Batfamily Secret Santa Headcanons
So I think Dick would somehow manage to convince the whole Batfam to do a secret santa thing for Christmas in addition to regular gifts because it’s not only at more fun, but they can also test their detective skills by having a contest to see who can figure out who gave them their present the fastest. And because he’s the family favorite and is probably great at doing the puppy dog pout, they agree. So here’s how I think it would go:
Jason gets Tim
Tim gets Dick
Dick gets Cass
Cass gets Bruce
Bruce gets Barbara
Barbara gets Alfred
Alfred gets Stephanie
Stephanie gets Damian
Damian gets Jason
The contest would be to figure out who their secret santa was before Christmas Day, and whoever wins gets twenty bucks from everyone else. Tim would win, second place would be Bruce, third would be Barbara, and from there it would go Dick, Cass, Jason, Damian, Steph, and Alfred.
Jason would prob get Tim a giant tub of coffee grounds as a joke, which Tim would actually be super grateful for because this boy is TIRED. It was annoying though because Jay wrapped it in straight up duct tape and attached a picture of his grave on top only because he’s a troll and takes any opportunity to make his family sad. Still, Tim loved the gift and uses it like six times a day.
Tim would give Dick a bunch of handmade coupons for free hugs, cuddles, hair ruffles, movie nights, etc. The family would think it’s a stupid and lazy gift, but all Dick wanted was for Tim to let him love him and be brotherly, so he would probably tear up a little and start using them immediately afterwards. He would spend all of Christmas Day using up his coupons to the point where Tim regrets giving them to him, even if he does like the hugs and affection from his big brother.
Dick would buy Cass a pair of mittens in every color and she would LOVE them. Especially the Batman-themed pair, which she wears all the time.
Cass would paint a mug for Bruce that says “World’s Best Dad” on it. He absolutely adores it, even if it’s a little sloppy, but that just makes him love it even more. He brings it to work with him every day for his coffee, which his coworkers all notice and find adorable.
Bruce wouldn’t really know what Barbara likes, so he just bought random stuff he thought girls would want like unusually bright lipsticks and shoes that were three sizes too big. However, he also got her a small Nightwing bobble head, which she was absolutely ecstatic about.
Barbara would give Alfred a framed portrait of the entire family, even including Kate and Leslie. He was really choked up about it, and he keeps it on his nightstand where he can see it every night.
Alfred would get Stephanie fun superhero stickers and some sweaters that are so fluffy they feel like wearing clouds. She pulled a particularly colorful one on immediately after unwrapping it and gave Alfred a big fluffy hug. She also spent the rest of her day playing her own little game where she had to sneak a sticker onto the family member it matched. Nobody except Cass and Dick was amused.
Steph bought Damian like fifteen stuffed animals, each of them incredibly large and colorful. He acted like he hated them, but it didn’t take a genius to learn that he slept with every single one of them in his bed at night, so she knows he really likes them even when he denies it.
Damian would think he’s funny and give Jason a crowbar. Everyone except for Jason got either sad or angry, while Jason started cracking up when he realized Damian had painted it to look like a candy cane. He carried it around all day and whenever Bruce told Jay it was making everyone depressed and he had to get rid of it, Damian pretended to cry because of the “hard work he put into it” and that it was “made with love”.