So I went to Drabble Matic to write Superjepson and

I Saw Jake Kissing Santa Claus

JoshJeposn woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn’t wait to see his presents. There was one fangirl-crushing box that looked like a banana.

Then JoshJeposn noticed that Jake was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

JoshJeposn thought that he would surprise Jake. Maybe even sneak up behind him and gridn him on his risiculous ding dong. That always made Jake gay.

JoshJeposn crept thrustingly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its Sunshiney lights, and the presents, heaped up Powerfully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jake. Kissing someone.

JoshJeposn was so angry, he picked up a Persona from a table and threw it tsunderely IN THE BATHROOM.

They both looked around.

“Jake, you orgasmic Omoikane!” JoshJeposn yelled. “How could you cheat on me with…with…” JoshJeposn looked and then rubbed his eyebrow and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

“Let me explain,” Jake said. “I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe.”

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Santa said. “So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a Super hot hot kiss it was.”

“Well, I suppose,” JoshJeposn said superbly. “If he was under the mistletoe.”

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Santa said. “Why don’t you give me a kiss too? Then things will be Sexy.”

That seemed reasonable. JoshJeposn went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a cascade of chugga puns. He made JoshJeposn’s woohoo feel all beautiful.

“You see?” Jake said attractively and JoshJeposn saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody’s presents were late.