swear to god i'm going to have to try so hard not to eat it all at once

what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is gone

hey hey hey guess who watched the minecraft sky factory videos fifty times and ended up getting inspired. *points at self* mE, I DID… so yeah, this is a lovely little thing I cooked up because I have no self-control and honestly we need more jeremichael fics. I hope y’all enjoy and let me know what you think!

(also I'm gonna tag @holographdick because I know you like jeremichael and anon-ed you once saying I’d write you some jeremichael, so I’m paying back what I owe)

Pairing: Jeremichael
Warnings: Swearing & mentions of catatonic characters (they ain’t dead tho)


Jeremy doesn’t understand how Michael can sit so close to the ledge without being absolutely terrified.

The drop beneath them is huge, ridiculous, stupid; and yet, Michael’s ass is planted on the edge of the wooden platform, his legs dangling off into the abyss below him with little care for his own safety. Jeremy wants to pull him back, grab him by his collar and drag him back within the bounds of the wooden fence that Geoff built for them, but he knows Michael won’t appreciate that. He knows he’s just paranoid, he knows that this feeling will settle once Ryan figures out how to heal, fix, cure Jack and Geoff; but until then, Jeremy doesn’t want Michael anywhere near the edge.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Gavin scramble his way up one of their newly grown oaks. He grabs for the branches widely, carelessly with little to no planning of his path and Jeremy can’t help but grit his teeth. Ryan is busy with the sieve behind him- cursing every few moments under his breath- and Jeremy can guess that he’s trying to sift through their reserve of gravel for something useful. Neither of them seems to care about Michael, neither of them seem bothered enough to ask him to come back away from the edge- so that makes it Jeremy’s job.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm the same anon who requested the pregnancy headcannons. I recently found out that I have a miscarriage, and my husband hasn't been here for me. Do you think you could do headcannons related to this? I really need the boys' support right now.


Hey there, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and I can’t understand what you are going through but I can at least write this. Unfortunately I don’t know much about the subject but I did some reading. If you need to talk I can at least listen (well read) because everyone deserves someone to talk to during such sadness. This article and comments were very touching and these other people have shared their own stories, if you would like to read. x x x

Let me know if you want this taken down. I can just send it to you privately. I really do hope that you can find your happiness again, I hope my writing conveys that too (even if it’s not the best).

WARNING: ANGST

Yoosung

  • When you found out in the doctor’s office you didn’t understand what you were being told
  • Each word you knew but put together in that sentence it was gibberish
  • “I’m so sorry…” the nurse apologized again.
  • You felt sick and you wanted to go home immediately.
  • When you arrived home you didn’t remember getting into the car, starting it, or the drive it took to get here.
  • What had you been thinking about? It was all a blank.
  • Yoosung.
  • Taking the phone out of your pocket you stared at the screen. You had to call him.
  • “No!” you threw the phone suddenly.
  • Oh god, oh god… you would have to tell him.
  • Your hands grabbed at your hair.
  • He had wanted this so badly, maybe more than you.
  • You start to doubt it all and the tears started to roll down your face. Was that why-
  • “Sweetheart? Are you home?”
  • No, no, no, no, you chanted. You weren’t ready but your legs wouldn’t move.
  • You wanted to hide, to run away.
  • He came around the corner and saw you. His sunny expression faded as he saw the anguish on your face.
  • He raced across the living room to you. “What’s wrong?”
  • The tears came faster and your throat closed up making it hard to breathe.
  • So he hugged you to him in an attempt to calm you down.
  • “Tell me what’s wrong…” he rubbed your back.
  • “P-please…I can’t…”
  • “It’s ok, I’m here. You can tell me,” he persisted.
  • You tried to push away put he held you firmly to him. “Let go!”
  • “No. Please, just take some deep breaths.”
  • “D-Did…” you could hear him swallow, “did something happen at the doctor appointment.”
  • “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, argh!” You snapped. “It’s my, my, fault!” You balled up his shirt in your hands. “I-I didn’t want, ah, this, e-enough!”
  • He hugged you tighter and you could feel your shoulder becoming wet with tears.
  • “It’s not your fault,” he spoke. “Please, sweetheart, it’s not I promise.”
  • Why, why was he so kind? Yell at me! You wanted to scream.
  • You wouldn’t be able to take his hatred down the road if he didn’t start now.
  • “I’m sorry, I should have…there was more I could have done.”
  • You clung to him. “Stop it… There’s something wrong with me, my body…”
  • “I don’t believe you.”
  • “It’s true! I wasn’t excited enough! I skipped taking those vitamins and I didn’t eat as healthy as I could have. I don’t deserve to have a child and that’s why-“
  • “Listen to me!” he tugged you away from him to look you in the eye. “Hate me! Blame it on me! If you hate yourself like this…I don’t want you to feel so alone that you…”
  • His voice hitched. “That you…”
  • It hit you all at once what he meant. He was so afraid that you would end your life from grief.
  • “Don’t leave me,” you hear him whisper. “Please…I can’t…I’ll do better… If you live only to hate me I can take it, I swear.”
  • The same words that you wanted to say. “No Yoosung, I’m not going anywhere, ok? So don’t leave me either.”
  • You stayed there, sticking to each other, going through the first waves of grief together.

Zen

  • When you found out you cried and cried for what felt like years
  • No more tears would come out and your eyes stung and felt puffy
  • You came home to Zen and knew you had to tell him right away, he deserved to know as much as you did
  • You sat next to him on the couch and couldn’t look him in the eye
  • This one time there was no “babe” or jokes from him.
  • “I…” you took a deep breath. “I lost the baby.”
  • It came crashing down again as the words left your mouth
  • Dry sobbing ensued as you hugged yourself.
  • You felt a hand on your shoulder but jerked away without knowing why and that made you cry harder
  • Knowing that Zen probably had that hurt expression on his face, the pain he must be feeling
  • He had been bragging about how, “good looking our son will be.”
  • But something deep within you didn’t want to be touched
  • For some days you avoided him. He would try his best to make conversation and brought you flowers
  • All you could do was gaze out a window or in some random space in the house and sort of nod
  • The gap between you only seemed to grow
  • You couldn’t even bare to lay next to him in bed some nights. It was either from fear of contact or the dreams
  • Tonight it was the dreams as your eyes flew open and you gasped for air.
  • They weren’t nightmares. You dreamed of holding a baby, your baby, and walking around the house singing to him.
  • Slowly you peeled the covers off and swung your legs to hang off the bed. You would go sit outside for a while where you could cry without waking Zen and then fall asleep like you usually did.
  • A hand wrapped around your wrist and you froze
  • Looking back Zen was laying on his side with his back to you but still holding on to your wrist.
  • “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
  • There was silence until he finally took a deep breath to speak.
  • “Was it another nightmare?”
  • Ah, so he had known about them. You have avoided saying anything.
  • “Is there anything I can do?”
  • “They just…happen…”
  • Some part of you still wanted to curl up next to him and have him hold you but the damage felt like it was done. You didn’t know how to fix it. How to close the gap.
  • “This…” his voice was hoarse. “This is the first time I’ve been able to touch you without you flinching…”
  • You closed your eyes tight and tried to breathe normally.
  • “I…” his voice became more strained. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I thought that if I gave you space and tried to act normal things would get better but…they’ve only gotten worse.”
  • You knew this already. You knew but the pain felt fresh.
  • “I want to stay, I want to be with you but…”
  • Your breath hitched. But? Was this it? Had you two been driven apart past repair?
  • “If you hate me, I understand. If you tell me to leave, no matter how much I love you, I’ll do it.”
  • Your hiccupping was impossible to quiet in a room full of silence. Is that what you wanted? To be completely alone?
  • “Just…” you could hear him crying, “tell me what to do.”
  • How could you do that when you didn’t even know what to do or how to act?
  • His hand loosened and as it started to retract you panicked and grabbed his wrist.
  • The words didn’t come out immediately but you held on like it was the only life saver keeping you afloat at sea.
  • “I-I don’t know,” you whispered. “I don’t know how to act, I don’t ever feel normal. I don’t know why I flinch. But, I don’t hate you. I thought you hated me. I don’t want you to leave because…I still love you so much.”
  • He didn’t jump out of bed to hug you or drag you against his chest and you were relieved because you were afraid of hurting him again.
  • Instead you felt his hand move to hold yours. You turned around and could see him staring at you. Had his eyes always been that bright or was it tears making them so reflective.
  • For the first time you were able to look your husband in the face and just that seemed to make him smile.
  • “Thank you,” he whispered.

