swear platform

Today, on weird, entirely useless things about me that you didn’t need to know:

I know how to get clean, fresh water from the ocean(well, any body of water) using only cling wrap, two sticks, a few rocks, and three buckets

Okay I know someone prompted me for this but I can’t find the ask??? But here u go. Sweet Egobang coming out kissy goodness.
I’m on mobile so later I’ll add a read more.

Arin wonders how they’ve gotten into the topic of sexuality again. Dan has been asking a lot of questions lately, and even though he himself isn’t all too knowledgeable on a lot of it, he’s been trying to help Dan learn stuff that he’s curious about.

“She said that from what I put out there online, she thought I was pansexual.” Dan shifts his position on the couch, unfolding one of his legs from underneath his body and wrapping his arms around it. His chin rests on his knee. “I just said ‘okay, cool’ because I didn’t want to admit that I had no fucking idea what that meant.” Arin looks over at Dan. He’s chewing on his bottom lip and Arin wants to tug it from between his teeth before he damages the skin. “What does it mean?”

“Okay, so you know how when you’re bisexual you’re just into two genders?” Arin asks.

“Yeah.”

“Well-”

“Wait, with bisexuality can you be into any two genders or does it have to be dudes and girls?”

This gives Arin pause. “I think that one of them has to be your gender? And the other one can be whatever. I think. Don’t quote me on that.”

“Oh I’m gonna quote you hard on that,” Dan teases and Arin shoves him lightly. “Okay, okay, sorry. Go on with your sexplanation.”

Arin groans loudly, exasperated. “Daniel, please.” The older man giggles and Arin rolls his eyes. “So pansexuality,” he begins loudly, “is when you are into everybody. Like, you don’t care what gender they are.”

“Oh. So it’s like a wider form of bisexuality?” Dan questions and again, Arin is proud that Dan wants to learn about this stuff.

“Yeah, I guess. It encompasses nonbinary and agender, I think it is?” Arin goes quiet for a moment while he tries to make the jump to the next platform, swearing loudly when he misses and his character dies. “Assballs!”

Dan starts laughing again and he leans against Arin. He’s warm and he smells like the woods and the pleasant musk of his aftershave.

“Wait,” Dan says when his giggles die down, “you didn’t mention transgender when you explained pansexuality.” He’s still leaning against Arin and he’s uncurled himself a bit, stretching his long, grasshopper-like legs towards the other end of the couch. It’s a sign that he’s not planning on moving away from Arin any time soon.

“Well, trans dudes are dudes and trans chicks are chicks so I guess I just put 'em with boys and girls cause that’s what they are,” Arin explains.

“That makes sense.”

“Like in my case, I’m into everybody. If I wanna kiss you I wanna kiss you.”

Suddenly the warmth by his side is gone and when he looks over, Dan is staring at him with wide eyes and his mouth is hanging open.

Shit. Shit fuck assballs.

Dan fumbles until he hits the pause button on the capture and he scribbles an illegible number on the time slot, and he turns back to look at Arin, who looks just as surprised as he himself feels.

“Did… Are you serious?”

Arin sets down the controller and puts his head in his hands. “Whoops.”

“Whoops? What the hell does that mean?” Dan’s not sure why his voice sounds so panicked and before he speaks again he makes an effort to level it out. “Did you just come out on Game Grumps?”

“Whoops,” Arin repeats. His brain has short circuited and has started going in loops, repeating every curse he can think of. What the fuck did he just do? It’s not like he’s been subtle about it, but he’s always played it off as a joke. Ha ha he wants to fuck dudes and suck dick ha ha.

The warmth of Dan’s hand on his arm shocks him out of his thoughts, and when he looks up, Dan is looking at him with concern.

“Hey,” he begins, “we can take a break. The episode can be scrapped.”

Does he want it scrapped? His mouth opens and closes for a few moments. He’s not ashamed. He’s just not sure he wants to deal with suddenly being thrust into the role of a 'queer icon’ or whatever the fuck he had basically been dubbed when someone had tried to make him come out as bisexual. When he was younger he identified as bi, but he felt that that label didn’t fit him anymore.

