The Greater Potion of F**k

My party, which I DM, has pulled massive shenanigans to get a potion which can do literally anything, and it’s effects are determined through 2 dice rolls and many other circumstantial things which I won’t get in to. So far, this potion has:
1) Turned trees in to chocolate
2) Turned a hawk inside out
3) Incinerated an old lady
And 4) Painted a house rainbow

The Dwarf Fighter of the party, who has 8 Int, keeps the potion. Here is the most comical thing to happen:

Dwarf(OOC): I want to feed the potion to the Blue Slaad servant to demonstrate to [Wizard]’s aunt Jemima what it does

DM (me): alright… *rolls a few dice*… huh… okay, the Slaad’s legs detach, like a doll, no blood, just pop off. His body stays suspended in the air, as the legs float up, relocating and reattaching on the top of his head. He falls to the floor with a loud thud, and you hear him start to gurgle out the words “Kill me…” ever so quietly.

The entire table then erupts in to raucous laughter for about 5 minutes with this image now in our heads.

I eagerly await more usage of this potion

Okay I haven’t seen anybody talking about this yet so I’m making this happen.

I present: proof that Yuuri is swol af.

At this point in the banquet, he’s drunk off his ass AND YET he’s still able to hold up the weight of TWO FULLY-GROWN AND VERY MUSCULAR MEN who are SUSPENDED IN THE AIR, and HORIZONTALLY no less, so HE’S ONLY ABLE TO USE HIS ARMS TO SUPPORT BOTH OF THEM WHILE CHRIS JUST LAYS ON HIM.

Yuuri has WAY more than just incredible stamina, he could literally bench press all of us.

Work accidents

(A/N): For @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory 

Summary: (Y/N) accidentally gets hurt while filming alongside Chris Evans and he insists on staying by their side throughout the whole thing

Warnings: some swearing

Originally posted by esgaroths

    You had always had a fear of doing anything that involved heights but you had no reason for it, well, now you did. 

    Using harnesses to suspend actors in mid air wasn’t anything new to you, you had done it yourself a billion times and yet you were still terrified to do it, even more so today. You and Chris Evans were filming a major fight scene for Avengers infinity war, one that had left you suspended in mid air as you ‘fought’ against all sorts of things. Everyone else was on the ground, using real, physical weapons while you were here, stranded above them all using only your hands. 

    It was nerve inducing to be up here, god knows how many feet above the ground, but you had been assured that it was safe and perfectly fine for you to be up there, oh how wrong they all had been. 

    It had all gone downhill so fast, Joss called actions, everyone began fighting and just as the harness was supposed to elegantly lower you to the ground but that’s not how it played out at all. Just as the crew began to lower you the chords holding you to the line above you snapped and you began to fall multiple feet to the concrete below you. 

   You could hear the screaming below you but all you could focus on was the quickly approaching pavement, the cold gray concrete getting closer by the second. You closed your eyes and prayed for it to be a painless death but when you hit the concrete your prayers had gone unanswered. There was an immediate pain in your right shoulder, the entire thing throbbing and aching horribly, much more than any other place on your body. 

   “Oh my god (Y/N)!” Chris yells, quickly dropping to your side, his arms already reaching around your body to cradle you. 

    “My shoulder!” You yell when his hand accidentally brushes the area. “Oh my God my shoulder!” 

    “Someone call 911!” You can hear Scarlett’s voice calling. “(Y/N), (Y/N), can you look at us, open those eyes for us?” You comply, fluttering your eyes open only to be met with the face of all your concerned friends. “Where did you hit? Can you tell us what you hit?” 

   “Shoulder,’ You mutter through gritted teeth. “I landed on my shoulder,” 

   “Oh my god,” Scarlett whispers, her face paling as she covers her mouth with her hand. 

   “Shit,” Chris mutters, staring at your shoulder with that concerned gaze of his. 

   “It hurts,” You whisper, little fiery bolts of pain running up and down your body. 

   “I’m pretty sure you shattered your shoulder,” Chris mutters, gingerly wiping some of your sweat slicked strands from your forehead. “But at least you didn’t hit your head,” He offers weakly, smiling down at you. You nod your head, immediately regretting it when it only aggravates what’s left of your shoulder, causing you to yell in pain. 

   “Ow, ow, ow, ow ow,” You hiss, tears starting to sting at your eyes. 

   “We’ve got an ambulance five minutes away, think you can handle that sweetcheeks?” Jeremy crouches beside you, trying his best not to look at your shoulder. 

   “If I’m not dead by then sure,” 

   “Don’t say shit like that,” Chris chastises, his voice cracking just slightly. “What if you actually do die?” 

   “Then I’ve just predicted it,” You groan as more pain shoots throughout your body, causing you to cry out, arching your back, only causing more pain. 

