surfing alone

anonymous asked:

Please do Ken/VIXX! I love your writing. You are one of my favorite writers. Because not only do you get the characterizations spot on, in my opinion, you also put out the ideas in such a way that it feels more organic. I don't know how you do it, but they always make me happy.

omg thank you so much ;;;; that means a lot to me!!!

  • lifeguard! ken
  • who has totally shown up to work in a speedo before because his lifeguard trunks were in the wash and no one could make eye contact with him for the Entire day
  • wears the sunglasses + the white stripe of sunscreen on his nose
  • puka shell necklace
  • lied that he cold surf on his application. he cannot,,,,,,surf let alone stand on the board
  • you’re at the beach on your day off, just relaxing with a book to read and ken thinks you’re awfully cute and it’s obvious by the way he keeps walking back and forth where you’re sitting flexing his muscles and going “im a lifeguard, call me if you need some help, im SUPER strong and SUPER cool”
  • and you roll your eyes, but he’s pretty cute 
  • but then suddenly,,,,,,,,,you look up at the sky and there’s rain,,,dark clouds,,,,,and whAM you feel the wind blow past
  • and someones grabbed a megaphone and yelled for everyone to get off the beach - there’s been a hurricane warning
  • and you gather your things, but then your towel blows away toward the ocean
  • and you’re like whatever but then you see ken,,,,,chasing after it into the water 
  • and you’re like nO DONT !!!!!!! the waves look super huge but ken is going anyway
  • and you’re standing there as everyones running past in a hurry and ken literally gets into the water to grab your towel and then tries to run back but gets knocked down by the wind
  • and you’re like “oh my god he’s so dumb,,,” but you can’t leave him so you run forward and help him up and you’re both dashing to make it inside of the locker rooms
  • and you’re standing next to him and ken’s like “got your towel back! no need to thank-” and you’re like “YoU COULD HAVE BEEN SWEPT UP IN THE WAVES DID YOU EVEN THiNK”
  • and he’s like ,,,,,,, “yes, true, but i got your towel back even though it’s all wet but hey” and he winks 
  • and you understand that he has no sense of the danger he put himself in,,,,,but he did it for you,,,,,and somehow that’s dumb but endearing
  • and you’re like “when this hurricane is over,,,,,,,,,do you wanna like,,,,,,get some food or something”
  • and ken grins and is like “sure! my shifts probably over since no ones gonna wanna swim in a hurricane, do you like seafood?”
  • you looking at ken: how is someone so,,,,,,good looking but so,,,,,,,,,,childish
  • (it’s cute tho) 
(Eren x Reader) I'd Cut My Strings For You

Eren arose with the sun on a day most spectacularly bright and warm. It correlated well with the middle of spring, for flowers opened greatly for their incoming energy source. For a few moments he made believe that the star only rose for him, as if to assure him something wonderful for today. But he knew it was harmful to pretend for too long.

After dressing and freshening up he made his way to the kitchen to fix a quick breakfast before leaving. Unfortunately the refrigerator door was abruptly shut as he opened it. He turned to his side and found his aunt with her hand on the door.

“Not happening, punk. On a budget this week.”

“We’ve been on budget weeks got three straight months now-”

He fell to the grimey floor, and even before he landed be tasted the blood in his mouth. He knew better than to get up or to even think about striking back. Instead he briskly left the house, ignoring her jabs at his character.  The door slammed behind him due to his displacement one last time, for it fell from the rusty hinges. It looked appropriate with the exterior (and interior) squalor.

He decided to try to see if longtime friends Mikasa or Armin were busy, and more, see if he could crash at any of their places for the night later on. Worse comes to worse he was no stranger to sleeping in playgrounds, or even forsaking slumber. He had to cross the city to get to where they lived, and he dreaded the walk. Only more people to give him nasty looks. It’s not as if they ever bothered to wonder why he was sporadically busted and bruised; they were complacent in silently judging him. His hunger pangs grew painful, so he stopped at a fruit stand. The farmer had an apple bushel. Only wanting to purchase one, he was terribly disappointed when he found he didn’t even have enough money for a single piece of fruit. Angrily he walked away.

