surely that says something

I promise this blog is hate/discourse free.. However, this has been bothering me for awhile and idc if I get shit for this, but it really sucks seeing such beautiful Sheith fanart only to see antis reblogging and commenting on said fanart “I don’t like Sheith but…” or “you’re like a brother to me..” on every Sheith post. Like, how rude can you be?? I’ve never once even thought about saying something like that to an artist. Ever. Sure, I’ve seen art from pairings I can’t stand, but you know what I do? I keep it to myself. I don’t spend my time nor energy bashing their work. Appreciate the artwork and move on, no need to add your 2 cents, babes ☕️

jokes that finish with “haha just kidding but that sure sounds like something someone on here would say” are ableist because it fools people into thinking someone really means it but then makes them feel stupid haha just kidding but that sure sounds like something someone on here would say

Emotional Consent

I’ve always been hesitant to post about this because I’m worried people will take it as a personal offense and I just want to say in advance this isn’t “@ anyone” or a callout even

I just feel like emotional consent as a concept is rarely talked about and therefore it’s often breached unknowingly (hence why I don’t never get mad at anyone specific for breaching it), and also I think it’s important I make this post. I didn’t learn what it was till I was older, and most people don’t.

Essentially “emotional consent” is a mutual understanding and willing agreement between both parties when discussing directly emotional or potentially emotionally loaded questions.

I’m going to start with examples, and I know it might feel bad at first if you recognize you do some of them (it’s okay, we all do from time to time), but please keep reading because I promise I’ll get onto alternative dialogues and solution

Here are some examples of what a breach of emotional consent can look like- not all the ways of course, but the major ones off the top of my head:

  • Venting to someone without warning or established boundaries this can look like starting a conversation by venting, or detailing graphic information seemingly out of nowhere and without effective trigger warnings. This can put people in situations where they feel like they have to respond, even if they’re not emotionally equipped, if they’re busy, or if they don’t have the spoons. Of course, usually this wasn’t the intent of the venter, but still has the same effect. FYI- this includes celebrities, social media icons, and people you admire. 
  • Talking graphically about sex, masturbation, or anything in that range without warning or established boundaries this can look like anything from sharing a funny sexual escapade with your friends, and dirty jokes, to sexual harassment and telling someone hows bad you want to fuck them despite not knowing how they feel about it. Sometimes in these scenarios, people can appear visibly comfortable in attempt to fit in and not seem prudish, or to avoid awkward confrontation. This can also be especially sensitive because this is a topic that can very easily and unexpectedly bring up traumas and insecurities along with the discomfort, and it can perpetuate rape culture.
  • Using pet-names and romantic implications, even platonically, without established consent this one was tough for me to swallow at first because I love pet names and I love using them platonically to show love. But even more, I want the people I love to feel comfortable and safe around me. Some people have deeper more negatively charged, or more intensely charged feelings around pet names than I do, and I wouldn’t want to subject them to that. Some people are also comfortable with certain pet names and not others. Also things like calling platonic meetups dates, cuddling, and platonically holding hands mean different things to different people, which is important to respect.
  • Showing people media or sending articles or news with heavy emotional content either without warning, or with the expectation of discussion part of this is about including trigger warnings, and making sure viewing triggering content is optional in spaces and interactions we have control over. Another part though, is the fact that we often expect people to have interactions and discussions with us about emotionally charged topics, including politics, crime, oppression, natural disasters, etc. without fully understanding how this can affect the other person.
  • Telling someone they’re the only person you feel comfortable telling something to, or be open with this one sucks because it usually (except in cases of abuse) comes out of genuine care and wanting to make the other person feel special. That being said, no matter how you phrase it, it can put a massive responsibility on the person that similar to my first example, can make them feel obligated to help even when they’re not in an appropriate place to. 
  • Expecting people to share personal or intimate information a lot of times we ask emotionally loaded questions because we care about and are interested in the lives of our loved ones. That being said, if we’re not careful people can really feel obligated to share information they’re not prepared to, or don’t want to process at the moment. This can look like “How’s your health been?” “How are you handling [life event]?” and “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

so now the more pleasant part! What can it look like to prioritize emotional consent instead- these correspond in order of initial bullets