    “Hey,” Chris places a hand on your okay shoulder, gently pushing you back down. “You gotta calm down, we don’t want you to further hurt yourself,” 

    “Too late for that-” Scarlett suddenly rushes back up, pointing to something in the distance. 

    “Ambulance is here early,” She states, breathing in shakily. Chris nods a bit before turning his attention back to you, staring down at you with that soft look in his eyes. 

    “I’m going with you,” He mutters. 

   “No,” You hiss, “You guys have work to do,” 

   “(Y/N), you just fell and broke your shoulder,’ Chris begins, staring at you with the most intimidating look you’d ever seen on him. “We’re not going to be able to work knowing you’re stuck in that hospital and we’re out here attempting to work. Now, I’m coming with you, got it?” You knew there was no point arguing, this man was so stubborn that if you didn’t let him come he would ditch filming and drive to see you. So there were only two options, let him come along or have him show up at the hospital half an hour later while he was supposed to be filming. You weighted your options, finally sighing shakily, wincing when the sigh affected your shoulder. 

    “Got it,’ 

    “Chris,” You hiss but the smile on your face was enough to betray your words. “I can feed myself food,” 

    “No,” Chris shakes his head, nudging the spoonful of soup towards your lips. “Doctor’s said you’re not allowed to use your arm for a bit,” 

    “I have two of them-” 

   “You can barely use your right hand normally much less your left one,” You mock gasp, feigning hurt. “I’m just kidding, now open your mouth so you can finish this god awful food,” You sigh, opening your mouth just enough for him to slide the spoon in. The taste of shitty hospital food fills your mouth and you cringe slightly, wincing at the taste. 

    “You better sneak some ice cream in for me,” You whisper, opening your mouth once again to let him spoon feed you the soup. 

    ‘Of course I will,” Chris smiles, setting the bowl aside for now. “What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t?”

    “One who makes me eat awful hospital food and then doesn’t even bring me back ice cream?” Chris chuckles, reaching over to grab the water bottle you’d been drinking from. He takes the cap off and hands the bottle to you before starting to scavenge through your copious amounts of painkillers. “Chris, thank you for all of this,” You whisper, looking down to your lap as he hands you a few pills. “It really means a lot to me,” Chris smiles warmly at you, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead before leaning back again, grabbing the soup bowl once again. 

   “Anytime kid,” 

Slowly abandoning these schemes
I float above my bed
Featherless and fleshless—

Just a pale gilded covering
In the wake of a sun glare.

And here too, dust suspends
In the creases of air
Until a new universe faintly unfolds.
Above the rubble of solitary silence

Such plutonium energy
Wasted on love.

—  Jenn Satsune // 01.29.17
  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means:
  • how do Allura's earrings float??? Like they're LITERALLY just suspended in air yet they shake when she moves??? What are these little mysterious triangles is it some sort of Altean magic h o w d o e s s h e d o i t???????

anonymous asked:


things you said when you asked me to marry you

He’s been thinking about asking for a while. A very long while. 

And that’s the trouble, John realises, far too late. He’s been thinking about it for so long that he’s built it up into something Too Much, and yes it is a big thing (of course it is, otherwise his palms wouldn’t be sweating) but oh God, he didn’t want his heart to be racing at quite this pace when he-

Sherlock pauses in pouring his wine, his eyes catching John’s. He smiles, but there’s a little frown behind it. “You alright?”

Why did he have to do it in a restaurant, all this sitting and waiting, and never quite knowing when to say it and his tongue refusing to co-operate and… John clears his throat and nods. 

But Sherlock is still looking at him, wine bottle suspended in the air with one hand. “Are you sure? You look a bit…” He considers, then says: “Peaky.” 

“I’m fine,” John lies. His voice is all croaky.

Sherlock’s frown deepens. “You’re nervous, why are you nervous? It’s only Angelos.” He starts looking around the restaurant accusingly, as if there’s a hidden culprit for John’s mood. 

“God, I love you.” It comes out of him naturally, without fear, just a truth, plainly stated.

But John still can’t stop from drumming his fingers on the table. It’s a tell, but he can’t help it.

Sherlock sets down the wine bottle, and his eyes flicker over John, before widening. He inhales quickly, holds it, then breathes out deliberately slowly.

“Let’s… let’s go home,” Sherlock says. Each word is hesitant, carefully placed.

John feels his panic rise. “I-no-Sher- but we haven’t even-”

“Angelo will be fine with it. Look, a cab’s just stopped outside, perfect.” Sherlock stands with decisiveness. He looks at John pointedly. “If I’m right, then… then this is… and if I’m wrong, well-” His hand waves dismissively, but John can see right through him. “No matter.”

John has to repeatedly remind himself not to cling onto the box in his pocket during the whole taxi ride. 

When they’re home, Sherlock takes his hand and gently pulls him up the stairs. He stops in front of the window, and turns around, and squeezes John’s hand.

