swift storm

Let’s make a baby part 5 D|H

A/N : Look part 5 of the lmab series is out ! (Yes the abbreviation lmab stayed) This contains a bit of drama but that’s nothing compared to what I have planned. (muhahah) I hope you like this part just as much as the others. Y/L/N stands for ‘your last name’ in case somebody doesn’t know.  

The morning sun woke me up, the light was way to bright for me to ignore. I was wrapped in my grey and black blanket that was matching with Dan’s. Speaking of my boyfriend, he was still asleep next to me. I could tell because I could hear his deep and steady breaths. Month three of my pregnancy has just begun. Dan was the most supportive person in the world. The past weeks were filled with morning sickness and tiredness but it’s already starting to get better. I crawled out of our cosy bed and walked across the room until I stood in front of the huge mirror in the right corner. I had mad bed hair but I wasn’t concentrating on that. Once again I looked at my belly. I have actually gotten a bit round. “The little boo is about as big as a cherry now” Dan said from behind me in a raspy morning voice. He clearly had just woken up. After rubbing his sleepy eyes he tiredly walked over to me and hugged me from behind. “You look so beautiful, Y/N. I can’t wait until your little baby bump is huge.” he smiled. Since we obviously hadn’t chosen a name because we didn’t even know the gender of the baby, Dan just decided to call him or her boo. So it was Daniel, Y/N and ‘our little boo’ now.

“How are you feeling today, darling ?” he asked as I got myself a cup of tea. He wore grey sweatpants and a short sleeved t-shirt. “Just a bit nervous” I answered truthfully. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. “Why are you nervous ?” he asked surprised. “The ultrasound” I simply stated. His chocolate brown eyes widened in shock. “You forgot, didn’t you ?” I shook my head in disbelief. “Well…., yeah” he said scratching his neck. There was guilt written all over his face.“We have to be at the doctor’s at 1pm, now you know” I told him with a warm smile. But somehow his eyes were growing even bigger. I scanned his face. He was now staring at the floor and buried his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. “Daniel what is it?” I asked with a bad apprehension. “I’ve got this really important meeting that I can’t postpone. I’m sorry” he admitted mad at himself.

10 minutes later we were still discussing the issue with raised voices. I was walking up and down in the lounge. “I can’t believe that you are missing our baby’s first ultrasound ?!” I yelled. “Can you stop being upset ? It’s not good for boo” He pleaded. He was sitting on the couch with his head buried in his hands and felt miserable. This was important to me and I really thought that it was also important to him. “Y/N, you know that I can’t reschedule this meeting. It’s a one time thing.” he explained for the fifth time now. Although I understood that I was still not okay with it. “Maybe you could call the doctor and-” he suggested. “So I have to change all of my appointments until they all fit in your agenda ? You know how long we’d have to wait for a new date. What if something is not the way it should be and we only find out in another two months ?” I asked him overprotective of the baby inside of me that was as big as a cherry, according to Dan’s research. “You know that I wanted to come with you so badly. Don’t act like I’m the bad father here.” he shouted louder than I thought he would. He almost made me jump with his sudden angriness. Before I could do anything about it I felt tears fill my eyes. I guess the happy pregnancy story was now over. I felt helpless and confused and I didn’t even know where all these tears suddenly came from. “I liked you way better when your hormones weren’t going crazy” Dan scoffed. With that he had crossed the line. I went from sad to mad in a few seconds. He knew he had screwed up when I stood in front of the couch and evilly glared at him. “If you won’t come with me, I’m going to ask somebody else.” I told him and rushed out of the living room.

