superficie

“terus Kak?”

“dulu pas pertama-pertama jadian, Adit selalu bilang tentang kejujuran, keterbukaan, dan bla bla bla lain yang idealnya membuat hubungan kita langgeng, Ca,” Faza menggoyang-goyangkan ujung sepatu sambil duduk selonjor, di bawah pohon kayu putih.

“terus Kak?” Kica khawatir salah merespon, jadi hanya berterus-terus saja.

“karena Adit suka marah, aku sering takut sama Adit, Ca. semacam, aku takut jujur sama perasaanku kalau aku sedang sedih, kecewa, atau marah juga. lama-lama, aku jadi takut cerita hal-hal yang memang nggak nyaman untuk diperbincangkan. aku takut Adit menghindar pergi.”

“hmm… gitu ya Kak…”

“menurutku sih, seharusnya, dalam sebuah hubungan, masalah seseorang akan otomatis menjadi masalah berdua. kalau satu orang sedih, yang lainnya ikut merasakan.”

“oh iya Kak. mas Banyu pernah bilang tuh. seperti satu tubuh. sakit giginya doang, nggak enaknya ke sekujur badan. itu pengibaratan saudara seiman.”

“betul. sayangnya, Adit nggak gitu, Ca, lama-lama dia…”

“…”

“he doesn’t feel me. he never do. kalau aku punya masalah, masalahnya punya aku seorang. bukan punya berdua.”

tapi Kak Adit kan baik banget, tentu saja suara ini hanya muncul dalam benak Kica.

“aku sering bertanya-tanya where would he be when i need him. turned out, he was almost never there. our relationship went superficial. you know, we didn’t have those deep talks.”

perasaan Kak Adit kalau ngomong sama aku selalu tentang hal-hal yang saking susahnya aku sampai nggak ngerti.
“terus Kak?”

“the talks didn’t work. any talk didn’t. and so didn’t the silence. i managed to cope with everything on my own. every single time i don’t feel okay, he leaves me.”

“ng, Kak. aku mendengarkan dan menyimak ya.”

“ada nasihat bijak yang bilang, jangan sampai kita kehilangan diri sendiri karena kita menemukan seseorang. ternyata yang aku alami: kadang-kadang kita perlu melalui proses menemukan lalu kehilangan seseorang–untuk menemukan diri sendiri, Ca.”

“maaf Kak, tapi Kak Faza yang mutusin bukan ya? bagian mananya Kak Adit yang ninggalin Kak?”

“perempuan tuh tau Ca kalau dirinya ditinggalkan, meskipun nggak dinyatakan demikian. tentang ini pasti kamu nggak pernah merasakan sih. soalnya…”

“soalnya kenapa Kak?”

“Adit nggak pernah ninggalin kamu.”

- Chapter Ten -

“There are a million reasons why this shouldn’t work…but there is only one reason why it should…”


31 weeks

What no one ever warns you about when you are pregnant, is how emotional you really get. Yeah, they will throw it around here and there, use it as an excuse to why they overreact and become a literal space case, but really it’s so much more than that. You truly lose every bit of your ability to mask your feelings. You get angry and boil over faster than a steaming kettle, you cry at the drop of a hat, you even, without meaning to, take things much more seriously than they are intended.

You also became vastly more aware of all of these feelings surging inside you. Even if it’s the very last thing you want to do.


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A Child’s Innocence (and a Demon’s Desire)

Rating: T+ (Sebastian is a creepy demon.)

Warnings: Pre-canon, so Ciel is about 10. Sexual themes, parallels between a demon’s hunger and lust. Oddly fluffy-ish at the end.


“Wait,” the boy says, clutching Sebastian’s sleeve to keep him from leaving. He is a dainty thing, barely two feet above ground and fragile, made even more so by all the horrors he’s had to endure. Sebastian could break away easily if he wanted to, but if he did, what kind of butler would he be?

“Yes, my lord? What is it you require?” he asks.

A thoughtful look clouds Ciel’s features; after a moment, seemingly having come to the decision that it is too late to turn back now, he speaks again. “Tell me, Sebastian,” he says, “are demons anything like humans?”

The unexpected display of curiosity takes Sebastian by surprise. Nevertheless, he answers. “I cannot think of many similarities, young master.”

Ciel’s nose wrinkles in distaste. It seems this is not the answer he was looking for. “But, you’re acting like a human now, aren’t you,” he pushes.

A placid smile settles on Sebastian’s (deceptively human) features. “Yes, but that is because I am currently under a contract, it is my duty to become what best suits the young master’s needs.” His smile turns the slightest bit predatory, and for a second Ciel could swear he sees a glint of sharp teeth. “Besides,” the butler says, “you should know better than anyone that there is a difference between pretense and reality, my lord.”

Ciel harrumphs, pouting outright. “I know that,” he says, crossing two spindly arms over his chest. “But you can’t be that different! You should have some similarities, like…” he pauses, looking for an appropriate comparison. “Like, for instance, you want things too, don’t you?”

