You sighed and turned around to face him. “They locked us in.”
You sighed and turned around to face him. “They locked us in.”
“No they didn’t.” Lin pushed past you to jiggle the doorknob and you rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, it’ll work if you do it; the doorknob must not like me enough to open the door.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the only person who doesn’t like you-”
“Would you just shut up?!”
He turned around to look at you, his face devoid of any emotion that was positive. “Excuse me?”
“I’m so fucking tired of this!”
“No! Just be quiet! For once in your goddamn life, don’t fucking talk.”
He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, only being quiet to prove he could, not because you told him to.
You sat down on the couch and ran your hand through your hair before calling Karen.
It went straight to voicemail.
So you tried Mandy, then Chris, then Tommy, working your way through everyone who worked at the Richard Rodgers but to no avail.
“Maybe they just don’t like you.”
He shrugged and pulled out his phone. “Ten bucks and your resignation that they answer my calls.”
“Sure, Miranda. Why not?”
He smirked and began calling his co-workers, starting with Chris. Then he called Alex. He went through the entire roster of workers and yet, not a one seemed available to take his call.
“Seems like you’re stuck with me,” you said with a smug smile.
“Whatever.” He sat down at the opposite end of the couch and stole your food.
You grabbed it from him. “Back off, Miranda. That’s mine.”
He took it back. “Paid for by the salary you make working for me. So technically…” And he ate a giant spoonful of your rice.
“Give it back.”
He laughed. “No.”
“I’m serious, Miranda.”
His eyes widened. “Oh no, I’m so scared.”
You lunged at him to take your food but he held it over your head.
“I do have a first name, too, you know,” he mocked you.
“Give me my food!”
“Nope,” he said and continued eating.
Barely registering you were in his lap, you kept moving forward as you tried to reach your food.
Lin made a noise of surprise but continued to hold your food just out of arm’s reach. You pressed against him without meaning to, trying to get closer to your food, moving around in his lap as you did so.
You ignored him and kept reaching for your food. He shifted underneath you.
“Y/N, get the fuck off me.”
“Give me my food and I will.”
You leaned back to look at him and realized the position you were in: your knees on either side of his hips, your right hand in his, which you had probably grabbed to keep him from pushing you away, and you sitting directly over his- no.
You jumped back to your side of the couch as if you were burned and he wordlessly handed your food to you, avoiding your gaze.
“Thanks,” you whispered, trying not to think about what had just happened.
He nodded and began searching the bag for other food he could eat.
“I think Mandy got the same thing,” you said softly.
He nodded again and pulled it out, eating silently.
You brought your knees up to your chest and rested your food on them as you ate, looking anywhere that wasn’t him.
You hated Lin-Manuel Miranda. That was a constant in your life since high school.
This is a part of the Small Thing to Two Giants series
Note: Okay guys I am still on break from writing, but I found this in my docs like half finished and figured I’d quickly finish it off and let y’all have it. This was my first time writing a threesome and also it’s the first smut piece for STTTG I hope you enjoy! Also shout out to @daveeddiggsit for proofreading this for me!
Warning: smut, oral sex, probably swearing (I don’t even know I was half asleep when I finished this off)
You sigh as you crash into bed at 9:30 after pulling one of Daveed’s shirts over your head. You can’t remember the last time you went to bed so early but here you are tired of everything and ready to curl up under the covers. Without your boys either side of you the bed feels too big. It feels too big for one tiny little person. Herc jumps up on the end of the bed and curls up at your feet, his presence bringing a small smile to your face.
Herc is the only one who’s been around to bring a smile to your face lately. You know Daveed and Oak don’t mean to be away all the time, and of course you’re happy for them. As hamilton’s popularity grows your boys are needed more and more for press events and photo shoots.
The thing about it that’s been getting on your nerves is that while they have spent so much time away from you, they’ve been together. All day, every day they’ve been able to spend their time together while the only times you get to see them is in the morning before you go to work and at night when they get home.
As the thoughts swim around in your head you don’t notice the sound of the front door being opened a while later until you hear Daveed’s voice.
“Lin, c'mon you’ve performed in front of thousands of people and you’ve never been this nervous.” I overheard Chris say and I looked at Lin in curiosity.
“Yes well in case you haven’t noticed, I care more about what they think then what thousands of people think.” Lin pointed out and I smiled a bit. Lin having a crush was officially the cutest thing ever.
“Well Lin, if you act as cute as you are acting right now, I’m sure they’ll love you.” I told him and Chris tried to stop himself from laughing at Lin’s embarrassed expression.
“You’re cuter.” He said, looking over to Chris to see if he said the right thing. Chris was laughing extremly hard and didn’t notice. I blinked.
“I’m sorry, no one is cuter than Lin Manuel Miranda.”
“I don’t know what you guys are talking about but I agree with Y/N.” Oak said as he walked up to my side and I laughed.
“You just agreed that Lin is the cutest human being on this earth.”
“Well I mean it’s true but sorry for hitting on your man.” He said before walking away. Chris started crying and he sat down on the stage trying to catch his breath.
“Oak sees it too, Lin.” He said and I frowned.
“That we are perfect for each other.” Lin said casually before realizing what he just said and he looked up at me. “I mean I’m not say that we are- we aren’t but-”
“I get it.” I told him in a more harsh tone in which I intended. He looked upset and he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“We should probably get back to practicing anyway.” He said slowly and he walked away.
“Damn that was a bit harsh, don’t you think so?” Chris asked me and I looked away from Lin’s retreating figure and towards Chris.
“It wasn’t supposed to come out that way.”
“I’m not the one you need to tell that to.” He pointed out and I sighed.
“You’re right. Thanks Chris.”
“It’s no problem, just go and make Lin happy and adorable again.” He smiled and I returned it before running to catch up with Lin, who was probably relaxing in his dressing room. I knocked on the door and waited there for several minutes before he answered, in the green suit he wore for most of act two.
“I’m sorry about my tone earlier- I came out wrong.” I told him and he smiled sheepishly.
“It’s alright- it was stupid of me to get upset over it.”
“Please Lin I don’t think it’s even possible for you to be stupid.”
“Oh trust me, you bring out the best in me so you haven’t seen nothing yet.”
“Is that a promise?”
“If you want it to be.”
“I should get to the stage, I am on for ‘What’d I Miss’ and we have one minute before we’re starting again.” I told him and he nodded and we walked side by side to the stage.
After we finished practicing 'What’d I Miss’, we continued with other songs in act two. And after practicing on several other songs, the intro for 'Burn’ started and since there were no ensemble members in this song, I sat with Chris and we watched Phillipa sing. After 'Burn’, dinner arrived at the theater and we all ate together, bringing out the picnic table used in 'My Shot’ and the chairs used in the cabniet battles.
“Oh yeah, that wink in 'What’d I Miss’ was for Y/N.” Daveed said and I looked at him, confused.
“Oh, you winked at me?” I asked him and he nodded.
“Yeah it was from Lin though.” He said and Lin whipped his head towards Daveed.
“If the shoe fits wear it.” Daveed smirked and Lin groaned.
“Yeah yeah, thanks Thomas Jefferson.”
“It’s no problem Lin- I am only flirting with Y/N for you since you aren’t.” He said and I nearly choked on my food and I started coughing loudly. I eventually stopped and glared at Daveed before taking another bite of my food.
“Wait- you are hitting on her for me?” Lin asked and I started coughing again and I glared at Lin and Daveed.
“Is it that obvious?” Lin groaned.
“That you like her? Yeah.” Daveed said and Lin smiled at me cautiously.
“So I have something to tell you.” He told me and I smiled widely.
“Mr. Jefferson, I uh, wasn’t expecting you here!” Your voice cracked, he raised an eyebrow.
“I see you got all dolled up, it’s nice to see you in something other than an apron.” He winked, you rolled your eyes.
“This is coming from the man who ‘has a thing for the working girl’.” You jabbed. Jefferson gave you some sort of short laugh and held out his hand.
“May I see your hands?” He asked, the question seemed familiar to you, you held out your hands reluctantly. He held your hands, palms facing up and looked at them for a moment.
“Now this here is what gives you away.” He ran his thumbs across the edges of your palms. “Callouses, I can tell that you’ve been writing quite a bit as well… Ah, I see that that tea cup stayed with you, huh?” He asked, referencing the tiny scars on your hands from the tea cup you crushed. It had been awhile since you thought about that day, you felt a bit nostalgic. He stared down into your eyes. Opia, you weren’t exactly comfortable with exchange but it was difficult to look away due to how vulnerable you felt. Philip’s eyes are much softer…
“You trying to say I’m not as pretty as I could be because my hands are a little roughed up?” You questioned sarcastically, yet he shook his head.
“Actually, quite the opposite. I believe it gives you a certain charm. It’s almost like seeing a patch of wildflowers. They have no control, they’re erratic and yet they can still be just as beautiful as a domesticated blossom. I would not mind escorting these hands to the dancefloor when the time comes. Honestly, I am surprised you are not with Philip right now…” He looked up and squinted. “Well speak of the devil!” You turned your head to the side, for a moment you didn’t believe what you were seeing. The door was being closed and standing in the front of the room was Philip. You recognized his light grey coat, which you had just washed not too long ago. His wavy hair hit his shoulders, his freckles were masked slightly due to the bright lights around him. What really made you stop though was the person holding onto his arm. There was a girl, she was just a bit shorter than him, her skin was a bit darker than Philip’s, her chocolate brown hair was put into an up-do. Her dress fit her well, it was a bronze like color with red detailing. You suddenly felt self-conscious and completely forgot that Jefferson was holding your hands. You suddenly heard another voice off to your side.
“Monsieur Jefferson! It has been too long my friend!” Lafayette called as he made his way back to you. You pulled your hands away from Jefferson. You were baffled as they stood next to each other. They look exactly the same. THERE HAS BEEN A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX EXCUSE ME?! You could tell Lafayette was a bit taller but Jefferson’s hair evened them out.
“Ah, Lafayette! You look well!”
“I see that you have gotten acquainted with Miss Titania.” Lafayette stated.
“So, it was you who brought her here? Good, now I’m all caught up.” Jefferson nodded his head toward the door and Lafayette noticed what your current topic of conversation was.
“Oh, he’s here already I see.”
“You knew he was going to be here?” You asked with exasperation, Laf nodded curtly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You didn’t get an answer, Jefferson looked at Lafayette and said that he would be back in a moment. It wasn’t even ten second later when you heard a voice that floated in your dreams.
