sutter and aimee

My name is Sutter Keely and I’m 18 years old. Compared to other kids, I haven’t had that many hardships… not really. Shit’s…Stuff’s happened, sure, but stuff always happens right? But the real challenge of my life, the real hardship is me. It’s always been me. As long as I can remember, I’ve always been afraid. Afraid of failure, of letting people down. Hurting people. Getting hurt. I thought if I kept my guard up and focused on other things, other people, if I couldn’t even feel it, well than no harm would come to me. I screwed up. Not only did I shut out the pain, I shut out everything. The good and the bad, until there was nothing. It’s fine to just ‘live in the now’ but the best part about now is there’s another one tomorrow. And I’m gonna start making them count.

Sincerely,
Sutter Keely

P.S. I don’t know if this was due a long time ago. Probably was. That’s fine. It may be too late for this essay. But it’s not too late for me.

My name is Sutter Keely
and I’m 18 years old.
Compared to other kids, I haven’t
had that many hardships.
Not really.
You know. Shit’s happened.
Stuff’s happened, sure, but,
stuff always happens, right?
But the real challenge
in my life,
the real hardship, is me.
It’s always been me.
As long as I can remember,
I’ve never not been afraid.
Afraid of failure.
Of letting people down.
Hurting people.
Getting hurt.
I thought if I kept my guard up and
focused on other things, other people…
If I couldn’t even feel, well,
then no harm would come to me.
I screwed up. Not only
did I shut out the pain,
I shut out everything.
The good and the bad.
Until there was nothing.
It’s fine to just
“live in the now”.
But the best part about “now” is
there’s another one tomorrow.
And I’m gonna start
making them count.
Sincerely, Sutter Keely.
P.S. I don’t know if this
was due a long time ago.
Probably was. But that’s fine.
It may be too late
for this essay.
It’s not too late for me.
—  The Spectacular Now
3

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