super cool bear

Patronuses for the Signs!

Aries: Alligator (nobody wants to mess with an Aries or an alligator. Unless they want to get eviscerated)

Taurus: Otter (when otters sleep, they hold hands with their partners so they don’t float away from each other. If that doesn’t scream Taurus, then nothing does.)

Gemini: Flying Squirrel (both are adorable, wild, and just all around super cool.)

Cancer: Grizzly Bear (loving towards their family, will murder anyone that tries to mess with them.)

Leo: Tiger (regal and vicious. Ethereal beasts. Will destroy you with how beautiful they are.)

Virgo: Owl (wise, smart, and analytical. Also owls can turn their heads all the way around. Which I feel like a Virgo would do if they sensed someone messing up something they organized.

Libra: Swan (elegant, beautiful, but also vicious and terrifying if you fuck with them.)

Scorpio: Bat (both bats and Scorpio people are seen as awesome and simultaneously terrifying by everyone around.)

Sagittarius: Fox (adorable and always on the move!)

Capricorn: Swordfish (swordfish are so fascinating and seem so untouchable and powerful they just make me think ‘Capricorn.’)

Aquarius: Jackalope (an adorable animal and a conspiracy theory all wrapped into one. Perfect.)

Pisces: Chinchilla (so cute and fluffy! But be nice or they’ll bite!)

Panda: I just got a new dating app on my phone!!! It’s super cool!
Ice bear: so now you will get rejected by girls on a new platform?
Panda: *sadly* …….yes……..
Ice bear: ….. *hugs* ice bear is sorry he dragged you too hard.

anonymous asked:

What stereotypes (not necessarily bad ones), can you share with us about Norwegians?

  • We don’t like talking to strangers, or eyecontact. Basically, dON’T LOOK AT US OR TALK TO US leave us alone
  • We’re really freaked out when going to the UK and the US because of you greeting us with: “How are you?” without actually meaning it. WHY??
  • Most of us are really patriotic, and we totally have a silent (or not so silent) feud with Sweden and Denmark, mostly because they “owned” us for a while and we didn’t become an independent country until 1905. Basically, we make a lot of fart jokes about swedes and danes. Mostly about the swedes (but we actually like them quite a lot but don’t tell them shhh)
  • We love nature! We love taking hikes and walks, there’s a lot of ski-enthusiasts (i’m not one of them because of my not-so-excellent coordination)
  • Sometimes we go to the UK to pillage
  • Norwegians go to Denmark and Sweden to buy cheap beer and candy, because we’re expensive as FRICK.
  • We’re expensive as frick.
  • Most norwegians are agnostic
  • We’re super cool
  • We ride polar bears in the streets and when we’re 18 we get a polar bear license. Mine’s named Torvard.
  • Our queen once froze our entire kingdom in the middle of the summer, but she unfroze it with the help of sibling love
  • Or national anthem is Let it Go/La Den Gå
  • Eurovision is the most important event of the year
  • Also: BUNADS!!!!