Things Yuuri Katsuki has definitely thought about while masturbating:
- Viktor Nikiforov (Obv)
- Being held
- Viktor Nikiforov(’s hair)
- “What if I die while I’m masturbating and my family finds me with my hand around my dick oh my god I would never live that down”
- The very faint whiff of applewood that Yuuri got from Viktor Nikiforov that one time when Viktor passed Yuuri in the Olympic Village in Sochi and Yuuri was too busy feeling his soul ascend to even say anything to him until it was too late
- The Russian Lit project that’s due in three days that he hasn’t started on
- Viktor Nikiforov blowing him in a warm rainstorm while Yuuri holds a large umbrella and Viktor kneels on Yuuri’s shoes to avoid getting the knees of his two-thousand-dollar suit wet.
- Triple axels
- A recurring and elaborate fantasy of his involving an empty train car, a silk tie, and Viktor Nikiforov.
- All of the priorities that he is anxiety-masturbating to escape.
- Viktor Nikiforov flopping around on top of him in the surf of one of the beaches back home only in, like, a sexy way, and because it’s a fantasy they don’t run the risk of being observed by six fishermen and someone’s great-grandmother.
- That one time he and Phichit found that website that supposedly accurately displays the size of a celebrity’s handprint and Yuuri held his hand up to Viktor Nikiforov’s and realized just how much bigger and longer his hands were and went immediately and painfully hard.
- “SOOOO I’ll tell you what I want what I really really want so tell me what you want what you really really want–”
- Viktor Nikiforov fucking him in a bed full of roses with flapping gossamer curtains like some Victorian protagonist. In this fantasy, they are going to be married soon but Viktor couldn’t control himself and Yuuri didn’t want him to. Viktor doesn’t take off his waistcoat and Yuuri doesn’t take off his glasses.
- How many of Phichit’s hamsters are watching him right now. He tries not to think about it, but it always comes into his mind.
- Viktor Nikiforov–
“Are you humming the Spice Girls while you masturbate? Again?” Phichit crashes in the door and turns on the light.
“NO.” Yuuri flips onto his stomach and throws the shot of Viktor from last week’s issue of SKATE under the bed.
“Whatever.” Phichit throws this week’s copy of People at him. “Here. For your spank bank. Viktor’s got half a page on page seventeen. He’s shirtless.”
Not only is Viktor shirtless–his pants are unbuttoned. Yuuri clutches the magazine to his chest and stares up at the ceiling. “Am I pathetic?”
“No,” says Phichit, who completely and totally believes in his friend and knows that Yuuri will someday manage to blow Viktor Nikiforov in a men’s room somewhere
“Thank you,” says Yuuri, who isn’t quite sure he believes him.
- That one image of Viktor Nikiforov from the March 2014 issue of People Magazine where he’s shirtless with his pants undone and looks like literal soft-core porn.