swim strokes

Why Every Stroke is Actually the Worst

Written by a swimmer

Butterfly: Honestly I shouldn’t even need to explain this but…it’s exhausting, your arms feel like noodles after 50m, you’re constantly hitting the lane line and/or other teammates with your arms, and if you want to take more breaths you have to take more strokes.

Backstroke: First of all, you always get water up your nose. How, you ask? This is the stroke where your face isn’t even underwater, so that’s impossible! Wrong! All the water splashing around you ends up in your face and it’s terrible. Also you can’t see in front of you so it’s easy to plow right into the lane line/the pool side/your teammates.

Breaststroke: Even though you’re swimming at a normal pace it feels like you’re going soooo slow. If you’re out of practice the motions also feel really unnatural sometimes. And circular leg strokes = kicking your teammates.

Freestyle: Pressure to be fast because it’s the easiest stroke. Plus, you get to breathe the least of all four because you can’t (well you can but you’re not supposed to because it’s slow) breathe each stroke.

At a slumber party
  • Girl: OMG! so guys who are your crushes
  • Me: well....
  • Close friends: uh oh
  • Me: so i have four.
  • Girl: oh really!
  • Me: number 1, really intelligent guy, he's British, he has a flat mate. He solves crimes for a living.
  • Girl: what..?
  • Close friends: oh god
  • Me: number two, he's a frost giant, comes from Jotunheim. He has dad issues and wants to become ruler of this place called Asgard. He's good really good hair.
  • Girl: ....
  • Close friends: this is not good
  • Me: three and four are Japanese guys. Ones this really rich dude, his dad owns hospitals. He's kind of an asshole, but he cares about people. Oh and number four, he's smart. But he can't swim any other stroke then Butterfly. But still, he is really smart.
  • Girl: .................
  • Close friends: *face palms*

“There is no greater annoyance to regular swimmers than a slow-coach who refuses to let the traffic pass.” So true OTL

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2

Dr. Josef Mengele, the infamous Nazi doctor, never once used anesthesia on any of his victims, and the excuse was always the same: the anesthesia was needed by German soldiers. Mengele deliberately broke children’s legs, let them heal, then broke them again, and so on, to see how many times a bone could be broken before it would not heal. He escaped Europe in 1949, under a false identity and lived in obscurity in Argentina, a hunted man until his death by drowning, from a stroke, while swimming in the ocean on February 7, 1979

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