swimming circles

Bring Him Back: Cassandra/Cadash (future relationship), mostly light angst

The makeshift tents of the Haven refugees are scattered over the snowy slope like a handful of tiny greyish triangular seeds resting on the palm of a giant, with black ridges rising beyond the circle of campfire like long, sharp fingernails; if you stare at them too long, your head beginning to swim with the endless circling of the icy wind gusts, you may begin to imagine the creak of the enormous joints and the slow but certain approach of the clawed fingertips as the giants closes its fists and crushes the caravan, one and all.


Cassandra huffs in distaste, giving the embers a violent poke with a charred stick. What manner of nonsense is stewing inside her foolish skull?! There is no giant, no fiat - just cliffs and snowdrifts as far as the eye can see! This is probably lack of sleep showing: she has been up on her feet too long, inspecting the camp and keeping watch and getting the groaning, tired soldiers in line - so now, whenever the biting cold proves too much for her and she instinctively gravitates closer to a source of warmth, the drowsy pull of the gently crackling fire makes her lose focus. Her eyelids grow heavy and sticky, and her imagination runs wild and unrestrained, allowing the spirits of the Fade to beguile it with all manner of bizarre images. Which  - which she should put an end to, right now! She still has things to do before going to sleep! Ideally, she must not go to sleep at all - at least, for a few… a few more hours…


‘Are you all right? Do you need help getting to your tent?’


Cullen’s voice rings out in the darkness over her shoulder like a snap of a whip. Jolting completely awake, Cassandra whizzes to her feet, swirls around and, pointing her stick into the very startled Commander’s face, bellows a hoarse 'NO!’, which thunders so loudly that she staggers back a few paces, looking in up in fear that she may have just set off a tiny avalanche. 


In doing so, she almost steps right into the middle of the fire she has been stoking - but Cullen grips her firmly over the elbow before the sole of her boot can meet the spitting embers.


'Get some rest,’ he says sternly. 'I can take over your duties. I don’t… I am not too fond of sleeping anyway’.


'I am not fond of sleeping either,’ Cassandra grouses, jerking free and spreading her shoulders. 'If it interferes with what I need to do’.


Cullen frowns, both their tired, slightly hazy gazes locking for a moment in silence; then, he blinks slowly and asks,


'You are going to climb those rocks again, aren’t you?’


'Yes,’ Cassandra snaps, a little defensively - seeing that Cullen has begun to draw a sigh and lower his head while she is still speaking. 'It will give me a good view of our camp, and I will promptly see if Cadash approaches!’


Cullen’s reply is not unexpected - because what he says to her echoes the voice of the undying dark presence that has been scraping at the inside of Cassandra’s chest, never easing its grip, no matter if she is alert or drifting off to sleep.


'I am sorry… I do not think he is coming back’.


He has more to say after than, something about the avalanche being to destructive, about it being impossible to face a dragon, and whatever that twisted creature was that commanded it, in single combat and live, about… about… Cassandra does not care to listen. Purposefully. She tosses her head from one shoulder to the other, to banish Cullen’s voice from her head like her own feverish half-dreams, and, shaking off the last shreds of the fire’s tantalizing warmth, and marches away, out of the safety of the golden circle and into the raw centre of the howling snowstorm, to crawl up the stone giant’s fingers.


On her way to the clifftops, as the air laps around her in an inky-black stream, Cassandra suddenly remembers that climb they made to the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes: herself, Solas, Varric, and Cadash. The weather was hardly any better than it is now, and even though Solas used barrier spells and fiery wisps to keep the bitter winds at bay, sometimes the gusts of the mountains’ icy breath and the ever-shifting, wave-like snowdrifts still proved too much, especially for the two dwarves, who would frequently get their short legs stuck in the clutches of what Varric called 'blasted white outdoor goo’, and fall over awkwardly. 


Cadash would try to turn it all into a joke, moving his limbs like horizontal pendulums each time he would get plastered into the snow, so that the imprint of his body would turn into a bizarre, winged silhouette in a long, bell-shaped robe. Sometimes, he would also burrow a little bit deeper, and then rise back up, with his swarthy tattooed face distorted in an over-the-top grimace and lumps of snow sticking out of his beard, stretch out his white-powdered arms in front of him, wriggle his purposely crooked fingers, and growl throatily,


'I am a darkspawn! I have come to get Varric for not being a proper Orzammar dwarf!’


And Varric would chuckle as he pulled his kinsman back to his feet, and even Solas would eventually make a snort-like noise at the 'shifty smuggler’ dwarf’s antics; whereas Cassandra would scoff and turn away, inhaling deeply and making a very concentrated effort to contain that tickling feeling that would touch her lips whenever Cadash’s jokes got particularly ridiculous.


