MARDI GRAS 2K15 WAS AMAZING!!!!!! Our group went off and i am honestly so blessed that i was able to dance along side my mother. I’m so happy that she decided to get the group into parading (back in 2012) because everyone has the best time!! not only are you around super genuine people, but you’re around so much love and good vibes that it makes you forget about all the stresses it took to prepare!!!!!! it’s days like these where I see my parents so for equal rights that makes me regret not coming out to them yet but i hope that when i do they’ll understand why i waited so long!!!! thank you mum & dad for everything.
My feet were killing me. Elijah’s face was covered in
chocolate ice cream just like Calums was covered in Strawberry ice-cream.
It wasn’t even his favorite flavor.
It was mine.
Luke, Ashton, and Michael sat with me their living room.
Calum and Eli went out to the back yard to play soccer.
“He doesn’t know does he?”
They all shook their heads and I sighed in relief. “But now
you have to tell him. You’re back in Sydney and now he isn’t going to let you
go again. You’ve set yourself up.” Luke said, matter-of-factly.
I sighed again; this wasn’t getting easier.
“I know but I can’t. At least not now. It’ll will ruin him
and his career. And he’ll hate me for depriving him of something so important.
I don’t want that.”
It grew quiet until Michael said something.
“Well, what does the kid think about his father?”
“He doesn’t hate him. I tell him that it was important for
me to leave him. Every time he asked what his name was I always changed the
subject or I just said it wasn’t important. I told him I was the one left. That
his daddy loved me very much, and I loved him, but his job was very important.”
My eyes were tearing up and I looked down into my lap. I
felt a hand rubbing my back and I looked up to see Ashton looking down at me
with gentle eyes.
“Either way, y/n, you still need to tell him. He deserves to
know.” He said softly. I nodded. “I guess I’ll have to—”
My phone rang with an unknown number. “Hello?” I cleared my
throat. “Hi Miss-
“Well, your mother is at the ER.”
I stood up quickly. “What? Why?!” My heart raced. “Well, she
had a heart attack while you were gone with your son. Her care-giver stopped by
and saw her on the floor. She’s at the hospital getting treatment, but at this
rate, she may not be able to cope with it. Especially since at her early age
her body hasn’t fully matured with the fact that she was already ill.”
I covered my mouth. “O-okay, I’m on my way.” I said after
processing what he had said through my mind. “Okay. Please hurry.”
I hung up the phone. Please
hurry. How often does a Doctor
ask a patients daughter to come ASAP? Not often.
I hurried toward the back yard, “Eli!” I called. He had
grass stains on his jeans and dirt marks on his face. His hair was messed up
and sweat slid down his face. “What?”
“Come on, we have to go.” I walked out onto the frosted
grass. “But why? Can’t we wait till tomorrow?”
There might not be a tomorrow
I thought to myself. “No. We have to go. Grandma called us and she misses
us.” I lied. “But–”
“No. No buts.” I snapped. He sighed as he walked over to me.
“Y/n, can I talked to you for a moment?”
I finally realized Calums existence which I had been
ignoring all day.
I looked from Eli to Calum. “We really have to go, Calum.” I
hissed. He cringed, “I know but… please?” He pleaded. His eyes looked desperate.
“Fine, but please make it quick.”
He pulled me aside as I told Eli to go inside. “Why do you
have to go so quickly?” He asked. “Quickly? We’ve been together for the 8
hours.” I shot back.
“I mean, now?”
While looking at him, I saw nothing but Elijah. My heart
told me to tell him right now, but my mind told me to wait.
I went with my mind.
I sighed. “My mum is in the hospital. She’s really sick. She
had a heart attack while we were gone. The hospital called a few minutes ago
and said that her condition is Critical. I’m sorry, Calum. But we really have
to go.” I went to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist. “Let him stay here. Do
you really think bringing a 3 year old boy around that place to see his sick grandmother
is a good idea?”
I sighed. “Calum I can’t do that.”
“You know why.” I tore my wrist from his grasp. “Because of
I didn’t say a word. “You’re not going to let him stay
because of me? Because we have a history? Because you may or may not have
another person on your life that could not love more than I ever have? Because
he isn’t my kid? Because you don’t trust me?!”
I flinched at his loud voice. I started to tea up again at
his voice. “I’m not talking about this right now. You don’t know anything.”
“Then when? When can we talk about this? Because we
apparently need to.” He pressed on. “We can’t! Calum we aren’t apart of each
other lives anymore! We broke up three years ago!” I yelled back.
He lowered his head to the ground. “Just let him stay here.
“Fine. But I won’t be back till tomorrow. I swear, if any of
you let him get hurt—”
“We won’t. I swear.” He looked down at me with a smile.
I returned inside the house to find the boys in laughing fit
with Elijah looking confused as ever. “I don’t see where Eli gets his humor
from.” Michael spoke up as they began to calm down. “Because it definitely isn’t
“Shut up will you?” Ashton jumped in quickly. “Oh yeah…”
I sighed. “Its fine, Mikey. And Eli, you can stay for the
“Yay! Why did you change your mind?”
