TAKE EVERY SINGLE GREAT SUPERHERO AND SUPERVILLAN AND PUT THEM INTO ONE SINGLE AU.
THE SKY HIGH AU.
Imagine it though!
Who would be in hero class!? Who would be in sidekick class!? Who would be in cliques? Superhero tryouts!
Just imagine Deadpool!
“What’s your power?”
“I can’t die”
THE CAR LITERALLY CRUSHES HIM AND EVERYONE IN LINE GASPS IN HORROR AS THE CAR LIFTS BACK UP AND DEADPOOL JUST KIND OF DOES A THUMBS UP!
You’re not surprised by this. Old guys probably hang out in alleys all the time.
Upon that thought, you realize that no, it is not normal. It is actually pretty weird and you should leave before he does anything pervy or starts to talk to you about his religion.
You attempt to leave the alley but he steps in your way. This kind of flips you the fuck out, but he raises his hands and says please calm down, he just wants to talk. You are about to ask him who he is when you notice that time has stopped moving. You decide not to ask.
I’m going to give you superpowers, he says matter-of-factly.
Cool, you say. Isn’t there a price, though? Like my soul or something?
Nah, the old man replies, that shit’s for noobs. But people with superpowers make chaos, and I’m kind of a fan of that.
You nod. You can appreciate that.
But after you get superpowers, you should probably learn to use them. The League of Villains is recruiting, and they tend to get a little kidnap-y.
You just said there wasn’t a price, you whine.
Well, fuck, says the old man. Still, it’s not my fault. I can’t change human nature. But you’ll be okay, because these powers are rad as hell.
You shrug. You’ve recently found yourself with a lot of time on your hands, and some excitement would do you good. Why not, you say. Give me these rad as hell powers.