With as many kids as Bruce has adopted it’s highly possible
that the media has made at least one reference to it, probably something along
the lines of: “Bruce Wayne buys houses like he adopts children.”
Contrary to how his family feels (they think it’s hilarious)
Bruce actually likes it. The first time he uses the phrase in reference to
himself his family is Horrified (and in Damian’s case Offended). “I’ve been
buying shares of Apple like I adopt kids.”
They all assumed it was a fluke, a slip of the tongue, until
it happened again. Tim and Damian had been fighting and ended up ruining a set
of Batarangs. Bruce sighed making a note to replace the set mumbling “I collect
these like I collect kids.”
The line stopped Tim mid swing at Damian, both turning to
stare slack jawed at Bruce.
“Father, I’m not sure you’re aware of what you’ve said.”
“What’s the matter with what I said?”
It gets to be a habit, and no one can figure out why he
likes it. Has he become aware of his habit? Is he some how purposefully making
fun of himself? Jason swears it’s to remind himself not to adopt any more children. At last they all corner him in his
office, Bruce looking confused from his desk as his children march in one by
“Why?” is how Tim starts it.
“Why?” Bruce frowns.
“Adoption. Why do you keep making the joke?” Cassandra
Dick adds, “You’re not embarrassed of us are you?”
If their question surprised him it doesn’t show as Bruce sits
silent at his desk, watching his children for a moment. “It reminds me of how
proud I am of each of you.” He let his gaze rest on each of his children,
pausing a beat longer on Damian to remind his son that yes he meant him too.
After that it wasn’t rare to hear the Wayne kids making a
joke about their father’s adoption skills.
The more I interact with the Devils, the more I like them. For example, I just held hands with a Shy Devil, and went to the Opera with an Affectionate Devil. If thats not adorable, I don’t know what is.