She has been doing the same ever since, with increasing frequency - for Cadash did not stop at wallowing in the snow. He has been trying to make a joke out of everything: from the self-importance of Chantry clerks like Roderick (whom he would prank times beyond count, especially when that girl Sera joined the team - and yet seemed sincerely worried about when he got wounded by a Red Templar during this destructive raid on Haven) to the pompous mannerisms of the Orlesian dignitaries (in Cassandra’s honest opinion, his impersonations of the Inquisition’s guests of honour made Josephine laugh far heartier than she should have). She herself has never condoned the dwarf’s behaviour - Maker, it was like being stuck with a second, slightly younger, and even more irreverent and irresponsible Varric. And yet…


And yet now, as she battles the snowstorm and pushes herself from one slippery, rime-crusted stony ledge to another; as she remembers Cadash’s carefree laughter, and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes, so bright and keen against the dark of his skin - she wonders to herself if perhaps she should have.


Should have scowled less at his childish trickery; because she has to admit, mocking those puffed-up Orlesians does get… kind of enjoyable at times. Especially since these supposed protectors of the faith had never lifted a sword in their whole lives (except maybe posing for an official court portrait), and the jokes were being peppered right into their powdered half-masked faces by a man who had just gotten back from a heated, bloody battle with actual rampaging demons, during which he… he had complemented Cassandra’s own fighting style most efficiently, darting about with his trusty daggers like a brownish blur, and helpfully cloaking her in dazzling purple smoke whenever she found herself overwhelmed and needed a moment to bolster her strength again.


Should have indulged his elaborately corny flirtations; because… because there was something refreshingly endearing about being told that 'You are one mighty force of nature, a hurricane shaped into a woman and poured into armour; I swear I can see those nebulous swirls and lightning flashes still alive in your eyes’… And besides, even though Cassandra would always remind herself that Cadash’s flirting was too much like the smooth speeches delivered by some dashing gentleman thief from her guilty pleasure novels, too ornate, too good to be true, at times… he did sound… almost like he… like he meant it… in all earnestness?


Should have stayed longer at Flissa’s in the evenings, instead of excusing herself with having extra training to do; should have made herself comfortable when invited, and listened to the yarns Cadash would spin about his impossible Carta heists, encouraged by Varric, eventually turning the tall tales of narrow escapes and breakneck chases into impromptu songs… Because, from what she heard streaming out of the tavern window on her way to the training grounds, he does have a remarkable singing voice, soft and velvety deep, making even the silliest lines like 'My partner left me in the lurch, but I still kicked the guardsmen in the crotch’ sound somehow… enchanting. 


Should have. Should have. Should have. Because - what if it is too late now? What if Cullen is right; what if the voice in her head is right? 


What if he is no more - Ralav Cadash, the self-introduced 'one-time wealth redistributor extraordinaire, now the saviour of all Thedas, at your service’, also called 'Winky’ by Varric and 'Bud-dddeeeeh’ by Sera? What if there will be no more radiant smiles, no more evening songs, no more silly card tricks?


What if the destructive white torrent, which Cadash himself set off, did crush and smother him, to the point where there would not be any more getting up, any more finger-wriggling, any more 'Hey, I am a darkspawn’? 


What if he was ripped apart by one of those monstrous creatures, deformed husks infected with red lyrium, and left to die, broken, bleeding, with pulsing red crystals coming out of the messy, mangled wounds all over his body? The way… the way she herself would have died, in that other timeline that Cadash visited: this is what he himself told her, as an explanation for the sudden wordless hug he gave her the moment he and the supposedly well-intentioned Tevinter stumbled back out of the evil Tevinter’s portal. He sounded so flustered when he stepped away from her, wiping off the blood that was still oozing from a cut in his cheek; so unlike his usual jovial self, so sincerely upset - and at the same time, afraid that she would get angry at him for his little outburst of emotion, just as she had seemed to get angry at him for his pranks. She should have explained to him that she was never actually angry; that she had actually come to value his friendship, his aid in battle, his concern for her well-being… Should have. Should have.


The wind dies by the time Cassandra reaches the top, and the mountainside spreads out before her in a bumpy silvery carpet, glittering faintly in the moonlight. Everything is perfectly still, and across this snowy expanse, there is not a single trace of a tiny dwarven figure, making its way towards the safety of the camp.


Cassandra’s breath catches in her throat, sticking to its back like something dry and hard, and then escapes forcefully, in three cloudy, milky puffs, while her stomach knots tightly and her chest and neck feel oddly hot, despite the nocturnal frost. She feels like praying, sinking to her knees amid the snow and pouring her very life force out in a desperate plea to the Maker - and at the same time, she is deeply ashamed of this impulse, perhaps for the first time in her life. Because what she wants to ask Him is petty and selfish and unworthy. What she is wishing for, with an ardent pulse of her blood that almost deafens her, is not for the Maker to return Cadash to the Inquisition so that he can continue fighting evil and purifying His creation with the power granted by Andraste - but for Cadash to be returned to her, so she can return that hug of his, and hold him long and tight and close, and not look on at him with a scowl for once, and ask him to please, please, smile again, and tell another joke, and sing another song. 


