super need

tea time for @snowtoes. prompt: depressedwin

(i actually pretty much write exclusively depressed levi, and luckily i’m in a mental spot on par with sadwin atm so this was pretty cathartic to write.)


years have a way of making nothing into something. hard barrack beds become comfortable. soldiers become friends. 

nothing quite hits erwin as much as mike’s death. it hurts more than his phantom limb, and he tries his best to push on past his grief. but it’s only been a week since he regained consciousness, a few days since he learned that titans are humans, and he finds that time is a thing that reveals truths if he allows it to.

and it’s a good feeling, briefly. he loses himself in his own rapture, pride and happiness swelling in his chest before wilting like a flower inside of his rib cage. levi looks at him, cautions him with his name, and it sobers him. brings him back down to earth, to a reality where his men die by strangers turned into mindless, pointless monsters.

he says he owes them more than his arm. internally, he knows he owes them his life a thousand times over

two decades in the survey corps is a rarity, a fluke, a blip in the system. mike was never supposed to be his friend. and truthfully, erwin always thought he would die before mike. mike was the strongest of them after all, and commanders never lived long after they took the bolo. the weight of all his men, all of their sacrifices, all of the things they learned along the way presses down into him, makes it harder for him to breathe as he tries to find rest at his desk. 

but damn, if mike is the heaviest.

erwin rises from his chair, dizzy from pain, and holds his hand on his desk until he stops the room from spinning. he leaves his office and goes to the armory. nobody’s there, and that’s good. time multiplies itself by ten, and it takes him a whole hour to get his scabbards attached to his thighs. he squeezes the unhooked trigger in his hand, feels its awkwardness in his grip and wonders if he’ll ever even be able to fly again. he attaches the cables, checks the gas, hears it wheeze out, deflated and exhausted like him. he goes to the stables, looks at the saddles and the bridles and decides that walking will get him there faster.

he leaves headquarters, the moon shining high in the sky and lighting his way along the edges of the wall. he looks up, feels how tall 50 meters is, and how devastatingly horrendous his bones would break if he fell from it. can he fly, he wonders again. a bird with its wings clipped is not a bird at all. 

he aims his anchor and lets it grapple somewhere halfway up the wall. he makes the calculations. his weight being supported by one grapple is a considerable risk, but he wants to be up there. he reels himself up, his feet kicking off the wall as the gear sputters despite itself. it hiccups once, causing erwin to cough out a sound of surprise as he falls a meter down. he looks at the ground, lets it sober him.

damn, he’s high up.

he makes it to the top, struggles over the edge, undignified and on his knees. he rolls onto his back and lets his legs hang off the edge, and he feels so close to the stars that he tries to reach out and touch them.

there used to be a time when he owned any type of purity. where happiness was found between the covers of new books and a smile on his father’s face. as he grew, he tried to deny himself all of that. he feigned a smile when nile told him about his first child with marie. he tried not to gravitate toward mike’s stoic strength. he didn’t want to fall in love with levi.

there’s the distinct whizzing sound of a reel and the soft patter of boots as they land gracefully on the top of the wall. they shuffle briefly and stop.

he wonders how many more of his men he can see die. humanity can only hold him up for so long, the cruel words spitting at him as they go outside of the walls, weathering him away like stones in a river. he’s replaceable, a fluke, a blip in the system. his expiration date came and passed. why is he still here when mike isn’t?

he struggles to sit up, his hand gripping to the edge of the wall. being up here this high feels different now. he’s less in control now with only one arm, and everything feels so vast when all he wants to be is swallowed by it. he turns his head, sees a silhouette and he lets his head turn back and hang.

there is going to be no reprieve from his hell, not until he is dead. but jumping from this wall is not how to end it. only one commander in the whole of the survey corps history died by his own hand. he would not become the second. not after he had been standing on so many corpses to get here.

when erwin’s wrong, levi is right. standing there in his protective silence, guarding erwin from himself in a time of lost desperation. this isn’t the answer. don’t die like this. i’ll never forgive you.

erwin nods, but he doesn’t stop hating how he is the one that survived. always the one to survive.

Top 10 BTS songs tag

thanks @yoonmin-smile for tagging me !! tytysm

Originally posted by osyub

Rules: List your top 10 favorite BTS songs from 1 to 10, with 1 being your all time favorite BTS song.

im super indecisive as well and i cant pick favourites so imma cheat and put them in no particular order too

fire
tomorrow
spine breaker
intro: what am I to you ikik it’s just namjoon bUT LISTEN ITS A BOP OKAY
not today
blood sweat and tears
save me
autumn leaves
house of cards 

tagging: @taekookiesandcream @kihyuned @minsuga–genius @jinsasleep @oh-no-its-mo @jins-chin @starrynightae

anonymous asked:

I work at a retail store for my university so we only get 20 hours at max a week except during breaks, we can get 40. Well spring break is coming up and myself and 2 coworkers are the only ones available besides 2 supervisors. We were super excited because we needed the extra hours. Our supervisors, who can also only get 20 hours but get paid more, decided to convince our boss to let them both work all week all day together. Meaning they get 40 hours and we get about 15 each. We're all pissed.

I made something the give me more structure and help with daily routines~! An AM and PM chart and a Habit tracker~! I’m going to clean my room, get this laminated and cut and show you guys because I’m super excited. I really need structure. I’ll also put the pdfs up to download~!

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PHICHIT-CENTRIC YOI COMIC???

Because I love this child and he needs more love, especially his relationship with Yuuri ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

While Phichit is an incredibly friendly lovable cinnamon roll, he won’t stand for anything threatening his best friend Yuuri, even if the threat happens to be someone Yuuri loves. Yuuri clearly adores the Victor he knows now (just as much as he idolized the distant figure in the past), but Phichit won’t forget how much Victor hurt Yuuri in the past, unintentional or not.

I headcanon that on top of being a skilled figure skater, Phichit is an academic genius who skipped grades and entered college in Detroit super early where he met Yuuri, which explains their long acquaintance despite the age difference. He is very, VERY protective of Yuuri. I’ll put up a more detailed headcanon post later (and if there’s interest, possibly prequel comic of pre-YOI anime Detroit college days).

Also, extra:

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

Currently working on a Swan Prince!Victuuri AU, and it’s not going so well so have a feathery Victor instead :’3c He’s so pretty, but so hard to draw….

this anime is killing me in more ways than one

Does anyone else feel like they are going to miss some of their classes once the semester ends? Not even just the class but the people in it that you may never have class with again? Because I do, I’m going to miss you, guy in my classics lecture who watches smash bros videos almost everyday and reads one piece and who just opened an Incognito window to search up “kirby air ride” looked at two pictures of it and then closed the window, I’ll miss you

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hello yes have a modern AU that no one asked for

I see Rey being an art school student making sculptures and things, making her cousin (aka a very angry Ren) lug her heavy stuff around to her shows. mostly this was inspired by a picture of Rey in sweatpants

Hux is a writer and he goes out with Phasma to get coffee and talk shit

also bonus:

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