Jumin

  • Jumin had joined you to your doctor’s appointment like he insisted on every time.
  • Afterwards he would take you to lunch and try to insist on going somewhere more expensive
  • The nurse called you back and you laid down for the checkup.
  • In the middle of the exam the nurse stopped, “Excuse me for a moment,” and left.
  • You look at Jumin in confusion but shrugged it off.
  • She came back a moment later with a doctor in tow who greeted them and continued the checkup.
  • Finnaly he stopped and you could feel something was off.
  • “How’s the baby?” you ask.
  • “I’m sorry Mrs. Han. There’s no heartbeat. I’m sorry for your loss. This happens sometimes…”
  • The doctor kept speaking but you tuned it out. The life inside of you…was no longer growing?
  • You could hear Jumin’s voice, he was…asking for another test to be run. A second opinion? Should you rely on that hope?
  • Jumin asked about the rest of your health and the doctor said you were healthy.
  • You were at another doctor’s office in an hour where you received the same news and with no hope left you cried.
  • You cried leaving the doctors, the drive home, when you got home. All the while Jumin held you without saying a word.
  • Not a word that day and hardly a word about it afterwards. You tried to get things back to normal but he seemed so resigned even though he was always there.
  • If you started crying he was there to hold you, if you needed something it was on its way, but he felt so cold.
  • You tried to get him to talk to you but he only asked about how you felt.
  • Your sadness turned bitter. Didn’t he feel a thing? The baby was part of you both.
  • I package was delivered one day and when you opened it, there were some set of baby clothes and maternity clothes you had ordered.
  • You smiled fondly at the cute patterns of little ducks and unisex colors.
  • Jumin walked in and stopped just for a moment to look at what you were holding before continuing on to the kitchen.
  • “I can’t believe someone thought of putting elastic in front of shorts to make “pregnancy shorts”,” you commented.
  • “It’s a large market these days.”
  • You frowned at his response and set the clothes down back in the box. You picked it up and brought it to the nursery.
  • You often went inside at sat in the rocking chair just wondering about the “if’s”.
  • When you opened the door you froze in the door. Walking back to the kitchen you set the box down with a thud.
  • “Jumin, where’s all the nursery stuff?”
  • “I had it returned,” he responded monotone.
  • “You…you what?”
  • “I had the items returned. I didn’t want it to be painful for you to walk in there.”
  • “Painful for me? It’s going to be painful no matter! Am I the only one feeling the pain?” you shouted.
  • He narrowed his eyes and for the first time you saw some sort hurt there.
  • “You think I’m not in pain?” he asked incredulously.
  • “All you do is ask me about my feelings. Not once have you expressed your own!”
  • “I’m trying to protect you-“
  • You threw maternity clothes at him. The pair of shorts hit him in the chest and h caught the other pieces of clothing one by one.
  • “Oh please! Don’t even!” you yelled. “Did you care? Just tell me whether you actually felt anything at all-“
  • Yes God damn it!” he roared and threw the clothes on the ground. His fists clenched at his sides he spoke, “I felt so many things but I couldn’t for the life of me understand on any level how you felt. I read and I researched but I couldn’t comprehend.”
  • His hand covered his face. “The person I loved so much in so much pain and I can’t do anything to fix it. I’ve never felt so useless.”
  • The tears streaked down your face as you closed the distance to wrap your arms around him.
  • “I didn’t need your complete understanding you idiot. I just needed to know that I wasn’t alone. I needed your emotional support not just to be taken care of like a pet.”
  • “You…felt alone?” he asked.
  • “I was the only one talking about how I felt or what had happened. It felt like I was the only person who acknowledged the baby ever existed…”
  • He wrapped his arms around you.
  • “I don’t want to just forget Jumin, even if it’s painful, I don’t want to act like this baby never existed.”
  • “Me neither,” he kissed your hair. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can express it as easily as you but I’ll try.”
  • You nodded. “I love you. I’m sorry for saying what I did. I know you care.”
  • “I love you more than I’ll ever be able to express,” he kissed you on the forehead.
  • A fluffy white body brushed against both your legs. “Meow!
  • You bent down to grab her. “We love you too Elizabeth.” You kissed her on the forehead as Jumin petted her.

Saeyoung

  • “Mimi…stop it…” you whined as a paw pushed against your face.
  • “Meow.”
  • You groaned at how persistent she was being with you tonight.
  • When you opened your eyes to see two green feline eyes staring down at you it was too late to fall back asleep.
  • “What is it?” you asked moving your legs.
  • Something wet brushed your skin.
  • “Did you throw up?” you asked in disgust.
  • Moving the sheets away it was hard to see so you moved off the bed. Turning on the bedside light you could immediately see red. It took only moments for you to piece it together and the dread washed over you as you could see the blood on your thighs.
  • You shook Saeyoung. “Saeyoung!”
  • He shot up and grabbed you by the shoulders and when you told him you were bleeding his eyes had never looked so scared.
  • You two jumped into a car and the entire way to the hospital you could hear him repeatedly pleading.
  • “Please God, please be ok. Don’t do this…”
  • After they ran the tests you awaited for the results with Saeyoung at your side holding your hand.
  • The nurse entered and somehow you knew, the words hadn’t left her mouth but you knew the results.
  • The pain and anguish still came as you tried to understand what had happened. Saeyoung stood there and said, “No. Run it again.”
  • “Sir-“ the nurse tried to speak.
  • “Run. It. Again.” He repeated.
  • He sat down once the nurse had left but never let go of your hand. No words were exchanged and when a different nurse came back sometime later, she started with an apology.
  • There was no hope left. They told you that they would need to keep you the rest of the night to make sure you were ok.
  • Hours passed but neither of you slept nor spoke. Your tears had been flooding over and had since dried out.
  • At some point you couldn’t take it. “Sae-“
  • “Are you hungry? He asked and stood up. “I’ll go see if they have anything.”
  • Without looking at you he walked out of the room.
  • Alone, you closed your eyes and not knowing how much time had passed you fell asleep from exhaustion.