And that would be wrong, wouldn’t it?

Lord of Shadows playlist

tmi-city-of-bones15-blog said:Hey Cassie, I was wondering if you have a Playlist for each book that you write? Or if you have something to inspire you on those moments?

I do! You can find old ones on this tumblr, and here is the one for Lord of Shadows! (Sometimes people complain the songs aren’t new — I tend to mix up old and new songs, and remember, the book was written last year!)

Lord of Shadows

Six Blade Knife, Dire Straits

Your six blade knife can do anything for you
Anything you want it to
One blade for breaking my heart
One blade for tearing me apart
Your six blade knife can do anything for you

Fuck It And Whatever, The Echo-Friendly

We are sleeping in a rainstorm
With no lightning rod
So please remember my love
As we lie in the arms of an angry vengeful God

And I know we can’t stay together
But I’ll keep you safe forever
And I know that sounds heavy
But fuck it and whatever

Kill Your Heroes AWOL NATION

Well I met an old man dying on a train.
No more destination, no more pain.
Well he said one thing, before I graduate
“Never let your fear decide your fate.”

I say kill your heroes and fly, fly, baby don’t cry.
No need to worry ‘cause, everybody will die.
Every day we just go, go, baby don’t go.
Don’t you worry we love you more than you know.

Blood in the Cut, K. Flay

Met back up with the boy I love
Cried on the streets of San Francisco
I don’t have an agenda
All I do is pretend to be ok so my friends
Can’t see my heart in the blender
Lately, I’ve been killing all my time
Reading through your messages my favorite way to die
Take my head and kick it in
Break some bread for all my sins
Say a word, do it soon
It’s too quiet in this room

Sweet Disaster — Dreamers

Some nights feel like every night
This one feels brand new
Only got bad things on my mind
When I’m with you

Tell me that you need me on the floor
Passed out in your dirty clothes
Ask me what the hell I’m looking for
Like you don’t know

Shatter in the Night — Vesperteen

Laying in the yard and we worship the stars  

And I blow your mind while you kiss my scars. 

We rise and we fall. We’re floating 

And all our time’s revolving around what we see as true 

But it’s breaking me and it’s breaking you

Every Other Weekend — Annie Rapid (always makes me think of Livvy & Ty)

But we are one 

For you are here 

Inside a place so far away 

My brother always near 

It’s every other weekend 

And it’s in the messages they send 

Broken promises will mend 

For all these things we can’t count on 

Will one day make us grow up strong

No Mermaid — Sinead Lohan

we went down to the edge of the water
you were afraid to go in
you said there might be sharks out there in the ocean
and i said i’m only going for a swim

i was swimming around in a circle
i wasn’t always in view
you said we might get into red flag danger
and i am alone when i’m not with you

but i am no mermaid
and i am no fisherman’s slave
i am no mermaid
i keep my head above the waves 

Breaking Free — Night Riots

You’re not my savior, just someone I used to see
I am broken
Something’s wrong inside of me
I feel violent
Like I’m dying
I feel broken
Maybe I’m just breaking free

These Taming Blues — Joe Tex

Is it ever gonna not be so hard to see you around?
Am I really really really really gonna have to leave town?

I mean I called upon a bunch of angels calling angels ain’t you supposed to come and take away these blues?

All five kinds of rains

All nine kinds of thunder and

Eighteen white horses who will not ever come to me!

Don’t plant your feet, love, in that garden of blame.

Don’t break me no more, love.

I’m already tame.

Home  American Authors

I’ve got these letters tattooed on my arm
That remind me each second of where I come from
And the long hard road to get me back home

I’m not trying to part the ocean waves
I’m not trying to overthrow the throne
I’m just trying to find a way to make it back home


In Our Bedroom After the War — Stars

Wake up! Say good morning to that sleepy person lying next to you
If there’s no one there, then there’s no one there, but at least the war is over
It’s us – yes, we’re back again, here to see you through, 'til the days end
And if the night comes, and the night will come, well at least the war is over

Meet me in the Woods — Lord Huron

How long, baby, have I been away?
Oh, it feels like ages though you say it’s only days
There ain’t language for the things I’ve seen, yeah
And the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams

Anna Lee — firekid

Sinking sand
When I sleep
I see her ghost
Siren’s hand pulling me six feet below
Pyramid
Wasted dreams
Built it for two
Inherited her color scheme
Now it’s my tomb
Nessian at a Swim Party

- The Inner Circle decides to host a swim party on one of the warmer days of the year.

- Feyre and Rhysand are cuddling in the hot tub. Everyone else is avoiding that side of the yard.

-Azriel is trying to stay under any shade available, and away from the constant splash wars happening between Mor and Amren.

-Lucien thinks he is teaching Elain how to swim (she is indulging him- for now)

-Nesta is avoiding getting in the water, mostly waiting on the side with her feet in the water.

-Cassian is staying close to Nesta in case she falls, or gets worked up by the water. He knows how afraid she is of being submerged. 