“Uncle Laf, I did not expect you to be here! Have you brought someone along as well?” He asked. Lafayette gave you a tight lipped smile. You took a deep breath and turned around, Philip’s eyes met yours and that spark was their once more as they widened from shock. “St-uh I mean, Titania…I didn’t know you’d be here…” He took heavy breaths.
“Hello Philip…” You trailed off.
“Uncle Laf, you uh, brought Titania to the party?” He asked nervously. What the hell’s his problem?
“Yes, I did. She looks quite lovely; do you not agree?”
“I uh, um uh…” He stammered. Okay, now I’m starting to get a bit upset and not in the sad way.
“And you must be Theodosia! You’re just as beautiful as Philip described you!” You squeaked. Theodosia unlinked her arm from Philip’s and smiled sweetly at you.
“Aw! You’re so kind! You really think I’m beautiful Philly? That’s so sweet!” Her voice was just as cute as she was. How could I ever compete with that? Thomas came back and stood next to you.
“Ah, so a Hamilton did come. How old are you now Philip? Nineteen?” What are you doing? You already knew he was here. Before he could answer, you heard the sound of various instruments playing. “It appears that the time of dance has finally arrived! Philip, you wouldn’t mind if I stole Titania away for a dance, would you?” Jefferson asked, playing politics. Alright, this is getting just ridiculous at this point. You turned to face Jefferson.
“Thomas, why ask Philip? If you wish for a dance, simply ask me.” You said with forged interest. He smiled slightly and held out his hand.
“Of course, what was I thinking? Would you do me the honors of allowing me a dance, Miss Titania?” You gave him your hand as an answer and he led you over to the dancefloor where several couples were already dancing. Jefferson pulled you close.
“Just so you know, I can’t dance.” You whispered, he twirled you around before laying his hand on your waist.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be leading.” He joked. He took a step, then another, he conducted you across the floor. You stepped on his feet a few times but he didn’t seem to react to it. You saw Philip and Theodosia from across the room, his face was blank as they began to dance together. You were spun out of Jefferson’s arms and your back hit something. Someone touched your shoulder.
“Monsieur Jefferson, you would not mind if I stepped in would you?” Lafayette asked from behind you. Jefferson walked over to the two of you, debating something in his head.
“Here’s an idea, we could share.” He suggested. Share? What does that mean?
“But this is not France, mon ami!” What the fuck is happening in France?!
“Who says that it can’t be tonight?” Jefferson pointed out, the two men looked at each other with mutual understanding. DO I JUST HAVE NO SAY IN THIS?! Laf took your hand and danced with you for a moment, leading you closer to the center of the room. His dancing was much more relaxed and gentle than Jefferson’s.
“Titania, quick, tell me what Philip’s favorite physical trait is for you.” He whispered, you were traded off to Jefferson.
“I noticed you called me Thomas earlier, that’s new.” He nudged you past him and met Laf once more.
“Uh, my eyes!” You answered. Too many conversations are happening at once! Laf nodded and the two of you slid across the floor, the two of you passing by Philip and Theodosia.
“Mademoiselle, te yeux sont beacoup belle, mets de côté se sur moi, s’il te plait.” He whispered, although not quiet enough. You saw Philip visibly flinch but before you could ask what he said, you were changed back over to Jefferson. You started to notice a bit of a pattern to their dancing, Laf was more elegant, he preferred soft turns and slow spins. Jefferson who the opposite, all of his moves were sharp and precise, intense seemed to be the word that described it best.
“Can’t dance, huh?” Jefferson asked rhetorically.
“That’s correct, I don’t know how to dance!” He chuckled at your insistence, he leaned in and whispered in your ear.
“I would be inclined to disagree…” It was at that moment you realized something, people were starting to clear the floor. They were watching you, you were in the metaphorical spotlight. Jefferson felt you squeeze his hand. Oh God, they’re all staring at me. I’m gonna mess up! Shit, shit, shit! He squeezed your hand back to get your attention. “Don’t worry, they’re looking at you because you look beautiful. You’re doing great.” He reassured. You were spun into the center of the room, but Lafayette was not there to do any sort of trade off as you had been doing. Instead you saw the two men circling around you, you wondered how they were able to sync up their choreography so seamlessly. All eyes were on the three of you. You picked up an edge of your skirt with each hand and twirled around in place, lifting up one edge every few seconds. You stopped when you felt a hand hit your left shoulder, then your right. Thomas and Laf were on either side of you, they stepped around you, both of them moving their hands down your arm. Lafayette grabbed your right hand, Jefferson took your left and both of them bowed down a kissed your knuckles lightly. Everyone in the room clapped, being very entertained by the scene. The two men straightened their posture and smiled at the crowd. A blush of embarrassment stretched across your cheeks as you looked on at everyone. You looked around and saw a very happy Theodosia, clapping in amusement at the scene, Philip however did not look pleased. He was biting his lip and almost looked annoyed by something. He stared at you for a moment but you were swiftly led away by Lafayette back to the side of the room. Honestly, that’s where you felt more comfortable. Laf bellowed with laughter.
“That was quite enjoyable, was it not?” He asked, Jefferson followed you over, a sneaky smile on his face as always.
“How was that?” He asked you. You thought on that for a moment before responding.
“Actually…that was really fun! I haven’t done anything like that in…well ever!” You giggled, the weight of the world’s gaze falling from you. You actually felt happy, which had been noticeably very difficult these past couple months.
The rest of the night went something like this, you danced with Laf and Thomas but you also did with a few other men. You really felt like you were dazzling the room and it was great! You didn’t expect how much fun you’d have. As the evening wound down Laf said he would call for the coach to come around. You didn’t see Philip anywhere so you assumed he had already left. Jefferson appeared in front of you, he always seemed much calmer when he was talking with someone one on one.
“I had a very lovely time with you, Titania. Perhaps you should attend these events more often. As I aid earlier, it’s nice to see you in something other than an apron.” He complimented.
“Perhaps, yes. Although, should a married man be making such flirtatious comments at someone so much younger than he?” You asked sarcastically.
“I am simply an appreciator of all things beautiful, I simply cannot keep my opinion to myself!” He joked. Lafayette came back and informed you that the carriage was ready, the two of you said your goodbyes to Thomas and left in the carriage. As the coach pulled into the yard back at the estate, you noticed someone leaning against the balustrade of the steps. Philip? Laf hopped out of the carriage and helped you down.
“Uncle Laf, would you mind if I talked with Y/N for a moment?” He asked with an edge in his tone. Lafayette raised his eyebrows knowingly.
“Of course, Philip. Miss Y/N, you were the perfect company this evening. I shall see you tomorrow.” He bowed his head and walked inside, leaving you with Philip.
“What do you want, Hamilton?” You asked in annoyance.
“Oh, so I’m Hamilton now? What happened to ‘sunshine’?” What the fuck is his problem?!
“Okay, you know what? You’re really pissing me off right now and I do not have to deal with this.” You walked past him and entered the house. You walked across the main room, through the dining room. Philip followed close behind you.
“This isn’t over! We are going to talk about this!”
“I don’t really feel like talking to you right now, Hamilton!” You yelled back at him. You went through the kitchen and out the back door into the garden. You weren’t sure why you went there of all places. Philip followed you out and closed the door behind him.
“No, we will talk about what just happened!”
“So now you care? You don’t talk to me for months and now you’re suddenly interested?”
“You went to a ball with my uncle and danced with my father’s mortal enemy! How is that in any way okay?” He asked.
“It doesn’t matter! This is my life and you obviously don’t seem to care about me, so how about you shut the fuck up! You have no room to talk!”
“Well at least I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not! The Y/N I know wouldn’t be all buddy-buddy with Jefferson!” You got in his face, if he thought that he could lecture you after being a total jackass, he had another things coming.
“Oh, I’m pretending? Have you even looked in a mirror lately, Philip? I obviously don’t know you because the Philip I thought I knew was kind, funny and actually had a heart! What makes you think you know anything about me?”
“I know you because I’ve loved you for years! And I thought that maybe you loved me back for a while there! Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” His voice dropped to a whisper and you were overwhelmed.
“What are you talking about?” You asked, he ran his fingers through his hair.
“When I left, you didn’t ask me to stay. I left it alone at the time but… it kept eating away at me. When I saw you on my Christmas back home, it was so difficult! You were always so indecisive with me, like you were never sure how to feel or act around me. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you before I had to leave. Did Mom tell you? I stayed with you, all those days while you were asleep, I was by your side. After I went back to school, it reminded me of when I told you I was going to be away to begin with. That made me wonder, did you not ask me to stay because you couldn’t or because you wouldn’t? You think I don’t have a heart? I tried to get over you, I lost faith that you would actually want to be with someone like me. But I put the emphasis on tried. Even tonight, I couldn’t stop comparing Theodosia to you, she’s smart yes but not the same way you are. She just agreed with me on everything I said, you never did that! You’d challenge me, give me a reason to think! Every night, I’d look outside my window and think ‘God, I hope she’s looking up at the stars and knows that I’m here. That I’m seeing her eyes every single time.’ I never stopped thinking that, even when I came home…” He trailed off, you saw tears pricking at his eyes and no matter how many times h tried to wipe them away, they’d always come back.
“Philly…Why didn’t you tell me this?” You asked in a soft voice, he shook his head.
“I was scared… I didn’t want to hear you say… that you didn’t feel the same. I mean, you probably don’t but…I just really couldn’t handle that. So, I tried to forget you… But then, I saw you tonight at the ball. I got this feeling in my chest, it was suffocating. I didn’t want to see you there, dancing and laughing with all those other men. At the same time, I sure as hell didn’t want Theodosia on my arm, I wanted it to be you! I felt so angry, I was mad at myself for not being able to walk up to you, it was ridiculous! How are you supposed to tell the woman you love your feelings if she doesn’t reciprocate?” He sounded so lost and defeated, it was heartbreaking.
“Philip Hamilton, that’s not fair…because I do love you!” You saw his eyes widen. “I didn’t ask you to stay, not because I didn’t want to but because it didn’t feel right. I thought you wanted to do this, I didn’t want to hold you back. And that’s because I love you more than anything in this life, I would choose your happiness over mine every time. I put what we had aside, but right now I’m standing by your side. No one else’s.” You took his hand and entwined your fingers together. A few stray tears fell from his eyes and in that moment, his color was back. My Autumn Rhythms.
“Oh thank God! I feel like such an idiot; I didn’t want to tell you like this. I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you. I’m so, so sorry!” He brought you linked hands to his chest and clutched it hopefully.
