surf one

Things Yuuri Katsuki has definitely thought about while masturbating:


  • Viktor Nikiforov (Obv)
  • Being held
  • Viktor Nikiforov(’s hair)
  • “What if I die while I’m masturbating and my family finds me with my hand around my dick oh my god I would never live that down”
  • The very faint whiff of applewood that Yuuri got from Viktor Nikiforov that one time when Viktor passed Yuuri in the Olympic Village in Sochi and Yuuri was too busy feeling his soul ascend to even say anything to him until it was too late
  • The Russian Lit project that’s due in three days that he hasn’t started on
  • Viktor Nikiforov blowing him in a warm rainstorm while Yuuri holds a large umbrella and Viktor kneels on Yuuri’s shoes to avoid getting the knees of his two-thousand-dollar suit wet.
  • Triple axels
  • A recurring and elaborate fantasy of his involving an empty train car, a silk tie, and Viktor Nikiforov.
  • All of the priorities that he is anxiety-masturbating to escape.
  • Viktor Nikiforov flopping around on top of him in the surf of one of the beaches back home only in, like, a sexy way, and because it’s a fantasy they don’t run the risk of being observed by six fishermen and someone’s great-grandmother.
  • That one time he and Phichit found that website that supposedly accurately displays the size of a celebrity’s handprint and Yuuri held his hand up to Viktor Nikiforov’s and realized just how much bigger and longer his hands were and went immediately and painfully hard.
  • “SOOOO I’ll tell you what I want what I really really want so tell me what you want what you really really want–”
  • Katsudon.
  • Viktor Nikiforov fucking him in a bed full of roses with flapping gossamer curtains like some Victorian protagonist. In this fantasy, they are going to be married soon but Viktor couldn’t control himself and Yuuri didn’t want him to. Viktor doesn’t take off his waistcoat and Yuuri doesn’t take off his glasses.
  • How many of Phichit’s hamsters are watching him right now. He tries not to think about it, but it always comes into his mind.
  • Viktor Nikiforov–

“Are you humming the Spice Girls while you masturbate? Again?” Phichit crashes in the door and turns on the light. 

“NO.” Yuuri flips onto his stomach and throws the shot of Viktor from last week’s issue of SKATE under the bed.

“Whatever.” Phichit throws this week’s copy of People at him. “Here. For your spank bank. Viktor’s got half a page on page seventeen. He’s shirtless.”

Not only is Viktor shirtless–his pants are unbuttoned. Yuuri clutches the magazine to his chest and stares up at the ceiling. “Am I pathetic?”

“No,” says Phichit, who completely and totally believes in his friend and knows that Yuuri will someday manage to blow Viktor Nikiforov in a men’s room somewhere

“Thank you,” says Yuuri, who isn’t quite sure he believes him.

  • That one image of Viktor Nikiforov from the March 2014 issue of People Magazine where he’s shirtless with his pants undone and looks like literal soft-core porn.
Homestuck Beach Headcanons

John: hot sand hot sand hot sand *makes it to the water* cold water cold water cold water (this goes on for like an hour before he settles finally). Brought one of those fake shark fins and straps it to the top of his head. He fools no one. Brought approximately 53 kites and loses All of them because Dave said “hey I bet your kites can’t hold up against your windy thing”. He was right. Tells Karkat that the ocean speaks to ppl through conch shells, he holds one up to his ear, nods, “sorry Karkat, the ocean says you’re an idiot”. Karkat is horrified and John is dying trying to keep a straight face.

Dave: has a SBAHJ swimsuit and a SBAHJ surfboard. Challenges Jade to a surf-off. “Are you sure, Dave? I’ve had a lot of practice and it’s not as easy as it looks! I’ve got it, Dave reassures her. How difficult can it be. She warned u, bro. She warned u about the surf. He does not get back in the water. Fills a bucket with crabs of various shapes and sizes throughout the day, at the end he calls Karkat over to where he’s standing by the waters edge. Hey. Hey Karkat. Look what I found. He pours the crabs out at Karkat’s feet. Karkat looks unsettled. Dave. Where did you even find all these crabs Dave. They’re your children Karkat. I did this for you.

Jade: spends the whole day in the water and also she is a surf goddess did I mention that? Doesn’t put any sunscreen in and everyone is concerned but she barely even tans. After getting out of the water she does the Wet Doggo Shake™ Jade can u pls just warn us before u do that pls you’re getting us all soaking wet. Smells suspiciously like wet dog but everyone is too polite to point it out. Helps Dave collect his crabs bc she has an uncanny knack for finding them (she’s sniffing them out with her doggy nose but doesn’t tell Dave bc she wants to show off).