At 12:30 the door bell rang. Previously me and Dan had gotten ready for our appointments. I quickly opened the door and greeted Phil who gave me a warm hug. “Who is it ?” Dan wanted to know as he walked towards the entrance. “Phil ?” he asked surprised as he saw his best friend in the door way. “Looks like I’m helping out for you today” Phil said happily. It was Dan’s turn to evilly glare now. “Can we talk real quick ?” he asked trying to not sound pissed off. I followed him into the lounge. “You asked Phil to go the doctors with you !?” he whisper- yelled. I nodded, satisfied with myself. Dan hasn’t gotten jealous in quite some time since there was no doubt that we belonged together. But the thought of me and Phil showing up together for the ultrasound and having everybody think that Phil is the father of the baby got him furious. “You can’t do that” he cried in frustration and anger. “I really need somebody who supports me today. We actually have to leave now. And you should leave too since you wouldn’t want to be late for your meeting.” I explained.

Me and Phil were sat in the waiting room. I held his hand because of how nervous I was. He ensured me that everything was going to be alright and I told him about the 'fight’ me and Dan had in the morning. “I’m glad that you are here with me, Phil” I admitted. He was really supportive and excited about this whole baby thing. “You could name the kid “Blitz” as a thank you ?” he suggested and I laughed. “The doctor will be ready for you soon.” the nice lady who works here told me. “Y/L/N, ordination 3 please” a male voice announced through a speaker. Me and Phil raised from our seats and he carried my handbag for me. “Has Miss Y/L/N already left” I heard a posh accent ask the receptionist in haste. I turned around to see Dan in his black leather jacket. His hair was wet from the rain outside and had already started to curl. He was out of breath and nervously picked at his fingernails. I saw how the receptionist pointed at me and he spun around in one swift motion. He stormed towards me, raindrops tripping from his hair and his wet shoes left stains on the white floor. He took me in for a huge hug and pressed my body tightly against his. “I’m sorry, this is way more important than that stupid meeting.” He whispered.

We started walking towards ordination 3 as I noticed that Phil stayed behind. “If you want to see boo, you can come with us” Dan told him, trying to prove that there was no need to be jealous. “But only, if we are not naming the baby 'Blitz'” I laughed and we walked off together. After I had greeted the doctor and lain down the doctor put some gel onto my belly.

“Before we start I need to ask you one thing. It’s too early to see if it’s a boy or a girl on screen but we could do some genetic tests to find out. Do you want to know the gender of the baby ?” he said. I looked at Dan for a second before we both said “No” in unison.

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-Phan

-Youtubers

- Superfruit/pentatonix

-American Horror Story

-EVAN PETERS IN GENERAL

-Ed Sheeran

-5SOS

-some other gay bullshit : - ) 

I’ll follow anyone that reblogs this post pLS I NEED FRIENDS INTERNET FriENDS ARE COOL

There’s an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush. The clouds will part. The rain will stop. The sky will clear in an instant and only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it.
—  Grey’s Anatomy
Clean...

“Maybe you lost someone you never expected you would lose. Maybe you lost yourself, that’s even worse. When you have bad days that don’t let up, I just hope that, you will look in the mirror and remind yourself of what you are and what you are not. You are NOT your mistakes, you are NOT damaged goods or muddy from your failed explorations you are NOT the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you. You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible and you are a person who survived a bunch of rain storms and kept walking. I, I now believe that being that makes you strong, and I now believe that walking through a lot of rain storms gets you clean….”

taylorswift

Storm of life

This is the third chapter. I think it’s relatively longer than the first two. I really hope you enjoy this. Thanks for the positive comments on the previous chapters, I’ve made sure I read all of your messages to Kristina. While reading this, I was listening to Camila’s “De mi”. Just saying. Enjoy it guys


He sat by her doorway, as Taylor refused to open the door despite his knocking and begging. The sheets of rain kept falling viciously on his drained body, but he didn’t seem to mind. Adam couldn’t move, he couldn’t bring himself on his feet and find shelter. But most importantly, he couldn’t leave. Usually, stormy nights are full of panic and fright. But, to him, that stormy night was full of self destruction.