“Can I help you?” He warmly asked the next customer.

“Yes please, may I get six?”

He gladly bagged her produce while she kept an eye on the boy who was just in front of her. After paying she darted over, ending up right behind him. She was unsure of how to approach him, but she tapped on his shoulder when they were isolated from others, being on the beginning of a dirt road. As he turned she held an apple to him. He stared at her, rather confused.

“Take it,” she said, “I have plenty.”

“Um… No.” He said awkwardly. She frowned.

“And why not? I know you wanted one before when you were in line, I was behind you.”

“Look, I’m no charity case, so don’t treat me like one. And you shouldn’t be following me.”

“I’m not treating you like a charity case, I’m treating you like a human being. Is that, and the concept of thank you foreign?”

“What makes you think I can trust your food?! You could have laced them with something!”

“I wished I laced them with Prozac because God are you depressing!”

“Just go away!”

“An apple a day keeps me away, you know.”

Eren was quite taken aback. He was certain his rude behavior would have warded her off instantly, but instead she insisted again he take the fruit. Only to quiet her, he took it and began eating. He couldn’t externalize the gratitude both he and his stomach felt. She smiled at him, watching him eat, and he quickly became uncomfortable.

“What are you looking at?”

“Your face. It’s so handsome, who hurt it?”

He must have bruised his cheek from the incident earlier that morning. He lightly grazed the injury and it stung, causing an inaudible groan.

“It’s none of your business! Why do you keep bothering me, you freak?!”

“I’m a freak?” She asked, though rather than angry or hurt, she sounded as if this wasn’t any news to her, “Fair enough. Remember, you can’t say ‘freak’ without 'free’.”

Eren was now utterly puzzled. The eating ceased with his mouth agape. Who was this odd stranger, and what was her agenda? He could not see what she could gain other than self satisfaction from her deed, but if she was still dealing with him at this point, it could not have been just that. Taking an apple within her own mouth, she gave him the bag and started walking away before he could properly protest.

“What a weirdo… What the hell does she mean by 'free’? Goddamn freak.”

He continued about his day, but somehow against his wishes, he ended up back at his house by nightfall. All of his fruit was eaten by now, but it satiated him enough throughout the day. The door hadn’t been fixed, though it wasn’t as if he expected it to be. He had the displeasure of finding his aunt in the living room, languidly swaying upon the couch, drowning in booze and television.

“Hey! You little shit, where were ya all day? And what the hell did you do to the door?!”

“If you bothered to have anything fixed around here, it wouldn’t be such a ghetto nightmare.”

“Don’t get smart with me, asshole. Get over here now!”

“No!” He started for the stairs, but her hollar froze him in his tracks. The boy started to turn to face her, but he was attacked again much like in the morning. Only this time, instead of striking him once, she continued to beat him, and only got more ballistic when he tried to cover himself.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” She also kicked his shins, resulting in him on the floor, curling into a ball.

He dared not retaliate, though he was more than able to. Actually he spent so many hours outside, away, that he would just go around, often either running, or some form of exercise in order to stay as healthy as he could. For an eighteen year old he had a fairly respectable build. His muscular body gained multiple new contusions before his abuser passed out next to him. It took him a few good minutes, but he managed to get up and into his bedroom. He didn’t bother undressing, choosing to plop on the small bed that took up about half of his bedroom. Before laying down he grabbed a frame from his nightstand. The picture was of himself and his mother from over ten years ago. With it held to his heart, he silently cried himself to sleep again.

The next day was more eventful than the previous.  Like before he stumbled out of the house without breakfast and made for his friends. He took the usual route, but there seemed to be a festival going on at the moment, and it was large enough to be a few streets long. Eren disliked simply walking beside other people, let alone surfing through a crowd of them. Without vendors or signs, he had no idea what the festival was really about. In the center of the street, inside of a crowd circle, numerous people danced in truly odd fashions, and it seemed they were throwing paint at one another while doing so. He was going to allow them to continue and be on his way, but a bomb of green paint hit his face.

“What the hell-you?!”

“No way! It’s good to see you again!”