- Eventually it gets dark and the circle moves inside to change out of their swim gear. The rooms to change in are quickly taken up.

-Cassian and Nesta end up having to change in the same bedroom. One person in the room, one in the closet.

-Nesta claims the bedroom, and sends Cassian into the closet. He goes in willingly, wanting to make sure Nesta’s comfortable- but the closet is a tight fit.

-Both start changing, but as Cassian Is bending over to pull his swim trunks down, his wings knock boxes off the closet shelf, creating quite the commotion.

- Nesta rushes to the closet to see if Cassian is okay. She throws open the door and sees him lifting a box back onto a shelf.

-”What just happened?” She says. “Just a little trouble with the wings but I’m fine.” Cassian says as he turns to face the doorway. As he looks up he takes in a sharp breath.

-Nesta realizes too late that she only has only her swimsuit bottom on. Her top is completely exposed. In her rush to check on Cassian, she had forgotten about her state of dress. 

-Cassian catches himself and covers his eyes. “Sorry about that I… uh well… this is awkward.” He seems speechless.

-Nesta knows there are two ways she can address this situation, either she can quickly get dressed and never speak of it again (knowing Cassian would never reveal the incident if if made her uncomfortable) or she can use it to her, and his, advantage.

-Nesta decides no one will miss them, as Feyre and Rhys probably won’t leave their room for an hour, Elain and Lucien will also be taking some extra time to change, and More, Amren, and Azriel will all be delaying leaving their rooms lest they run into one of the pairs. She takes a step towards Cassian.

-”What’s wrong, Bat, you’ve never seen a woman’s breasts?”

-Cassian, recognizing the slight teasing lilt in Nesta’s voice (something he’s only just begun to recognize) opens his eyes, and takes a long look at her. “Of course I’ve seen a woman’s breasts, I’ve just never thought of you as the kind of woman to share so willingly.”

-Nesta smirks. “Well, if I’m not willing to share, then how would I get any action.”

-”I thought you took care of that yourself.” Cassian fires back.

-”Just because I can, doesn’t mean I don’t like to be surprised every once in awhile.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Do you have anything to show me? Or have you learned nothing in 500 years as a bat?”

-Cassian spreads his wings, and strides right to Nesta, leaving a breath between them. “I have things to show you, if you can handle them.”

-Nesta reaches up with one hand and grabs a fistful of Cassian’s hair, with the other she strokes his surprisingly large length. “I’ve got a feeling I can handle anything… no matter the size.” With one last snark delivered, Nesta pulls Cassian’s mouth to hers.

-Nesta and Cassian subsequently forget about the rest of the party, and familiarize themselves with each other for the rest of the night.

-The next morning they realize they never returned to the party, and delay walking into the kitchen for as long as possible. Eventually hunger drives them to leave their room, as they enter the kitchen they find the Inner Circle clapping. Nesta scowls.

-Amren looks at her and says, “What’s wrong? Was it smaller than you expected, or are you wishing you were still in bed?”

Requested by @shadowskiel, @calvin-reads-problem-sleuth, and anonymously

Nihilego is a fantastic combination of two terrifying things: jellyfish and parasites. Nihilego’s pokédex entry states “it’s unclear whether or not this Pokémon is sentient,” and that’s as good of a description of a jellyfish as any.

Jellyfish don’t have brains, bones, hearts, or blood. They don’t have a respiratory system (lungs or gills) to breathe, but they do absorb oxygen through their skin. Some are microscopic, and others longer than a blue whale. Some of them are immortal and can de-age themselves. They’re made of 98% water, they barely have a nervous system…and yet these creatures have been around on our planet for more than 650 million years, so they must be doing something right. In fact, jellyfish are the oldest multi-organ creatures on the planet. Despite everything they lack, jellyfish do have some organs: a mouth and a digestive system, and reproductive organs, for example.

There are over 2000 different species of jellyfish, so let’s just narrow it down to those who, like Nihilego, are also parasites: the myxozoans. Myxozoans are in the same phylum as jellyfish, Cnidaria, but are curious little organisms who go one step beyond jellyfish, not even having a mouth or guts. And like many parasites, they literally can’t survive unless they are infecting a host. They do still have stinging tentacles, though, so I guess that’s good.

Myxozoans live inside the bones and cartilage of fish, where they can reproduce inside and cripple their host, or even to some extent, control the fish. Some Myxozoans cause neurological damage that causes a fish to uncontrollably swim in circles. 

When their hosts die, myxozoans use their little jellyfish stingers to sting, therefore infecting, a new fish. 

As shown in Pokémon Sun and Moon, Nihilego has some adverse neurological effects when it infects a host: namely, what it did with Lusamine. If Nihilego is like a Myxozoan, it needs to bond with a human in order to reproduce: and it likely would have killed Lusamine if it could have completed the process.