The streams of tears falling down his cheeks were in sync with the sheets of rains falling on him. After months of pretending he was fine and over it, that night his feelings had gotten very overwhelming, he could no longer control them. A series of flashbacks would come back in high tides, and he was not sure whether it was the sound of his heart being shattered in pieces, or the loud cracking sound of the thunder that was shaking him up. He closed his eyes tight and the flashback began…

A knock on the studio door, distracted him from work. And a huge smile appeared on his face when he saw her walk in. “Hello baby,” Taylor said in that soft, smothering voice of hers as she walked beside him, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. She was wearing a beautiful jumpsuit, showing just the right amount of skin on her chest and the locket. She was wearing the locket he gave him.

“Hey babe, you look beautiful”  he pulled her in, making her sit on his lap. Adam couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Certainly, couldn’t keep his hands to himself either. Her cherry red lipstick made her lips look so irresistible to him.

Taylor looked into his eyes, blushing. “Oh Adam, come on” she looked away, smiling big. He had that effect on her. Maybe it was because she felt sincerity in his words, or maybe because nobody had made her feel this way before. Before the things would get too intense, she got out her phone in order to show him a few photos.

“I mean it, kitten.” He was whispering as he leaned his face down on the crock of her neck kissing gently.

That caused her to bite her lip, she most definitely had seen this coming. Taylor tried to play it cool, looking back at him raising her eyebrow. “Wiles, focus here. I’m trying to show you a few things.” While she was going through kid’s nursing rooms. “I’ll have dinner tonight with two of my house designers friends, who are gonna help us decorate boo’s room and the house we just bought, baby” she explained.

But he wasn’t man to give up easily. “Are you sure you can’t have this meeting some other night?” gripping on her thigh, he went on kissing on her neck.

The passion was building up as Taylor unwillingly fluttered her eyes shut and tilted her head to the side allowing him more space, and took her hand back on his hair, biting her lip harder than before. “Mm…I mean…um…if you’ll help me dress up this time, I might as well find an excuse for getting late”

“I give you my word I will help you, kitten” running his fingers through her hair, he brought her face near his as he attacked her lips passionately, to which she replied with the same passion and intensity.

Lightning flashed across the sky. He covered his face with his hands. Not because the light was too much, but because he could no longer hold in his suppressed sadness and desperation and it was flowing out of him. The demons on his head, raging and taking over. He stopped taking in, he would just exhale devastation. The high tide brought to surface all the words they yelled so loud, but meant so little.

A knock on her door. Music being played inside, he knew she was there. He knocked again. She was mad, he knew it. He wanted to be there, he wished she knew that. . She was ignoring him, despite knowing he hated that. This time he banged on her door .At last, she got it. Holding a glass of wine, she hadn’t taken her dress still off. Adam could tell she was tipsy, again tonight. But clearly not by the wine on her glass, the sorrow in her heart instead.

“Oh, look who’s here. My boyfriend. My amazing boyfriend, Adam” in her most sarcastic tone, Taylor said as he walked in. “You’re a bit late though, baby. The show is already over.”

“Why weren’t you getting the door? And stop fucking drinking” he took the glass away from her hands and put it on the table.

“Are we gonna have a fight about this now, baby? I mean because of course me not getting the door on time for your majesty is reason enough for us to fight, but you not appearing on the most important night of my life isn’t. Sure. Logic” he could tell the deep sadness in her voice, sadness she tried to hide through her sarcasm. It was her self defense mechanism.

“No Taylor, we’re not gonna fight about this. I was just asking.” Adam walked to her, gently rubbing her back. “Babe, you know I’m the proudest of you but I don’t like putting my relationship on full display like that. Taylor, all attention would be on us. You deserved your job only to be talked about tonight.”

She walked away from him. Tears building up, as she was shaking her head in disbelief. “Sure. Sure. You’re so great with justifying yourself, finding the perfect excuses.” Turning around and meeting his gaze, she took a deep breath as the words sounded more mad than she expected them to, but that didn’t stop her. “I wasn’t asking you to walk the red carpet with me. I was just asking you to be there, with me. With my family. It wasn’t aired on TV, we wouldn’t have cameras blasted on our faces recording every second and over analyzing every movement. I just need you there. Okay, I got it why you wouldn’t come at the Met gala with me. But tonight? Adam tonight I needed you there.”