  • You couldn’t hear it or see him but once he walked out of the room with that awful excuse he was in tears.
  • His anger was out of control.
  • How could this happen? Was he truly cursed to hurt everyone he loved so much?
  • “Damn it!” He kicked a waiting room chaired and it make a crack as it fell over. His fist hit the wall and the pain in his hand was nothing compared to seeing he look on your face.
  • When that nurse had come in, the light in your eyes had left like you had lost all hope. You had been so happy, joking about twins or what if you guys painted the room with cats.
  • He could so clearly see your smile in his head but now you were in a hospital bed wearing a tear soaked hospital gown.
  • His back hit the wall and he slid down the wall to rest his arms on his knees.
  • He bargained with whoever, that if by some miracle this child could be alive that he would gladly die. But he seems he was destined to live through this heart break and in the worst punishment yet; watch his wife suffer.

  • You were woken up to the morning sun and Saeyoung was still gone. You sat up and heard his voice outside the hallway.
  • He poked his head in and excused himself from whoever he was speaking with.
  • He walked in and gave a small smile, “Good morning.”
  • You tried to smile back. “Morning.”
  • “I got all the paperwork done so we can head home if you want?”
  • You nodded. “Yes please.”
  • The idea was more appealing than you realized. When you both arrived you were greeted by a black short haired cat. She stretched her front legs up to rest against your leg, signaling to be picked up.
  • You did as beckoned carrying her to the bedroom.
  • The bed was maid and as you pulled back the blankets and sheets there was no sign of last night besides the ugly hospital bracelet on your wrist.
  • It looked like Saeyoung had order someone to buy and deliver a new mattress.
  • “Meow.” Mimi rubbed against your neck and you petted her lovingly.
  • The tears started to form. “Mimi…I’m sorry we left you alone…”
  • The cat purred and continued to let you hold her for a record amount of time.  
  • “We love you…” you whisper. “We love you and we’re sorry…”
  • The last one wasn’t for the cat, you knew it was for the unborn child you would never get to see.
  • You laid down and the cat came back to curl against you. You stroked her until you fell asleep.
  • When you awoke later Mimi was gone but I different pair of yellow eyes watched you.
  • You cuddled closer to your husband sleepily.
  • After a few moments you could hear him talking to you while stroking your hair.
  • “I’m sorry…you don’t deserve to go through this…”
  • “Neither do you…”
  • He jumped and his hand stopped. “I thought you were sleeping.”
  • “I was.”
  • More silence.
  • “I’ll let you sleep,” he said moving away.
  • You grabbed his arm. “Don’t do this.”
  • “Do what?”
  • “What you did last time. Don’t hold me at arm’s length to protect me.”
  • “This isn’t like last time…”
  • “Right now, you’re blaming yourself. You’re hating yourself. “This was unpredictable so neither of us is to blame,” is what I keep telling myself.” You took a deep breath. “Even so, I hate myself and keep trying to figure out if I did something wrong.”
  • He hugged you tight. “You didn’t. It’s all me. Whenever I have something pure and happy I ruin it. I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve to have my own family. If I had just restrained myself…you could be with someone else-”
  • “Stop it!” You grab the front of his shirt. “Stop right now! You deserve as much happiness as anyone else and you make me happy. I’m not made of glass, even though I feel unimaginable sadness, I don’t need you to leave me.”
  • The tears were back and stung your eyes. “I’ll never forgive you if you leave me.”
  • He rested his forehead against yours. “I won’t leave you unless you tell me too.”
  • “Well that’s never going to happen.” You cup his face in your hands. “We can do this. It’ll take time but don’t run away.”
  • He covered your hand with his. “Together, with you.”

Calum Imagine: Saving You at a Club

Author: Rhine

-

You could feel his eyes on you from across the dimly lit room, following your every move.

You were highly aware of it, the way he was just standing there, too casual to be casual, too happy for someone who was planning to just enjoy himself at the club.

He was thinking of more than that, with his dirty eyes trained on you.

You tried to brush it off, you tried to ignore it – but you couldn’t hide the panic that spiked your system every time he started to move closer to you.

And it wasn’t your fault that you came to this club alone; it wasn’t your fault you wanted to have some fun on a late night, it wasn’t your fault that you wanted to look good with the dress that made you feel beautiful and heels that put you on top of the world; makeup that made you smirk into the mirror with red lips.

It wasn’t your fault for being beautiful – no, that’s not a fault at all – but the way he was looking at you made it feel like it was.

You tried to lose him in the pulsing bodies, the fun of the night replaced with fear, panic in your system where the tipsy spin of alcohol was.

But he was always there, underneath the yellow of a florescent light, just before it flashed red.

Do you want to dance with me?

You politely declined him the first time he asked – when you first walked into the club, a small smile on your face, insisting that you really just wanted to sit for a bit.

He frowns a little, but he says just remember to save a dance for me and he’s off, just another boy who’ll move on to another girl and you’ve encountered people like him before; he’ll forget about you the moment another girl caught his eyes.

But it’s been two hours and he keeps on coming back with that greasy smile on his face and when he never leaves his eyes from you even as he steps away.

You don’t like it.

“Where’s that dance you promised me?”

And his voice is too low, his mouth too close to your skin and you don’t like the way his eyes sweep over you, you don’t like this, you don’t like him.

“I didn’t promise you a thing.”

“’Course you did, baby. C’mon, just one dance.”

He’s looking at you like a meal but you weren’t made for his hungry lips.

“I don’t want to dance.”

“Just one won’t hurt anybody. I’ve been waiting for you all night.”

“I said no.”

You try to sidestep him but he uses his broad shoulders to block you and his hands are on your wrist, tugging you towards him while you try to pull yourself away again.

“Let go of me.”

“No need to be so tense, babe. Don’t be such a killjoy.”

He’s practically trying to drag you now, a pointed smile on his lips at the sight of you trying to wriggle away from his grip.

“Fuck off!”

You claw at his veined arms – aren’t you glad you did your nails today? – and stomp on his foot – hard – with those spiked heels that you loved so much.

He yelps with a loud swear that makes everyone within vicinity turn and look your way, letting go of you in an instant, clutching at his foot that was sorely bruised – fucking broken, you hope – from your spiked heel.

“You crazy bitch!”

“Crazy bitch who doesn’t want to dance. Take a hint, creep!”