“Hey, it’s okay! I was mad too, apology accepted. We were both being kind of ridiculous at some point. I’m just happy that this is finally happening!” You couldn’t help but have a huge grin on your face. He looked down at you, you still weren’t used to how tall he was. You brought your other hand to his cheek and tried to wipe his tear streaks away with your thumb. His eyes met yours and you felt your heart skip a beat. Boom. You saw his eyes move in that familiar triangle pattern. Right, left, down, right, left, down. He leaned forward and this time, you weren’t nervous, this time you met him halfway. You felt like the world stopped turning, the universe couldn’t keep you two apart. His lips felt like the sun’s rays were kissing you, and honestly that was the most accurate thing that could ever describe it. Nothing else mattered more to you but him. He pushed some of your hair behind your ear and as he pulled away he unlaced one of the stems in your braid.
“Helpless… Don’t think I didn’t notice these too by the way.” He poked your nose with the petals on the flowers.
“Angie and Eliza helped me get ready… Holy Shit!” You suddenly had a realization. “They planned this! All of them!”
“Who planned what?” Philip questioned.
“They did! Alex, Laf, Eliza, they all knew this would happen!” Philip let out a huge laugh.
“That sounds like something they’d do. I’m glad they did though.” You smiled up at him.
Words: Maybe less than 500, i apologize in advance
Warnings: Just pure fluff tbh
Request: Could you maybe do a JMads x reader where JMads works as a barista at a coffee shop and every day (y/n) flirts with him using coffee puns? And they smile every time he becomes a darker shade of red? They end up exchanging numbers and it is just super fluffy and cute???? Please and thank you! @sweaterkitty-fluff
A/N: we do not know much about ol’ JMads (at least from the plays perspective) but i feel like i made him adorable. Oh and the person who requested this, i looked at your blog and i love the pun in the description! im a sucker for puns.
You found a little coffee shop on
the corner nest to job. It was small and cozy, and you only saw a few people in
there every hour, at most. When you first decided to grab a cup of joe, you
didn’t regret it. One of the workers, who went by the name James Madison, was
handsome. Really, handsome. That’s
when you decided to go there.
It was your routine. You would visit
your favorite coffee shop, flirting with him. You always called him JMad, and he smiled and
laughed every time. His laugh, it was a musical sound. And you loved to hear
more and more. That’s when the puns began. It started small, like “It’s a brew-itful day today, isn’t it?”.
Soon, you were making him laugh every chance you got.
Today, you walked into the shop,
ready to see your crush. There was a lot of customers in the shop today, and
the line was extremely long. You decided to wait until it died down, so that
you could have a longer conversation with James. Once the crowd dispersed, you
marched over to the counter, ready to order. He did not notice you march up, so
you rang the bell on the counter. He was in his brown apron today, wearing a
collared shirt and jeans. He turned around, his brown eyes meeting yours. You
did a little wave, and he smiled.
“Nice to see you, Y/N. The usual?”
He asked, and you nodded.
“Yup.” He grabbed the coffee pot,
beginning to brew the coffee. You sat at one of the stools, watching him. “JMad?”
He looked up, a small smile on his face.
“Can you hold the sugar? You’re
sweet enough.” You winked, and he blushed, looking down at the counter. You saw
the smile grow on his face, and you took this as encouragement to keep on
“Sure, Y/N, no problem.” The owner,
Thomas Jefferson, walked out the back, staring at the two of you. You twirled
your fingers at him, and he shook his head, passing by the two of you to help
another patron. You turned back to Madison, and he chuckled at you. “You’re
going to get me fired.” He grinned, and you noticed his face getting redder by
the second. This time, you decided to step up your game. He placed the hot
latte in front of you, and you sipped it. The hot liquid burnt your tongue, and
you hissed. James panicked, looking at you.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“I don’t know, JMads. The coffee is
hot,” you looked into his eyes, “but you’re hotter.” You wiggled your eyebrows.
He put his hand to his mouth, the heat rising in his face. You found it cute
that you could mess with him so easily, and you hoped that this would lead to
He placed the towel he held in his
hand to the side, and stared at you. You were surprised that he finally acknowledged
your advances, so you put the cup down.
“You’ll be soy sorry for those puns.”
He looked at your seriously. You coughed, almost spitting out the coffee you
held in your mouth. The look on his face was priceless, and you giggled
“You did not.” You gasped through
chuckles. He nodded slowly.
“I like you a latte and I think we were
meant to bean. Would you like to go on a date with me?” You smiled at his now
permantly burgundy face, his lips cracking a smile. You grabbed the pen that
was by his ear, and took the napkin right next to you. You wrote down your
phone number, passing it over to him. He smiled, placing it in his front
pocket. You grabbed your cup of coffee, and before you left, you looked back at
“How long were you thinking of that
pun?” You asked. He smiled, putting the pen back next to his ear.
“You can set up your laptop on the kitchen counter or the coffee table,” Lin said, setting your suitcase and violin case next to the couch. “I have a trundle bed in my room you can sleep on too.”
You grunted in response. You set your laptop case on the kitchen counter and joined Lin in the living room, plopping down on the couch, Lin sitting down next to you. You managed to grab all your clothes, your laptop, your violin, and the jar of money under your bed. You had been slowly stealing money from your dad, saving it up for enough money to buy the bus tickets you needed to get to Albany. In the jar were about five hundred dollars and sixty-four cents. But, now that your dad was locked away in custody, you didn’t really need the money. You can just save it for a rainy day.
“How are you feeling, (Y/N)?” Lin asked, laying the back of his hand on your forehead. “Your fever is going down faster than I thought. Good thing, too. It should be gone before next Saturday.”
You felt a warmth fill your chest and your heart started beating quickly in excitement. Next Saturday, you were going to be watching the premiere of Hamilton from the stage wing instead of the audience. Lin couldn’t get you a ticket but he managed to pull a few strings and now, you were going to hang out with the cast and ensemble as you watch the show.
“I’m really excited.” You said, grinning brightly, making Lin chuckle and crack a smile. “I’ve never seen a musical live before. It’s going to be awesome!”
“The cast is really nice too,” Lin commented. “I’m sure they’ll love you.”
“I hope so.” You said, sitting back into the couch cushions. “My social anxiety is going to be the death of me.”
Lin chuckled, patting your head. He sat back to, mimicking you and staring up at the ceiling. “We have a few hours left of daylight. Want to go anywhere?”
You closed your eyes and thought. You had three months until you had to move out of your birth city and go live with your mom. You could go shopping now that you had freedom from your devilish father. You could go to those Recreational Centers in the city with indoor pools and weekend classes for hobbies you always wanted to try out. Maybe you could take up volleyball again at school. The new semester starts in a few weeks so you could practice more so you could get on the team again. You could volunteer at shops and organizations by donating your time and help out. The options were endless.
“Let’s go to that paint shop on 21st Street.” You said, opening your eyes.
“A paint shop?” Lin asked, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”
You sat up. “I want to get back into art. I was an art kid when I was younger. Mainly painting and acting. I was a pretty good painter, according to my art teachers.”
Lin smiled and stood up. “You like to act?”
You nodded and grabbed your wallet (which was really one of Lin’s old one but he said you could have it). “I love to act. I was usually cast as leading roles or other major roles.“
“Is there a certain type of drama you like to act in?” Lin asked, grabbing his phone and wallet before slipping on his shoes.
You pulled on your NYCU sweatshirt and tied up the laces of your converse. “I love tragedies. But not as much as I love musicals. I only got to be in one musical and I was an ensemble member, which sucked.”
“You dance?” Lin looked at you, cocking an eyebrow.
You shrugged. “It was a class grade to be in the musical so, kinda? It was mandatory.”
Lin nodded and grabbed his jacket. “Let’s get going.The subway is most likely packed at this time of day because of people getting off work.”
You followed Lin out of the apartment and down the hall to the elevator. Lin pressed a button and the doors closed. The elevator was quiet and you were fiddling with a loose piece of the bandages that covered your left forearm.
When you collected your stuff from your house, you had to go to the police department to fill out forms and get your ‘wounds’ checked out. All the cuts that haven’t healed yet were disinfected and wrapped up in bandages. In the end, both arms and both legs were wrapped up, from wrist to shoulder and from ankle to mid-thigh. Your father was filed into the system and you got to leave with Lin, the female officer giving you two a ride back to Lin’s apartment building. You took some more medicine for your fever and ate something more solid now that your stomach wasn’t a mess. You took a nap too since you felt emotionally exhausted.
Lin lead you out the building and down the street. He stopped ten minutes later and lead you down the subway entrance. After Lin bought the single ride tickets for the both of you, you went and sat down on a bench, waiting for the train. You watched all the people bustling in and out of the station, talking on their phones or listening to loud and horrible pop music. Most of the people were dressed in business attire and carrying briefcases while everybody else around them was dressed in graphic tees and ripped jeans. There were a couple families here and there but not many. It was about five o’clock so it was time for people and students to go home from work and school.
The train pulled up to the platform and you stood, following Lin and the crowd into the passenger car. The seats filled up almost instantly and Lin managed to get a seat next to the doors, but the seat next to him was taken by a young woman in a hijab. You took hold of the railing next to Lin’s seat as the train lurched forward. You wobbled and shook but kept a secure grip on the rail and your feet were planted on the floor. You took out your phone and opened Twitter, mindlessly scrolling and liking your favorite celebrities’ tweets.
“Do you want to trade places, (Y/N)?” Lin asked out of the blue.
You put your phone away and looked at him. You smiled and shook your head. “That’s okay, Lin. I’m fine.”
Lin raised an eyebrow. “Kid, you’re wobbling and look to be on the verge of falling. Are you sure you don’t want to sit down?”
You nodded and the conversation ceased. The conversation was dropped, but not Lin’s determination to get you to sit down.
You felt Lin’s hand wrap around your wrist and before you could react, he pulled you off your feet and towards him. You stumbled and squeaked before you stopped. You shut your eyes, waiting for the feeling of the dirty metal of the train floor but it didn’t come. You slowly opened your eyes and your face turned fifty shades of red. You realized your situation and your mind had shut down.
You were sitting on Lin’s lap.
His arms were secured around your waist, holding you at a small distance but close enough to pull you away if something happened. You were sitting sideways so your legs somewhat dangled over his because of you being shorter than him. Your feet kicked back and forth, the heel of your shoes grazing Lin’s jeans softly. You crossed your arms and glared at Lin half-heartedly, making him laugh and smile like he did nothing wrong.
The woman in the hijab noticed this and she giggled. “Your sister is very pretty, sir.” She said to Lin.
Lin looked at her and chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s not my sister, miss.” He answered with a soft smile.
The woman’s eyes widened slightly and she let out an embarrassed giggle. “I’m sorry. I assumed.”