“John. I…” He coughs. “If I’m wrong, then as I said, it’s… forget it. But.”

There’s a painful pause, and John truly thinks his heart is going to burst out of him in anxiety. “But what, Sherlock?”

Sherlock takes a deep breath. “I don’t need… the whole. Well. Wine and…and sitting. And. I’ve never needed- I just want. You. Always. And. Oh, John.” There’s the beginnings of a shaky, nervous smile on his lips. “You just need to ask.

John’s fingers find the box. “That’s… isn’t that too easy?”

Sherlock makes a frustrated half laugh, half groan. “Christ, John, for once in our lives can’t something be simple? Please.”

And John lets Sherlock’s words guide him. He can feel the courage building, his nerves fading. “I love you, Sherlock Holmes.”

He takes a moment to breathe. Sherlock’s lips are pressed tight, almost white.

“Are you okay?” John asks.

Sherlock nods, not very convincingly. “Yes. Sorry I- I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

And it’s just hearing that shaky uncertainty in Sherlock’s voice that gives John that one last little push. Get the hell on with it, Watson.

He pulls out the box and opens it to reveal the ring. He speaks over Sherlock’s gasp: “Sherlock, I love you, I love you so much. You’re… you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and- and-”

Just ask.

“Sherlock. Will you marry me?”

An outburst of noise: a suppressed sob. “Yes!” 

John looks up, and it’s only then that he notices Sherlock’s had his hand over his mouth for the rest of the time he’s been talking. He’s laughing, and crying, and John rushes to him, can hardly put the ring on his finger because they’re both shaking so much.

“Yes,” Sherlock keeps on saying, “I will, I will, yes, John, it’s always been- it’s always you, yes, I will…”

And John kisses him, this wonder of a man who’s still crying, this brave soul who somehow knew exactly what John needed, all without daring himself to hope that he was right.

The whole time. He only needed to ask.

Doing johnlock (& now hoopkins too <3) prompts from this lovely list even though I’ve got loads of other prompts to fill lmao sorry but these are so lovely for more inspiration <3

Numbers filled (johnlock): 6; 31; 12; 11; 60; 8; 51; 34; 54; 60x2; 3; 14; 42

Numbers filled (hoopkins): 14; 25; 41

I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.
—  C. Joybell C.
BTS is performing
  • Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
  • Jungkook is suspended in the air
  • Hoseok is performing boy meets evil (YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS)
  • they are performing 피 땀 눈물 (jungkook needs to get out of my face)
  • They are performing Fire, there are like 600 dancers in the back???
  • I am deceased

- Admin Rogue

Compromising Situation [Newt/Original!Graves]

Author: @galacticstylinson​

Word Count: 1.2k

Ratings/triggers: none :)

Summary: Tina finds Graves and Newt in a series of somewhat compromising situations, but it’s not what it looks like. Really it’s not.

Or is it.


The first time was an accident.

To say Newt was clumsy was an understatement at the best of times, let alone when he was in a rush to get to that meeting with Picquery that started, ah - that started precisely five minutes ago.

Tina was waiting against a pillar when it happened. She saw Newt’s trailing shoelace, saw the fatal step of a passing worker, saw him halter and flail and then finally fall, as if in slow motion, as if suspended in the air. And then she saw the black sleeved arm shoot out to catch Newt.

Keep reading

Med Kit


Prompt: negan x reader where during lunch amber keeps making fun of a new girl in the compound who is plus size and the reader is pissed off so she tells amber to shut up b4 she punches her and later in her room negan comes and asks her and is impressd+fluff 

Ships: Negan x Reader
Words: 1, 134
Warnings: Curses, Violence

You were sat at the lunch hall, a few of your close friends sat around you. You were idly pushing food around your plate, you held a fork which was loaded with freshly mashed potatoes (curtesy of the Hilltop) suspended in mid-air as you watched the room at large.

The room was fairly packed; people lined the long tables that resembled the tables you may find in a school cafeteria.  There was a loud chatter around the room. People talking about their day, their chores and their points, the usual really. You could see from the corner of your eye a commotion by the hatch where the food was served.

There was one woman, a little over weight, standing just beside the hatch where she held her trey of food close to her chest. Around her were three women. One of the women -Amber- who stood before the others, seemed to be talking to the lady with the food trey. The two that flanked her looked like professional body builders, with their arms crossed and staring at the scene unfolding.

Keep reading


“During our dome tour, I was honestly really scared when I was suspended in midair with a balloon. Two songs are about 10 minutes all in all, but it seriously felt like ages to me. The moment we were gradually hoisted up in midair backstage was really scary as well. MATSUJUN made me choose: “Bear with it, or walk on the stage all alone”. I didn’t think I have the courage to face the embarrassment of walking on the ground alone, so I decided let myself get suspended in the air.“

in 3 days 😊