Rose: builds sand castles with Kanaya bc Kanaya is deadass terrified of the ocean. They surpass sandcastle tbh it’s more like a sand palace. Rose found a bunch of nice purpley shells to decorate with and also some rocks that look suspiciously arcane and vaguely powerful. High tide somehow wipes out the group’s chairs but doesn’t touch the sandcastle. Hm. Chastises Dave for building dicks out of the sand. Is there something you’d like to tell us, Dave? *Dave sweating* what’s a penis I don’t even know anyone named Karkat. Rose smiles innocently. Of course not. Throughout the day, Rose brings water for Kanaya to drink and also to dump on her so she can regulate her body temperature. Since she’s a cold-blood her body temp is lower so she overheats v easily.

Kanaya: is deadass terrified of the ocean. Does the detail work on the castle she and Rose are making, carves out little stairs and turrets and makes flags out of spare ribbon she keeps in her bag. It’s beautiful. She cries at the end of the day when they have to leave it even though they’ve taken lots of pictures. . Karkat comes up to her with a conch shell and holds it out to Kanaya, “john told me the ocean said I was an idiot Kanaya what is it saying I can’t hear anything” She takes the conch shell and listens. Mmhm. Yes. Oh My. “What did it say???” It Was Really Quite Rude, I Shouldn’t Repeat It. Karkat is about to cry. Kanaya and Rose secretly fist bump.

Karkat: oh boy this has really been A Day for him. He’s nervous around the ocean already but apparently it thinks he’s an idiot??? He loves the crabs they remind him of his lusus, it was slightly horrifying that Dave put a bunch of them in a bucket for obvious reasons. Wants to be buried in the sand, Jake helps him dig a big hole and he and Dave and Dirk all work together to make it big enough and fill it in afterwards. Dave writes “im gay” underneath Karkat’s head poking out and Karkat yells at him for taking pictures. Sollux falls asleep on his towel and Karkat writes “beefucker” on his forehead.

Terezi: before they got there everyone told Terezi not to lick the sand. Guess what she did. Also, accidentally popped the beach ball with her teeth because she was licking it. There’s a theme here can u find it. Is in the water a lot because Vriska is desperately trying to regulate her body temperature and has v little energy to say mean things which everyone is grateful for. To make her feel better, Terezi engages in wildly uncreative insults that Vriska can easily latch onto without having to put much energy in. “Hey Terezi is the water cold?” I don’t know john, is your FACE cold? “Terezi that doesn’t even make any sense”, your face doesn’t make any sense! She cackles as if this is some High Brow Humor every single time.

Jake: has an irrational fear of seagulls, they keep coming for his food and that makes him nervous because the monsters on his island were one thing but this? This sly and wily creature? Dirk is like,,,buddy,,,it’s just a seagull? It’s just a bird? “They’re eating my fries, Dirk, I won’t stand for it!” Jake has a little ukulele that he knows like five songs on, he sits outside by the boardwalk and just strums it sometimes after dark. One night, two little kids come by and give him 6 dollars in crumpled singles for his playing and he started crying he was so touched.

Jane: is having the TIME of her life, and is also the Mom friend. She’s simultaneously kicking ass at beach volleyball and reminding everyone to put on their sunscreen and reapply every two hours please! She’s also having a good time experimenting with cooking seafood some nights, though once she made the mistake of bringing in crab and Karkat did Not take it well. It took an hour to calm him down. Jane felt awful and made it up to him by buying him a nice hoodie w a happy crab on it. Bought a cute little blue boogie board and hangs out with Jade and Roxy in the water, she’s not very good at it but she likes swimming around a little.

Dirk: he’s that one friend that goes way too hard in casual games tbh. Like, they’re just playing a friendly game of volleyball Dirk can you please stop spiking it every five seconds. The grind never stops, Roxy, don’t hate the player hate the grind. Jane looked at him w so much disappointment in her eyes after he said it that he felt the force of her stare physically and had to take a step back. Tries to show Jake that seagulls aren’t scary by feeding them, but they start attacking him for his fries which does not help prove his point at all.

Roxy: “the babe” Lalonde has been ready for a beach trip her entire life. She is checking out the lifeguards, she’s checking out the other gals and dudes strolling about the beach, she’s got her best friends with her, what more could she want??? She buys a cutesy pink surfboard and Dave makes fun of her for it and she smiles sweetly. Oh sorry Dave? I forgot you were so good at surfing?? No one knows how or when Roxy learned to hang ten but THERE SHE GOES. She finds a lot of pretty shells and rocks and sand dollars and is just enthusiastic about everything tbh. She brightens everyone’s mood always.