Lin shook his head again. “No worries. Small mistakes are part of everyday life.”
The woman smiled softly. “What I mean to say was that your daughter was very pretty.”
Lin’s eyes widened in surprise and you had to hold back a laugh. He went to correct the woman but the trained stopped at the first stop and she got off, allowing you to move to the seat next to Lin. You started laughing as Lin glared lazily at you, crossing his arms and pouting like a child.
“I don’t look that old,” Lin muttered softly.
You shook your head. “Well, you pulled me onto your lap. It was either I was your kid or you were a pedophile. You’re lucky she called you my dad instead of the other option.”
Lin rolled his eyes and stared at you with a ‘you’re-killing-me-here’ look. The kind of look a father would give his kid if they were messing around with him. You never saw that loving but playfully annoyed look in your real father’s eyes. There was only hatred and evil in his eyes. You never wanted to see those eyes again.
“I don’t mind it, though, being honest with you,” Lin said.
“Don’t mind what?” You asked, your face hold a confused frown.
“People assuming I’m your dad. You’re a cool kid. I see a lot of younger me in you.” He softly smiled. “I don’t mind you seeing me as a father figure.”
“Lin, I literally met you this morning.” You rolled your eyes and chuckled. “I’d like to know you as a person before seeing you as a father figure.”
Lin chuckled, sitting back in his seat as the train came to a stop at the next stop. “You’re right.”
This is a part of the Small Thing to Two Giants series
Note: guys there are so few gifs of just Oak and Daveed it’s killing me. Anyway enjoy another part in this series. The dog’s name is Hercules, more for the greek mythological figure than for Hercules Mulligan because I like naming dogs after historical/mythological figures
“Babe we’re going out for a little bit” You say, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss Oak’s cheek.
He nods, giving you a small smile as Daveed leans in to kiss his other cheek.
“We won’t be long. Don’t have too much fun without us” Daveed says as both of you stand back up and head out the door.
“You really think this is going to cheer him up?” you ask as you make your way out of the apartment building.
Oak had been in a bad mood for days, hardly talking and sulking most of the time. No matter how many times the two of you had tried to get it out of him, he just wouldn’t budge. So Daveed suggested one thing that would probably be able to cheer him up.
“Of course it will, we both know how long he’s wanted this” he points out.
“Yeah you’re right” you say, slipping your hand into his as you make your way towards the pet shop.
You stretched when you came downstairs. You were wearing a simple night gown with a robe on since mornings here were a little chilly. You were wearing your fuzzy slippers and you hopped down the rest of the stairs. The boys looked up when they heard your feet padding against the smooth floors. They knew that sleepy little shuffle.
“Lin that’s an awful idea.” Chris groaned and I smiled from where I was standing behind them.
“No it’s not. Chris you just gotta seduce them with your knowledge about George Washington.”
“Chris is right.” I added and they spun around, nearly losing their balance.
“See, I told you.”
“Oh c'mon, Y/N wouldn’t you love it if someone approached you and just started sharing their obscure amount of knowledge about George Washington?”
“No, let it be on record that I don’t have a George Washington kink.” I replied and Chris lost it, nearly falling off the stage because of how hard he was laughing. Lin looked extremely flustered.
“I mean that isn’t what I was implying.”
“I know but if someone were to start off with random facts about him I would be more than a little confused.”
“Are you taking notes Chris?” Lin asked and I looked at Lin confused.
“Chris, my friend, please do not tell me that you were about to flirt with someone by telling them facts about George Washington.”
“Lin wanted me to.”
“Lin is probably trying to mess your chances up then.”
“Hey!” Lin said defensively and I rolled my eyes. “Why did you come over here anyway?”
“Because I just wanted to talk with my best friend, isn’t that enough?” I asked him and he smirked.
“I’ll leave you kids to it. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He told us and he walked away away after winking and nearly tripping.
“Nerd.” Chris said affectionately under his breath and I looked at him and smiled. He turned his head so he was looking at me again and he smiled a bit as well.
“So who were you planning on using your knowledge of George Washington on?”
“They must be if you’re willing to go to such lengths.”
“You have no idea.” He said, his smile growing a bit and he looked at me the same way he looked at Lin.
“This is Benny at the dispatch- yo!” I started singing before turning around and running into Chris.
“Were you singing Benny’s Dispatch?”
“No.” I denied immediately, more embarressed than anything because I just ran into the man who sung it first.
“I just heard you start singing it though- it sounded really good.”
“Please you sound amazing in it so I doubt that I could do it justice, had I been singing it.” I told him and he looked at me in disbelief.
“You’re kidding, right? Because you just sang seven words and I’m already in love.” He told me and he stiffened a bit before his face started turning red.
“Well for the record, I was in love the first time I heard you sing as well.” I told him, lightening the mood. He visibly relaxed and smiled again.
“We should sing it together one time.”
“Or just together in general.”
“It’s a date.”
“I guess it is.” I smiled nervously and he grabbed his phone and started playing it and we both sang along, his voice much louder than mine since he was obviously more comfortable with the song. Everytime we played it, I grew more confident and my voice became louder. He kept smiling everytime it did.
We glanced at each other at the same time, our smiles making it difficult to continue singing.
“It’s good to see your face.”
“It’s your last show today.” I told him and he smiled sadly.
“C'mon, have a drink with me, one last time.”
“God I’m gonna miss having you around. You know that, right?”
“Yeah. I’m going to miss you too, Y/N.”
“Promise to keep in touch with everyone?”
“Yeah, of course. I do have something I want to tell you before I leave though.”
“George Washington wrote close to twenty thousand letters and he had thirty dogs.”
“That’s interesting but why are you-”
“Finally listening to Lin.”
“Listening to Lin about-” I started before remembering about his plan to have Chris seduce someone with his knowledge about George Washington.
“I didn’t start off with it.” He pointed out and I laughed a bit.
“I mean for the record, out of all the ways people have asked me out this is definetly the weirdest.” I smiled and he grabbed my hands nervously.
“Yes.” I told him and his smile grew and we both momentarily forgot the fact that it was his last show. And that the show began in less than twenty minutes. That was until they announced it.
“Goddammit I’ve waited this long.” He mumbled and he kissed me.
Just as you had suspected, this was all Lafayette’s idea. Honestly, you should’ve expected that with how cryptic he was being before. He said that Alex and Philip can be very similar sometimes, he knew some shit like this would work of Alex and that meant it would probably work on Philip as well. Eliza was the second to know about and she let Alex in on it after Philip asked to bring Theodosia. Angie said she just had a feeling something was going on so she joined in. The weird part was that Jefferson wasn’t part of the plan at all. According to Laf, Thomas just wanted to piss off Hamilton, to say it worked would be an understatement.
“That magenta obsessed lunatic! He has the nerve to try and accuse you and then do something so vile? He would be wise to apologize to you for putting you through something so traumatic! That man better not ask me about you or I swear there will be hell to pay.” You told him that that wouldn’t happen but you were wrong. It totally did. You had to hear Alex rant for at least three hours about how disrespectful it is to ask a man about someone who was basically his daughter. Dadexander is back at it again, I see! You knew that this was all just an excuse to make Alex upset but you were honestly touched that he was so protective of you. Angie was probably the most excited.
“I am so happy for you! We already discussed that I am already the bridesmaid, my speech has already been written! Would you like to hear it?” You told her to slow her roll, but she always seemed to know something you didn’t. She was seventeen now and you were always amazed by how incredible she was. She was only a year younger than you were when you first came here, you felt very old all of a sudden just thinking about it. Ever since that night after the ball, you and Philip were inseparable. Eliza helped you learn how to dance properly; Philip was your partner. Alex asked you to help him write papers for him, Philip would sit beside you and make sure you didn’t try and write too fast. There was a moment when you had to bring tea to his room really late at night because he refused to sleep. No matter how many times he insisted that you go to bed, you refused.
“Sunshine, it isn’t fair for me to go to sleep and leave you awake and miserable. Either we both go to sleep and be happy or we both stay up and be cranky. The choice is yours!”
“Ugh! Why do you have to use your beautiful mind against me? Aren’t you supposed to love me or something?”
“I do love you, and that’s precisely why I have to stop you before you pass out and stain your pretty little face with ink.” You pouted.
“Are you trying to say I wouldn’t be pretty if I had ink on my face?” He teased.
“I like your freckles not to be covered in ink so yes. But don’t change the subject, you need to sleep.” He got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder.
“But I really have to finish this!” He groaned, you felt his hair scratch at your cheek and you giggled.
“No, you really need to sleep, love!” He nuzzled his face into your neck.
“If I go to sleep I can’t see your radiance. What’s a man to do?”
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” You quoted. “As long as your mind holds my image, your eyes will not need me.” That was enough to convince him to go to sleep, you kissed him goodnight and left. You always felt like you were floating after he kissed you, it was like a force of energy would wave over you.
Lafayette left a couple weeks later, you told him to keep in touch with you. You were glad to have made a new friend out of all that nonsense. Eliza had been slowly taking you off maid duties. She told you that it wasn’t intentional but you got the feeling it was. She would insist that you wear your casual dress more and more. Today was one of those days, however Philip invited you to go into town with him and Angie decided to tag along because she wanted to look for new petticoats. You’d never been out in public with Philip before so you were a bit nervous. Luckily that didn’t last long because as soon as the carriage pulled into the town and you got out with Philip on your arm, that feeling of anxiety melted away. There was a mix of indoor and outdoor shops, the sounds flowed around you. It was chilly outside but you didn’t mind, it was comfortable enough for you. For some you thought of the memory with your last night with Anna. How hot and sticky it was, how close to summer it was, how happy the two of you were. Onism. Philip pulled away from you.
“Would you mind going with Angie for a little bit? I have to go talk to a make an errand really quick.”
“An errand? Alright, I don’t mind. Just be back soon because I don’t want to leave you without a ride back.” You joked, he gave you a peck on the cheek and quickly left you with Angie. She giggled and wriggled her eyebrows.
“You two are simply adorable!” She squealed. “I wish you two would just get married already! I hate this waiting game!” You rolled your eyes.
“I’m sure you do Angie, I’m sure you do.”
“How much longer do you think he’s going to wait?”
“I-I don’t know! I haven’t exactly thought about it! Although, that’s not to say I wouldn’t be opposed to it…” You felt your face heat up, an interesting contrast to the cool air. You and Angie stopped in front of a table displaying various glass pieces. You felt an icy chill roll up your spine, the presence was back. What the hell? It’s happened outside before…
Seven. Three. Seven. Three. Seven.
Why are you doing this?
Help. Don’t run.
