swag if you find these...you are welcome to play with them

Lee Jong Suk Fan Meeting

I’m assuming most of you who are reading this have no idea who Lee Jong Suk is, so let me introduce him to you–

He played a talented gay musician/producer who falls in love with popstar Oska in my favorite drama of all time, Secret Garden.

He had an epic bromance with Kim Woo Bin in School 2013. 

He was a competitive swimmer in No Breathing.

He won over our hearts in I Hear Your Voice.

He manages to be effortlessly cute…

…and handsome at the same time.

In short, I’ve loved him since I first saw him in Secret Garden year ago.

When I first found out about the fan meeting I was beyond thrilled! However, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect because I had never experienced one before. The tickets were only 40,000 won each so at that price there was no saying no!

I arrived to the fan meeting early because I had to pick up the tickets for Claire and I at will call and I wanted to make sure I could buy merchandise. 

After picking up the tickets, I grabbed our free goodie bags!

This is the bag it came in.

Jong Suk is the current face of Skin Food, so there was this Tomato special kit.

I can’t wait to try it out!

This mysterious bag…

With this water bottle inside! 믿어 (or mido) means “believe” or “trust”. During the fan meeting we found out that Jong Suk designed this water bottle himself!

This super cutie postcard was inside.

As was this packet.

It was a welcome kit for The Shilla which is a fancy mall for duty free shopping.

Look at all of these vouchers! Guess who’s going to be singing “I like to shop at the duty free shop”?

I easily made back the 40,000 won I spent on the ticket in the swag bag!

While I was waiting in line for merchandise another fan gave me this packet–

So cute!

There are three pictures of Jong Suk.

These two photocards.

And two each of these stickers!!

This is the merchandise I bought–

I kind of have a thing for lightsticks, so I couldn’t resist!

And I bought this shirt. We found out during the fan meeting that “megaton89” is Jong Suk’s ID for online games that he plays!

After this Claire and I grabbed lunch. I had a version of bibimbap (mixed rice) but under the rice was jajjang sauce, and the topping were salmon eggs, seaweed, lettuce, and a fried egg. Delicious!

We had about an hour to wait, so we checked out the rice wreaths.

Flower wreaths are traditional to send to congratulate someone, but they have evolved recently when it comes to fan meetings and concerts.

Fans come together to raise money to donate and with the flower wreath items like rice, eggs, or ramen will be donated in the name of the celebrity to people who can’t afford them. Isn’t that the most awesome thing you’ve ever heard of?

They had this set up so everyone could take pictures. Did I happen to mention that the fanmeeting was in honor of his 26th birthday?

Fans were invited to write birthday messages to Jong Suk and place them on this tree.

The tree was filled with messages!

This was the view of the fans milling about when I went to the bathroom. The theater the fan meeting took place in sat about 2,100 people. There were many fans from Japan, and China, but besides the three Russian girls we saw we were the only white girls in attendance. 

There was really a surprising mix of people. There were young people, old people (with grey hair), men, women, couples, fathers, and mothers. People of all stations in life love Lee Jong Suk!

This was from our seats. We were threatened before coming in that if we were caught taking pictures or video during the fan meeting our phones would be confiscated! 

I was so excited! While we were waiting here they started to play one of the songs from the Secret Garden soundtrack, Appear. It really touched me to the point of bringing tears to my eyes. Not only did it remind me of all of the repeated viewings of Secret Garden with my Mom, but it also reminded me of how long I have loved Jong Suk for! This was going to be a special night!

When we walked into the theater, we were each handed one of these banners–

On je na mido means “always believe/trust”. 

The back gave detailed instructions for a surprise event that us fans were going to pull off for his birthday. After the video that the fans made in honor of his birthday we all had to hold up these banners and say (in Korean of course) “Thank you for being born, I love you!” After that there were song lyrics on the very right of the banner for us to sing. But more about that later!

Lee Jong Suk came out a few minutes late. It was supposed to start at 5pm and he came out around 5:10. He started by singing a song for us. It was super endearing because even though he was by no means a great singer, he was obviously flustered at his lack of singing skills. He was so cute!