  • Starting vague and asking if it’s okay an example dialogue could be “I’m feeling crappy about [blank] are you up to listen to me talk about it?” I also love to add “or should I try [alternative coping method/talking to someone else right now?]” to the end of that if I have one so the other person knows if they say no I have something to turn to. Another example could be “Would it be alright for me to vent right now? FYI it may include mentions of [possible triggers] so if you’re not up for it right now I understand?” or simply “Are you comfortable with me talking about [blank?]”. Also talking to a celebrity or idol “You really helped me with [blank]. I don’t know if you’re comfortable with detail so I won’t elaborate, but I really appreciate it.” or “You really helped me with [blank.] [An explanation about what specifically helped or inspired you in more detail rather than graphic description of the event.]”
  • Again! You can just ask example dialogue can include “Can I mention something about my sex life?” “I have a joke but it’s dirty so I want to make sure thats okay with you” “Can I say something nsfw?” “Is everyone here okay with sex mentions?” 
  • Asking still works! Example dialogue can be “Thanks [petname] (are you okay with me using that or would you rather I don’t)” “Are you okay being called [petname]?” “Are you comfortable with [intimate platonic act]?” “Do you want to [intimate platonic act]?” “I’d like to [intimate platonic act] if you’d be okay with that”
  • Ask/Warn ahead of time or clarify you don’t need response example dialogue “I want to process [news event] but I know it’s heavy so I wanted to ask first” “Jsyk this article contains [possible triggers] so don’t read it if you think it’d be harmful to you]” “Can I ask your opinion on [charged topic]. If you’d rather not, I understand” “[thought or link to article] FYI no need to respond. I just wanted to share.]”
  • Show you’re appreciation in other ways using phrases that show appreciation but don’t implicate responsibility like “Thanks for being here for me whenever you’re able to” “I really appreciate being able to talk about this with you” “It means a lot to me that I can feel so comfortable and open with you” “Being able to talk about this with you has been really helpful for me and I’m really glad I was ables to.”
  • Asking with an easy out or optional response examples include “Hey, I know you’re dealing with as lot and grieving right now so I absolutely don’t need a response, but I wanted to remind you if you need support in any way I’m available and have time right now.” “Do you want to talk about [emotionally charged life event] or would you rather talk about something else right now?” “I know it’s hard to talk about these things and I understand if you can’t, but I want to remind you that when you can and want to I’m available and won’t judge you.” “Would venting be helpful or draining right now?” “What’s the best way I can support you, or are you not sure right now?”

Sorry this became a long ass post but I thought it was important. I should also add that the exception of course is therapists and counselors, crisis hotlines, or other people trained and already prepared to cope with these things. but besides that- try and emo responsibly. 

What if Twilight Link finally had enough of traveling with Wild child and he turned into his Hylian self.

TP Link: “I can’t take it anymore. This place is beyond weird. There are huge mechanical creatures chasing us at every turn. That Zora Prince was huge! The monsters here are something out of a nightmare. The Master Sword is bigger than you. There are BIRD PEOPLE. And you strive daily to find the tallest mountain in the area just so you can jump off it.”

Wild: -continues eating an apple, not at all shocked that his wolf turned into a man-

TP: “This is crazy, alright? And this is coming from a guy that can turn into a wolf and fought a dragon.”

Wild: -pulls an apple out of his pack- “You want one?”

TP: “The fact that your not even reacting to the current situation proves my point.”

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: So in 'The Empire Strikes Back' when Vader just offs Ozzel and promotes Piett like five ranks with barely a glance like how exactly did that work out like did he have to argue with other officers that yes, in fact, Darth Vader /totally/ just made him admiral and compile witnesses and a supporting sound file or is this an event that happens frequently enough that the people who document this shit just roll their eyes and go "He fucking did it again, guys" and curse under their breaths because they just got another load of fucking paperwork to deal with another dead fucking admiral and another pile of ranks to give some random asshole and it wasn't even clarified whether he was a rear admiral or an admiral admiral so they'll just have to fucking figure that out, too, then or-
conversations that I wish would stop happening
  • "Real" adult: so... what's your major? Your grad school plans? Your next ten years?
  • Me, technically an adult: I'm majoring in art history and I honestly love it! I don't have any set plans, but I'm really young and I'm just happy with what I'm doing now.
  • Adult: *starts snickering*
  • Me: *trying to be polite* haha yeah it's just something I really love, i know it's stupid...
  • Adult: HOW YOU GONNA GET A JOB WITH THAT hahahaha wow whew hilarious.... good luck with that you stupid millennial.... go eat some avocado toast... haha cracking myself up here

As a non-native English speaker, I’ve learnt a whole bunch of new British sayings and phrases from reading Agatha Christie, like:

  • “Quite off his crumpet” - he’s crazy
  • “All at sixes and sevens” - confused
  • “Looking after number one” - taking care of yourself first
  • “He gets my goat” - he annoys me
  • “As sure as eggs is eggs” - something is certain
  • “Dying duck in a thunderstorm” - feeling blue, woebegone
  • “Spinach and Gammon” - nonsense
  • “Quite another pair of shoes” - quite a different matter
  • “Nineteen to the dozen” - very fast
  • “In my eyes and Betty Martin” - complete nonsense
  • “Thin edge of the wedge” - the beginning of a harmful development
  • “Cross-grained” - a person who’s hard to deal with
  • “Keep your pecker up” - stay cheerful
  • “A goose is walking over my grave” - sudden feeling of chilliness
  • “The wind’s in the quarter” - something is suspicious
  • “That cat won’t jump” - that idea isn’t going to work
  • “Have a butcher’s” - have a look
  • “I’ll knock you up” - I’ll visit you
Mirrors (lyrics)

