swaff

sometimes i see the Thing That Must Be Done and thing “yes i am Adult i can do The Thing” and get it done? and it is Good and Adulted™?

and then other times it feels like im a 5-year-old hopped up on sugar who stole an Adulting Certificate™, filled it in with purple crayon and bluffed their way into Adulthood™ past the Adulting Authorities™ and oh my god what do i do i am going to die

Let me tell you why I love Newspaper…

  • Personally, this last week has been hellish. It’s nice to end the weekend with good food and great people.
  • Large Order of Chicken Carbonara from Buca di Beppo. nbd.
  • SHELTON, Y U NO CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS WIT US?! Fucking bastard.
  • We have so much #swaff it’s crazy!
  • We make up cool words like #swaff.
  • Sometimes, Joao has to go places and can’t tell us about it. We told him to livetweet it instead.
  • We’re all really boss at Secret Santa.
  • Got Lynde that wolf hat.
  • Had her sister, Madelyn, last year.
  • THE FUCKING ERIN HOTCHKISS WAS MY SECRET SANTA!
  • Look at all the amazing stuffs she got me.
  • A gift card to Fat Straws (nomz) and a gift card for iTunes and Heath Bars (I already ate one) and Almond Joys!
  • WHY CAN’T I HOLD ALL THESE GIFTS?!
  • Shout out to our Editor-in-Chief Erin! I love it all! AND I used that fancy app you told me about.
  • Of course, she can’t see this because she doesn’t follow me.
  • Gonna tweet her dis shit instead.

And that concludes Matthew’s Bullet List of Newspaper Frandship.