Then the MC for the night came out and went through a series of questions for Jong Suk relating to his body, starting from his head down to his toes. We got to find out about how he keeps his lips looking so beautiful, what color underwear he prefers to wear, and what kind of style he prefers for women to wear! This lasted around twenty or thirty minutes.

Then he had a quick outfit change (he described it as feeling like he was in a fashion show). He then revealed that his fan club would officially be named “With JS” after the fans voted for it. He cut a cake in honor of his official fan club name, and during this time he mentioned that he called Kim Woo Bin (remember him from School 2013?) to ask him if he could appear at the fan meeting but Woo Bin told him that he already had plans for today so he would be unable to attend.

Lee Jong Suk then answered ten questions that fans sent in prior to the event. Most of them revolved around his most recent drama, Doctor Stranger. Then taped happy birthday messages played from his friends Kim Woo Bin, Park Shin Hye (who is just so lovely and will be acting opposite of Jong Suk in the upcoming drama Pinocchio), Sistar’s Bora, and Park So Joon. 

After the messages a birthday cake was brought out for Jong Suk and all of the fans sang happy birthday and Jong Suk made a wish and blew out the candles. 

Suddenly, the song “Appear” started to play. We were all confused (even Jong Suk)! What was happening? 

Then, it happened. We heard this unmistakable deep voice…

The crowd went wild!

I lost my mind (literally)! I grabbed a hold of Claire’s hand so tightly and started to scream!

Kim Woo Bin came out!

He pulled off the ultimate surprise!!

As soon as Woo Bin and Jong Suk laid eyes on each other they ran into each others arms and embraced in one of the most loving hugs I have ever seen!

It was about a MILLION times more enthusiastic than this one!


After their initial few hugs, Jong Suk had to turn his back to us because he was crying so hard! Jong Suk couldn’t stop crying at seeing Woo Bin, he cried for a good five minutes! And upon witnessing this, Woo Bin started to cry too!

Even I started to cry! Witnessing this epic bromance that I have fully supported since the beginning in person was so touching and a moment I will NEVER forget! 

Jong Suk was barely able to collect himself and then ate some cake (Woo Bin even fed some to him personally). The MC also made Woo Bin solo sing “Happy Birthday” to Jong Suk and he choked up at the line “I love you Jong Suk~” (in the Korean version of “Happy Birthday” instead of saying “Happy Birthday dear Jong Suk~” they say “I love you Jong Suk~”). 

Woo Bin stayed for about twenty minutes and then had to run off because he was busy. You could really feel the love between the two of them as well as how much Jong Suk really appreciated Woo Bin coming! 

Then there was a raffle where Jong Suk picked ticket stubs and gave away two pieces of clothing that he wore from School 2013, two shirts he wore in photoshoots, and two autographed megaton89 shirts. When the lucky winners came up on stage to collect the clothes Jong Suk hugged each of them multiple times! Most of the girls were shocked beyond words and most of them were crying. 

After this a video was played that international fans put together for Jong Suk wishing him a happy birthday. Then was our banner surprise! We held up the banners, said our line and started to sing.

Lee Jong Suk was crying once again! He was so touched! As if I didn’t love him enough before, his true humbleness put me over the edge! He thanked us for coming and told us to get home safely and then the fan meeting was over. 

Lee Jong Suk was so adorable, cute, kind, and humble during the entire two hours that he spent with us. I could not have wished for a more perfect experience! 

Really Kim Woo Bin coming made this night one that I will never forget, not only was I treated to spending two hours with Lee Jong Suk, but getting to see Kim Woo Bin in all of his glory was a dream come true! 

What a magical night!