The girl that had given him the apples yesterday was standing beside him, coated with more paint than the Sistine chapel. Eren was incredibly angry, for this outfit was his last good one, and now it was ruined. He didn’t bother to hide it from her, either. His face was steaming and deeply frowning, but little did she notice, for she hugged him tightly. He squirmed out of it.

“Why did you hit me? Are you stupid!”

“That’s the whole point here! If you’re around and uncolored, we have to fix that.”

“Who’s "we”?“

"Us,” she gestured with a stretched arm panoramically, “the stringless. We’re not tied up to anything or anyone, so we have fun. And the only way to be without strings is to cut them, so some are free while others are tangled. For today, so long as no harm comes of it, we rent out the streets and do whatever our spirits tell us. Come on!”

She yanked him all the way to the center of the chaotic freestyle choreography. He tried to resist, but she was much stronger than she appeared. When she finally let his wrist go, she also let herself go, dancing to and fro, laughing as purple paint exploded from the top of her head. She grabbed Eren’s hands and gyrated him until he was in an unprompted rythym. His turquoise irises gleamed his uncomfortable state. They then flickered with a bit of anger when he was slapped with blue on the stomach.

“Here,” she handed him a filled balloon, “anybody here can get it. Who’s it gonna be?”

Her smile was masked by red paint. Eren, for a moment, looked a bit shocked and guilty. But then it melted into confusion when she started laughing and cheering.

“Now you’re getting it!”

Beside himself, Eren continued to dance until his legs grew weary. She was also tiring, so they opted to leave. When they reached a bench within a city park and sat, they realized just how much paint they were covered in. They laughed at how ridiculous they must have looked.

“You seemed to enjoy yourself today, grumpy.”

“I actually kinda did have fun. That was… Pretty new.”

He looked away awkwardly, not knowing what or how to converse with her. He only ever talked to Mikasa and Armin, and he knew them for over a decade, so there was little that every really needed to be said. But this girl was completely new. And completely different from what he was used to.

“Hey, I don’t remember your name.” He confessed.

“Oh, damn! How rude am I? I made you eat and dance with me without really introducing myself! I’m _______ _______.” She held out her hand and he shook it.

“Eren Jaeger.”

“Are you German?”

“Pretty much. My mom and dad always lived in the United States, but both of their parents were German immigrants.”

“That’s pretty cool. I don’t even have a clue what I am. My parents never really gave me a straight answer… Hey, I’m sorry if I’ve been annoying you. If you want me to leave you alone-”

“No, no, it’s okay. Actually, I should be apologizing. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’ve been nothing but a jerk in return. I guess I just lash out at people.”

“I figured it was displacement, that’s why I continued bothering you. What the hell has you so angry? Talking about it might help.”

He wasn’t about to spill his life story to this acquiantance. She was surely to either become disgusted or pity him like a helpless fool. Plus, what was complaining going to do, anyway? He was still going to go home to that wicked woman, likely get beaten again for something arbitrary, and go hungry. Over the years he adapted to the vicious lifestyle, but he still realized it was wrong, and outsiders would only judge him.

“It’s not what busted your face up, isn’t it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just rude sometimes, I guess.”

“Well, honestly I don’t believe you, but it’s not my place to press you for anything.”

“Thank you.”

“May I offer some advice to you, Eren?” She stood and he nodded.

“If these strings holding you back don’t sever first, you’ll choke.”

She began walking away. Eren followed her and grabbed her shoulder.

“Hey, wait, are you busy today?”

“Not really, why?”

“Do you want to… I don’t know…”

“You want to waste each other’s time?”

“Uh… That’s one way to say it. But yeah, I guess. Want to?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

She stuck her arm out until they were arm in arm at the elbows. Even coated in paint, she wanted to be classy. The day consisted of walking, talking, flower picking (mostly her), star gazing, and a few meals her and there, courtesy of ________. Eren didn’t expect to have such a good time, or to ask her to do it again with him the next day. More surprising was this continued for almost a month.

He was home by the time she was passed out every night, and left in the morning before she awoke. Despite his new budding friendship, he didn’t forsake his other friends, but they were able to sense a remarkable change within him. His entire demeanor sent from that of an agitated wolverine to that of happiness and serenity, almost. He smiled and laughed much more in the past few weeks than he did with many years of friendship. Armin determined to himself and Mikasa that he met somebody and was courting her. Mikasa agreed with half of that, and interjected that though he may be infatuated with somebody, he wouldn’t be able to date her. At least without mentioning it to them first.