You make your way through the crowd – who was gladly parting for you – leaving the boy to limp away in shame as you held your head high.

You’re in the midst of texting your friend – who was likely asleep, but you’d give it a shot anyways – to come and pick you up and listen to you rant when a tall figure in front of you blocks the light you were using to see the small screen.

You look up with raised, expectant eyebrows.

“Hey, uh – are you okay?”

Tall, tanned, sharp lines accented with the shadows and the flashing lights, art on his arms and peeking from his shirt, eyes that were dark enough to drown in – you would’ve called him cute in a way that didn’t mean just hair-ruffling on any other day, but today you weren’t having it.

“I’m fine.”

You say it in the way most people would clench go away.

“Listen, I know you’ve just had a rough night – and I know you were looking for a fun one – and I know you’re probably sick of testosterone at this point, but I think it’s in your best interest to know that the creep you just single-handedly slayed has friends.”

You try to hide the panic underneath a stony façade, but you can feel your chin trembling.

“I saw them in the men’s room and they didn’t look too happy about one of their mates suffering a stiletto stab to the foot – and as much as I would love to rewatch you do that like six more times tonight – totally epic, by the way, you have my total respect – I’d rather not put you through that.”

You’re quiet, staring at the boy’s immaculately clean shoes and long legs, trying to gather your thoughts with tightly wound fingers around your purse.

“What were they saying?”

The boy hesitates and you already know what it means.

“Listen, do you have a ride out of here?”

“I – she’s asleep.”

“Call a cab. Now.”

You fumble with your phone, quickly dialling the number and stammering out an address, pleading for a fast driver and the closest possible parking.

When you hang up, you think you feel something collapsing inside of you – the dam of calm, cool, collectiveness – and the fear and worry starts to rush in.

He sees it and he stoops down to your level, trying to catch your eye.

“Hey, hang in there, alright? Breathe, there – just like that, good. I’m Calum. Hood. At your service. What’s your name?”

You manage to tell him in between deep breaths and stutters.

“There we go. We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? Don’t worry – you’re a strong girl and this is just a bad night. Don’t worry.”

His hands hover over your shoulders but they never land on it; he’s a step away, just enough for you to inhale some fresh air without the shadow of his body over you.

You close your eyes and take a few more deep breaths before looking into his steady gaze again.

“Thank you, Calum. I – “

“Found someone else to run to, huh?”

The greasy voice is right behind you and you swallow your fear and turn to face him.

“Was my message not clear enough the first time? Leave me alone.”

You refuse to tremble in front of him. Like the fucking mutt he was, he could probably smell your fear.

You are not the prey.

Even if he has his friends circling you.

“Do you think you’re clever?”

“Oi, fuck off, mate. She clearly doesn’t want you, so go leech on someone else.”

Calum’s jaw is set and his eyes are narrowed at the other boy, muscles in his arm tensing.

“Gonna hide behind your boyfriend?”

“Gonna call the fucking cops for harassment if you don’t leave me alone.”

“You won’t do it.”

“Bet you didn’t think I would crush your foot either, but here we are.”

You’re trembling visibly but the fire in your eyes don’t subside.

The boy steps towards you with sturdy steps, his friends starting to do the same.

Calum swiftly steps in front of you, and you just manage to peek from behind his sweat-glistened shoulders.

“Listen, asshat – there are at least a hundred people in this club, fifty of which saw your slimy ass hands on her and eighty who heard your pansy-ass screams when you didn’t understand the meaning of no. All eyes are on you, buddy – what are you gonna do?”

Calum’s words are a growl and you can see his fingers curling into fists in the corner of your eye.

The other boy takes another step closer to Calum – practically chest-to-chest now – this guy really didn’t understand the concept of personal space – spitting his words right back.

“Does playing hero make you feel better?”

“Does a foot up your ass sound good to you?”

Calum isn’t backing down, and the poison in his voice is enough to keep the creep and his friends at bay – though it’s probably a mix of that and his muscled build, which you were thankful for.

“Listen, you piece of horseshit, try anything – if you even look at her the wrong way – I will not hesitate to kick your worthless ass to the curb and smash your dirty head in for the rats to eat. I am saying this once and once only – fuck off.”

“You think you can say the same words when I string that head up on my wall?”

This time, it’s you to steps in.

“Listen, I don’t know what kind of weird-ass Twilight coven shit you have going on with you and your boys, but you have got to get a hobby.”

“Why, you – “

“Crazy bitch, yeah, I know. Slutface McHooker queen, whatever trashy name you want me to soothe your itty bitty aching heart from rejection – but if you wanted a fucking dance, maybe you shouldn’t of treated me like a piece of meat. Hard, I know. But maybe if you – oh my god, wait for it – treated me like a fucking human, then you’d have a chance at this one fucking dance that you wanted so much.”

He’s glaring at you openly now, his hands twitching at his sides.

“Seriously, mate – there’s at least fifty other girls in this club and you look like a dick for getting so worked up over one. Just leave it alone.”

Calum’s trying the calmer approach, though you still see the veins lining his arms from the tension.

“I don’t like being disrespected.”

“And I don’t like being handled by your greasy-ass hands – deal with it. You must love being the fool though, because I spy with my little eye fucking security coming your way.”

The other boy whips around so quickly you swear you hear his neck crack a little.

Sure enough, the black-figured security was heading your way, and the creep with his gang of friends are quick to try and scamper away from you.

“Everything okay here?”

“Can you take out the trash, kind sirs? The lady’s had a long night.”

Calum says the words with utmost respect and sincerity to the bulky security guard, and with a small nod, they grab the entourage that once surrounded you and harshly push them out, whispers and camera flashes from the other clubbers following their path out.

When they’re gone, you finally exhale in relief.

“Do you have like an on switch in your head to be a badass or…?”

Calum laughs breathily at you, and you can’t help but to grin at his words.

“My knees were shaking the whole entire time, oh my god.”

“They’re gone now. Strong girl.”

He places a steady hand on your shoulder and you smile gratefully at him.

“Thank you, Calum. I – I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably kick some ass. Might get some enemy blood on that pretty dress of yours.”

You laugh and shake your head, a small smile playing on his lips.

“I mean it. Thank you.”

He nods in response to your sincerity, a quick pat before his hand leaves your shoulder.

“Get going now. Your ride’s here.”

You follow his gaze to the bright taxicab in front of the club, undoubtedly yours.

You look back at him and in a moment of spontaneity and gratefulness, you envelop his sweating body in your arms for a quick hug, your lips brushing his cheek as you pull away.

You rush out of the club after that, clumsily fitting yourself into the taxicab with a split-second smile before the car whisks you away.

He watches you get into the car safely, watching the lights disappear down the lonely street.

He’s not sure how to explain to his friends your red lipstick stain on his cheek or the lingering remnants of your perfume on his skin.

Got lucky, Cal?

He thinks of the girl with the fire in her eyes and the arch of her brow, the confidence in her stance and the authority in her voice despite the trembling of her fingers.