Don’t run? What does that mean? You felt something touch your arm, you flinched.
“Hey, TT! Are you alright? You spaced out there!” Angie said with concern. You shivered and shook away the ominous feeling painted against your back.
“Yes, I’m alright, just cold.” You chuckled. The two of you continued to look at the different shops for a while and it gave you time to think. Mrs. Y/N Hamilton… Angie was right, that does sound nice. We don’t have to rush anything; we don’t have to get married any time soon. I just wonder when, will it be a mutual decision, will it be spur of the moment, will it be carefully planned out? Ugh, I feel ridiculous. What am I, a soccer mom? Well, soccer isn’t really a thing here yet, I guess. Your thoughts were interrupted by Angie.
“Oh would you look at that, Philip finally decided to come back and join us!” Your mood instantly perked up as you searched the crowd. Philip was moving past everyone but he didn’t seem happy. To be more precise, he looked completely pissed. He approached the two of you and huffed an uneasy breath.
“Come on, we’re leaving.” What?
“But I haven’t found my petticoats yet!” Angie whined.
“We need to leave! We can come back tomorrow.” He sounded like he was in a rush.
“Philip, what’s going on? Are you okay?” You tried to ask.
“I’ll tell you when we get home, I promise. But we really need to go.” You and Angie followed him to the coach, his leg was bouncing the entire way to the estate. You tried to calm him down a to calm him down but he wasn’t acting like himself. He seemed distraught and antsy. When the carriage pulled into the yard he practically jumped out. As the three of you made it into the house, you asked him what was wrong again. This time he said that he had to talk with Alex first. You suggested that you make tea and that you’d join them, he agreed.
“Don’t say anything too important without me!” You tried to lighten his mood, he leaned forward and kissed your forehead before walking down the hall. You went into the kitchen and quickly prepared the tea, Eliza would kill you if she saw that you were working in your nice dress. You set the cups on a tray with everything else and made your way over to the study. You were about to knock on the door when you heard a passing conversation.
“Where is this happening?” Alex asked. Where’s what happening?
“Across the river in Jersey, everything is legal in New Jersey.” Philip explained. Has he ever been to Jersey?! Nothing is legal there!
“Alright, so this is what you’re going to do. Stand there like a man until Eacker is front of you. When the time comes, fire your weapon in the air. This will put an end to the whole affair.” What…
“But what if he decides to shoot? Then I’m a goner!”
“No, he’ll follow suit if he’s truly a man of honor. To take someone’s life, that is something you can’t shake. Philip, your mother can’t take another heartbreak.” Your hands were shaking, the tray quaking.
“Promise me, you don’t want this young man’s blood on your conscious!”
“Okay, I promise…”
“Come back home when you’re done, take my guns. Be smart, make me proud son.” The tray fell from your hands; glass, tea, cream and sugar spilled across the floor. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
“No!” You yelled as you busted through the door. Alex and Philip jumped in surprise, but Philip was immediately concerned. “You are not going!” You felt tears rolling down your cheeks and stepped over the broken tea set.
“Hey, hey, hey now! Calm down love.” Philip tried to soothe you.
“No! I’m not going to calm down! You are not going to that duel!” Philip laid his hands on your shoulders comfortingly.
“I have to, he disparaged my father’s legacy in front of a crowd. I can’t have that! And he tried to-” He tried to justify. Ellipsism. Your shoulders shook the opposite reason, you interrupted him.
“And I can’t lose you…not again, Philip… please just stay alive for me… Is that too much to ask?” You hiccupped. I just got him back, he is not leaving me again! Philip pulled you into his arms, you buried your face into his chest. “Please don’t go… I love you… The sun has to come out tomorrow….” You clutched onto him, you hated feeling weak but at this point you didn’t care. If showing yourself in a ‘weak’ state was enough to make him stay than you held no qualms. You didn’t care what happened, what would change because of this. You just knew that you needed him to stay.
“Okay, Okay, it’s going to be okay Star! Please stop crying…” You shook your head. Alex stood up from his seat and made his way over to the two of you.
“Titania, I assure you, everything will be alright. You must try and calm down, we don’t want you to have another fit.”
“I won’t go, just please don’t make yourself sick!” You calmed down a little bit after hearing him say that. He pulled you away and gave you his handkerchief, he tried to help you wipe away your tears with his hands. “Come on now, where’s my sparkle at?” He smiled. You couldn’t stop yourself from cracking a grin. He always knows what to do to make me smile… He told you to grab your Midsummer Night’s Dream book and come back so that you could read a little bit together. You did so and the two of you spent most of the day picking out different parts of the play that stood out to you. You all had dinner together and as the sun set, everyone began to retire for the evening. Now you stood in front of the door to your room, holding Philip’s hand.
“Remember, you promised Angie another trip into town, I’m going to hold you to that!”
“I will, I will! I’m a man of my word after all!” The huge grin on his face changed to a nervous smile. “Um, after breakfast tomorrow, would you mind meeting me in the garden? There’s… something that I…need to ask you. It’s pretty important so…” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
“Of course! I uh, I mean sure, that sounds fine. I’ll see you there.” You tried desperately to keep your cool. He looked down at you with soft eyes and caressed your cheek.
“I love you so, so, so much. I love you more than anything else. You are my fallen star and I would do anything for you, you know that right?” He asked, very seriously.
“Of course I do, Philip. I couldn’t forget that even if I wanted to. You’re the only sunshine that matters to me…” He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips into yours. Yours seemed to fit perfectly with his and the feeling of being stopped in time never changed. He pulled away slightly and you slowly opened your eyes.
“Good… it’s just nice to hear that every once in a while.” He grinned. You are such a cheeseball!
“Well, I’m will to tell you that any time!” You chuckled.
“You’re adorable… I’ll see you in morning, my starlight. I hope you have sweet dreams.” He gave your hand one last squeeze before letting go and making his way down the hall and out of your sights. You went inside your room and closed the door behind you. You ran over to your bed, slammed your head into the pillow and legit screamed. You rolled over and tried to stop smiling, you couldn’t. Philip Hamilton has a very important question to ask me. And he has to ask it in the place where we gave each other our nicknames and shared our first kiss… I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE! I feel like the only person who could be happier than me about this is Angie! You suddenly felt exhausted. I am emotionally drained… You tried to get up so that you could change your clothes but your body wouldn’t move. What the fuck…? You were paralyzed, your eyes began to shut. Your sight was filled with blackness, there was nothing. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t see, all you could do was hear.
Those words echoed in your mind, over and over and over again. Your eyes shot open but it was dark, you were able to roll out of bed and managed to light the candle on your desk. How long have I been asleep? You looked around and noticed something strange. There was folded up piece of paper laying on the floor. You picked it up and saw ‘My Star’ written on the front. What’s this? You opened it up and began to read its contents.
My dearest Starlight,
I write this letter to you with a heavy heart. I could not keep my word to you. As the eldest son, it is my responsibility to shoulder the legacy of my father. Mr. Eacker has sullied the name of not only my family but of you as well. My honor prevents me from backing down against this man’s words, I shall meet him at dawn. If you are reading this, it means that I have not survived the duel. I pray that these letters never meet your beautiful eyes, so that I may see them when the morning comes. I shall not let a tear stray from my eye, I must be strong, if not more myself than for you. Please, take care of my family. They will need you if I am gone. Do not, for a single moment believe that this could be in anyway your fault. My death will be on my hands, no one else’s. It is odd, in the time I need to use my talent in writing the most, I cannot find my words. How does one say goodbye to the person they barely got a chance to be with? My love, it is impossible. What am I to say to you? This letter will have to be short, or else it will be one hundred pages long. I will wait for you, as the world changes and grows so will you. I’ll wait as long as it takes to see your face again. I will bleed and fight for you. If you do read this, do not become stuck on me. Move on, be happy, live your life to the absolute fullest because my love for you will never die, even if I myself do. I will watch over you from the heavens, you shall never be alone. My love, my star, my everything, take your time. I shall see you, one day, on the other side.
With love, P. Ham, your sunshine
You let the page fall from your hands and flutter to the floor. Dawn… It’s not dawn yet! You ran out of the room, through the hall, into the main room and out the door. You were frantic, you didn’t think about anything you were doing, just moving. Philip, don’t you dare do this to me! You rushed over to the stables and hurriedly led one of the horses out. Sorry to meet you like this old friend… No time for saddles today! You hoisted yourself over and onto the horses back, clutching onto her mane. Sorry if this hurts old girl. You gave her a little kick to the side and she took off, you held on tight to make sure you wouldn’t fall over. You rode into town and saw a few people waking up to prepare for the day, how could everything be so calm? You remembered the path down to the Hudson from the time you and Eliza decided to go for a stroll there. You looked around and saw the sky changing from its deep blue, it was slowly lightening and various other colors peeked from the horizon. The sun’s not up yet, I still have time! You made it to the edge of the river and hopped off the horse. There was a man on a small boat pulling into the dock.
“Excuse me sir! Did you just let a group of men across?” You asked him, completely out of breath. He looked at you incredulously.
“Yes, ma’am. They just rode in not too long ago.”
“Can you take me across? Please!” You begged.
“I can, but aren’t you worried about your horse?” He asked, you ran over to boat and jumped in, it shook under the pressure.
“There’s no time for that! Please!” You reinforced. As he began to paddle the boat across you asked him. “Where did they go?”
“Near Weehawken, ma’am. Crazy fools are looking for a fight, plain as day.” This was the first time you had a chance to process what was happening. I’m coming Philip, don’t do anything crazy! You were starting to feel the weight of guilt. He just had to do this! Why couldn’t I stop him? Was it not enough? Will he never be satisfied? The boat hit the other side and your hurried off, giving the man a pressed thank you. The ground was muddy from the river but the further out you went, the drier it became. The lines in the sky were becoming more and more orange. Tears burnt your eyes as you felt your legs get weaker. I can’t stop! Keep going, damn it! You heard something faint in the distance.
The number of years after I realized I loved you. You forced yourself to keep going.
The number of baby’s breath you gave me on our night in the garden. You thought you could see them.
The number of times I had to betray you. You stumbled a bit but kept running.
The years that we’ve been together. You could see him, he raised his gun in the air.
The amount of flowers that were in my hair when you first kissed me and told me you loved me. You saw them marching away from each other, you changed your direction slightly. Left
The number of Hamilton children who love me. You were only a few feet away from him, he saw you. Your body shot against his.
Right now. Bang.