And yet another night was spent together. But this evening was different from their other meetings. Within an abandoned tower, beside an inactive bell, the two young adults sat, drinking. Eren admittedly stayed away from alcohol for the most part, but an adventurous side of him erupted and he decided to drink with her.

“Okay, let’s play truth or truth. It’s truth or dare, but this one is good for getting to know each other better.”

“Don’t we already know each other?” He hiccuped.

“We do, but there’s always more. You can start, just ask anything.”

“Okay… Why are you so goddamn weird? Okay, that sounded mean. Just… Why are you so… Free?”

“I told you, I’ve got no strings. I used to, obviously. My parents could count. They weren’t abusive or anything, but they certainly didn’t love me. They provided financially, but I can’t recall a single time they ever supported me, or said they loved me. So I left when I was sixteen, lived in my highschool while also working, and I just moved in to my new apartment. A nice one, too. Ever since I left, I was terribly happy. Not a thing that bothered me before did or does. I don’t care if they don’t miss me, because I don’t miss them.”

“Shit, _______. I had no idea it was like that.”

“It’s nowhere near a sob story. Okay, my turn.”

They both took big swigs before playing again.

“I remember you once said you lived with your aunt, but also talked about your parents before. Can I ask what happened?”

Eren was extraordinarily wasted, for no inhibitions even prevented him from telling the truth.

“They were crushed to death in our house after an earthquake. I didn’t see my dad, he was inside, but I find my mom many crushed under a beam. Me and my sister, or friend, I should say, tried to get it off, but our young bodies couldn’t do much.”

She sat next to him now, watching quiet tears stain his face. He continued on,

“My mother was the greatest. She was beautiful, fun, kind…. And so warm. I see her whenever I pass a mirror and I lose it. She was my absolute best friend. Hell, obviously she was the first woman I ever loved. I never said goodbye or got to prepare for it. Miss her so much every day, and it hurts so bad.”

He went to wipe his tears with his hand, but before he could, she took it in her own and kissed it, then wiped away his tears. She didn’t really know what to say, and felt even the nicest gesture would hurt his fragile state.

“It’s my turn.” He sniffled, “Why do you bother with me!”

“At the very first moments, I just wanted to see that you were fed. Then you looked at my with your eyes, and…. That was it. I don’t know what I felt or saw, but I knew I had to be around you. They told me a magnificent tale of which I remember nothing about. And I’m trying to find that story… Okay, me again… Eren, what are your strings?”

“Really, the strings again?”

“Yes! What’s holding you back?”

“Holding me back from what?”

“From being happy… From being free. Eren, I’ve spent many days with you, and though I’m eccentric, I’m not an idiot. I didn’t catch on at first, but I know what your aunt is doing to you. And it’s absolutely not okay. There’s no way you can live there and live a healthy life.”

“It’s not like I can exactly leave, I live there. And friends don’t want a couch bum.”

“You wouldn’t be a bum if you moved in with me.”

His eyes widened in shock, and he was sure his drunken state made him hallucinate for a second.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am. You can move in, get a job, actually eat decent meals. And… You’ll be both safe and free. You have to sever those strings.”

“________, I’d love to, but I just can’t-”

“And why not?!” She snapped, becoming an angry drunk.

“I just… I just can’t, okay?! I can’t up and leave like you did! It may have worked out for you, but we’re different people.”

“That’s absolute bullshit, Eren! I know you want to get out of there, and I’m giving you a chance!”

“It’s not that simple!”

“It is! Just go!”

“She can just stop me from leaving-”

“No she can’t! You’re an adult now, she has no power over your unless you give it to her!!”

