super cute little monster

Pairing: Shizaya
Theme: movement

Shizuo had an odd habit that Izaya realized only once it was too late.

He never asked Izaya to move.

Not that Izaya was ever in the way often (because Izaya was usually the one busying himself around,) but Shizuo had never asked ‘can you move aside for a bit?’

If he needed to get past him, he’d just wait until Izaya realized he was in the way to step aside.

If he needed the pillow Izaya was using, he’d just stare at him.

If he needed something Izaya was sitting on, he’d try to slowly pull at it until Izaya snapped at him to cut it out.

It had surprised Shizuo but he scratched the back of his head and mumbled an apology and was quick to take the small ruler that he needed to return to Akane.

And from then on, Shizuo’s odd habit was resolved. It wasn’t as if the habit was that awful of one to have; rather, Izaya just hated feeling like he was in the way and the fact that Shizuo wouldn’t tell him and just leave him in that position made him more annoyed. He could handle Shizuo’s cigarette ashes dusting his cheeks occasionally when his head was in Shizuo’s lap. He could handle Shizuo’s milk overtaking half the refrigerator. And he could even handle the blond’s inherent messiness, the way clothes were strewn about and everywhere.

But being in the way for longer than needed, Izaya couldn’t handle.

The next time Shizuo needed something, Izaya could see him approaching from the edge of the room and pretended to continue reading, waiting for him to ask. But instead of words, Izaya felt strong arms slip under his knees and shoulder, picking him up.

Red eyes were wide and the book was raised suddenly to cover his face as he was placed in another couch and picked up again to be returned to his original position after a bit.

“Is that better?” Shizuo asked, not noticing Izaya’s blush.

“…Y-yeah.”

REVENGE BABY

ONE TIME ZEUS HAD A FLING WITH THE LOVELY METIS. THERE WAS SOME PROPHECY SHIT GOING AROUND, AS THERE ALWAYS FUCKING IS, THAT THEIR CHILD WOULD GO ON TO OVERTHROW ZEUS. OH FUCK NO.

SO ZEUS DOES THE MOST LOGICAL THING TO STOP IT. HE FUCKING EATS METIS. SOME TIME LATER HE HAS THE WORST FUCKING HEADACHE. IT’S SO FUCKING BAD THAT HE GETS HIS KID HEPHAESTUS TO CRACK OPEN HIS HEAD WITH A FUCKING HAMMER. (DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME, THE RESULTS WOULD BE FUCKING HILARIOUS BUT WE VALUE OUR FOLLOWERS).

OUT OF ZEUS’ HEAD POPS ATHENA. FULLY GROWN, ARMED AND READY FOR BATTLE LIKE THE BADASS MOTHERFUCKER SHE IS.

THIS PISSED OFF HERA. ALL OF ZEUS’ LOVECHILDREN PISS HER OFF, IT’S JUST A THING. 

IN REVENGE SHE DOESN’T SLEEP WITH ZEUS FOR A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. NOT THAT THAT’S LONG FOR A FUCKING GOD BUT STILL.

IN THAT TIME, HERA HAD PRAYED TO FUCKING GAIA AND OURANUS (BAD-FUCKING-ASS PRIMORDIAL BEINGS) AND ASKED FOR A BABY. BUT NOT A CUTE LITTLE CUDDLY BABY. A SUPER AWESOME FUCKED UP MONSTER BABY.

SO SHE HAD A KID WITH NO FUCKING DADDY BECAUSE SHE WASN’T GOING TO BREAK HER MARRIAGE VOWS OH NO.

SHE CALLS THIS FUCKING GIANT MONSTER KID TYPHAON AND DUMPS HIM WITH A FUCKING DRAGON LADY TO BRING HIM UP, BECAUSE SHE’S TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR THAT CHILD-CARE CRAP.