supa kawaiii

Life as a Large Bagel

When I was young, I felt it necessary to find out my exact origin. I started at the mall. I asked many people if they had seen someone that looked like me. I just couldn’t figure it out. When I asked them, they just gave me a weird look like I was some strange creature or something. It really pissed me off. I finally built up enough courage and ran down to the food court. The first thing I saw amused me. A jew. I asked where I could find the nearest bagel shop. He told me I was mashugana or something and then pointed to a big sign that had some weird nonsense letters that were definitely not ###nese. I slowly walked toward the store.

Suddenly a ninja jumped out of nowhere, and I backed off as he stared at me. Then I saw ninjas in taxi cabs everywhere and they ‘VROOM’d all up in my cream cheese and as it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror.  If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, “Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, “Yo holmes smell ya later!” Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air.