“Well, what do you want me to say Taylor? This is who I am. I mixed up my professional and personal life once and it ended being the worst mistake of my entire life. I don’t want it to happen again.” He was sorry. Deep down he knew the reason why he didn’t go were their problems. He knew he wasn’t good at faking smiles. But he was happy for her. He loved her. He really did.

“Do you even hear what I’m saying? I just wanted you there. I wasn’t asking you to get on stage with me, to present me with the award or walk the red carpet. I just needed you by my side on the biggest night of my career. You can’t bring up your past mistakes Adam because I put aside all of my fears and doubts aside for you. ” tension was building up, you could tell that by how harsh and cold her voice has turned.

“I don’t understand the reason of this whole fight now, okay? You’re turning this bigger than it is. Why don’t we talk about how you always want things to happen your way? You didn’t want me at the Grammy’s with you because you had already asked Selena to be your date. You were fine when I told you I wouldn’t come with you in NY for Met gala and when you came back..oh baby, when you came back you couldn’t care less I hadn’t been with you”

“Because I understood when you said fashion isn’t your thing but…”

He interrupted her, with dark empty eyes he was looking right back into hers “No. Because you had gotten your revenge then. I didn’t come to NY with you and you fucking spend the night grinding away with that dude and made sure your friends were recording, or isn’t it so, Taylor?”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you? Like fuck Adam, FUCK,” she screamed bloody murder at him “This was supposed to be the fucking happiest night on my life and you made sure every minute of it would be ruined. Just stop okay? If you’re here to fight, just fuck off. Take all of your things and get out of here.” She turned her back on him, walking towards her stairs. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure of seeing her vulnerable and crying, as she made sure wiping every tear away from her cheeks.

“Oh yeah, I forgot what was next. You playing the victim. For fucks sake, Taylor, time to build a fucking bridge and grow the fuck up” he wasn’t having any of it anymore.

“Fuck you” she yelled on top of the stairs and threw her shoe at him, but missed . Instead , it hit the frame on the wall. ‘You’ve successfully buried yourself inside my head’ was the last thing he read before the frame fell on the floor. The sound of the glass crashing and getting shattered into thousands of pieces filled the room, as she was saw him opening the door to leave brought her to her knees. She sat on the last stair, crying, sobbing out her fear of being left alone, defeated, heart wrecked, she begged him to stay “Stay…please”

He hated watching her cry. Fuck, he hated knowing he was the reason she was crying. Something would break inside of him every time he’d see her sad and crying. He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t turn his back on her and leave. He closed the door, turned around and started walking towards her, up the stairs. She was holding her head on her hands and as much as she tried to hold it in, she failed. Silent tears streaming down her cheeks, within each tear he’d find himself drowning.

He sat down with her, wrapping his strong arms around her in a warm, gentle hug. As he rested his head on hers, pulling her in closer, she melted in his arms, burying her face in his neck. He hated himself for hurting her, but she could shake him up like one another. They stayed like that for a few good minutes, taking one another’s scents in. God, she loved that. She loved him. Her mouth would yell the harshest lies, but her tongue would scream the longing for tasting his again. She just needed to feel his love. She needed to know nothing had changed. She needed him to make love to her, with the same insatiable passion and anger he opened the door to leave. She wanted to feel the reason why he stayed.

Running his fingers through her hair, he planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry” he said as he looked into her broken eyes, realizing he’d rather apologize than lose her. He could no longer control his hands, as they started grazing through her body while his lips attacked hers feeling them tremble in his burning passion. Her mind melted, her soul was screaming trust, her body was submitting to him, as she lets out a deep, sincere moan “I need you, Adam”.

That’s all it took for him to take her in his arms, own her. Have her. Make love to her over and over again. It was in cases like this where he understood that to love means to be vulnerable. He never dared to give that much of himself to anyone, but he loved her. Loved her beyond logic and reason, beyond limits and mistakes. He loved her, despite he hated being vulnerable. Times like these when their bodies did all the talking, he felt strong in his vulnerability.