“I GAVE HER NOTHING BUT SHE TOOK IT ANYWAY! OF COURSE I TOLD HER TO STOP AND NO, BUT SHE WAS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN ME! SHE JUST KEPT HITTING AND THROWING! SHE’D HIT ME AND THEN SHE UNDID MY  PANTS AND I CRIED FOR HER TO STOP BUT SHE LAUGHED AND THEN I GOT HIT FOR CRYING SOME MORE AND SHE WOULDN’T GET HER HAND OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR OR OFF OF ME! SHE DIDN’T GO! SHE DIDN’T GO! SHE DIDN’T GO! SHE DIDN’T THERE FOR A FEW YEARS BUT IT STILL FEELS LIKE SHE’S THERE! AND I’M SCARED AND EVEN SHE KNOWS I SHOULD DIE!”

Eren was sobbing hysterically, even worse than when his mother died. He was on the floor on his side, remembering everything he endured with vivid detail.

“No, no, no…. You didn’t just…” Tears burned her (e/c) eyes, “You didn’t just tell me that, Eren… You didn’t just tell me that… You didn’t just tell me that!!!” She cried as she held him.

Like any other given night, he cried himself to sleep, but in the morning woke up with a terrible headache. The bright sun was an unwelcome sight, very unmuch like _______ was. She held his head in her lap and gently combed her fingers through his hair, soothing the pain.

“What happened last night?”

“We got shitfaced, laughed, cried, then you passed out. I stayed up and dodged a hangover. In your drunken state you confessed your love for me.”

“Ah, shit, I didn’t mean to- hey, I did not! You’re just tricking me!”

“Fair enough, but do you like me?”

“No, not really.” He stuttered a bit and his ears reddened, and _______ noticed.

“I know his favorite food is pizza… Let’s see.”

“Eren, say you hate pizza.”

“Okay… I hate pizza.”

Again, red.

“Well, I now know how to tell when you’re lying, and you definitely do like me. Which is good, because I reciprocate your feelings, and then some-”

She was cut off by the sweet and unexpected sensation of Eren kissing her. Naturally she kissed back, but then pulled away.

“Eren, last night, I offered for you to move in with me, and it still stands, on one condition.”

She stood, her back facing him, “I know more about you than you realize. A lot more. And we both know what your strings are. If you can cut them for me, that will be the last pain you’ll ever have to endure.”

She left him there, and he was a bit dumbfounded. He knew he was hopelessly in love with her, even if they only knew each other for a month. They spent all day every day together, so it felt much longer. He sighed as he thought for a bit, until he realized what she meant and what he needed to do.

The only reasons he had to go back to his old house was to retrieve the picture of him and his mother, and to tell his aunt he was leaving, for he had nothing there. The first portion of his visit was easy; it was safe who made the second half horrible.

“What the fuck gives you the idea you can leave?! I own you!”

“You don’t! I’ve dealt with your shit for almost ten years! And it took me that long to realize I was better than what you made me out to be, that I deserved better!”

“Better, BETTER!” She was in his face. “What makes you think you’re so entitled?! You’re just a stupid, useless whore! MY WHORE! YOU ARE SO LOW THAT YOU ARE MY WHORE!”

She pounced on him, punching, kicking and biting all at once, specifically trying to damage his head. He felt himself falling in again. She continued hurting him, but he felt a familiar and unwelcome sensation below his waist, and heard his zipper. He snapped.

He can’t recall exactly what happened, but it ended with her unconscious, and him, for the most part, unscathed. Grabbing the picture he left the house, never to return. And it was remarkably different, just how he felt. He didn’t feel dread, disdain, or anger. The sun was friendly and the skies were magnificent. The children running around, playing, were beautiful. His smile was genuine.

Like he thought, the winds of fate blew ________ in his way, and he embraced her like he was a soldier finally coming home for that end of war kiss. She smiled, and find his eyes anew.

“Eren, you did it, didn’t you?!” She grabbed his collar, kissing him again.

“I’d cut my strings for you.” He smiled, “I know this will sound crazy, but I love you so fucking much. I want to move in with you, marry you, and impregnate you, I don’t care about the order, just as long as it’s all done as soon as possible.”

“I can get down with that.” She smiled, taking his hand to lead him to their apartment. He swept her off of her feet, opting to carry her ask the way. Again they kissed.

“I love you, ________. You saved me.”

“No, Eren, you saved yourself. You cut your strings for me.”

9

part 3/? of my surfer au mood board series