Nihilego is a jellyfish-like parasitic Myxozoan. It does not have a brain, a respiratory system, a mouth, or guts. It infects hosts and often causes neurological damage.

Kiss the Girl || j.h

Parts: one | two | three | four | end

Group: BTS

Pairing: J-HOPE X READER

Excerpt: ‘he dived under water, you still in his arms as you continued to writhe around all the air escaping your mouth in bubbles. Then your lungs filled with water.’

Genre: fluff, mermaid au

Length: 1.5k

A/N: I’ve always believed in mermaids

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

 

“What’s the difference between a siren and a mermaid, mummy?” Your mother had glowered at you; in all honesty, she just wanted you to drop your obsession that she knew would most likely lead to you going too close to the water’s edge. But still, she pulled you onto her lap, brushing off the damp sand on your knees as she pulled you to her chest,

“Originally mermaids and sirens were two different beings, mermaids known for physical beauty, and sirens had heavenly voices,” you smiled looking up at her, as she continued her story, “but somewhere along the way the lines blurred, sirens became as beautiful as mermaids. That’s why you have to be careful,” she tapped your nose lightly, “These days the only way to tell them apart is you listen. A mermaid may have a beautiful voice but a sirens' melody will pull you to the water against your will.”

Keep reading

Conventional Couple

Originally posted by wintersthighs

Pairing: Bucky / Reader

Warnings: Violence, fighting, some mentions of past abuse. 

Request: Could you please write a request based on the idea that Bucky is activated as the Winter Soldier and accidentally hurts his S/O then feels guilty and she has to convince him she’s alright. 

Please feel free to add yourself to my taglist over here….TAGLIST 

@just4muggles @morganlb23 @yet-another-lockup @theraputicwritings @unevenpages @littlepartofheaven @itsbubbaog @this-is-bucky-barnes @georgiagrl1990 @angelaiswriting @selldraug

He didn’t recognise you, there was none of the usual light in his eyes when he stared at you. The teasing twinkle or the love that warmed you to your toes, it was all gone. Wiped clean away and replaced instead by the dead coldness of the Winter Soldier. A machine created to do one simple task and right now that task was to kill you.

“Bucky?” you gasped out as his flesh hand tightened dangerously around your throat “Bucky please”

Still nothing as his grip continued to tighten, you clutched at his wrist with one hand and with the other grabbed the only thing in reach, your cereal bowl from only moments earlier. You smashed it into his head taking advantage of his momentary break in concentration to raise up your legs and kick with all your might.

Bucky stumbled back a few steps and dragging in lung full’s of air you rolled from the table landing on all fours as you scrambled away from him.

Tears were streaming down your face as you made for where the block of kitchen knives had fallen when Bucky had very first thrown you across the room.

You’d barely gotten hold of the end of one knife before Bucky grabbed your ankle pulling you back along the floor. You screamed as he spun you over slamming his metal fist into your right shoulder. You actually felt bone shatter and splinter as another scream ripped through you.

Through pain streaked vision you managed to lock eyes with him once more. “You have to see me Bucky. You have to remember who I am”

There was nothing not even a flicker as his hand came back up to your throat, the metal one this time. He was serious, he was actually going to kill you.

“I love you Bucky” you whispered, then with the last of your remaining strength you stabbed him. Pushed the blade of the chopping knife into his stomach.

Bucky’s eyes widened in shock at the sudden pain, you had no idea if it would be enough though because your swimming vision was starting to blink on and off. Your brain to starved of oxygen to stay awake any longer.

The next thing that filtered into your brain was beeping. Consistent and unending beeping. You could smell disinfectant and as your eyes blinked open you realised you were in fact in the med-bay of stark tower. You were alive because if you’d died you definitely wouldn’t still be in this much pain.

“Hey Y/N, you’re awake”

Managing to focus you found Natasha’s red hair and concerned face looking over at you from a chair next to your bed. “Nat?” your voice sound groggy and rough “what happened?”

She frowned “You don’t remember?”

You flinched as you tried to move and your shoulder grated “Bucky. He tried to kill me”

“Someone activated the Winter Soldier program” Natasha confirmed.

“Fuck Nat, I stabbed him! Is he ok?”

“He’s fine” she reassured you instantly. “Apart from reverting back to his usual pathological self-loathing he really is fine. Much better than you”

“the knife?”

“Disabled him enough that you lived” Natasha interrupted “he doesn’t blame you for that Y/N no one does”

You lapsed back into silence as the pain in your shoulder intensified, it was clearly well and truly broken. In fact, you were a little worried that it was broken beyond repair, you could remember quite clearly the feeling of your bones shattering into dust under the strength of the Winter Soldiers attack. “My shoulder Nat?” you asked quietly “Will it heal?”

She sighed reaching out and gripping your hand “It will heal”

“But?”

“But the doctors, they aren’t sure about how much mobility you’ll get back. The bone was completely shattered, it’s possible that even with physio and medical attention it might not heal well”

“Does Bucky know?”