“I am not plagued by greed the same way humans are, and I am more than properly equipped to resist urges of any sort, should the need arise,” Sebastian says, almost in the same tone he uses for his Latin lectures.

“What about my soul, then? You want that, don’t you?”

Something in the air shifts, the words fill the room, and, under Sebastian’s glimmering red gaze, Ciel finds it a lot harder to breathe evenly than he did a moment before. He almost considers ducking under the covers, if only so that he doesn’t have to face the piercing intensity in those hellish eyes.

“That, young master,” the butler says, leaning closer to the boy in a way that makes the young Earl’s heartbeat speed up considerably, “is not mere want.”

Ciel gulps. “W-Why not?” he asks, voice stammering a lot more visibly than he would’ve liked it to.

“It simply is not. It is not the same craving you feel for sweets, nor is it anything as superficial and fleeting as what a human feels.” This time, Ciel is quite certain Sebastian’s smile is not entirely human.

“Not all human emotions are fleeting and superficial,” he protests, ignoring the foreboding feeling in his stomach the same way he refuses to acknowledge the obvious threat looming somewhere just below Sebastian’s blood red gaze. “There’s, there’s love, for instance.”

Sebastian’s answering chuckle is wholly demonic. “Love? My, my, and what would the young master know of that?”

Ciel feels his face grow warmer. “I know that it lasts,” he says, “I know it isn’t fleeting.” A pause, then, much more quietly, “I love Lizzie, for one.”

Sebastian brushes a hand against Ciel’s cheek in a gesture so gentle it can be nothing but deliberate. “Such purity,” he murmurs, almost to himself. His gaze, already a murky red, grows even darker.

It reminds Ciel of things from his ever-present nightmares… and yet, he finds he cannot (does not want to) tear his own gaze away. Still, he musters up the courage to ask, “Why are you looking at me like that, Sebastian?”

Sebastian’s hand tangles in his hair, moving to caress the back of his neck. He doesn’t answer.

When the silence grows too much to bear, Ciel asks, “You’re hungry, is that it?”

“Yes, my lord, but I fear it is not the kind of hunger your soul alone would succeed in appeasing.” And suddenly, he’s so close that Ciel can feel his breath ghosting over his cheek as he speaks, and he knows he should push him away, order him to stop, break this sinister spell that has taken him captive.

He doesn’t.

Instead he asks, “What would? Appease your hunger, I mean?”

Sebastian’s answer comes in the form of a bruising smash of his mouth on Ciel’s. It is anything but gentle, anything but human. Maybe that is why Ciel doesn’t push him away.

Part of him is afraid; part of him fears Sebastian is going to tear him apart any moment now. He fears those sharp fangs will rip past tender skin and underdeveloped muscle, smash his brittle bones and sink straight into his heart. The other part wants to see what it would feel like if he did.

But then, much too soon, before he can even fully grasp it, Sebastian is pulling away, dragging one black-nailed thumb gingerly across his lower lip, which is the only thing he deigned to sink his teeth into. Ciel is overcome by an entirely unreasonable sort of anger. He glares at the demon. “You always tell me not to spoil my appetite,” he complains.

Sebastian’s chuckle is, once again, wholly inhuman in its somewhat-cruel sincerity. “Worry not, young master, my appetite isn’t spoiled in the least, this sampling only served to whet it further.”

“You’re a liar, you know.”

“I do not lie, my—”

“But you did, you said you could control any urge, and you can’t. You lied, Sebastian.” Ciel’s tone is sharp and accusing.

“Any human urge, my lord,” Sebastian corrects, with his placid smile back in place. “Demonic urges are a different matter, and generally much harder to rein in.”

That irrational anger flares within Ciel once more. “And yet you managed to rein it in without much trouble,” he scoffs. “You mustn’t desire my soul very much at all, then.” He isn’t quite sure why, but he finds that to be a grave offense.

“Tell me, young master, do you enjoy your sweets more when you gobble them up all at once or when you take the time to savour them?” Sebastian asks.

“When I take the time to properly savour them, I suppose,” Ciel says, “but what does that have to do with—”

“It is a poor comparison at best, but you could say it is the same with my meals, young lord. I wish to properly savour every part of you. That is why I refrained from more than a small taste.”

A small, surprised, “Oh…” is all Ciel can manage.

“Besides,” Sebastian adds, “you are still a bit too young for the kind of eating I intend to partake in.” There is something in his voice that makes Ciel’s stomach knot. The promise, perhaps. It is not an unpleasant feeling, all in all.

Ciel wants to respond, to say something, anything to prolong the moment, but Sebastian makes a show of checking his pocket watch. “It has gotten rather late,” he says. “You would do well to rest, my lord.”