An Open Letter to Dan Howell

on June 11th, 2014, I was counseling two-week summer camp, fangirling because it was the 23rd birthday of a youtuber I had discovered only two months earlier. I spent lunch break that day watching his videos, giggling like an idiot.

and here I am, one year later, writing him a list of all the reasons he’s great.

now I know you don’t like your birthday; it’s a lot of unnecessary and unwanted attention. it’s people calling you and giving you presents, leaving you with the obligation to say “oh thank you” on repeat for at least a week.

but this is something you don’t have to say thank you for. don’t try to say “oh I’m nothing special” or be bashful; I’m simply telling the truth, and there’s no need to feel like you don’t deserve to hear the truth.

24 Reasons Why Dan’s Not a Fail (yay!) (in no particular order)

  1. He’s attractive. While looks are not everything, it would only be fair to include the fact that you’re cute. From your dimples to your cute lil tummy, everything about you is nice to look at (especially accidental model Dan Howell like that’s gr8.). 
  2. He’s intelligent. While you see your opinions and thoughts on things you’re passionate about as rambling or waffling, I personally find them to be well-thought-out and gracefully worded. That’s part of why I love your liveshows so much; I love hearing your thoughts on things you care about. I (and many others) would be so willing to just sit and listen to you talk for hours because when you feel strongly about something, everything you say about it is so well-put and eloquent and articulate.
  3. He’s successful. At 24 years old, you should be just out of college, still trying to find your place in the world. Instead, you’re living in London with your best friend and working for one of the largest radio companies in the world. You’ve met, interviewed, and played little games with countless celebrities. I mean you and your best friend have written a book and been in an Oscar-winning film for god’s sake, and that’s pretty damn incredible.
  4. He’s nerdy. You get really enthusiastic about anime and music and video games, which is extremely adorable. You whole-heartedly, completely unironically love so many things that most people I know would look at me strangely for liking, and I love that about you.
  5. He’s a survivor. From dropping out of university to the multiple existential crises, you made it. Even when you had no hope for yourself, even when all seemed pointless and you felt as though you had no worth, you kept going. You survived, and because of you, I survived too.
  6. He’s selfless. You care so much about others, sometimes more than yourself. You seem to go out of your way to help others, and that’s something not many people will do nowadays.
  7. He’s relatable. From your reflections on the universe to your fear of the dark (tbh same), people watch your videos and they understand where you’re coming from. Although it wasn’t until I started watching your videos that I started to realize that I have a place in the universe and became self-aware, which is both the greatest and worst thing to have happened to me in a while.
  8. He’s inspirational. Your videos have inspired so many people. More specifically, you’ve inspired me to start making youtube videos. It would be a dream to create content as creative and funny as yours, but just making the videos would be enough. 
  9. He’s heroic. From personal experience, you’re a hero. You - and many others - saved me from myself, saved me when I felt lost and hopeless and alone. Numerous people (including myself) are on the road to recovery from mental disorders because you helped them get there.
  10. He’s humble. You refuse compliments even though you deserve them. You don’t believe you’re anything special when you are. You don’t let people tell you how lovely you are, even though it’s one of the truest things about you.
  11. He’s sarcastic. You’re full of witty comments and sarcastic remarks. From one smart-ass to another, your sarcasm is just another great thing about you.
  12. He’s funny. From your “Danecdotes” to random comments in liveshows, your somewhat dry sense of humor paired with your sarcasm makes for a comedic style that cannot be replicated.
  13. He’s awkward. Just another relatable thing about you is that you’re awkward. As someone who is very prone to feeling alone in a crowded room or feeling overwhelmed in large crowds, I find knowing that you sometimes find yourself in the same situation a bit comforting.
  14. His ironic appreciation. Your ironic love for Comic Sans, swag, yolo, etc. is one of the dorkiest and cutest things I have ever seen. Although I do sometimes worry whether or not it’s all ironic.
  15. His meme-ness. There is no denying that you are meme trash (with a surprisingly good doge face), but you’re cute meme trash so it’s okay. (Also I - a stupid American - am now educated on how to speak Lad so thanks for that, too.)
  16. His laugh is contagious. Whether you’re laughing at one of Phil’s silly jokes or something else, I can’t help but laugh along with you.
  17. His smile is a beacon of light. Your smile is possibly one of the greatest things I have ever seen. You seem to light up a room whenever you’re happy, and your smile is just another thing that glows.
  18. His fashion sense. Although some of the things you wear might seem odd to some people (but they look damn good on you tbh), your wardrobe is something I envy. I always seem to find myself wondering “wow where did he get that shirt?”, occasionally paired with “holy shit I can’t afford that what the fuck is this?”
  19. His friendship with Phil. You and Phil’s friendship is one of the most genuine friendships I have ever seen. I can only hope that one day, I will find that companion. 
  20. His taste in music. Although I personally don’t listen to rap music, I love your appreciation for weird artists (also I used to hate Kanye but now I have a respect for his music). The first Muse song I ever heard was “Panic Station” on one of the old radio shows, and now they’re one of my favorite bands. An old friend originally introduced me to Fall Out Boy, and now - despite not really listening to them when he was still my friend - I own all of their songs (my favorite song is “Coffee’s For Closers” even though that’s irrelevant information). You introduced me to St. Vincent and My Chemical Romance, and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the 630-song iTunes library that reminds me that I’m alive. 
  21. He can play the piano. Despite your arguments that you’re bad at it, you’re actually really good. As a matter of fact, I asked my mom if she would teach me to play because of you. I actually taught myself three songs; well, part of three songs (the intro to “Welcome to the Black Parade”, the intro to “The End of All Things”, and the intro to “Terrible Things”), but I’m learning.
  22. He’s a star. Dan, simply put, you glow. In everything you do, you shine and sparkle and glow. You are made of starstuff. We all are, and that is why we are all beautiful.
  23. He’s wise beyond his years. You’re smart, Dan. You know so much for someone so young, and you’ll only learn more as you get older. You have taught me so much about life, about my existence. You know more than I can ever hope to learn, but I hope that you can teach me more.
  24. He’s only 24. Dan, you’re still so young. There is so much life ahead of you. Few people are your age and as successful as you are. There are still so many things you haven’t experienced, so many things you are yet yo learn, so many days left to enjoy.

