeling like I’ve been training with amazons again

anonymous asked:

Ahh, good luck with your blog! To my ask, how would both Kanekis, Ayato and Uta act around their s/o if they're on their period?

Aww thanks!

Kuro!Kaneki: He would be considerate about your overwhelming emotions and etc but not too considerate, so as to not make you feel as though you’re some sort of burden to him, which you’re definitely not. He’ll also be extra sweet and buy whatever food you craved.

Shiro!Kaneki: He wouldn’t really change much except for maybe softening his words and being more gentle. He’d also be more careful about what he says around you, making sure not to say anything you wouldn’t like, like cusses and stuff.

Ayato: Poor, poor Ayato wouldn’t have any clue on how to handle your mood swings. After many failed efforts of trying to make you feel better, he’d just settle for ‘agree to everything and buy all the foods’.

Uta: He’d be the most mature out of all the guys mentioned here and just treat you normally, like how you wanted to be treated in the first place. But that doesn’t stop him from providing extra cuddles whenever your cramps got worse.