Adam couldn’t feel his body. The numbness was intense enough to have become painful. He was cold and soaking wet. His jeans were clinging to his skin in all the wrong places, and his button down shirt was dripping with extra weight he didn’t need right now. He had toed off his shoes and socks at some point after he had been left alone, but as his feet scrabbled and occasionally brushed against the concrete floor he found himself questioning the logic of that choice. He was trying to control the trembling from the cold. Although his immune system was strong enough to fight diseases, he knew he wouldn’t get out of this lightly. He didn’t know what time was it, but he knew he had stayed there for a few good hours. “She hates storms..she…she’d afraid of loud thunders, - raising his voice in hopes she’d hear through the wind howling – but I’m here baby….I’m….here”. Pieces of broken flashbacks took over, as he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“I love you” she swore, looking deep into his eyes.

“Forever” he promised, locking their gazes.

-

“I’m sorry.” she said, walking out of his house for the last time.

“It’s okay, I knew this would be over soon.” Holding himself together, daringly meeting her gaze.

-

“How are you?” a cold text, he had received that Monday morning.

“As if you fucking care” he replied back, in the afternoon despite having read it minutes after he got it.

-

“What did you do that? You know all of my fears and insecurities” she was yelling on the other side of the phone.

“You know what? Fuck you and your fears and insecurities. Just go fuck yourself” he hung up on her, throwing his phone away.

He could feel his body temperature rise up, his body started shutting down. A couple of tears streamed down his cheeks, he couldn’t understand why was his heart still aching now? His weary soul had finally laid his armor down and he felt himself resting.

*

“Oh my god, Adam” She couldn’t believe her eyes, running to him. He was sat there, back against the walls, his long legs outstretched, head tilted to the side. “He didn’t leave. He stayed.” Caressing his cheek, she could feel them sizzling hot. Looking back at  her bodyguard “Brandon, please send one of the boys to buy 2 packs of Tylenol. Please hurry”

Gently stroking his cheeks, she could feel his beard brush against her palms. From this close, she could notice the freckles on his nose. His dirty blonde hair falling on his forehead, were wet making it appear darker. “Adam…Adam wake up” she spoke softly. “Ba…umm…Adam” she tried again, planting a gently kiss of his cheek. His eyelids fluttered weakly , unable to open fully in his continued struggle to awaken. But he kept trying to force his eyes open. After opening them halfway, he met her gaze. He didn’t know if he were dreaming,but those dreamy blue like the beautiful still ocean after a raging storm eyes made him warm, made him feel home again where everything is quaint. “Taylor..” he reached out, caressing her cheek smiling at her, brushing his thumb off her bottom lip.

God, how much she loved when his bright evergreen forest green eyes would stare deep into hers, lovingly. She had missed his touch, these morning sleep soaked eyes, that dream drenched voice. She tried to fight it hard, but she loved this man. She came to realization that she never stopped loving him. “Adam, - smiling at him -…you’re soaking wet. And you have temperature. Please get up and come inside. I’ll prepare a nice warm tea and soup, one of the guys went to buy the medication. Can you get up or should I call Brandon?”

He looked around. His face was burning hot, his body too but his soaking wet clothes, had made him stiff and his muscles sore. He hadn’t moved at all, his entire body was numb. Trying to remember what exactly had happened last night, running his finger through his hair. “I spend the night outside because you…-looked at her, almost accusing her through his eyes – you didn’t let me in.”

“No, no. I thought you had left. I..i just couldn’t talk or think straight last night, Adam and I hadn’t noticed the storm coming and I thought you had left. I swear, if I had known you were sat here, I would of let you in” it sounded like an excuse but it really wasn’t. He would always leave, she thought it was the case this time too.

He stood up. Under other circumstances, he wouldn’t be able to but now, when everything was getting clearer and anger was building up, he did stand up. Looking at her with his eyebrows together “I banged on your door. Storm started just a few minutes after you shut the door to my face, and I kept banging.”