“Arin?” Dan lightly squeezes his friend’s arm to regain his attention. “It’s okay if you don’t want that to be public knowledge yet, or even ever.”

“Let’s… let’s do the outro and I’ll think about it.” Dan nods, but he’s still concerned. His own mind is going a mile a minute. He can’t stop wondering whether those 'jokes’ had ever been jokes at all.

They’re sitting in Dan’s car in the parking lot of In and Out Burger. Arin is almost done with his burger and Dan is picking at his fries. He’s got the driver’s seat pushed as far back as it goes and he’s turned to face Arin.

The silence is oppressive and Dan hates it. Arin is the one person other than his grandma that he can always feel comfortable with. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Arin sighs and puts down his burger. “I don’t know what there is to talk about. I’m pansexual or fluid or whatever.”

Dan is silent for a long moment while he debates on whether or not to ask the question that’s floating around in his head. It’ll make him sound like an asshole and that’s the last thing he wants. He’s not entirely sure he’s even allowed to be upset, but he is.

Dan picks at one of the holes in his jeans, and Arin nudges him. “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dan asks quietly while refusing to meet Arin’s eyes.

“I didn’t think it was important.” Dan frowns and looks up at his friend. Tentatively, he reaches out and takes Arin’s hand.

“It’s something about you and it’s part of who you are. Of course it’s important, Arin.” Arin can feel the heat rush to his cheeks. Dan rubs his thumb absentmindedly over the soft skin of Arin’s hand. “You’re important,” he adds, so quiet that Arin almost misses it.

“Danny,” he begins, but Dan cuts him off.

“Were–were all those times you… joked about us… together… we’re they actually jokes?” Arin has never seen Dan this flustered before, but he still hasn’t let go of his hand, instead opting to fiddle with Arin’s 'thinking ring’, spinning it back and forth between his long fingers.

“I mean, yeah… Unless, uh, you’d be down with it if I wasn’t.” Dan’s head jerks up so fast that he thinks he might’ve pulled something. They stare at each other, unblinking, until Dan speaks.

“I… might be? I’ve been… curious, I guess?” Arin can’t believe what he’s hearing. Dan is still holding his hand and spinning the ring.

“Curious?” Arin asks the question carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll startle Dan into changing his mind.

This situation is so fucking surreal. Sitting in Dan’s Nissan at one in the morning in the deserted parking lot of In N Out Burger, hearing words he had only ever fantasized he would get to hear. They feel strangely isolated, like they’re in their own little corner of the world. The tension is thick, and Arin can taste it on his tongue. Something in their dynamic has suddenly shifted and he can’t tell whether it’s a good thing or not yet.

“Yeah. I mean, you know me, right? Straight as an arrow.” He giggles nervously. “But I’m… I’m starting to wonder what it would be like to kiss you?” Arin feels just as goddamned confused as Dan sounds. “It should be freaking the EVER living fuck out of me but it’s not, and that in and of itself is freaking me out.” Danny pauses for breath and takes a second to gauge Arin’s reaction. His honeyed eyes are wide but he doesn’t look upset–only surprised, and something Dan can’t really identify. He barrels on with what he was saying. “I mean, I know you’re married and everything and fuck, being a home wrecker is the last thing I want cause I love you and Suzy so much, and–”

“Dan,” Arin interjects, “shut up.”

Before he can process it, Arin has closed the gap between them and they’re kissing. His mustache tickles Dan’s nose a little, but the feeling of facial hair scratching at his skin doesn’t make him panic like he thought it would. His free hand, the one not clutching Arin’s like a lifeline, cups Arin’s face. Their lips move together sweetly and Dan really doesn’t want to pull away, but the nagging in the back of his head finally wins out.

“Suzy-” he chokes out, and Arin kisses him again, just a quick press of lips this time.

“It’s okay,” he assures him. “We, uh, we’ve talked about it before.”

“W-what?” Danny splutters.

“She okayed it… us. I told her it would never fucking happen, but I guess I was wrong.” He smiles, and Dan can’t help but smile too.

“I’m glad you were wrong,” Dan says, and kisses Arin again.

how could anyone possibly think that voting for donald trump is a good idea? like oooooh yeah, extremist nationalism with a heaping spoonful of racist bullshit, that always ends well