sweets rambles

Things that crack me up about Legolas:

  • Okay, so maybe the film guide says he was born in TA 87, but looking at clues from HOME and the Silmariilion, he’s at the very most a bit over 2000 years old at time of The Fellowship of the Ring. He’s the youngest elf that we know about in that time period. ARWEN is older than him. He’s creeped out by Fangorn being so old but he calls all mortals children because he’s a little shit.
  • Tolkien would get super pissed off when Legolas was shown in illustrations as “pretty or lady-like” and insisted that he was the biggest, roughest, toughest of the elves and the most hardcore of the Fellowship. Legolas is like the freaking Schwarzenegger of the elves, nbd.
  • Best friend is a dwarf whose father was literally imprisoned by Legolas’ father and yet he still brought him to the Undying Lands for the most awkward family reunion because screw you Thranduil. And let me remind you that a) Gimli is the only, only dwarf who got to make the trip and Legolas invited him. Other people had to get permission from like the literal Valar and Legolas was like I want to bring my mortal bff yeah he wasn’t a ringbearer but whatevs. Also b) most of the people who left in TA 3201 went on like these fleets of beautiful vessels with a master shipbuilder but Legolas was like nope, going to build one myself, never built one before but it can’t be that hard, right?
  • While Sindarin is the most common Elvish language by the time Legolas is alive, it’s considered really ugly and unrefined, but here Legolas is running around probably not even able to speak the language of his ancestors, and I imagine him super proud of what must sound like an awful accent to his people.
  • Also super explains how useless he was at Moira trying to decipher the door because he doesn’t have time to deal with those snobs.
  • All the Fellowship got useful gifts or ones with spiritual meaning but instead Galadriel was like no, Legolas, I’m going to give you this big ass bow that’s bigger than the Mirkwood ones and it’s going to be so sick yeah it’s like taller than you are BUT ITS GOING TO LOOK SO SWEET.

is… is thomas actually a disney prince?? like, this family of deer just shows up at his house and he’s like “hey friends! didn’t mean to scare you! have a good night!” as if this is normal?? bless his heart

a collection of out-of-context The Adventure Zone quotes

- “You hear… crinkle-tinkles.” “FUCK.”

- “Hot diggity shit. That is a baller cookie.”

- “Oh, the Unicorn Double-Barrel Special.”

- “No dogs on the moon, they just run off the goddamn thing.”

- “I find that not killing people is very easy.” “Well, we all have dry spells, kid.”

- “Dad, you can just say ‘masturbating’.”

- “ ♫ Oh shit, sweet flip. ♫ “

I swear, ever since Hussie vastly reduced his social media presence towards the end of Homestuck, his cryptid powers have grown exponentially. You almost seem to forget just how much of a cryptid he is, since you don’t really hear much from/about him these days, but then when you DO… hoo boy.

Like, you’ll hear nothing Hussie-related for months on end, then all of a sudden he’s showing up to a convention with a minions t-shirt and fidget spinners taking pictures with Vriska cosplayers. And now we’ve had an absolutely bizarre and somewhat terrifying sbahj update drop out of nowhere, followed up the next day by a third-party website just casually announcing a new sbahj book that’s a collaboration between Hussie, KC Green, and fuckin DRIL. With no other explanation whatsoever.

The man has an aura of truly terrifying power…

I can be the sweetest girl you’ve ever met and you’d never realise I’d be thinking of where my tongue will trail on your body and how adorable you’d look with all the lovebites on your neck

I want that sickeningly sweet type of touchy love. I want to love like we’re always holding hands, like, put our arms around each other. Love like I can’t be in the same room as you without touching you. I don’t care how long it’s been, 2 months, a year, 10 years, or even more. I don’t want it to wear out. Love shouldn’t wear out to quick kisses before work. Holding hands should never grow old. I want to grow old with love. With my love.

so today my professor told us how she found her 8 year old neighbor crying on his way home from school last week and when she asked what happened, he told her that while he was at hockey tryouts these white boys called him the N word and told him that black people couldn’t play hockey. she felt so bad for him because she said he was always sweet and well mannered to her. she convinced her brother to give up his tickets to see the Flyers vs Habs game so she could give it to her neighbor. somehow he ended up meeting Wayne Simmonds and the boy’s father told him what happened.

apparently Wayne had a really sad look on his face after he heard what happened but he told the kid to not give up even though people’s words can hurt. and when Wayne told the kid that he believed in him and that he could be the greatest hockey player in the world and maybe even play for the Flyers one day if he didn’t give up, the kid started to cry. later Wayne gave the boy his email address and said that if those boys ever messed with him again, that he was to email him and that he would have his back.

after the boy and father thanked Wayne, he had a big smile on his face and just said, “us handsome fellas gotta stick together, eh?”

I am honestly living for interactions between dodie and Phil 💛