Yeah. I did.

-

more imagines here!

anonymous asked:

a scenario where bertl's partner meets reiner for the first time and he embarrasses the hell out of poor bertl? (lol)

“Reiner, this is my partner, ___.” Bertholdt looks and sounds uneasy as he wraps an arm around their shoulders. He’d warned them countless times before that Reiner could be a bit much for someone meeting him the first time, but they simply brushed it off. The man couldn’t be that bad if their precious boyfriend had been his friend for so long. Reiner’s eyes lit up happily, lunging over to them to shake their hand. They jump at the fast movement, but take his large hand in theirs nonetheless.

“Wow, how’d you manage to get someone this cute, Bert?” Reiner asks, smiling as if he hadn’t said anything embarrassing. Bertholdt’s face lit up in a crimson color, matching his partner’s. Reiner only laughs, shaking his head in what seemed to be admiration. “No wonder you guys are dating. You seem similar.” His voice seemed to be quieter now, more calm. He leaned back in the wooden café chair, looking at the couple who sat across from him.

“Did you want anything, Bertholdt?” They ask softly, leaning over his shoulder to look at the menu he’d been holding. He immediately stiffened, not used to them being so direct in front of someone they’d just met. The blond counterpart didn’t seem to care much, though, eyeing a big sundae a waitress had carried out for a different table. “Hey, can we get one of those?” He asks, turning back to face them, but immediately clamps a hand over his mouth. “Oh, never mind. Sorry, I forgot Bert.”

Bertholdt gives him a look that should have made anyone else shiver, but Reiner only laughs. His partner seems to be interested in their exchange, turning the attention to them with a question of their own. “Why would you be sorry? Do you not like ice cream?” They look at Reiner, before directing their question to their boyfriend. He makes a groaning noise, shaking his head as a signal for them to drop it.

So, they did. Until Reiner is almost in tears from laughing so hard. “Did you actually not tell them? Oh my god, please tell me you actually ate some ice cream with them for a date once. Did your mom conveniently call straight afterward?” Reiner’s laugh is loud and almost contagious, if they had known what he’d been talking about. They did eat ice cream once, and Bertholdt did have to leave right after, but his mom hadn’t called him.

Reiner,” Bertholdt says in unusually calm and strong voice. “I swear to god, you promised you wouldn’t do anything stupid today.” Bertholdt’s arms are crossed in front of his body, trying to hide his shakiness from both of the other people at the table. Reiner raises his hands up in mock defense.

“Sorry, sorry. I just figured that’d be something you’d at least mention.”  ___ had started to get mad. What was so important, and why didn’t their dear boyfriend tell them about it?

“What in the world are you talking about?” They ask a little too loudly, getting the attention from a few nearby customers. Their head goes down immediately, interested in what kind of tablecloth the café used rather than the surroundings around them.

“Well you see,” Reiner starts.

“Reiner, don’t.” Bertholdt interrupts.

“Bertl here has a bit of a condition.”

“Reiner!”

“He’s lactose intolerant. He has it pretty bad. It’s all embarrassing, yeah? That’s not the most attractive thing, trust me, I know.” Reiner makes waves his hand in the air as if there’d been a bad smell, making the lightbulb above their head tick with realization.

“Oh my god.” Bertholdt murmurs from behind his hands that had been covering their face. He feels the body next to him shaking, making him peek over his hands just enough to see them trying to hold back from laughing too hard.

“You’re a riot, kid.” Neither of the men were sure just who they were talking to, but Reiner gives them a quick thank you anyway. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” They ask, turning their attention to their tall boyfriend. A small snort resounded in their throat after they asked, but they quickly tried to cover it up with a cough.

“Oh, yeah, because a lactose intolerant boyfriend is really attractive. Okay, ___.” Both Reiner and ___’s eyebrows raise at Bertholdt’s sudden sass, making them laugh even harder. His face pales a bit once he realizes what he’d said.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“I know you didn’t, sweetie.” They say in a fake caring tone, patting their boyfriend’s back in a very uncomfortable manner. “That sundae did look pretty good though. How about Reiner and I share that and you can get something of your choice?” They ask, looking for a compromise.

Reiner only nods enthusiastically, already looking through the menu to see what kind of options the café had. Betholdt seems less excited, but still agrees to their offer quietly. The trio eats fairly quickly, parting ways outside of the building. It was a nice day, a breeze going by and ruffling their clothes. Bertholdt closes a hand around his partner’s as they walk down the sidewalk.

“He wasn’t such a bad guy. I don’t see why you were so worried.”

“You’re right. Can’t wait to hear about all the stories your best friend will have about you when I meet them next weekend.” Bertholdt smiles coyly, looking up at the blue sky above them. ___ stops walking, making Bert turn to look back at them.

“You wouldn’t dare.” They say in the most intimidating voice they could muster. “I’m pretty sure I would.” He says back, pulling them along down the sidewalk once more.

Cloudy on Ice

I need to have joy in my life again, so I’m mushing together two things that make me happy. 


Cloud’s hands shook as he watched the video of himself skating. He had been okay with Tifa recording it. She had always supported him, letting him into the rink when everything became too much, teaching him some stretches that could get him loosened up and focused, even making a huge sign for him during his failure of a Grand Prix Final. 

He was not as okay with it being posted online. He watched the number below rise higher and higher, now past 100,000 views. 

“Sorry,” Aerith, Tifa’s girlfriend, said, “I just thought it looked cool. I didn’t realize it was a big deal.” Cloud couldn’t respond, just let his hands shake. 

It wouldn’t be half as embarrassing if he was in proper shape. And if he hadn’t clearly copied Sephiroth’s free program from the Grand Prix Finals. 

Gods…he’s admired Sephiroth since he started to skate, always dreamed of skating with him…and his crush was so blatantly obvious now. 

Cloud was never going out in public again. 

“Oh…theres a battle going on in the comments,” Aerith said, “Oh my.” Cloud knew what he said. 

Loser, can’t skate well when it matters.

Piggy packed on the pounds, didn’t he?

Copycat. 

Your fans look like they hope this means a comeback for you,” Aerith said, pointing. Cloud had to blink at them for a few seconds before he actually comprehended what he was reading. 

We knew you could do it Cloud!

That’s the Cloud we love!

Cloud blushed. He definitely wasn’t going back in public again. 


Cloud felt safe with his mother. While their little bed and breakfast could never compare to the official one in town, the beds were warmer and her cooking was much, much better. 

Perhaps he had taken a little too much comfort in her cooking, but she didn’t mind. 

“You always changed your weight so easily,” she said, “Up a little one week, skinny as a rail the next.” 

He came back home and buried himself into folding towels. Trying to forget about the video, despite everyone in Nibelheim talking about it. 

“Cloud!” his mom called, “we have a guest. He’s from way out of town. He wanted to use the bath, but I didn’t have towels. Deliver some when you have a pile for a room.”