There was a moment, a single moment where everything felt alright. Time had no control over you. History has its eyes on you, and yet you controlled it at the same time. You hugged Philip’s side as the two of you fell. That moment however, was only a moment. And that’s all it took. You felt a shot of pain come from the right side of your forehead. It was excruciating. You landed on the ground, Philip underneath you. Your head banged against his ribcage, something wet rolled down your face and seeped into your right eye. Blood. You felt yourself be moved and Philip was hovering over you. His eyes were filled a mix of terror and denial.
“S-s-star…? Y-you…you’re…” His breathing was heavy and erratic.
“I…made a pretty big entrance…huh?” You tried to laugh but the pain was too much.
“Doctor! Don’t just stand there, help her!” He yelled out, his eyes were glistening. Another man appeared your side and he examined you for a moment.
“This is very serious; we need to get her out her right now! Is there anywhere we can take her that’s close by?” He asked.
“My aunt’s house, it’s just at the edge of city! Ride in the carriage with me and fix her, please!” You sound so overcome…I don’t like that. Philip lifted you up into his arms and ran, your eyes fluttered open and shut. Before you knew it, you were in a carriage, Philip carefully shaking your shoulders. “Don’t fall asleep, my love. How can I see your radiance when you’re asleep? Keep your eyes open for me, don’t stop looking at me. Don’t look at the doctor, just pay attention to me, okay?” You felt something touch the side of your head. Then the musket in your head, the one embedded in your skull, was ripped out. You screamed, you never thought a person could experience something so agonizing. Philip squeezed your hand tightly to try and get your attention. “Shh, I know, I know! I know it hurts, love. But it’s going to be okay! Save your strength, you’ll stay alive!” You reached your trembling hand up and caressed his cheek. A few tears hit the edge of your palm.
“You’re right… So, d-don’t cry, sunny. I’m going to be… just fine…” You felt a cloth hit the gaping hole in your head you winced. The carriage stopped and before you knew it, you were being carried inside a large house. A familiar female voice was asking Philip questions; of which he didn’t know how to answer.
“Go inform Alexander and my sister!” You heard someone run out and shut the door. “Bring her in here, Philip!” He held you close as he rushed into a different room, the only thing you could notice about it were the large windows. The sun was rising, the light filling the room. You were laid onto some sort of sofa, but Philip didn’t leave your side or let go of your hand.
“The doctor is going to clean your wound now; it’s probably going to hurt like hell. But you can handle it! I know you can!” The cloth was peeled off your blood clotted skin, something wet was poured onto your injury. It burned. You bit your lip to stifle another screech. Philip kissed your knuckle. “See? I knew you could handle it!”
“Yes, my star?”
“I know I’m going to be fine and all…but it would really help me feel better if we talked for a little bit.”
“Of course, what would you like to discuss?”
“You said that… you wanted to ask me something in the garden… What was it?” You asked breathlessly.
“My plan was to…ask for your hand in marriage. I was going to the ring in the patch of baby’s breath that grows every spring…” He chuckled sadly.
“That…sounds perfect… I feel like the wedding will be beautiful… Angie already declared herself Maid of Honor…” Your breathing was starting to become shallow. “Can you tell me… what happens after that?”
“We’ll get a place in the city, because I know you love the energy there. We’ll start rallies to abolish slavery, our generation will be the one to do it. But we won’t stop there, we won’t stop until everyone is free, all women, immigrants and those like my sister in the likes. It’ll be hard but we’ll always come out on top. Because nothing in this world is stronger than us…” He smiled wistfully. His smile is so perfect…
“I’m glad that… at least one of us had a plan…”
“Has!” He corrected, you nodded.
“Right, silly me. Has.” He took a moment to look at you, he fell apart in front of your eyes.
“This is all my fault! I should have listened to you! If I had, then you’d… then you’d be… I’m so sorry!” You him by the cravat and pulled him in close with all the strength you had in your body. You kissed his cheek, wishing you could do and say more.
“This isn’t your fault, if any one should be sorry it’s me. I’m sorry for not always being there for you, even if I wanted to. I’m so sorry for every time I’ve ever lied to you. I’m sorry for not loving you for as long as I wanted to. Philip, I’m sorry but I couldn’t let you die before me. I did this and I don’t regret it. I’m not sorry for doing this.” You said with a dark tone, he sighed.
“I…don’t know what I’m going to do without you…”
“Live.” His eyes widened. “You’re going to do all those things you said you’d do with me. Even if I’m not there with you. You’re going to live and grow and be happy! This isn’t some Shakespearian tale, we aren’t Romeo and Juliet or Pyramus and Thisbe. Our love didn’t come from some love at first sight encounter. We were friends, we cared about each other, we got mad at one another but that’s what made it real! We grew together and you’re going to keep growing without me. Because you know that’s what I’d want…” It was getting harder to talk but you refused to give up your chance. The doctor took another look at your head, he couldn’t seem to find a way to fix it. You could read his face and you were satisfied with that. You heard footsteps getting louder and louder, a door busted open.
“Come in Mr. Hamilton.” The doctor instructed. You saw faces appear by your side. Alex, Eliza, Angie, AJ, Jamie, Johnny, Willy and Lizzy. Your family was here.
“Philip…what happened?” Alex asked with fear.
“I did exactly as you said Pop…I held my head up high… But even before we got to ten…she was pushing me aside…” Alex looked over at the doctor and he was given the same look you were.
“Is she going to survive this? Who did this? Alexander do you know?” Eliza’s voice was going by a mile a minute. All of this sounded familiar. Your eyesight was fazing in an out, like a camera trying to keep itself in focus.
“I want to say…so many things…But I don’t think I have the strength to… In my room, under my pillow, you’ll find some things that will tell you what I can’t…”
“TT…you’re greatest big sister I could ever hope to have…” Angie sniffled.
“Eliza…” You whispered.
“Do you remember… how you counted on my first day with you…and the round that we made the warmup?” She nodded. “Could you…and all the children…sing that for me? I think…it would help me feel a little calmer…”
“Of course, dear! Anything for one of my girls!” Her voice cracked. She looked at all the children, they were in tears but were being very brave. I’m so proud of them… You looked at Philip, asking for him to sing for you.
“Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq…” Eliza and all the younger children started, Philip remembered what to do.
“Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf…” He sang to you softly.
“Good…” Your eyes felt heavy.
“Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq…” So tired….
“Un…” You stopped him.
“I love you…” Was the last thing you were able to say.
So, I’ve gone over this twice and added some formatting and all that, so it’s better than when I first posted it! Still happy birthday to @sweaterkitty-fluff and still for @hamwriters write-a-thon day 3! Now I’m on track and my worldwide day will be posted later on! I’ll probably add onto this later, doing more years, so don’t think this is the end to my Harry Potter!Verse madness.
Warnings: My shitty knowledge of Harry Potter after all these years, blood mention, suicide mention, Slytherin!Lin and Hufflepuff!Reader.
“Don’t test me, Ramos! You know I can do it!” A voice shouts, startling you, drawing your attention from your book to the commotion. This was a library- were they trying to get point drawn from their house? Hopefully it wasn’t Hufflepuff. You guys finally had a shot at winning house cup.
“I’m not testing you. And dammit, Lin, quiet down- we’re in the library!” Another voice whisper-shouts back, the sound of one slapping the other echoing off the walls. They both laughed and walked towards you, not realizing it, most likely going to the potions section to study for the oh-so-impossible class. You brush off the familiarity of the name and pick up your quill again, continuing to read the textbook then take notes. The two boys, who you barely caught a glimpse of, walk past the table you’re sitting at, indeed going to the potions section. One was covered in freckles and had dark curly hair framing his face, while the other had a clear, rather pale face with his dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. You feel as if you’d met the pair before, but it is quickly confirmed that you have.
“Why are you here?” You asked rather coldly, shooting a poor excuse for a glare at your father.
“Ms. (L/N), there is no need to be hostile.” Said the female officer sitting on the bed. “Your father here filed you as a runaway youth and we are here to take you home.”
“But,” The male officer interrupted his partner. “Mr. Miranda here claims that your father is abusing you. We just need to clear this discrepancy up and get you to where you need to be.”
“This is an outrage!” Your father exclaimed, making you flinch and scoot closer to Lin. “(Y/N), tell these officers I don’t and will never lay an unlawful hand on you. This man,” He pointed an accusing finger at Lin. “He kidnapped my daughter and refused to let her go. You officers should be questioning and arresting him!”
“Mr. (L/N), please,” Lin said, rolling his eyes and squeezing your shoulder in comfort. “This isn’t about you. This is about the well-being of your daughter. Now let (Y/N) say what she needs to say.”
If looks could kill, your father would have put Lin six-feet under the moment his fiery glare made contact with the younger male’s skin. You had never seen your father’s fury targeted at anyone besides yourself. But, he wasn’t throwing punches yet. You were almost certain your dad was going to beat Lin into a pulp and then drag you to that hell house to finish you off. You didn’t want Lin to get hurt because he was the nicest and most caring person you’ve met in a very long time. Anyone else would leave you out in the cold and not spare you a second glance. You were so grateful for Lin’s kindness and you owed him.
“Thank you, Mr. Miranda.” The male officer said before turning to you. “Go ahead and talk, (Y/N). We won’t interrupt you.”
You took a big gulp of air, and took Lin’s hand off of your shoulder and held it tightly, your body shaking with anxiety. Lin squeezed your hand in comfort and reassurance. Then, you spoke.
“My dad is abusive. He hits me, he cuts me, he throws me against the wall and doors. He calls me a whore, a bitch, and a mistake. He’s the reason my sister killed herself. He raped her and gave her an STD.” Your voice rose as you spoke and tears began to form in your eyes. “He doesn’t feed me. He doesn’t let me bathe properly. He hoses me down in the backyard like an animal! He won’t take me to the doctor when I’m hurt or sick. I can’t leave the house or else he’ll whip me with his belt. The only times I leave the house is when I go to school or he’s fucking some whore!”
“There’s no need for that language, Ms. (L/N).” The female officer said. You didn’t realize both officers took out pads or paper and were writing down what you were saying. You mumbled an apology and continued to speak.
“He drinks and does drugs. He tried to touch me sexually but I bit him. One time, I broke my leg because I jumped from the broken window when he was beating me. That was the only time he took me to the hospital. I don’t want to go back there. I’ll die if you make me go back there. I ran away because I couldn’t stay there. I was and still am sick. Ask Lin, he’ll tell you!”
The officers look at Lin with expectant looks. He placed his free hand on your forehead and nodded.
“I found her unconscious on my doorstep last night,” Lin explained. “She has a high fever, fatigue, a stomach bug, and she can’t walk straight without some assistance. I gave her some soup and a couple tablets. The fever went down but it’s still there.”
