my condolences to anyone who’s ever lost me
and to anyone who got lost in me
or to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me.
for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof.
i’m sorry you missed the God in me.
and i’m sorry you missed the light.
i’m sorry you forgot the way i arose like the moon,
night after night.
with the burden to forgive
eager to feed you everything.
see.. i’m a holy woman.
i know what it’s like to give life to a being
without ever needing to press skin against one another.
i’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough,
i’m afraid i forgot to say goodbye.
i’m afraid you’re under the impression that i was made to please you.
i was under the impression, you understood me better.
the truth is,
i’m a super woman.
and somedays i’m an angry woman.
and somedays i’m a crazy woman.
for still waiting..
for still loving harder even if i’m aching.
for still trusting that I’m still worth the most.
for still searching
for someone to understand me better.
He ran his fingers through her curls
As he looked into her eyes.
She felt her face grow warm and red.
He’s was nothing like those other guys.
It was in the way he looked at her
And held her when she cried.
She could stay like that forever
Lost in his blue eyes.
She had to break their gaze.
Afraid that she might drown,
Because she was falling steadily
And was scared to hit the ground.
As he pulled her closer
His heart was beating loud,
And just before he kissed her
He promised he’d always be around.
She got me praying all hours of the night, say she want my heart,
She pulling me to the river, drawing me with her siren's call,
Done gave her my heart but now she wants my soul,
Well I already sold it to the man in red,
"Fell in love with your charm," but its a curse; cos am dead,
Girl you're not who you say, bad girl they say you are
Innocence isn't where am at, wear your crucifix bae
Don't make me out all serious bonnie, slave to this bad religion,
Unrequited love, praying at my shrine, cos I don't have a heart
Like a dead man walking, I lay at your side,
Make sure you're alright in my world, atleast that for you girl,
It’s crazy. You’re raised to believe that when you meet “the one” you’re supposed to feel nervous, uncomfortable, anxious. But I met you, and everything felt right. I wasn’t scared because for whatever reason I knew I could trust you. I knew I could be myself with you. Since day one. I knew I could laugh like a fucking seal, that I could sing like no one was listening even though you were right next to me. I could say the weirdest shit with my delirious 3 am thoughts and you would giggle and agree. Or you’d make fun of me. But even then when you’re laughing at me I don’t feel vulnerable, because you do dumb shit too and I love it. I love that we can just be us.
That’s how it should feel. That’s how it should always feel.
it’s long nights and tight hugs it’s laughter and curling into each other when the world is relentless it’s understanding and patience endless patience
it’s that you know how i like my coffee and can tell something is wrong before i do it’s finished sentences and inside jokes it’s planning our future together planning a life it’s the calm to every storm the impenetrable protection from every danger
it’s you and me us in this crazy world taking on every moment because there’s no other way it’s happiness and sadness and everything in between tackled hand in hand side by side together teammates
I love you is true it’s sweet and sentimental it fills my heart so much it overflows but it isn’t enough
I truly hope one day you find something worth living for. One day I hope you can think of us and smile without crumbling to the floor. I hope you go out and chase those crazy dreams of yours. And I really hope you never forget that a piece of me will always be yours.