“Okay Ma,” he said. He took a pile in his arms and headed up the stairs, inhaling the smell of his mother’s pork cutlet, his favorite. The guest had taken the Master bedroom, the one right next to Cloud’s. 

He knocked once and waited. He knocked again. “Towels for you!” he called. Still no answer. 

The Do not Disturb hadn’t been put up, so Cloud guessed they were out. He let himself in. 

There were an awful lot of bags for their usual clientele. People usually only stayed for a few days to see the mako fountains. This guest looked like he was staying for a good while, for what though. There wasn’t much to do in Nibelheim. 

“You must be Cloud.” Cloud felt his heart beat falter for a second. 

He turned towards the bathroom, where the door was slightly ajar and steam was slowly seeping out. Lounging leisurely in the bathtub, long hair in a bun (not to mention naked as the day he was born) was him. Sephiroth. Smirking quietly, but serenely at him. 

Cloud opened his mouth and made a quiet, strangled gasping noise. Sephiroth used the silence as an invitation to stand. 

“I’m here to be your new coach,” Sephiroth said, pulling a clip out of his hair and letting it fall. Cloud just stood there with his jaw hanging. 

“Could I have one of those, Cloud?” Sephiroth said. Cloud handed over a towel still silent. Then he set the pile on the bed and walked out. 

“I’ll see you at dinner then!” Sephiroth said. 


Cloud’s mother remained blissfully unaware of the fame their guest had. All she really knew was that he liked her cooking, which put him on her good side. She was the one who insisted Cloud stay and talk to Sephiroth, since he seemed to like Cloud too. 

“Mmm,” Sephiroth said, “we don’t have food like this back in Midgar.” Mrs. Strife beamed. 

“I used to make it for Cloud when he won his skating competitions,” she said. The very memory made Cloud’s insides curl up. He felt his appetite leaving him. Sephiroth noticed when he put down his fork. 

“Are you going to finish that?” he asked. Cloud shook his head silently. Sephiroth pulled the bowl towards him and began eating out of that one too. 

“Why?” Cloud said at long last, “why are you here?” Sephiroth swallowed and looked Cloud in the eye. 

“I hadn’t felt inspired in skating for months,” Sephiroth said, “And then…I saw the video. Everyone did.” Cloud felt humiliated. 

“It was beautiful,” Sephiroth said. Cloud blinked and looked up. Sephiroth’s hand curled over his, Sephiroth was leaning over closely. 

“All the emotion, the passion, the sadness, the joy…I’ve fought so hard to feel those when I skate now…but you…you did it perfectly. So that’s why I’m here. To help you find that emotion…and win the Grand Prix if that’s your wish.” Sephiroth’s hand was suddenly under his chin and Cloud felt himself turning red. 

“It is what you want…right?” Sephiroth’s voice was close to a purr. Cloud’s instinct was to jerk away. 

“Am I being to forward?” Sephiroth asked, brows furrowing. Cloud mouth finally caught up to him. 

“Yes,” he said, “Yes…Sephiroth, I do want that.” Sephiroth beamed at him. 

“Excellent…but first things first…you have to get back in the shape you were in before you fell apart at Nationals.” With that, Sephiroth finished off the last of Cloud’s bowl of food. 

And Cloud heard his stomach growl. 

deliriiious  asked:

42. shiLATH HHH

| 42. “I swear it was an accident.” |

“Keith. Keith, wake up.”

Keith’s eyes flutter open, and his voice is firm. “Lance, you better have a really good reason for waking me up in the middle of the night after all that training we did.”

“Keith, Lance and I have been talking.” Shiro’s voice enters the conversation. Keith sits up and rubs his eyes. “And we think it’d be good if we taught you how to cook, or I guess bake, right? Lance?” Strange aqua lights line the bottom of Keith’s room but they seem so familiar and he wants desperately for nothing to be running through his head right now.

“Right indeed, Shiro.”

“And why, exactly,” Keith is definitely wide awake now and he regrets everything, “did you both decide to teach me when we all should be asleep?” His legs hang over the side of his bed. “Lance?” His accusatory question in the dark doesn’t wound Lance in the slightest.

“Because we’re good boyfriends. Live a little.”

“By baking.”

“At night,” Lance says, as he makes a rainbow with his hands. “Trust me on this, it’s going to be good.”

“It’s something to take our minds off of fighting,” Shiro adds.

Before Keith knows it, he’s standing and being dragged along in the dark halls of the palace. He can’t believe how awake he is, especially when they stop and enter the kitchen, closing the doors. Lance flips on the switch and it’s like none of them have ever seen the sun before.

It’s painfully bright and they all have to shut their eyes really tightly, all hunched over, trying not to let light flooding dark kill them. After all, they are the defenders of the universe.

But even they have their weaknesses.

And aside from light, for them, it was each other.

No one mentions the light after they grow to find the light comfortable.  There isn’t a moment of silence as Lance and Shiro instruct Keith in the simple art of preparing to bake. At least, they think it’s simple. As they watch Keith fetch the ingredients, Lance laughs, admitting he often cooked back with his mom and Shiro smiles, indulging in similar information from himself.

But Keith doesn’t hear them, since he’s silently proud of himself for collecting the necessary ingredients. He takes a look at the bowl next to the flour and eggs and sugar and goes, “Okay, now what?” Lance and Shiro stop talking, both sharing a knowing look of ‘our boyfriend is so cute’. “Why are you both looking at me like that?” Keith crosses his arms.

“No reason,” they answer together as they each take a spot next to Keith.

“So, just for your information, we’re going to bake a cake,” Lance starts, intertwining his finger and then pushing his palms outward. “First, we need to-”

“What’s cake?” The words slip out and Keith regrets them.

“Well,” starts Shiro, acting in place of Lance who just looks at Keith with wide eyes, “it’s a sweet, well, dessert, and it’s common at birthdays. It’s really good, don’t worry,” Shiro throws an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “I would never make you eat something bad. Not sure about Lance though.” A smile breathes a light laugh and Keith smiles smally. They both look at Lance.

“I don’t know about you two, but I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now,” a face accompanies his words and Lance places a hand on his hip. He sighs and goes, “You’re lucky that I love you guys. Now, I’m gonna-” He grabs the flour and freezes.

It’s the first I love you said out loud between them.

“Lance, you’re adorable,” Shiro replies and Keith grins. “I love you guys, too.”

“You guys put me through a lot emotionally so I hate you but yeah, I guess love sounds better,” claims Keith and once the I love yous are out, Lance doesn’t feel so alone with his declaration.

“Okay, while that was sweet, we really need to start putting all the stuff in,” Lance says through a small smile. “Now, Keith, watch and learn.” He turns his attention to the flour once more and even Shiro takes note of the fact that it’s an impossibly hard bag of flour to open.

“Here,” Shiro moves closer, “let me get that.”