“No, I swear I just…look, I’m really sorry. Please come in, I’ll take care of you. Look…” you could see guilt and regret in her eyes, truthfulness in her voice and vulnerability in her gaze.

If god were real, he would swear he put them all of the stars in her eyes. That’s how bright they were shining in sincerity, warming him up everything inside of him. But, in that exact moment, he couldn’t control his sharp tongue. “I can take care of myself, Taylor. Just like I always did.”

That felt like a knife twisted right in her heart. She knew what he meant. He would never forgive her for letting him all alone, after the accident. She went to see him 2 days later, but it wasn’t because her love had faded. It was because of that text. “I…” no, right now isn’t the right time to bring that up Taylor, he’s tired – she thought. “Um…don’t – go, she wanted to beg him to stay. Instead she said – Adam, don’t be stubborn. Please come in. You can’t even drive, you’re barely standing. Look, just have a bath and I’ll prepare you a soap and then you can leave. Please”.

He was too stubborn to pay attention to what she was saying. It was the second time he needed her, vulnerably needed her and he knew she’d take advantage of that. It was the second time she had left him alone. Well, this time around he didn’t want her to take care of her. She shut the door in his face, when he made another step toward reconciliation, but she had chosen her pride. Shaking his head, he was now walking towards the front gate.

“Adam..no please, just…” now she understood how much it hurts. How much it hurts watching someone leave. How much it hurts holding words in. She understood now that hate isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is. His words would kill her, but the sight of his back walking away was cutting her open. And it hit her hard, it was now or never.

“Okay. You want the truth? You’ll have it. Truth is I fucked up. I hurt you and I killed myself, and I fucked up. Yes, I danced with Tom that night because I was mad you didn’t come and I knew you’d find out and I knew you’d hate it. Yes, I drank my pain away and kept dancing with him and each time he’d pull me in, I was disgusted with myself. Because I wanted your hand on me, I wanted your arms around me. But I didn’t stop because I knew it’d make your blood boil and set every since cell of your body on fire. Truth is, I lost myself when I lost our baby. The emptiness clawed from the inside of my chest, destroying everything I was made of. I figured, there is no pain like the pain of what could have been’s. The what if’s hunting me down. The distance between us grew bigger, I felt like our love had died with our baby. I tried filling in that emptiness, but I wanted to hurt you too. You always stood tall and strong and I hated that because I was breaking in front of you. I…”

“I love you”

That’s all he said. It moved something in her. Actually no, it moved everything in her. It was a feeling she had never experienced, this relationship had brought many first’s in her life and there goes another one. She was born searching for a great love, she swore she would never settle for anything less than extraordinary yet she was terrified of it’s power. This love gave her so much and took it all away in an instant. Fear, pride always stopped her. But, this was the wrong time to let those three important words slip by.

“I love you too”

It was as if every cell in him could feel it. And as for all the new cells being born, they come into this world knowing that they, too, have a love oh so great. And it terrified him. Loving her that much terrified him. He couldn’t even look at her and tell her all those beautiful words his heart was screaming in the loudest silence. All he needed to say were words that start fire in their hearts, the kind of fires that kill. He felt the tears coming, yet the fire wasn’t slowing down from raging.

“I love you, but…”

His answer sharp as a knife. Her heart dropped to her stomach. Her brain knew, but her heart wasn’t ready. But he couldn’t hold back the words anymore. This time he couldn’t yell loud enough to mask the sound of his crackling heart.  It was time to use all the matches, and set them on fire for the last time. After all, always something greater comes from the ashes .

10

10 Super Heroine’s dressed as one of the world’s biggest Pop Stars for the Halloween season ●Wonder Woman as Ariana Grande ●Super Girl as Taylor Swift ●Harley Quinn as Miley Cyrus ●Catwoman as Katy Perry ●Poison Ivy as Lana Del Rey ●Bumblebee as Rihanna ●Black Canary & Emma Frost as Britney Spears & Iggy Azalea ●Storm as Beyonce ●Gamora as Nicki Minaj ●Gwen Stacy as Ke$ha