Plus size brands that carry larger sizes should do more editorials featuring women who are those sizes. We exist. We come in a variety of shapes other than hourglass. We love to see what clothes look like on our bodies. Sizes 4X and 5X are underrepresented in the plus size fashion industry.
It isn’t about whether or not our body types are popular or ideal… or whether or not anyone else thinks we’re beautiful, marketable or attractive. It’s about representing a larger spectrum of size and shape. We can feel as beautiful as we want to feel and look as beautiful as we want to look. Show us that we are unapologetically invited and included!
In August 2013 I was five months post-craniotomy (I had a troublesome little brain tumor that needed removing). I’m a “sweller”. I swell up after trauma (it’s just how my body likes to cope). My face and head were swollen. My belly and whole body was swollen. Nothing fit me. I had a difficult time moving.
And, nothing… no warning… no support groups… no literature… could have prepared me for the intense APATHY I felt after surgery. It was like I was suddenly this emotional void of nothingness. A swollen uncomfortable pained black hole.
I didn’t want to die… but, I didn’t care if I lived. Prior to surgery I was driven… hopeful… ambitious. When the apathy started to dissolve a bit and I started to “feel” about stuff… it was all horrible emotions. I felt guilty for existing. I felt angry at how hard it was. I felt like I wanted my tumor back. Weird, I know… but, it was the evil I was used to. This was a new struggle. I had absolutely no handle on it (or myself) anymore.
I had a hard time moving. I had seizure issues and left sided weakness. I hated being in my body.
Then… I found a reason to leave the house twice a week. I started this Tumblr. I got into fashion! And, it saved me.
A lot of people think that it’s “narcissistic”… or “self-centered”… But, it helped me see myself in a new way. Fashion gave me something to look forward to… and something to leave the bedroom for.
We started going to parks and beaches to take photos. I’d have to walk slowly and deliberately. I’d have to prop myself up, in the beginning. We’d have to take LOTS of photos because most of them were of me looking exhausted or slumped over. We had to keep shooting and shooting until there was just a flicker of the person I used to be. I remember the beach… and girls standing nearby pointing and laughing at me. But, there was something stronger inside of me screaming “Show that camera that you are more than this.”
I’d look at the photos of myself… and I started to see possibility. I started to see someone that deserved to live… and enjoy life!
My wonderful husband (who went through hell with me… and stuck with me) saw fashion as a big part of my recovery. He had totally lost the person that he knew and loved. It was hard as fuck. <<Emphasis on the swearing!! It was stressful.
Nobody looked at my fashion photos and realized that those photos represented about 20-60 minutes of “going outside”. Those photos represented the best and strongest moments of my life. While other plus fashion bloggers were taking the subway in New York to go to some busy shopping mall to try on clothes and blog dressing room photos… I was limping to lean against a tree until I felt like throwing up… and then I’d get in the car and go home and have to get back into bed or a chair. But, nobody realized that. And, it made me STRONGER…
As I was able… I stretched in bed… we went for walks… we went for weekend hikes… I started corset training (to get the swelling in my abdomen to go down). I started standing and walking more and more.
That little flicker I had to force in the beginning… suddenly burst into a bonfire, one day. I was overjoyed. It was short lived… but, easier and easier to be happy!
I decided this last winter to get back into ballet training. It is another thing that has helped me reconnect with my body (my body remembers what to do). My left side is still problematic (it might be for the rest of my life… but, I’m not going to think about that right now). Now… I’m training in pointe shoes.
I went from being barely able to stand by myself a year ago… to being able to get up en pointe.
I don’t really have an end to this blog entry in mind… because I’m still healing and struggling. I still spend a lot of time horizontal (my brain shuts down and it’s just time to sleep). But, I spend more and more time being active and happy as my body lets me.
Stuff like this isn’t easy. And, it takes a long time to claw out of a hole that deep. But, it’s worth it!
I’m not sure how the heck I ended up getting thousands of people looking at this Tumblr… or how I ended up with even a single follower! <3 Thank you…
And with that… I conclude my “One Year Tumblr” post with my current battle cry: FOR THE JOY OF IT!!!!!
Kentucky is finaaaaally warming up enough to dress for spring, so I took the opportunity to dress up with some season appropriate pieces! This outfit is by SWAK Designs - a new site I’ve been reviewing.
Top ~ SWAK (1x) Skirt ~ SWAK (2x) Shoes ~ Not Rated via Journeys (11) Belt & Bracelet ~ Torrid (2) Rings ~ DIY Flower Crown ~ Petalprops on Etsy
The top I’m wearing is actually full length, but for the purpose of this outfit I decided to tuck it under my skirt. It’s incredibly flowy/oversized while still maintaining a nice shape to it. The material is, again, super soft and a real joy to wear. I’ve been wearing it with jeans for a more casual/basic (and ridiculously comfortable) look and I love it styled like that as well.
The skirt is absolutely lovely and perfect for the spring/summer. The chiffon overlay is very light and flowy, while the lining underneath is stretchy and hugs to you appropriately so you feel covered up even when the wind decides to rear it’s head. The color is just gorgeous and I can’t wait to pair this with numerous crop tops and vests for the upcoming seasons. If you’re looking for a plus size skirt for this summer then this is a great option.
So as you can tell, this company has another two thumbs up from me and I can’t wait to explore more of their collection. To see my other outfit featuring their pieces, click: here.
Typically I only post pictures of outfits where I took extra time to piece it together and to also do my hair/makeup. I don’t want to give off the false impression that I look like that on a constant basis. Most days I really do not feel like putting on makeup, messing with my hair, putting on a bra, or piecing together a cohesive outfit. So this is what I look like on the average day when I want to get ready in 5-10 minutes. My hair/dress were kind of giving me witchy vibes, so I’m pretty fond of this.
Dress ~ SWAK Designs Shoes ~ Journeys Flower Crown ~ Petalprops via Etsy Bag ~ Titinastore via Etsy
When trendy plus size fashion site SWAK designs reached out to me to style a few pieces, I was thrilled! The adorable Hailey eyelet dress is perfect for spring and turquoise is one of my favorite colors. This dress can be easily worn in a number of ways and its great with a denim jacket and some wedges or boots! You can find the Hailey Eyelet Dress at www.swakdesigns.com in white, turquoise and black.
Today I have another outfit featuring a dress that SWAK so kindly sent me to try out!
Dress ~ SWAK Designs (3X) Belt ~ ASOS Curve (20) Shoes ~ Torrid (11) Hat ~ Ebay
The dress I’m wearing is called the Stella Floral and it’s obviously right up my alley. The color combination on this is just stunning and I absolutely love the mix of bright pastel blue with floral purples and pinks. As has been the trend with my items from SWAK - the material is incredibly soft, comfortable, stretchy, and overall just a pleasure to wear. I would definitely recommend this piece, but if it’s not your style..they have a whole line of other stunning plus size dresses, too.