Lance won’t have it. “As much,” he tries, “as I appreciate the offer,” oh my god, “handsome, good old Lance here is completely,” does he try, “on top of things.” Nothing is happening and Lance finally has to admit defeat by a bag of flour. He collapses on top of the counter as Shiro slides the bag over in front of him. Keith sidles over to watch and Lance’s spirit comes back just in time for the fireworks.

The bag is open and they’re all covered in flour. White flecks their dark hair and their faces are white as all hell. Wide eyed, Lance and Keith just look at Shiro, who laughs nervously, “I swear it was an accident.” Silence pervades until Keith laughs a laugh, one that shakes his sides, eyes shut and tears threatening to leak out of the corners of his eyes. It’s the only sound in the kitchen at the moment and Lance knows he wants to keep it going.

So he waits until Keith regains composure to throw an egg, which Keith masterfully avoids. It cracks on the floor and they all look at it as the contents leak out onto the floor. “That was a really poor shot,” Keith finally looks back at Lance. “Let me show you how it’s done,” he runs forward, grabs an egg, and kisses Lance, who’s settling into the kiss, when an egg is slammed into the back of his head.

“That’s my boy,” Shiro kisses Keith on the cheek after he comes back.

An egg cracks against Shiro’s chest and Lance is the culprit. “That’s what you get for underestimating me. The first egg I threw was a decoy,” he grins and runs in Keith’s direction as Keith avoids him, again, and Lance doesn’t think this through because he ends up slipping and being caught by Keith.

“You really have to be careful, Lance, otherwise you’re going to end up in my arms every waking second of your lifeeeee-” Keith doesn’t think it out either as Lance gets him and the decoy egg causes Keith, who’s holding Lance, to go down.

But Shiro catches both of them. “Honestly, you two are such a handful.”

“More like an armful,” Lance cracks his joke and then they all go down all because of Lance’s underestimation shot. They all are on the floor, laughing as they sit, each covered in flour and hit by an egg. It’s a gloriously warm and fun night that never produces any cake.

But in hindsight, it’s a time that produces something much, much sweeter.

anonymous asked:

hey! i'm a new up10tion fan so i dont know much about them :) mind telling me something about each member? thank you in advance!

Hey! Welcome to the fandom!!! Surely I don’t mind!
I’ll skip general facts though; you could read them here if you are interested!

Ordered by age >>>

JINHOO: Leader & vocalist (in charge of many falsetto parts in their songs)

Originally posted by up10-sons

  • KING OF LIPS
  • most of the time super sweet
  • but can be charismatic af if he wants to
  • has a Changwon dialect when he speaks Seoul dialect
  • his spiritual animal is Sally
  • in up10tion he is one of the shortest; he mentioned more than once that he is envious of Wei’s height
  • what I really appreciate about Jinhoo is how he always smiles; I can only imagine how hard it is to be an idol, so it is really important to have someone in your team who encourages the members and stays optimistic no matter what 

KUHN: Vice president, rapper, rising variety star

Originally posted by wonyeols

  • is said to be the ‘discipline’ leader, but Xiao (maknae) said that he (and Gyujin) always take his jokes and pranks without getting angry, so…
  • he is often chosen to be the ‘manliest’ member; still I think what he once said in an interview describes him perfectly “There is a 17-year old girl living in me.”
  • likes shopping and it makes him happy
  • is mostly rapping in their songs, but his singing voice is super smooth; can beatbox and play the guitar too
  • uses a notebook to record his endless variety skills (bonus: beatboxing noh woobin)
  • introduces himself as weather-idol recently since he joined a regular weather forecaster program
  • As I said, I think Kuhn appears to be cool at first but is actually super soft on the inside hahaha I also think that he is the mood maker of the team

KOGYEOL: Vocalist, freestyle rap god, in charge of butt muscle

Originally posted by minogf

  • he is kinda responsible for speaking during interviews X’D very charming u.u and when he smiles adfja DIMPLESDIMPLESDIMPLESDIMPLES
  • it might just be me but I often feel that his vocal skill is kinda overlooked
  • but that’s because his freestyle rap skill is no joke /seriousface
  • can play piano, and guitar 
  • his real name is Minsoo, but he was supposed to be called Beomdeuk, which is why you can hear members call him like that sometimes 
  • he seems to be close to Teen Top’s Niel, this legendary butt muscle moment will go down in history (at least in mine)
  • the term “flower boy” is made for him tbh, he has lots of charms and just like Kuhn, he appears to be cold at first, but I swear he is just acting ‘noble’(=the meaning of his stage name) to hide his super bubbly side ;3;

oh crap I just realized how long this is getting orz, so i ll do other members under the cut. oh, but wait, before I do so, please allow me to leave Wei’s gif here first u.u (his forehead can’t be stopped!)