Natasha shook her head at you “I’ve just told you that you might lose mobility in your shoulder and you’re still more worried about him?”

“He’ll blame himself, you know he will, and this wasn’t his fault. Someone triggered him on purpose. The Winter Soldier attacked me not Bucky”

Natasha was watching you curiously “he knows” she admitted eventually. “When he came around you were the only thing he was interested in. Made the doctors tell him about you before himself”

Something about that sentence was wrong, but what was it? “Wait, he remembers?”

“The pain, we think when you stabbed him it jolted him enough to get Bucky back, he managed to reinitiate FRIDAY and call for help”

So he knew, he knew what he had done and he was most likely blaming himself for everything and destroying himself about it. “I need to see him” you demanded trying to push yourself up but stopping halfway as the pain in your shoulder made you want to throw up.

“Easy” Natasha helped lower you back down. “Just take it easy”

Tears were starting to form in your eyes. “Nat you don’t understand; I have to tell him” you insisted “I have to tell him that it wasn’t his fault”

“Y/N he knows that”

“He won’t, you know he won’t”

“Alright well I’ll tell him ok?” she offered “I’ll tell him you don’t blame him, but you have to stay here and rest”

“But you’ll tell him Nat, promise me you’ll tell him”

“I swear” Once Natasha gave her word she kept it. It was one of the best things about her, she didn’t give it out all that often but when she did she meant it. “Now you have rest”

“Alright” it took you little time at all to let the heavy pain medication they must be pumping into you take effect and your eyes fluttered closed once more.

It had been a fortnight and you’d barely seen Bucky. You’d been out of the med-bay for a week and you knew he was avoiding you. Every time you entered a room he’d mysteriously just left. Even with training he was never in the gym at the same time as your physio sessions and he didn’t even eat meals with the team in case you might be there. It was starting to take guilt to a whole new level and you really weren’t appreciative of the silent treatment.

Eventually you couldn’t handle it anymore, if he wasn’t going to come to you then you’d just have to go to him. Marching up to the door of Bucky’s room in the tower you used your good hand to bang on the door. You knew he was there had it on good authority from Natasha that he rarely left the rooms anymore.

“Bucky! Open the door. I know you’re in there” nothing, not even the sound of footsteps. “James Buchannan Barnes I am not moving until you open this door!”

Finally, you heard footsteps stopping on the other side of the door. You could practically feel him stood there staring holes into the door.

“Please Buck, talk to me. I can’t deal with being ignored anymore”

“I’m not ignoring you” the door opened.

“You’re not even looking at me Bucky”

Very slowly he lifted his head, eyes meeting your own. All you could see was guilt, swimming around in endless circles. His eyes flicked to you still heavily bandaged shoulder and the instantly went back down to the floor. “Are you in pain?”

“Not really, I have some wonderful pain killers” you were trying to joke, trying to lighten the mood but it seemed to fall flat. “can I come in?”

“Of course” Bucky moved out of the doorway so you could come in, dropping down onto his sofa he came and sat on the other end as far away from you as he could get.

“Bucky we need to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to say Y/N. I tried to kill you. It’s not safe for you to be around me”

“You didn’t do this to me” you insisted making his eyes flick to your own again. “Bucky this wasn’t you, it was the Winter Soldier. There’s a difference”

“Y/N”

“No James” you inched forwards moving so you were sat closer to him, reaching out you laid a hand on his thigh. “Please don’t cut me out”

“It’s not safe Y/N, this is what this proved. I got out of control and you had to fucking stab me to stop me. As it is you might not get full movement back in your shoulder, what if it happens again and we’re not so lucky? I could actually kill you”

“Alright fine, you might kill me” you agreed “But I might also go out today and get hit by a bus”

“That’s not exactly a good comparison” Bucky insisted but your point seemed to have gotten through slightly as he was looking at you again and not at the floor.

“James surely it gets to be my choice if I want to be around you or not? It’s my life to risk”

“And my mind” he finally moved turning to frame you face with his flesh hand “I couldn’t live with myself if I actually hurt you, I’m barely coping with what I’ve already down to the woman I love”

You froze, he’d never said those words out loud before. “You love me?”

He froze as well eyes widening as he realised what he’d said, apparently he hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but he couldn’t exactly take it back either and pretend it had never happened.

“Yes” he eventually confessed “Yes I love you”

“I love you too” you smiled at him “we can get through this, we can get through it together”

He gave you a weak smile but at least it was better than guilt. “I don’t deserve you” he helped you awkwardly climb onto his lap so you could rest your head against his chest, his metal hand this time trailing up and down your back.

So fair enough you’d had to get him to almost kill you to finally admit that he loved you, which wasn’t the most conventional method but after all you weren’t the most conventional couple.

