so while I will begrudgingly admit that I enjoyed Cars 3, I also kept getting taken out of it because of how many fucking questions the Cars universe raises
there’s this character that’s a school bus.. like… a normal human school bus… Not a school bus designed to transport other cars, like Mack or the helicopter from the first movie, but like… designed to carry humans inside of her?? she even references the school district she’s from?? if she was from a car school wouldn’t she be designed to carry cars not people?? is the Cars universe a post-apocalyptic nightmare world where sentient cars wiped out the humans or what??
there’s one part where Lightning McQueen fixes something by taping it back together offscreen and I’m like?? how?? you don’t have hands???
Cruz comments that something is high quality and made out of real metal but isn’t that sort of like something being made out of human skin or bones or something
a lot of the movie is about how Lightning feels inferior to the newer younger cars, but… where are they coming from?? do the cars procreate? do they just… build new cars? who is building these new cars?? and if they’re being built why can’t Lightning just get some newer parts to help him compete??
there are child cars, so… how do they get older? are their parents replacing their parts every year? are they somehow growing organically?? does it have to do with whatever horrific event wiped out humanity?
there’s a part where lightning gets all four of his wheels removed and isn’t that sort of gruesome?? aren’t those like, his legs? and wait so every time he gets a pitstop he’s getting his legs ripped off and replaced with new ones?????
why the fuck do touchscreens exist in the Cars universe THEY DON’T HAVE HANDS
why do the cars have tongues and teeth if they run on gas
all the girl cars have car eyeliner ~so you can tell that they’re girls~ but how the hell do they apply it WITH NO HANDS
if there are car billionaires, then there is car money. who is on the car money? are there car presidents? is one of them Gerald Ford? where do cars keep their car money? in their trunks? do they have car wallets? but if they keep their wallets in their trunks isn’t that like keeping your wallet in your buttcrack all the time?
Sally implies that Lightning McQueen is smelly after being a shut-in for months… so… the cars can sweat? they have sweat glands? is there car deodorant or do they just go to car washes? where would they put the car deodorant? are their wheel wells their armpits? how do they put on car deodorant WITHOUT HANDS
there’s a scene where a forklift plays a guitar and I just