Dan, life is short. You helped show me that. You helped show me that I only have one life to live, and that I’ve got to have the courage to live it. Because of people like you, I’m figuring out what I want to do with my life. I’ve figured out that I want to go to an arts school in my state to take writing classes during my last two years of high school. I’ve figured out that I want to move to London when I’m older. I’ve figured out that I want to be a youtuber and a writer. I know so much more about myself than I did a year ago.

“I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not.” This lyric by one of my favorite artists (Sleeping At Last) could not be more true to me. 

I’m still young, and yet I know so much about life. In comparison to the vast expanse of the universe, I am but a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of it, and that’s okay. I know death is inevitable. I know that I only have a relatively short amount of time to really live, but because of you and Phil and so many others, I know how I want to live it. There’s so much to life that I have yet to learn, and it wasn’t until recently that I started wanting to learn it.

Daniel James Howell - born June 11, 1991 - turned 24 today. He still has his whole life ahead of him, and yet he’s done so much with it already.

For anyone else reading this, you still have your whole life ahead of you. There is so much life has to offer, and you only have a short amount of time to experience it. I was in a bad place a year ago, caught in a war with depression. Since then, I’ve started to recover. We all have bad days, and that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay.

But because of this man, this meme-loving, anime-watching dork of a man, I know that I will be okay.

So, Daniel James Howell - danisnotonfire - thank you.

Call Your Name: Part 2 (SURPRISE!)

So, here it is. 

The long-awaited band AU returns! (First part: Levi is my bby.)

Now, here’s so many people to thank for wanting me to continue such a lovely AU, and I can promise that if you guys want another, tell me and I will try to do so!

shingekinowhyiseveryonedying solitary-saboteur anyapie the-internetexplorer k-lionheart nayooooly splambot weiaojwa4 somanyrmfics swag-chou thaliaxmajor & for anyone else that I forgot, I recently got a memo deleted that had your url in it, so please tell me if I forgot!

I hope you enjoy and keep shipping this amazing battleship! You guys are the greatest!

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