Calliope: cherubs can’t float so Roxy’s overprotective ass won’t let her near the water unless someone is with her and making sure she’s safe. This is Fine with calliope bc that means that she’s never alone and therefore she’s never lonely and really that’s all she’s ever wanted so!! She’s v content to watch Jade and Roxy surf, she will sit w Jane sometimes when she isn’t in the water. She also likes digging for sand crabs with Karkat bc she likes their little legs. She wants to dig deep enough to find a lobster and no one has the heart to tell her that’s not how it works.

Sollux: this idiot. This boy. My sweet sweet son. Makes the horrible mistake of falling asleep on his towel. He was underneath the big umbrella when he started, but as the sun moves and he’s not putting on more sunscreen?? John, Dave, and Karkat take it upon themselves to not only write “beefucker” on his forehead, but also draw dicks on his whole body in sunscreen so he burns (trolls turn a darker shade of their blood color) and ends up with these pale gray dicks surrounded by a horrible dark, mustardy burn.

Mob Psycho 100 AU where everything’s the same except Teru wears the Generic 90’s Cup Design™ at all times

anonymous asked:

1) Taako pulls off some sweet flips with Carey and Killian, so much so it becomes a regular thing, one day it's going great but Taako ends up with a super broken arm (like breaks in three different places) he's not in pain but he's on enough painkillers to make an elephant high. Kravitz of course comes to the hospital after Killian calls apologizing. Taako looks at Kravitz, sniffling and just asks "are you my husband????? These nice ladies said he was coming." Kravitz just smiles and corrects

2) him. “I’m your fiancé love.” Taako just smiles and spends probably twenty minutes just holding Kravitz’s hand while asking Kravitz if he likes ferrets and Mongeese. Killian is apologizing so much “he’s on the really REALLY good shit, he’s gonna be like this for at least the rest of the day. It was the only way they could get him to hold still for the stitches and X-rays and shit.” Taako tries to shush everyone when they try to curse “there’s a little tiny baby human nearby, I know it.”

3) of corse that baby is Angus, who brought some crackers from the cafeteria. “See! It’s the tiny human who likes to read!!!!” Killian has to direct Taako’s hug to Kravitz. Taako doesn’t mind, he’s hugging a handsome guy, a handsome guy who’s apparently his husband to be!!!!! Taako just kinda doesn’t stop hugging Kravitz, mostly because he’s tired and mostly because Kravitz is holding his arm so it doesn’t hurt. “I love you, you know that?” Taako just tells everyone how much he loves Kravitz.

4) Taako finally sleeps and he can go home when he’s not loopy anymore. Lup films all of it. -Bunny

I had to drabble this, under the cut

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Normal Horoscope

Aries: You could use a drink. Both.

Taurus: Grilling with your family is strangely meditative to you, it hearkens back to something old.

Gemini: Try surfing one day, you may fall in love.

Cancer: The pain in your fingers is the result of things that happen in your dreams.

Leo: Carry some sea salt in your pocket, it will keep you safe.

Virgo: Think of your notebooks in three dimensions, it will enlighten you.

Libra: The fabric of your lost clothing is being woven into a tiny historical tapestry.

Scorpio: One of the puddles outside your home has no bottom. Be careful.

Sagittarius: Hard work is its own reward unless it degrades what we think of as a self. That said, take the dagger to a sharpener, there should be one at your local farmers market.

Capricorn: The bottle of cola in your fridge has sand from the valley of kings. Use it to store used matches.

Aquarius: Trust the little turtles in the creek near your home. They are thankful for your company.

Pisces: It seems youve misplaced a bit of your soul, ask a friend to help you look. Check under the cabinets.

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Kick-Ass Chicks: Pauline Ado

Vans Europe Surf Team rider, Pauline Ado is on fire! After falling off tour in 2014, she was determined to come back stronger than ever— and that she did. Among tons of other accomplishments, she took home gold at the 2017 ISA World Surfing Games on her home turf in Biarritz, France. We talked with Pauline to find out how she got into surfing, and what makes this mademoiselle the Kick-Ass chick she is!

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Give Me One Reason
Tracy Chapman
Give Me One Reason

30 Days Song Challenge

Day 14 - A song from the year you were born

Tracy Chapman - Give Me On Reason

This amazing track was recorded in 1995 but released in 1996, so, this is my choice. Glad I always had my mom putting up tunes like this in the car since I was a little girl. Somehow, I think it shaped me as the person I am today.