sweeney todd music

Musicals as types of people in school
  • Phantom of the opera: The emo kid with short hair that's always in every singe musical the school puts on
  • Cats: The kid that knows that everybody hates them but they still fight to pursue their dreams/the kid that nobody knows is an acrobat
  • Sweeney Todd: The goth kid who hisses as people in the hallways and only hangs out with like two other people and keeps a diary
  • Heathers: The really popular and preppy girl who's secretly really sad about everything
  • Spring awakening: The kid who makes waaay to many sexual jokes and lost their virginity before everyone else
  • A chorus line: The kid who's never available to do anything because they're at rehearsal
  • Wicked: That one kid that was always ignored in school but grew up to be extremely famous
  • Into the woods: the kid with an unnaturally morbid sense of humor
  • Les Misérables: The kid who's way to into politics and starts fights just about every day
Some Musicals as Clickbait Titles
  • Hamilton: He didn't throw away his shot- until he did!
  • Phantom: "The strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera, a mystery never fully explained."
  • Assassins: The strangest JFK assassination conspiracy yet!
  • The Drowsy Chaperone: This man listened to musicals so much that he hallucinated he was in one!
  • Heathers: This Teen Murdered Three of Her Classmates- Find Out What Went Wrong!
  • Les Mis: We heard this story about an obscure French rebellion- and we are LITERALLY SOBBING :'(
  • Into the Woods: You'll never look at fairy-tales the same way again!
  • The Sound of Music: New evidence has uncovered what upper-class Austrians did in light of Anschluss, and you'll never guess what it was!
  • Sweeney Todd: "Demon Barber": One Man's Journey of Revenge, Murder, and a Meat Grinder.
  • Waitress: You go, girl! This woman's journey is the most inspirational thing you'll see all year.
Musical allignments

Lawful Good: Legally Blonde

Neutral Good: 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Chaotic Good: Newsies

Lawful Neutral: Spring Awakening

True Neutral:  Into the Woods

Chaotic Neutral: Les Miserables

Lawful Evil: A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

Neutral Evil: Heathers

Chaotic Evil: Sweeney Todd

musicals ft. summaries

Phantom of The Opera: gross goth guy lives beneath sewer and writes an opera

Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812: seriously who the fuck writes an electropop opera about a 1200 page russian novel

Hamilton: seriously who the fuck writes a hip hop musical about alexander fucking hamilton

Zombie Prom: you know, taking your dead ex-boyfriend to prom may have seemed like a good idea in theory but im not sure anymore

In The Heights: somehow humorous and depressing all at the same time, also gay

Lizzie the Musical: okay im not kidding this time who the fuck writes a musical about lizzie fucking borden

Heathers the Musical: dating creepy guys in trench coats is probably a bad idea

Carrie the Musical: if you make fun of someone for getting their period, you’re in for a big surprise buddy

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: who the actual fuck comes up with the idea to write a musical about the seventh president of the usa

Wicked: green gay meets pink gay and it’s pretty gay

Ghost Quartet: who the fuck comes up with this shit though

Les Misérables: emotional pain feat. gay revolutionaries

Spring Awakening: not explaining puberty to sexually frustrated teenagers is probably a bad idea

Waitress: deep shit blueberry pie and overly lovable characters

21 Chump Street: drugs are not the way to a woman’s heart, apparently

Sweeney Todd: okay no seriously who the everliving fuck comes up with this shit

Love Never Dies: i don’t have any funny joke for this lnd just sucks

CATS: i mean i guess writing a musical about cats may have seemed like a good idea in theory

Starlight Express: what the fuck alw

Explaining Broadway to my Friend
  • Friend: So Lin has a wife?
  • Me: yeah
  • Friend: And she let him kiss her (Phillipa Soo)
  • Me: yeah? I mean... it's a play?
  • -
  • Friend: WAIT HES NOT IN THE MUSICAL ANYMORE? (Lin Manuel Miranda)
  • Me: yeah he left
  • Friend: HOWS THE SHOW STILL ON
  • Me: what do you mean? They get some people in his place
  • Friend: Why? How? They don't just replace the cast!
  • Me: ...?
  • -
  • Friend: okay let me get this straight, none of these people (original cast of hamilton) are in the show anymore?
  • Me: yeah original cast is gone
  • Friend: I don't think I want to see Hamilton anymore
  • Me: I swear, if you have the chance to see Hamilton and you choose not o because of the cast I will actually slap you
  • Friend: But it's NOT the original cast so it's not worth seeing!
  • Me: /$:&;!&:/'/$:&&/:$-&&;

Have you ever thought about how weird the plots to musicals are? For example:

-Singing and dancing about an ex-con and bad revolutionaries who all die

-Singing and dancing about teenagers who commit homicide

-Singing and dancing about broke people dying of AIDS

-Singing and dancing about disfigured opera singers

-Singing and dancing about the early American government (and certain treasurer) 

-Singing and dancing about HUMAN MEAT PIES.

There’s some weird shit, y’all…

The gist of Sweeney Todd
  • Mrs Lovett: Mrs Mooney puts her neighbour's cats into her pies
  • Mrs Lovett: wouldn't do in my shop
  • Mrs Lovett: just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
  • Also Mrs Lovett: we could put people in the pies though that's fine
(In)appropriate Audition Songs -Part 1

Hi, I’ll be auditioning for Philip Hamilton and I’m singing “Bulletproof” by La Roux

Hi, I’ll be auditioning for Eliza Schuyler and my song is “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood

Hi, I’m auditioning for John Laurens and I’ll be singing “Same Love” by Macklemore

Auditioning for Aaron Burr with “Oops, I Did It Again” by Britney Spears

Hey, here to audition for Alexander Hamilton and I’ll be singing “Shot Through the Heart” by Bon Jovi

Hi, I’ll be auditioning for Grantaire and I’ll be singing “Drunk In Love” by Beyonce. 

Hi, I’m auditioning for Javert and I’ll be singing “Defying Gravity” from Wicked. Just kidding, that’s way too high for me. I’ll actually be singing “Jump” by Van Halen.

Today I am here to audition for the role of Fantine, and I will sing “Death” by White Lies

Future Enjolras here, I’ll be auditioning with “Revolution” by the Beatles, and if you need a second song, I have “Bleeding Out” by Imagine Dragons prepared

I’m auditioning for JD, from Heathers, and I’ll be singing “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz

Hello, I’m here to audition for Sweeney Todd and I’m singing “Murder Song” by Aurora

Hi everybody, I’m auditioning for Nessarose from Wicked and I’m singing “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen. 

….add more to my list!