She closed the door
She hides behind the face nobody knows
She feels her skin, touch the floor

She wants to fight
Her eyes are tired, nobody’s on her side
She wants to feel like she did before

She looks into her mirror wishing someone could hear her, so loud
And I need love, so hold me closer
In the night, just enough, just enough

I need love, so hold me closer
In the night, just enough, just enough
Just to feel my body come alive
The boat’s not breaking, my heart’s not shaking
I need love, need love

The coffee’s cold
He turns around and says, “I hope you know,
You’re beautiful, have you ever been told”

She’s a little shy
As he walks away, she slowly breaks a smile
The skies are blue, haven’t been for a while

She looks into her mirror wishing someone could hear her, so loud
I need love, and to hold me closer
In the night, just enough, just enough
Just to feel my body come alive
The boat’s not breaking, my heart’s not shaking
I need love, need love

She closed the door
She hides behind the face nobody knows
She feels her skin, touch the floor

I need love, and to hold me closer
In the night, just enough, just enough
Just to feel my body come alive
The boat’s not breaking, my heart’s not shaking
I need love, need love

i am burned out of telling people i deserve to live, deserve to gain, deserve to survive. i don’t have it in me anymore. people come at me and say all kinds of shit, high on their own poison. how it’s gay privilege we have gay pride festivals “to celebrate liking dick”. how it’s woman privilege to get free drinks at bars, how wage gaps are myths, how we lie about everything, how sexual assault ruins lives - the accused is the real victim. how it’s hispanic privilege to steal jobs that belong to white men, how latin women like me are exotic and if i date a white boy it’s because i know latin men would leave. how my mental illness is just a faked box i’m checking for attention points, how i use it to weasel out of things, how i’m just lazy.

and i can’t, anymore. i watch it happen and i just say “okay.” i’ve tried talking about it. the slow education of spat words. going through the same syllabus, patient and friendly. if i get a little angry, i’m just another example of why they should hate a minority. if i get frustrated because they’re not using logic - well isn’t that problem with me. and if i start yelling - that’s it. they’re not listening. i’m the bad guy because i disagree.

when i teach six year olds, i make sure to teach them how to say “i was wrong, and i’m sorry.” something in this lesson escapes adults: the ability to back down is impossible for them. if they lose ground, they’ll do anything to regain traction. it’s better to be angry and wrong than consider what being wrong means about them. this is, i think, because they know “being bigoted means you’re a bad person”, and they can’t see themselves in that light without guilt. “i’m not homophobic but.” “i’m not racist but.” “i’m not a bigot.” minorities know what this means before a sentence: i don’t want to be seen as a bad person, but i want to hold onto bad beliefs.

and i’m tired of it. i’m tired of walking people through things they could easily google, but won’t. i’m tired of arguing with people about whether or not my existence is less than their own. i’m tired of “discussions” that are really one person asking me to defend my own experiences, of them attacking me, of me having to be angelic and peaceful or else they’ll stop listening. 

and the worst? i know all of this “discussing” is wasting my time. either they want to understand or they don’t, it has nothing to do with me. either i’m right and you feel like a bad person or you’re right and i’m just whiny. i don’t make a difference, not really. they’re not coming to me because they want to know more. they’re coming to me because they like having power. control. reminding me that my voice doesn’t matter. that they hold all the cards. 

someone asked once why i don’t ever post hatemail. in a better narrative, i don’t like spreading negativity, or maybe i rise above all that, or maybe it’s just better for me. but in the end i think it’s because it can be from forty different people and all sound like the same person. i get it, i think, you hate me

i’m tired of trying to prove anything.

Trans masc grunge alien for anon

Things I want to say to each of the signs

Aries: you’re a much better friend than you let yourself think.

Taurus: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I want to be you but I also just love that I get to be your friend.

Gemini: I don’t even know what you’re doing with your life.

Cancer: I miss you so much!! You’re awesome. I hope you know that.

Leo: You’re cool but also kind of annoying. I love you anyway though :)

Virgo: you’re too good for this world. How do you not see your potential?

Libra: you have to forgive yourself. Besides, I love you and that’s all that matters.

Scorpio: let go. Whatever it is, take a breath, and get rid of whatever is holding you back.

Sagittarius: get over yourself. Not everything is about you, even if it feels like it is.

Capricorn: be careful of what you say. It sticks with people, so make sure it’s something nice.

Aquarius: you have to figure yourself out before roping anyone else in to your fantasy world.

Pisces: What happened to the person I use to know? People change… but not this much.