surf world

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.


Good morning.

Thinking, planning, searching… This is my current life. Big life changes can be extremely difficult if you resist. I’m in the process of working through some big life changes while holding an image of the life I want, not the life I fear. I hope the many years I’ve spent journaling here about how to work through each change one day at a time can stay fresh on my mind. I’m reminding myself I know how to do this.

I can be both strong and peaceful, even though I do not know what the future holds, I know I can handle it. I trust myself.

I’m off to sunny California to run Toughest Mudder. Yay! When in doubt, run it out😉