BTS Reaction - Their s/o is scared of thunder/lightning storms

Anonymous said: BTS react when their “love of life” calling to them in the middle of the night, crying, sobbing and being freaking scared 1)because she hear some noise in the flat 2)and maybe if I can another one react because she’s scared about storm (its me😂)

okay this is gonna be really fluffy and also under a read more because its loooong

Namjoon:

You lie awake listening to the pouring rain as your boyfriend snores beside you. You’re too anxious to do anything, and poor Namjoon needs his sleep. At the crack of the thunder in the distance, you jump and begin pacing the floor. You always get scared during these storms, but prefer to ride them out alone in case your anxiety over them bothers Namjoon.

The lightning brightens the room for milliseconds before everything fades back to black, dark circles swimming in your vision. The thunder that followed must’ve somehow awoken Namjoon, who’s eyes cracked open to see you pacing the floor. 

“Babe,” he said, his voice laced with sleep, “what are you doing?”

Your head whips in the direction of his voice, and you can see his head lifted off the pillow in flashes from the lightning. He’s waiting for an answer, you realize, so you pause your pacing and look down at the floor.

“I’m scared.” You said quietly, and you hear Namjoon move the covers off of himself and he’s behind you within seconds. Wrapping an arm around you, he puts his chin in the crook of your neck just as another crack of thunder omits. 

You spin around and press yourself against his chest, hands in fists resting below his collarbones, forehead pushed against his shoulder. His arms stay around you and he holds you close to him and quietly whispers, “Don’t be scared, you have me here to protect you.” 

Keep reading

13 Reasons Why Preference #1: Pets

a/n: let me know what you guys think; if you want me to continue doing preferences/who i should add!! i know this is shorter than my other writings but I wanted to get a feel for this first :)

Alex; Cat:

Originally posted by bullet-for-my-valentine09

“A cat? Alex, I never thought you’d be a cat person.”

“See, what I love about them is that they know when to be affectionate, and when to back off and take time for themselves. Also he looks like a mini tiger and I love that about her.”

“That awkward moment when your cat and you have the same personality.”

“Shut up, Y/N.”

Clay; Beta Fish:

Originally posted by 13reasonsvvhy

“Clay, you actually have the dorkiest pet in the whole world. It doesn’t do anything but swim in circles and eat.”

“Y/N, I’d like to remind you that I lost the baby doll we had to take care of for the Home Ec project within an hour, and you want me to be responsible for the life of something other than a fish?”

Justin; Snake:

Originally posted by rafaelasgomes

“juSTIN FOLEY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”

“What? I told you you were meeting my pet today, Y/N.”

“Justin, I thought I was meeting a dog because most normal people don’t name their pet snake Rover.”

“Whoops.”

Tony; Sugar Glider:

Originally posted by female-winston

“Tony….what…how…you know what? I don’t even want to know.”

Jeff; German Shepard-Husky:

Originally posted by wkom

“Jeffery Atkins oh my freaking god what is this?”

“He’s a Husky German Shepard mix.”

“Oh my god he’s adorable and I 10/10 am coming to your house without you like babe, I love you and all that but your dog is my new favorite Atkins.”

“Wow, Y/N, that hurts.”

“Love youuuuu. But you don’t have the sky trapped in your eyeballs so I think the dog wins this one.”

Monty; Guinea Pig:

Originally posted by montedelacruz

“Monty, babe….you know I think you’re the hottest, sexiest, most attractive personal alive, right?”

“Of course…but why do I feel like I’m not going to like what you say next?”

“…you know how they say that people look just like their pets?”

“Y/N, I’m going to stop you right there.”

Zach; Dachsund:

Originally posted by oliviagrey3

“Y/N, I’d like you to meet Bark Ruffalo.”

“Oh my god, Zach.”

“Do you know what happens in the summer?”

“If you say a stupid pun, Dempsey, we’re breaking up. So think, is it worth it?”

“….he becomes a really, really hot dog.”

Examining Exaltations

Sun in Aries—The Solar Monarch becomes a Warrior King in Aries. The divine ruler of Leo steps off of his throne and enters his war room here, as he seeks to expand his influence through the Arian cardinal nature. The self-assured nature of the Sun allows for confidence and bravado, but this native is not content to sit back and allow others to enact their will for them. They rule from the front lines, inspiring and encouraging others through their own action, their own ability. Mars increases the vitality of this native beyond the solar reserves and they’re able to feel the energy crackling beneath their skin. Indeed they ARE that energy, and they use it to charge forward bearing the flag of their insignia themselves.

Moon in Taurus—The Celestial Mother descends into the Garden of Eden and her ample fertility infuses the land with life and abundance. No longer being driven forward in the endless tides of cardinal Cancer the Moon is stabilized and anchored by the fixed nature of Taurus. Like a gardener carefully tends to his garden so too does this native seek to make themselves more bountiful. The soft and nurturing nature of the moon is allowed to take root and like a cow nursing her calf this native seeks to provide and care for those close to their heart. Venus provides a soft and gentle nature as well as an innate sense of self-worth and luminescent beauty.