“Because Calum begged me to.”
“He can sleep in my room.” I offered. “Good because mine is
a mess.” Mikey implied. Although he washes his hands 24/7 and is probably the
neatest one in the house. I chuckled and guided Elijah up to my room. I will
admit, there was some resemblance between us. But there are random people out
there in the world that look the same, right?
“What can I sleep in, though?”
I threw him a muscle shirt and climbed in bed. Eli soon
followed after he was done changing. “I had fun today.” He smiled at me as he
laid down. “I did too. You’re pretty good at soccer.”
“Mummy says I’ve been playing since I could walk, but I don’t
really remember doing that. She said it was because my daddy loved soccer and
she missed him a lot.” He stated. “Hm, was he good too?”
“I think he was. She used to tell me about a lot of things
he did. Things like he was a musician, he loved doggies, he was a great singer
and that he was ‘devilishly handsome’ as she likes to put it. She says the
really liked the small things about him. But I never really got why she left
before I was born. She said his job was really important. And she never told me
his name. She always changed the sentence. But she has this box that she keeps
on a really high shelf and I see her looking in it a lot. I think there’s
pictures in it of her and my daddy.” He rambled on. I was slightly angry; why
would she get pregnant and leave? Most importantly, why would he let her? She
was like a random person finding diamonds on the beach; very rare. People like
her never come around often.
“I wish I could’ve met him sometimes. She used to cry every day
because of him. Sometimes she still does.” He mumbled. “Which is why I love my
mummy with all my heart. She deserves a real man, which is what I wanna be for
her when I grow up. I want to take care of her and be an important person so
that I will make lots and lots of money for her because she so young and works
hard for me.”
The kid was humble, I’ll give him that. “Do you know where
your father is?”
“I don’t know. I know he lives in Sydney somewhere, so maybe
we’ll run into each other. But I don’t think so. There’s lots of different
people around here. How could it be possible at all for me to just run into
“I guess it’s not.” I muttered. “I know it’s not. I mean,
why did he let mommy leave? She’s an awesome person. She says he didn’t know
she was pregnant with me, but still if she could go through it all by herself,
then I think they both could handle it.” He huffed, clearly annoyed about the
subject. “But I don’t like to talk about it. Because although I’m sure I would
love my daddy, it makes me angry he would leave her.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve brought it up.” Even though I
didn’t I felt the need to say it.
It was quiet. “So have you ever been in love? Like you know,
as deeply as my mom was with my daddy?” He smirked. “I’ve had lots and lots and
lots of girlfriends. Sometimes they don’t even know! But when they try to kiss
me I get grossed out because every girl in the world except mummy has cooties.
Even grandma does! But mummy says it skipped her generation.”
I laughed harder than I should have. “I was in love, once.”
“Really? Do I know her? I probably do.”
“Yep, actually, you do.”
“Really who is it?”
[DEEZ NUTS. NO IM JP. SRSLY OKAY. SERIOUS TIME.]
I debated on whether or not I should tell him. “Well, you
don’t know her well. She left me almost 4 year ago.” I said. Slowly my brain
started to click. I went wide-eyed.
“When’s your birthday?” I asked. “Next month? Why?”
I shot up in bed.
Eli said that his father was a musician, that she loved him a
lot. That his work was important, that she left him, which she left before he
Why hadn’t it occurred to me before?
“What the matter?” He asked as he sat up in almost the same
position. “N-nothing.” I stuttered. He shrugged and laid back down. I took
notice of just how much he looked like me. “I’ll be right back.” I said. I
busted through the door and shut it behind me.
I ran down the hall and into the living room where the boys
sat watching a movie. “He’s mine.” I said in shock. The boys looked from one
another with a worried look. “Eli. He’s mine. At first I didn’t want to admit
it, but he is. He’s my child.”
They all stood up. It was quiet for a long time. “How did
you find out?” Luke spoke up.
I shot him an astonished look. “You knew?”
I questioned, not bother to hide the disgust dripping off my voice. “We all
did.” Ashton added. “For the past three years of my life, I wasted time
thinking that I wasn’t good enough for y/n. For the past three years all I’ve
wanted was an explanation of why she left me without a clue.” I spat, “But you
all knew and no one had the balls to tell me that the love of my life was
carrying my child!” I yelled. My chest heaved as I raged. I could feel my
boiling. “She made us promise. She didn’t want to ruin your life.” Michael
argued back. “What’s ruining my life is the fact that I was deprived of
something so important! It was my fault she got pregnant in the first place!
What the fuck, you guys?!”
They didn’t say anything. They knew I was right. “We were
supposed to be brothers. We’re supposed to tell each other everything!”
“Calum, this isn’t like telling you have a shit stain of the
back of your pants, mate, this is talking about another life being born in your
life. She was already getting enough hate because you two were in an open
relationship. Just imagine what her life would be like is the world found out
she was birthing your child!” Michael yelled back.
I hated to admit it, but he was right.
Elijah was my child. He had found his missing father.
But the real question was, was I the father he wanted me to