Dreams and Nightmares

Katherine woke up, startled.  For a moment she didn’t realize where she was or with who, then Jim’s arms tightened around her and she remembered.  Didn’t help her calm down any, though.  She managed to get out of his arms without waking him and grabbed a robe, then walked out into her backyard after grabbing a glass of whiskey.  She sipped it, trying to shake the nightmare she’d had.  She knew it wasn’t true, knew Jim was different than Alex, but….having him move in was huge.  And she was scared to death.  And her subconscious was having a fucking field day.  Playing “Alex’s Greatest Hits” with Jim in the starring role.


Katherine took another sip and stared at the ring Jim had given her on her right hand.  She bit her lip and tried to keep from crying.  She hadn’t had a ring like this since….well, since.  She wanted Jim to be here…with her.  She needed it more than she was willing to admit.  He made her feel safe enough to try and live again….and now she was wondering if she was too scared to even try.  One more thing Alex had taken from her.  Jim was everything she’d ever wanted, everything she’d thought Alex had been….before it had all changed.  And she couldn’t get rid of the small voice inside her head telling her she didn’t deserve it.  Once Jim moved in, he’d try to change her too.  Was how it always worked, right?


She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt a tear drip off her cheek.  She wiped it away and took another sip of whiskey, watching the sky lighten.  She’d said yes….maybe she could still change her mind.  It would break her heart, but it would keep it safe…  Safe and cold, more likely.  She drained the glass and put it down, crying into her hands.