Mercury in Aquarius—(This exaltation is debated by many astrologers, there are some that consider Virgo to be the exaltation of Mercury) The Mercurial electricity that arcs across a thunderous sky in Gemini and races through carefully planned power grids in Virgo meets a circuit board in the fixed air sign of Aquarius. The changeable and capricious nature of Mercury is contained, and as it races to-and-fro it allows even greater leaps in logic to be made. Computing begins, and the mind is able to process in ways not indicated directly by the silvery lines of the microchip mind. Large stores of data are available for mass information management, a spreadsheet containing a myriad supply of statistics used to analyze and make intuitive conclusions about future trends. Uranus provides the human touch (the humanitarian touch) and introduces chaos and divine inspiration to keep this native thinking outside of the box. Saturn pushing for tangible results and a practicality in the thinking allows for direction and focus.

Venus in Pisces—The Goddess of Love and Beauty sinks back into the ocean whose foam bore her forth into existence. She reunites with Eros, the divine love, to swim and circle eternally beneath the waves of the collective unconscious. The self-love sought in the gardens of Taurus, and the brotherly love sought in the mirrors of Libra begin to echo through the depths of watery Pisces. The loving nature is expanded and amplified as rose-colored glasses settle in, and the ability (curse?) to see the good in all people develops. The native is able to connect with the divinity in others, and so finds a projection of the divine love that they actually seek. Venus in the realm of dreams and imagination is able to create endlessly with beauty and purpose, and indeed the creative process is taken to new heights in these natives. Neptune imparts a craving for spirituality in connecting with others, and obscures the real world from the native, allowing them to live in fantasy and delusion… until reality sets back in.

Mars in Capricorn—The raging energy and passion of Aries and the simmering transformative depth of Scorpio are slowed as Mars meets the mountain of earthy Capricorn. Its cardinal nature helps to retain the drive and ambition associated with the planet, but as things begin to decelerate more careful planning and direction can be applied. This native is able to work tirelessly like a machine, and prioritize with an expert flair. Passionate Mars does well in earth, as its sensuality is increased and a penchant for timing develops. Sexuality is expressed steadily and with great skill. Saturn provides structure and longevity while making sure that goals are achievable and provide real results.

Jupiter in Cancer—The Great Teacher that expands the mind of Sagittarius and the imagination of Pisces learns the timing of the tides and attains cardinal direction in Cancer. The loud, raucous energy of Jupiter is softened and subdued as it sinks into a place of environmental control and manipulation. The emotional responses are heightened which makes subtle cues more apparent, and intuition allows the native to learn with ease. There is no better teacher than the mother (subdominant parent) and indeed we learn best from someone who is gentle and nurturing in their approach. Learning becomes a joyous process, and the sharing of information feels like caring for others. The Moon increases the powers of the memory, and imparts an intuitive nature that allows for psychic, spiritual learning.

Saturn in Libra—The personal and professional structure of Capricorn and the societal and cultural structure of Aquarius are laid bare in the open, orderly halls of Libra. Saturn seeks to examine the interplay of relationships here, and thus transmute divine law into human law. This native tries to provide stability in the social arena in an attempt at the equilibrium sought by the Libran archetype. The mind proves an ample playground for experimentation in thoughts of justice and order, and there is a fixation on higher ideals and principles. The endless weighing of alternatives and indecision is alleviated and stabilized by Saturn. Venus imparts a love of cleanliness and form, as well as a deep resounding belief that all people are created as equals.



(The exaltations of the outer planets are heavily debated, with many different points of view being argued fervently. Indeed until they traverse the zodiac many more times I doubt any clear consensus will be reached. I think it’s best to examine your own feelings about the matter after you gain a solid base of understanding for the planets and signs.)

Uranus in Scorpio—The deep need for change and upheaval inherent in the Uranian archetype resonates well with the transformative nature of Scorpio. As the higher octave of Mercury Uranus seeks knowledge and enlightenment. The Scorpion’s investigative nature is allowed to dredge the depths of collective human consciousness mining for secrets long buried. What surfaces often shocks and disturbs, while allowing for growth and learning after these things have come to light. Taboos are exploited and explored, with experimentation in sexuality and psychology.

Neptune in Cancer—Neptune represents the hidden unseen worlds that permeate the space around us. When it enters the Cancerian gateway to the collective unconscious it is reunited with the divine spirituality of that place. The selective caring of the Crab is elevated to universal consciousness, and a search for an ideal world apart from human suffering and imperfection begins.

Pluto in Leo—Power and control are heavily associated with Pluto, and who has more control or power than a king? Pluto washes over everything, destroying anything that is decaying and unnecessary, ripping asunder that which no longer serves its intended purpose. In Leo what’s left is the radiant light of a star, shining purely and with purpose. Pluto in Leo has this same resilience. There are many horrors that must be faced, but ultimately all challenges are overcome and the endurance of this placement is unmatched.

  • Me: running on a treadmill is so useless, you're not even going anywhere
  • Me: wait
  • Me: I swim in circles for many hours every day of my life