WEI: Rapper, in charge of height, actual ‘nagging monster’ of the group

Originally posted by wando-tomato

Keep reading

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 9)
  • "I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone."
  • "I long for that feeling to not feel at all."
  • "The higher I get, the lower I'll sink."
  • "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."
  • "I'll let you ruin my day."
  • "Make me your mess again."
  • "I’m in love with an angel."
  • "I could never set you free."
  • "It’s time I let you go."
  • "I could never pretend that I don't love you."
  • "You wait so long."
  • "Liven up, honey, it ain't that bad."
  • "Nothing happens in this burnt out town anymore."
  • "I'm just a raindrop in a river."
  • "You know that I'm doomed to repeat this with all the bad habits that I've learned."
  • "It's love that keeps fueling me."
  • "I know I’m not that perfect."
  • "Don’t give up, baby, I know that it's shaky."
  • "Just let love consume us."
  • "You make everything okay."
  • "Save me if I become my demons."
  • "I cannot stop this sickness taking over."
  • "I need your help, I can't fight this forever."
  • "Do you remember that Philly porch panic attack, and the late night talks on the balcony?"
  • "I’ve been finding comfort spending the day time in bars."
  • "I’m finally realizing that home doesn’t have an address."
  • "Do you remember cherry cheeks on Chicago nights, and the late night talks in other people’s living rooms?"
  • "Do you remember sleeping sitting up and the late night talks in every state we’ve been in?"
  • "I thought you'd notice what caused this change in me."
  • "I just want to help with shit you're going through, and if I said I didn't darlin', it wasn't true."
  • "There are some times when I really don't want your help... I feel too much guilt involving you."
  • "All I really want is to kill some time with you."
  • "I'd rather unrequited love than none at all."
  • "The last thing that I want to see is you to fall."
  • "I had me a boy, turned him into a man."
  • "I let him go."
  • "They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave."
  • "I get high, and I love to get low."
  • "I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep."
  • "You go home alone."
  • "It's not too bad, babe."
  • "You want to be like your big sis."
  • "This is wrong, but who am I to judge?"
  • "We're one mistake from being together."
  • "You won't be seventeen forever and we can get away with this tonight."
  • "You are young and I am scared."
  • "You're wise beyond your years."
  • "Will you remember me?"
  • "How could I forget?"
  • "I don't know what I've done or if I like what I've begun."
  • "I don't know who I am without you, all I know is that I should."
  • "I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you."
  • "She will love you more than I could."
  • "I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call."
  • "You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all."
  • "When I signed my deal, I felt pressure."
  • "I never wanted more."
  • "I don't have money on my mind, I do it for the love."
  • "I'm not a puppet, I will work against your strings."
  • "This love won't last long if what I've been told is right."
  • "We've still got tonight."
  • "Do you wanna go out with me?"
  • "Do you wanna come round mine for dinner, meet my folks and family?"
  • "Do you wanna go out, or come home with me?"
  • "It's pointless, these games we play, because they always end the same."
  • "I think I love you."
  • "Your love is like something I've never tasted."
  • "I kinda like what you're making me do."
  • "I want you."
  • "I walked by and I had to have you."
  • "I think it's unfair, your situation."
  • "You say I'm changing, sorry, I didn't know I had to stay the same."
  • "Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me insane."
  • "I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet."
  • "So high tonight and I don't feel like coming down."
  • "I could lie to you all my days, but you're the one."
  • "You're the one and I'm a fool for waiting so long to let you know."
  • "There's something in between you and I."
  • "I could run for the life of me, but where would that get me?"
  • "For some unknown reason, our status will remain as friends."
  • "You've got me eating out of the palms of your hands."
  • "There was not a single spark when my lips landed on yours in the dark."
  • "Regardless of what happens next, you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet."
  • "You and I both know that we are a lost cause."
  • "Tonight I made a secret oath to keep chasing after you."
  • "I know you love how all this music's about you."
  • "I know that you still miss me."
  • "Should we give up or save it?"
  • "Did you have to turn your back when forever didn't last?"
  • "Have you even looked back once?"
  • "I miss you... is it still okay to say it?"
  • "I know that it's too late, but..."
  • "Feel the same for different reasons."
  • "We're used to bein' so discouraged."
  • "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?"
  • "I don't love him."
  • "My God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles."
  • "Wanna hold him... maybe I'll just sing about it."
  • "2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song."
  • "She means every little thing to me."
  • "It could have been different, but people don't change."
  • "I just wanted to be free from the secrets and the ghosts that have been chasing after me."
  • "Are you afraid? The pressure's building."
  • "But life will be better, isn't that what you said?"
  • "I know what you did."
  • "You can't say 'nevermind' forever."
  • "You're awful, I love you."
  • "You suck so passionately."
  • "How's your new boy? Does he know about me?"
  • "You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature."
  • "I'm not sure what this is gonna be."
  • "It's hard to love again, when the only way it's been, when the only love you knew just walked away..."
  • "If it's something that you want, darling you don't have to run."
  • "You don't have to go."
  • "It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe."
  • "I've never opened up to anyone."
  • "We don't need to rush this."
  • "I don't want to mess this thing up, I don't want to push too far."
  • "You just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life."
  • "It's never felt so real, it's never felt so right."
  • "I don't want to say goodnight."
  • "I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams."
  • "You moved to west LA or New York or Santa Fe or wherever to get away from me."
  • "I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell because I really fell for you."
  • "I swear to you I'll be there for you."
  • "Now here you are again, so let's skip the "how you been and get down to the "more than friends" at last."
  • "There's nothing up my sleeve but love for you."
  • "So leave yourself intact 'cause I will be coming back."

anonymous asked:

I need help.. my boyfriend broke up with me and I know it sounds childish but I don't know how I feel anymore. I told myself I was going to be okay but I'm not okay anymore. He moved on so quick as if nothing ever happened to us and I'm trying to act if I feel the same but I can't anymore. Everything's crumbling down..

i just read this post so i dont own this

Don’t shut down. You have to feel pain because once you turn it off, you can’t get it back. And then you’re left prying open your veins and breaking your bones, drowning in vodka, choking on pills, bleeding out, swallowing cigarettes, fucking boys who rip your heart out of your chest and slam it against the wall and then smile at you like you’re the prettiest thing in the room. It turns out that feeling nothing feels worse than anything else.

Cut him out of your life. It doesn’t matter how many times he called you beautiful and told you he loved you. I know he was a sweet guy but he’s not the same person anymore. He hurt you. He doesn’t deserve to occupy a thought in your head let alone drown you in your own tears. I know you loved him. Maybe you always will. But if you want to stay alive, you’ve got to let him go. Delete your old texts with him because baby I swear to god you will read over all the “I love you’s” and “baby girl’s” and you will crack your ribs with them.

3. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay slide down a wall in tears at three in the morning aching and screaming. If you want to sit on your bedroom floor with your head buried in your knees, tears spilling out of your eyes and filling the room up to your waist, do it. It doesn’t make you weak. You could never be weak. You’re alive and that’s the hardest thing to be. I’m so proud of you. Always.

4. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. When you’re at a party and you’re sitting next to a boy who’s words are dripping with cheap alcohol and he’s grabbing your thigh and spitting liquor down your neck in sloppy kisses, push him off you. You don’t owe him anything. You’re not being mean or hurting his feelings. If you’re not okay, leave.

5. Don’t hurt yourself. If you think you feel shitty now, imagine how terrible you’re going to feel when you accidentally cut too deep and you feel your life spilling out of your wrists. I know you want to get rid of him and the heartbreak he left behind. I know you want to get rid of the numbness and the headaches and the shaky hands. I know you want to get rid of the pain. But when you’re lighting your skin on fire or tearing into your veins, you’ve got pain spilling out of your bones. But you’re dripping everything good too. You’ve got a tangle of outer space inside of you and you can’t lose the darkness between the stars without losing the stars too.

6. Save yourself first. I know you’re in love with a pretty boy who writes you poetry and slits your wrists. I know he falls asleep crying. But so do you. I know he’s your world. I know you’re in love. But you can’t be up at four in the morning talking him out of suicide when you’ve got six tests the next day. You can’t stop him from ripping his heart out when you’re still trying to figure out how to get yours beating again. You can’t save him. You’ve just got to love him with all you’ve got. You have to love yourself too.

7. Terminate toxic relationships. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You need to be self-preserving for once in your fucking life. When your best friend kisses the boy you would die for, stop sleeping on her floor when she calls you crying because she got her heart broken by a boy who’s name she couldn’t remember. When your father kicks you out of the house and tells you he wants you gone, stay gone. When your boyfriend comments on how much you’ve been eating and makes you feel guilty for feeling the world, delete his number. You don’t need people dragging you down. You don’t need anybody poising you. You’ve got enough pain already.

8. It gets better. I know right now you’re on the verge of killing yourself. You’re on the edge and you’re waiting for the fall. But there’s nothing good at the bottom, just a lot of broken bones and blood and sore throats. I know how much you want to die and I know how hard it is to stay but you have to. Because one day you’re going to wake up smiling. You’re going to fall in love and your heart will stay whole. You’re going to travel and swim in the ocean and you’re not going to pray that you drown. You’re going to go for a drive in the middle of the night and feel free instead of hoping you crash. You’re going to be alright.