The officers nodded. The female officer stood up and tucked her pad into her belt. “Do you have any evidence of this abuse claim?” She asked.
You practically tore off your tank top, revealing all the scars and cuts on your arms and collarbone. You rolled up your undershirt halfway, revealing your abdomen and back, both littered in more cuts and scars. You rolled up your pant legs too, revealing your scarred and bruised calves.
“Thank you, Ms. (L/N).” The male offer said. You rolled down your undershirt and pant legs before pulling your shirt back on.
“That’s all the evidence we need.” The female officer said, walking over to your father, who was slack-jawed and in shock. “Mr. (L/N), you are arrested for child abuse.” She started to handcuff your father when he snapped out of his trance, glaring angrily at you.
“You are dead, you little bitch!” He screamed, struggling to get out of the handcuffs. “You and your little savior here. You’re both dead!”
Both of the officers fought with your dad, forcing him out of the apartment. The female officer came back some time later.
“He’s gonna be in custody as we’re scheduling a court date.” She explained. “I can drive you home and you can get your stuff if you’d like.”
You nodded, tears streaming down your face. It was like a huge weight had been taken off of your shoulders. You were free. You didn’t have to go back to that hell house ever again. You just wished your sister was alive to be free with you. You were going to be home with your mom and live happily ever after.
But, you’d never see Lin again.
You only ‘knew’ Lin for a few hours but he helped you. He took care of you and helped you get away from your father. He looked after you when he didn’t have to. He was nice, caring, and selfless. Like the father you never had.
“Wait,” You said. “Is there any way I can stay here?”
The officer shook her head, a sad smile on her face. “Unless he’s a family member, you can’t stay here. Is there any family in New York that can take you in?”
You nodded. “My mom. She lived up in Albany.”
The officer took out her radio from its holder. “We’ll give her a call and see if you can be taken to her as soon as possible.” She stepped out of the room, talking into it with police radio jargon you didn’t understand.
You turned around to took at Lin, who had a deflated look in his eyes but a smile on his face. You then realized you were still holding his hand in a tight grip. You let go and stuffed your hands in your pockets.
“Thank you, Lin.” You said, wiping your tears away. “I mean it. Thank you so so much for helping me get away from him. I owe you big time.”
Lin chuckled and shook his head. “You owe me nothing, (Y/N). Any decent human being would’ve done the same.”
You coughed into your fist. “I honestly don’t want to leave, though.” You said, rubbing the back of your neck. “You’re the kindest person I’ve met in a long time and I actually want to stay a little longer. Just until this fever goes away.”
Lin nodded. “And my musical is premiering next Saturday. Is that your birthday?” You nodded. “Thought so. I wanted to take you since you’ve been through so much. Have some fun before you’re put into your mom’s custody and move away.”
You nodded in agreement. You grew up in New York City. You had friends in New York City. You wanted to stay in New York City. But your mom made it loud and clear years ago that she’ll never live in New York City again. If you live with your mother, you’ll be in the capital but will have to go through the ‘new girl’ cycle at school and you had social anxiety. You had to do something to stall your moving plans.
The officer walked back in. She put her radio back into its holster before she spoke. “Your mother won’t be able to take you in for about three months because she is on a business trip in the Carribean.” She explained. “So, you can stay here until she get’s back in the city.”
You let out a squeal of happiness. You were bouncing joyfully as you smiled at Lin, who was grinning like it was Christmas. You thanked the officer over and over, giving her a hug, which she happily returned.
“Let’s get your stuff, okay?” The officer offered. You nodded and followed her out of the apartment.
You were still in disbelief. You had been in hell for the past six years. You were treated like dirt from the person who was supposed to love and protect you. You thought you were going to die at your father’s hands. But, then God blessed you with the guardian angel that was Lin-Manuel Miranda. You were going to be able to get better and be in a better place. All you need is to get rid of this fever and wrap up all these scars and cuts.
One Day I’ll Say I Love You- James Madison X Reader
request from @martapetrovic :
So a request??? Spy!reader x lafayette ORR jmads x reader (cause theres not much jemmy out there amirit?? Smut??? You dont have too if you dont want you still like your work) oR A SOULMATE AU WITJ JAMES IDK choose if you like any of my suggestions ok i luv u byyeee
You weren’t sure what you were expecting. But this certainly wasn’t it. Philip walked into the room. His hair was longer, his shoulders broader and he even seemed to be a little taller. Everyone rushed over to him. Eliza and Lizzy obviously getting the most attention. You just stood there, a few feet away, staring up at him. When you looked back and remembered him, he was always cute, but not now. His cheeks weren’t as round as they used to be, his eyes seemed older than he was. He was handsome. He finally looked at you, you couldn’t read what you saw in his eyes but something flashed there. It was like a flare, there for one minute and faded out the next. He gave you a closed mouth smile. ‘Philly, fake smiles don’t look good on you. Your natural smile fits you better.’
“Hello, Y/N. How are you?” He asked with ennui. You were blown away, there was no color in his voice when he spoke to you. Where’d my ‘Autumn Rhythms’ go? You blinked away your astonishment.
“I-I’m…fine.” You tried to swallow your fears but you ended up choking on it. He walked right past you, your greatest fear had been realized. He didn’t look back at you; you were just another face. You felt that presence again and you wanted to feel angry at it. But you couldn’t. It swaddled you and held you, it felt smaller than you and yet at the same time it felt like the biggest thing in the world. He went up the stairs, you heard his footsteps, you heard his door close, you’re always listening. Always hearing, always feeling, always seeing, always experiencing. Helpless… I have been made helpless to you, I stand here and think to myself ‘Shall I ever be satisfied?’ I wonder if I was ever enough in my sentences, but am I paranoid in every paragraph of how he perceives me? Am I running out of time? Is this where it gets me? I wait for it, wait for him. He says no to this because why shouldn’t he? I wasn’t around, I swore that I would be around for him. His eyes were on me, but my story is told. Wait for him, wait for him, wait for him, wait for him, wait for him, wait for him, wait for him. Satisfied, satisfied, satisfied, satisfied, satisfied, satisfied, satisfied. Helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless. Am I the madman or the lover? For he is certainly the poet. Where has my soul fled to? Tongue, lose thy light. Tongue, not a word. Thus Thisbe ends. You felt something shaking your shoulder.
“TT! Hey! What’s wrong?” Angie called out to you. You blinked a few times and took a sharp breath. Your face felt wet.
“N-Nothing.” You heaved. Angie looked straight ahead at you.
“Are you sure? You’re crying and sweating and… Oh God is that blood?” Her eyes widened. You touched your nose with a shaking hand, a red droplet rolled down your fingers. ‘How are you?’
“I said I’m fine.” You rushed out of the room, dashing into your own and shutting the door behind you. You took the chair from your desk and propped it against the handle. You undid the back of your dress and let it fall to the floor. You looked up and at the window by your desk. You saw yourself staring back at you. You saw the unnatural dip of your waist from the corset. You loosened it. You saw your eyes, no sparkle. You pulled the ribbon out of your hair. You saw the blood leaking from your nostrils, it dripped onto the arms that hugged your chest. You didn’t wipe it away. This is who I really am… Then it was cold, it crawled up your back. That presence was strong, it always made it’s clear when you were vulnerable.
“Stop. Go back.” It whispered into your connective tissue, the vibrations echoed through the blood in your veins and dispersed through your nose as you took a breath.
“What are you?” You asked to freezing air.
“Home. Go home.” It muttered.
“What even is home anymore? I think I lost it on the way here…”
“Rise. Phoenix will come. Reborn once more. For you have commanded it.” Then it was gone, no trace, no presence, no watching. You fell onto your bed and curled up into a ball. You grabbed your head cloth off your desk and wiped you nose.
I’m fine. I can handle this. Don’t freak out.
The next day, Philip went out, he stayed out for most of the day. When he came back, he said hello to you, in that same voice. He would talk with the others and then go up to his room. This happened again the next day, and the next day, and the next, and the next. It was frustrating, he was completely ignoring you and you weren’t the only one who noticed. Every time you two were in the same room together, all eyes would be on you and once he left, they’d stay on you. Even AJ tried to stay next to you when you were together, he wanted to try and comfort you and that broke your heart. Angie said she tried to confront him at one point but he kept evading the question. Angie, Johnny, Willy and Lizzy’s birthday passed, Christmas passed, his birthday passed, nothing. This waiting game was killing you. Alex and Eliza tried to comfort you, they were worried about Philip as well. It didn’t help that the smell perfume would fill the room whenever he’d walk in. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted to tell him everything and you tried. He would shoot you down every time, not quite letting you finish. “Sorry, I’ve got a paper to write.” “I apologize; I have to meet my friend soon.” You wondered what happened, what made him have a distaste for you. Why couldn’t he look at you the way he did before? Or call you his starlight? Just one more time… Then you heard a knock at the door.
You straightened out your skirt and approached the door. You smiled politely as you opened it up.
“Welcome to the Hamilton estate, is there any way that I may assist you today?”
“Excuse me, Miss. I am here to see a dear friend of mine. Is Alexander here?” There was something about the way this man spoke that made you curious. You looked up at him, he was tall, had warm, sepia colored skin paired with dark facial hair and tight curls pulled back into a ponytail. His suit was a deep blue and he stood tall, he had fantastic posture.
“Um, yes, he is here. May I have your name, sir?” You asked.
“Ah, yes, forgive my rudeness. I have not been America for quite some time. Alexander knows me by Lafayette.” I KNEW HE SOUNDED A LITTLE FRENCH! TEN POINTS FOR ME!
“Oh! No, no! Nothing to worry about! Please come in!” You smiled wide and opened the door up for him, once he was inside you shut it behind him. “Does Alex know you’re coming?”
“Yes, he is aware, don’t worry. He said that it would be a good surprise for the children!” He said proudly.
“Well, I’ll take you to his stu-“ A loud, booming voice interrupted your sentence.
“I thought I recognized that French voice from somewhere!” Of course, it’s always Alex!
“Monsieur Hamilton!” Lafayette shouted.
“Monsieur Lafayette!” They both made their ways over to each other and initiated in the bro hug that you remembered so clearly. Seriously, I won’t get an explanation for that will I? Alex went over to the stairs and called for the children. It wasn’t long before a small army of Hamiltons came running down the steps to hug Lafayette.
“Uncle Laf! Uncle Laf!” Angie cried as she ran over to hug the tall man.