As if prompted by Sebastian’s words, a yawn stretches Ciel’s mouth wide. “You’ll be here in the morning, won’t you?” Ciel asks, blinking sleepily, and Sebastian is reminded again that he is but a child.

“Of course, young master,” he assures, leaning down to plant a kiss on the boy’s forehead as he whispers, “Good night.”

When Sebastian turns to close the door, his eyes fall on his contractor’s slumbering form, and, for a brief moment, he wonders if he has more in common with humans than he originally realised.

… … … … … …

A/N: This is all pre-canon, so Ciel and Sebastian aren’t quite Ciel and Sebastian. Plus, Ciel feels all kinds of conflicting things in this fic, and I guess I was trying to emphasize the imperfections, the cracks that (even in canon) were there before they properly became Ciel and Sebastian.

anonymous asked:

Can I just say that Alice knew that Jughead's dad was a serpent before Betty did. And she still let her date Juggie, so...

And didn’t merely “permit” (like Betty would’ve GAF), but actually liked Juggie and, at least superficially, approved of them. Even with the Serpents, their capers, etc…

The Walking Dead: Michonne [ISFP]

UNOFFICIAL TYPING BY: anonymous

Introverted Feeling (Fi): Michonne’s character development really starts to kick in once she enters Woodbury. And immediately she becomes very defiant and rebellious. Why? She just doesn’t like the Governor right out of the bat, out of inner principle. As she puts it herself, he’s just some good-looking charmer who oozes superficial charm to control people. She then subsequently resents her friend Andrea for choosing him over her (the way she sees it). Although she is a very frosty and secretive person, Michonne becomes surprisingly warm and friendly once she takes a liking to someone, revealing personal titbits about herself one drop at a time. 

Extroverted Sensing (Se): Very similar to Daryl, Michonne is a natural born survivalist, using her katana sword to dispatch walker herds like she’s buttering bread. She shows excellent 360 awareness, as if she has eyes behind her head. She never, ever crumbles under fear even if she’s within an inch of getting killed. 

Introverted Intuition (Ni): She is a great judge of character and loves to speculate what people are up to and what they are made of. She’s definitely not afraid of taking an intuitive leap every now and then. Case in point, she spies on Glenn and Maggie and in a very hostile world, she decides it’s worth the chance to take the baby formula to the prison where she will be accepted as an ally rather than getting killed on sight. 

Extroverted Thinking (Te): As mentioned, Michonne plays by her own rules and won’t be told what to do, as evidenced by her behavior when she enters Woodbury. By all means it should be a safe haven, but she’ll have none of it, preferring to take her chances outside. She can lack strategic thinking at times. When cornered in the Govenor’s office, she stands to gain absolutely nothing by killing his daughter, yet still proceeds in doing so out of sheer Fi spite, which ultimately causes a whole world of problems for her and her friends down the line. She accepts that Rick is the leader and is happy to let him do so, but she will, every now and then, supply him with her insight. 

scienceofficer-willowrosenberg  asked:

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool~) 🌈🌈

Ahhhhh positivity is hard so I’m probably just gonna repeat a lot of what I’ve said before…

- apparently I have good style? Who knew
- not to get superficial but I have a pretty decent rack tbh (it’s probably the only part of my body I don’t actively hate)
- I’m a good mom I think? Which is weird, considering both my upbringing and my nature.
- I’m a ride or die kind of friend. Need someone to keep all your secrets? Need someone to go to bat for you? Need someone to help you hide a body? I’m your girl.
- the older I get, the less I give a shit about what other people think and I’m enjoying that a lot. Idk if that counts as something I like about myself, but there it is.

Zircon

One thing I have to appreciate about the show is how they portray how a dystopia like Homeworld could be superficially fair and reasonable to the Gems living inside it. Zircon is a defense attorney, proving that a legal defense is not only present in Homeworld’s justice system, but is provided even for worst possible crimes a Gem can commit.  Sure Zircon’s reputation is gonna take a hit because of this and she really wasn’t giving time to prepare an adequate defense, but the fact that she’s even there proves that at least on Homeworld proper, there’s a dedication to due process.

I’m guessing Blue Diamond got away with ordering Ruby shattered without such due process was a reference to how the rules of society are constantly discarded in times of war. It’s likely if Ruby WERE properly tried, shattering wouldn’t even be considered as a senten

No hay problema, ella es más bonita, ella es más inteligente, ella es perfecta, no hay problema.
—  NoSoyUnaChicaSuicida

i really REALLY wish the body positive movement had been “you don’t have to look good or be beautiful or pretty to be worth something and to make things happen for yourself and to be happy” rather than “everyone is beautiful!! don’t worry you’re still hot even if you’re not ‘conventionally attractive!!” bc that still puts this superficial idea of ‘hotness’ and ‘beauty’ on a pedestal when really it shouldn’t matter at all it’s literally just our outer meat sack it means nothing it’s going to rot anyway

“You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the color of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this.”

!!

—  tinkerbell03