surpressed

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#those two tho#like look at han#he’s nervous and he doesn’t know how to act and he clearly wants something from her that he doesn’t get#cause she’s all cold and professionalism and dignity and surpressed anger#and he’s confused and upset and he storms off like a petulant child#cause yikes @ communication and expressing emotions amirite#but like#the moment he leaves#all of leia’s pride flies out of the window and she runs after him like ‘haaAAAN’#they’re so dumb i love them so much

When You Are Close, I Am Gone
  • When You Are Close, I Am Gone
  • The Saddest Landscape & My Fictions
  • When You Are Close, I Am Gone
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The Saddest Landscape & My Fictions - When You Are Close, I Am Gone

We are all scared. We are all stuck. Dreaming of better days that will never come.

We will always find new ways to let each other down. New ways to scare ourselves. So if this is what you hold onto I will protect it. We burn with friendly fire. 

Sometimes I just miss you alot… and from time to time, wonder how you are doing. I wonder what are you doing today, what youre having for lunch, where are you going, what anime are you watching what manga are you reading. Because now we somehow only end up talking about the whether because somehow, we are reduced to this state. I really miss you alot, but i try to push that away and surpress it deep down. But every night I wonder if we can ever go back to normal, like what we used to, talking to 3am about life and fate and horoscopes. Please talk to me, I need to feel like you need me. One text and I’m back in your arms. No texts and I am going to give up for real this time.
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As far as the relationship and what kind of a relationship it is, I will not say that it is a mother-son relationship by any means. However I would say that together they are very nurturing for one another and they are very supportive of one another, and that they give each other a lot of permission just to be themselves. Because they both understand how it feels to be surpressed, to have that right just to be yourself and to have that freedom to explore who you are just squashed, taken away. I think that now they respect that in one another and allow that for each other. And I think that’s beautiful in any relationship.

- Melissa McBride

Joining the City Guard, part 3

Context: A direct continuation from the last two parts.

My character (human fighter, only uses shields) is trying to join the city guard and has been given three tests but no explanation of what to do. I arrested a training dummy and prepare for the final two trials:

—————————-

DM: *face in hands trying to surpress laughter* Ok. Now what do you do?

Me: I’m going to jump over that wall.

DM: (ooc) That’s a 10 foot wall. You’re going to need a pretty good running start to that jump. Roll me Acrobatics.

Me: *rolls* (ooc) My rolls are on point today. With my armor penalty, that was a -1.

DM: …So in your attempt to jump over the wall, you forgot to actually jump. You just ran head first into a brick wall. There is now a man-shaped dent in it.

Me: Well that didn’t work. If I can’t go over it, I can probably go through it. *rolls 16 Strength*

DM: The dent deepens. You’re about halfway through

Me: Again! *rolls crit fail*

DM: (ooc) Oh my god. That last attempt has left you embedded in the wall. Roll Strength to get out.

Me: *rolls nat 20*

DM: You manage to pull yourself free and take the rest of the wall with you.

Me: (ooc) Well I’ve done two things now. I walk up to the caged bird, place my shields gently on the ground next to it. I’m going to tame the bird—enemy to criminals, friend to animals.

DM: Roll Handle Animal.

Me: *rolls crit fail*

DM: (ooc) Holy shit how do you keep doing that? You open the cage and stick your gauntleted hand in for the bird to perch on. Only you put your hand in too far and squish the bird up against the back side, killing it.

Me: (ooc) Oh my god I Lenny’d the bird!

*the entire table is in hysterics, DM is at a loss on how to respond*

DM: …What do you do now?

Me: I shed a single tear for the loss of an innocent bird and vow to bring its murderer to justice.

DM: But you—

Me: I would like to submit myself for justice for the murder of an innocent bird.

*table is in tears at this point, DM is having a coughing fit from laughter*

DM: (ooc) *after composing himself* Ok, I think I see a way to get you with the party.

DM: The guards are all… shocked at what they just witnessed. They talk amongst themselves about what to do with you.

DM (as guard captain): Well, uhh… Usually the punishment for murder is death. But the Dawnflower is merciful and has decided to commute your sentence to community service. Your job is to escort a political prisoner to a city far away from here.

(ooc) Roll a Sense Motive.

Me: *rolls crit fail* (ooc) Nailed it.

No one sets out to be a heroin addict. It’s not a lifestyle choice…

I was a high-profile model and intravenous heroin addict. I copped on the street. Heroin doesn’t discriminate. It is unbearably wonderful for surpressing pain and generating a false sense of well-being. I loved heroin. Addicts who say “I hate heroin” are lying to themselves. We wouldn’t stick needles in our arms daily if we didn’t love the way it made us feel. But when it wears off, you’re in a hole so big its impossible to climb out. No one sets out to be a heroin addict. It’s not a lifestyle choice.

—  Janice, 6 years clean, from New Jersey