“Goodness! You have gotten so big, ma petite ange! I haven’t seen you since you were une tout petite fauteuse de troubles!” He laughed, he noticed her hair. “New style? It suits you.” Angie seemed relieved by the compliment. Philip came down and you tried to look nonchalant. “Ah, the boy of the hour! Glad to see that you are well, Philip. You never did get back to me about that package I sent you.”
“Actually, Angelica took it from me and refuses to give it back.” Philip scolded.
“Don’t blame me for looking better in it!” She scoffed.
The next few days were like this, everyone was excited about having Lafayette in the house. It gave everyone a bit more energy, everyone except you that is. You sat in the main room, your Midsummer Night’s dream in hand. You didn’t look at the pages, just stared out at your own reflection in the grand windows, and then you saw another face in the glass. You turned to find Lafayette kneeling down beside your chair.
“Miss Y/N, you seem out of sorts. Is something the matter?” He asked with a mix of concern and intrigue. You tried to brush it off, make it seem unimportant.
“No, I’m alright. Nothing to worry about.” He sighed at your answer.
“Let me tell you something, Miss Y/N. Back during the war, I was the mediator of my group. I’m good at knowing when someone is lying and I do not wish to, how you say, toot my own horn but I would say that I’m a fairly good listener. Now, is something the matter?” You couldn’t but feel like you needed to tell someone about how you were feeling. As much as you loved the others, they would be more conflicted. Lafayette was probably the closest thing to a third party that you were going to get. So, you told him everything you could. You told him about your feelings for Philip, how he drifted away, all of your fears about the situation, how horrible of a person you started to believe yourself to be. He just sat there and listened, only stopping you a few times to ask a question. You felt a little better afterwards, it was surprising how much of a relief it was to just get it out into words for someone else to hear instead of writing it away to fester. He took a deep breath.
“Got any advice for that?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood, he stood up.
“We’ll see.” He said simply before turning and leaving you at the window. What…What does that even mean?
A few days later, you were serving tea to Eliza and Alex when Philip strolled into the parlor.
“Mom, Pops, I have a question.” That was another one of his new things, calling Alex and Eliza that. They still didn’t seem used to it.
“What is it, my son?” Alex asked before taking a sip of tea.
“There’s a ball at the end of this month. I would like to go to it and I would like to bring someone with me.” He stated.
“Oh? Who would you like to bring?” Eliza asked sweetly.
Ever since you showed up in Washington Heights, you always felt drawn to the Dominican that ran the corner store. It was something about his open-chest shirt, cropped hair, and worn out golfer’s hat that made you feel the urge to go up and greet him every morning on your way to work. You worked at the salon not that far from the corner store and its attractive owner. Daniela, your boss who was also your aunt, told you his name was Usnavi and he had as much flirtation skills as a rock. He ran that bodega alongside his younger cousin Sonny and they were known by and knew almost everyone in Washington Heights. You thought he was cute and funny. He seemed really nice and made you feel comfortable. This was probably why you spent more time in the bodega than in your aunt’s salon.
This was probably why you fell in love with him too.
The last thing you wanted was to fall in love with someone you couldn’t have. The day you realized you were in love with Usnavi, he announced that he and Vanessa were getting married. To say you were shocked would be an understatement. You felt a physical throbbing pain in your chest and you had to step out of the room to keep yourself from fainting. You didn’t realize your aunt was leading you out of the apartment complex until she snapped her manicured fingers in front of your face, which snapped you out of your shock.
“Sobrina,” Daniela says loudly. “Are you alright? You froze up like a statue when Usnavi said he and Vanessa were getting casado.”
You said nothing. You then fell to your knees as tears spilled down your face, incoherent murmurs and sobs leaving your lips. Daniela sat down beside you and held you tightly, running a hand through your curled locks while softly cooing in Spanish. You stayed that way for a few minutes before standing up and walking home. You spent the rest of the night in bed and some of the next morning before you remembered you had to work. You let Daniela do your hair and makeup, which made her concerned since you never let anyone else do something you did yourself every day since you were fourteen. She was also confused as to why you were a crying mess last night. The moment Usnavi announced his engagement, you were fighting to get out of the apartment and sobbing your heart out on the sidewalk. It wasn’t like you were in love with Usnavi, right? You couldn’t be. You never let yourself fall that hard. So why Usnavi?
You didn’t speak to Usnavi since that announcement. You took on more and later shifts so that you couldn’t see Usnavi or Vanessa. You weren’t that close to Vanessa so it didn’t hurt you that much. You even started spending more time out of Washington Heights altogether, visiting your parents in Manhattan more than usual. You just had to get out of the neighborhood. You’d stay a few days out of the week with your parents and even started getting calls from friends from Washington Heights. First, they were from Nina and Carla, but then they escalated to also Benny, Sonny, Abuela Claudia, Daniela, Vanessa, and even Nina’s parents. The only person who didn’t call or contact you was Usnavi.
‘Probably too busy with planning the wedding.’ You thought some days.
You stopped avoiding Washington Heights when you realized that you used up all of your paid vacation days for the year. If you took any more time off, you weren’t getting paid. So, you collected yourself and your items and went back home. The only people who noticed your return was Abuela Claudia, Daniela, Carla, and Nina. You didn’t bother changing when you grabbed your purse and went to work.
When you arrived at your aunt’s salon that hot summer Friday, you were almost shocked to see Vanessa there until you remembered she worked there too.
But, someone else was there. Someone who didn’t belong.
Usnavi de la fucking Vega.
You stood frozen for a moment before trying to race quietly to the back room before Usnavi realized you were there.
“Oh! (Y/N)!” Usnavi called you out, making most of the employees and customers turn and look at you, whispering and looking at you with pity.
You flinched when your name left his lips. You resented that sound now. He chose another woman. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t want you, (Y/N).
“Not now, Usnavi.” You responded, not even turning around to face him. “I have work to do.”
“At least stay to hear the announcement,” Usnavi said, almost begging.
“I already heard.” You said coldly, turning to face him finally, but the face he saw wasn’t the smiling bubbly young woman, but a hollow and cold version of her.
“So you already know I’m moving out of Washington Heights after the wedding?” Usnavi asked, suddenly uncomfortable and confused under your cold and harsh stare.
Your eyes widened and a look of confusion and disbelief covered your angry face. “Excuse me?”
Usnavi slowly nodded, taking Vanessa’s hand in his. “Yeah, ‘Nessa and I are moving to Manhattan. I’m leaving the store to Sonny and Pete. Maybe you can work there too-”
“You can’t go.” You cut him off with a soft whimper. You stared sadly at the floor in front of you.
Usnavi frowned. “Can you speak up, (Y/N)? I can’t hear-”
“Haven’t you hurt me enough already?!” You practically screamed, catching everyone off guard and silencing the room. “First, you make me fall in love with you, then you get engaged to a girl who basically never looked at you until you showed her a huge diamond ring, and now you’re moving away and I’ll never see you again? What the actual hell, Usnavi?!”
Usnavi just stared at you in disbelief, slowly blinking. You were in love with him?
“Do you have any to say?” You choked out, tears freely falling down your face. “Anything at all before I turn and walk out of your life before you walk out of mine?”
Usnavi let go of Vanessa’s hand and tried to reach out to you, but you took a few steps backward.
“Why didn’t you tell me. (Y/N)?” Usnavi asked softly.
You glared at him. “I was going to the night you got engaged. I wanted to tell you before you went off and made a move on Vanessa but it seemed I was too late.”
“Is this why you left Washington Heights?”
“How would you feel if you were in love with someone and they were getting married and you couldn’t avoid them because you see them every day of your life? I had to get out of the neighborhood so you couldn’t break my heart any more than you already did.”
You then chuckled and crossed your arms, fixing your gaze on the TV in the corner, playing a Spanish drama on a low volume.
“It’s nice to know you never acknowledged my absence enough to even text me to ask if I was okay. Some friend you are Usnavi.”
“(Y/N), I have a store to run. And Vanessa-”
“You have time for a girl who’s only marrying you for the ring and not enough for your friend?” You snapped, glaring daggers into Usnavi’s body.
Usnavi frowned. “Vanessa’s not a gold digger. She is a human being who actually cares about me and loves me like I love her.”
“Open your eyes, Usnavi.” You scoffed. “She treats you like any other guy she knows until you start throwing your money around.”
“(Y/N) (L/N)!” Your aunt yelled sternly, stomping over to you and tugging on your ear like you were a child. “That is enough. You are going to leave and not come back until you calm down and stop talking nonsense, comprendo?”
“No buts, (Y/N).” Daniela barked, letting go of your ear. “Now go.” She ordered as she sternly pointed towards the front door.
You glared at her before turning and walking to the front door. You were about to open the door when you turned back to Usnavi and Vanessa, raising your clenched fist like you were toasting them with a glass of wine.
“And a toast to the most beautiful couple in Washington Heights. May you always love each other and be satisfied. Because I will never be.”
After blowing a kiss, you pushed open the door and walked out, the door slamming behind you.
Daveed can’t sleep. It’s not often he has trouble sleeping, he’s usually out like a light as soon as he hits the pillow and rarely wakes up before 8 in the morning.
But tonight, he just can’t sleep. He’s pretty sure that it’s the gap between him and Oak that’s keeping him awake. Sure Y/N hardly ever goes to bed at the same time as him so he usually falls asleep with a gap in between him and Oak but tonight it’s different.
Without looking, Daveed reaches over to grab Oaks bicep and shake. Oak doesn’t care about being woken up during the night, the man is so well rested he has no sleep to catch up on so he doesn’t mind having his sleep cut short or someone interrupting him.
"Hm?” Daveed only just hears the response from him as he turns his head to stare at his half asleep boyfriend.
"You awake?” Daveed whispers, not wanting to disturb the peaceful quiet of the apartment.
“Mmhm. What’s up?” Oak mumbles, rubbing his eyes.
Daveed turns on his side to look at him, softly running his hand down Oaks arm.
"It’s too empty. The bed” he explains.
Without a word Oak shuffles over, moving right into Y/N’s spot so he can pull Daveed to his chest.
“Yeah I know babe” Oak says, leaning in to kiss him softly.
Daveed kisses back, lifting his hand to press against the other mans cheek.
“I hate it when she goes away” Daveed says after pulling away from Oaks soft lips.
“Me too babe, now come on get some sleep” Oak tells him gently, kissing the side of his head.
All of a sudden, the bed doesn’t feel so empty. He still misses Y/N, still doesn’t like the feeling of only one set of arms touching him, but he feels a little more content now that there’s no gap between them.
“Love you” Daveed mumbles, his eyelids feeling too heavy to keep open suddenly as he presses himself as close to Oak as he can.
“I love you too” Oak whispers, kissing Daveeds forehead as he falls asleep.