swan scene

Tangled Up In Blue ‘Deleted Scene’

Chapter 3: Beautiful and Broken

Summary: Killian meets Emma for the first time (Killian’s POV)

Notes: This isn’t much, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for months, and I didn’t have anything more to add to it without going into a different scene, so I just decided to post it. I didn’t want to repeat the entire scene, so it’s mainly just his thoughts.

*TRIGGER WARNING* Mentions of domestic violence

Read from the beginning: Tangled Up In Blue

Deleted Scenes: 1 2

Also available on: AO3 FFN

It had been a particularly long day at the clinic as Killian made his way down the corridor, nodding to various staff as he passed. It was busy that morning, lots of hustling and bustling to get to one appointment to the next. Killian regretted staying out so late the night before, when Liam talked him into going to another bar after Killian had made it perfectly clear that he was not interested.

It wasn’t that Killian wasn’t grateful for Liam and his attempts at getting him “back on the sailboat,” as his brother would put it. Killian was lucky to have a brother who cared so much, who was willing to be his wingman, trying to scout out every attractive and available woman he could, to chat her up and then introduce to Killian if she seemed acceptable enough.

However, even if there was the slightest hint of a connection between Killian and this lass, he couldn’t fathom the possibility of being with someone other than his Milah. If connection and good looks were what Killian sought after, he’d have probably asked Dr. Tink out a long time ago. He just wasn’t the outgoing, free-spirited, ‘hook up with a stranger from a bar’ type of lad.

No, he had become more of a lone wolf since his wife’s passing, and was perfectly content with that. He was perfectly content with the company he was acquainted with at work. The many amazing, kind-hearted women who passed through the doors of the clinic - those were the women he cared to conversate with, those were the women who gave him life.

Taking over the clinic was of course more challenging than he’d ever imagined, but his patients and staff helped get him through the day. It had helped heal him in a way he couldn’t quite understand. Although, he always felt like something was missing in his life. A void he couldn’t seem to fill.

Killian grabbed the file from the door, ready for his next appointment as he scanned over the patient’s information.

Emma Swan, twenty-seven year old female, seventeen weeks pregnant, experiencing mild abdominal pains.

Killian looked up from the chart with a curious expression. Not only was she a new patient, but he’d never heard of her before. He was hoping that it wasn’t one of the lasses from out of town who he’d met at the bar. That had happened on occasion, so he always expected it when he didn’t recognize a patient - because he knew every female in Storybrooke. He’d given most of them at least a pap smear at one point or another.

Killian entered the room, not really knowing what to expect.

After shutting the door, he turned around to face the woman who sat on the exam table, and what he saw shocked him to his very core. She wasn’t one of his usual patients, that was for sure.

“Miss Swan is it? I’m Dr. Killian Jones.”

Killian maintained a friendly demeanor when he greeted her, but inside, he felt his heart squeezing so much, he thought it might burst. This blonde, pregnant woman sitting on the bed reminded him of Milah right off the bat. There was pain in her eyes, and not the pain from a broken heart. No, this was a different kind completely. He’d recognized the look in her eyes because his late wife had the same look before she had run away with him.

He could spot a battered woman from miles away. The hopelessness, the wreckage, the mile-high walls, the fear, the distrust.

Although, there was something else lingering there as well, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe determination?

Emma shook her head, speaking in a stumbled slur. “You can’t be my doctor…”

Killian was disappointed, but the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable. In fact, he was relieved when she told him she wanted a different OBGYN. Then she changed her mind, and all of a sudden his entire body was quivering, but he did his best not to let it show. He couldn’t bare the thought of putting his hands on a battered woman, even if it were for medical purposes. Especially when Emma started crying in front of him.

His heart broke into a million pieces.

He decided he would do whatever he could to help her, even though he discovered she was leaving and he would probably never see her again.

After the appointment, Killian walked Emma to the exit doors, and she flashed him a broken smile, but it was beautiful at the same time.

Beautiful and broken.

“It was very nice to meet you Miss Swan. Best wishes to you,” Killian managed, pulling out a card from his pocket and handing it to her. “If you do need anything or have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to call my cellphone, day or night.”

“Thank you.” Emma glanced at the card before tucking it into her bag. “Goodbye, Dr. Jones.”

“Goodbye, Miss Swan.”

With that, she turned around, and Killian watched as she walked out of the clinic.

For years, Killian had felt empty inside since his wife died. Even his brother couldn’t get past his extremely high walls, but somehow, his heart tugged in a way it hadn’t in a very long time.

Slipping his hands into the pocket of his lab coat, he walked over to the windows of the waiting room, his eyes fixated on her as she got into her yellow bug. She reminded him of Milah so much, it was frightening. Of course, they looked nothing alike, but the fear that was a stable component in Emma’s eyes and facial expressions, was the same.

All of the emotions he felt when he first met Milah came rushing back to him.

Killian captured and savored every last second he could of Emma until she started pulling away, as though he were trying to imprint her into his memories permanently.

“Dr. Jones… your next patient is ready for you.”

Killian craned his neck, flashing the nurse a small smile. “Thank you.” With one final glance of the blonde who was driving out of the parking lot, he had to peel himself away from his spot in front of the window before turning around and heading to his next appointment.

Even though he would never see her again, Killian knew he would never be the same again.

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