sup human

oatmeal - papyrus x reader

send me the first sentence of a fanfic and i’ll write the rest

Pairing: Papyrus x Reader

Warnings: Swears that aren’t really swears…

Summary: Dork 1 and Dork 2 (Also known as you and Papyrus) have your first “argument.”

Notes: i like to imagine that papyrus is a dork with his s/o, so this is just teeth rotting fluff

“HUMAN, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, BUT IF YOU CONTINUE STEALING ALL MY HECKING DINO EGG OATMEAL WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOME PROBLEMS.”

Keep reading

ghostninja22  asked:

Sup, human? So, you know how Monticello is famous for its peaches? Well, Alexander got a bit peckish before his meeting w/ TJeff and Mads. Thomas goes looking for him, finds his smol self trying to pick a rather large peach off of one of his trees.

i legit took the peaches as a metaphor for ass oops

  • me @ my cat: look at this little baby. you are so small. look at your lil nose, your lil ears. you are so cute and you will be my baby forever.
  • me @ an actual human baby: sup

anonymous asked:

little mermaid au for any of them ((boys n gals both !!)) and s/o is someone who comes to the ocean to feed their family !!! but then th mermaid o choice is all "sup human loser look at you with no tail" but s/o keeps coming back and their little mermaid friend is like "!! well !!!! i guess this is happening!!!!" as they develop a crush on s/o

*screeches louder* yessss

Call me Daddy - Michael Clifford Oneshot (smut)

Warning: sex.
This is a long, mostly fluff piece that has a sexy daddy scene.
Enjoy.

-

You were on a date. The problem was, it wasn’t your date.
You had been lured out of your burrito bed by the promise of sushi and beer, and your best friend had conveniently forgotten to mention the attendance of her boyfriend.
“Y/N,” Calum cooed as he fed Y/B/F/N some tuna maki, not even bothering to look at you as he asked, “have you tried the salmon sashimi yet?”
Your cheeks were bulging as you chewed vigorously, not even attempting to swallow before shoving another piece into your mouth. “Yurp,” you managed to force out as you nodded, avoiding looking at either of them. You had figured that the only way you were going to get through the night was by drowning yourself in soy sauce and OD'ing on wasabi. Or just eating your way into a food coma. “I hope you know I’m going to be too fat to drive myself home,” you finally spoke coherently, ignoring the fact that they were now licking the inside of each other’s mouths like starved, grotesque kittens.
The sound of them pulling apart deeply resembled that of a wet plunger. “No stress, Mikey will take you home.”
“Who?” You tried to ask, but it came out a little warped due to the avo, cucumber, salmon and rice shoved into your mouth.
“Me,” came an amused voice. “Hi, I’m Michael.”
A hand came into your line of vision, and panic suddenly filled you. Like the panic when a waiter asks you if you’re enjoying your food and you’ve just inhaled half of your steak. But this was worse, because that hand was attached to an arm, that was attached to a gorgeous, colourful human.
“Sup,” you managed to croak out, cheeks still protruding.
“Sup,” he repeated, his eyes dancing with amusement. His accent made it sound delicious, or maybe it was because his mouth wasn’t full. You couldn’t be sure. “Mind if I…?” He pointed at the chair across from you. “Don’t want to catch the love bug,” he nodded conspicuously towards the human leeches next to you.
Swallowing, you quickly dabbed your mouth and put on your best old man voice. “Is that what the kids are calling oral herpes these days?“ 
A faint, "fuck off,” came from next to you, making both you and Michael giggle.
“I’m Y/N,” you told him, using your chopsticks to heave up a very large fashion sandwich.
“I’ve never gotten the hang of those things,” he nodded towards your hand. “Do they have forks?”
You laughed, but nodded. “You’ll have to ask the waiter when you order.”
“Oh, this isn’t for the whole table?” He glanced down at your bulging platter and smirked tauntingly.
Faking a gasp, you tugged your giant plate closer to you. “It’s actually reserved for chopstick-wielding people only, mind you,” you said snottily before shovelling the fashion sandwich into your mouth.
“I guess I’m just not good at handling my wood,” he murmured, eyes fixed on yours, the side of his mouth twitching dangerously.
You gave a great, unattractive snort, that was quickly followed by a heinous giggle. “Oh my fuck,” you choked out, blushing profusely.
He was grinning now, watching you, his plush lips tugged up on each corner. “Teach me,” he murmured, eyes never leaving your face, suddenly smouldering.
Growing a little hot under the collar, you have a faint nod and tried to hide your smile. “Uh, you kind of just hold them like this,” you demonstrated for him, not meeting his probing eyes. “You have to actually look,” you finally giggled after his gaze had refused to leave your face.
Pursing his lips to fight back a smile, he glanced down and picked up his own chopsticks, unwrapping them and snapping them into two. “Like this?” He drawled, leaning closer and doing a poor attempt.
“No,” you laughed nervously, placing your chopsticks down. “Here.” You brushed your fingers over his, feeling the warm skin and calloused finger tips.
“Hmm?” He hummed, not even looking at your hands.
It jolted you back, making you tighten your grip. “Here,” you said tightly, quickly readjusting his grip before removing your hand. “Now try.”
His eyes lingered on yours before slipping down slowly to you mouth. He let out a barely audible hiss before tugging his plush, pink bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it.
“Mikey,” Calum was suddenly on his feet, pulling in his jacket. “Make sure this little lady gets home safely,” he winked at you, clasping Y/F/N’s hand as she bent over to whisper in your ear.
“We’ve already covered the bill.” The words were rushed and airy, and before you could protest they were sailing out the door, giggling like fools.
“We can go whenever you want,” Michael murmured, leaning forward.
You gulped and grabbed your beer for a hefty swig. “You haven’t even eaten yet,” you spoke into the back of your hand as you dragged it across your mouth, getting rid of the excess moisture. 
Michael arched an eyebrow, his eyes tracing your lips. “I’m not very hungry for sushi.”
“Oh,” you blanched. “There’s a good burger place if you wanna go there?” You already had your hand up, signalling for a waiter.
“Hi,” Michael smiled warmly as the waitress approached. “Could we please get this in a take away box,” he had already heaved the plate and handed it to her before you could open your mouth. “Thank you so much,” he said kindly before turning to you. “I don’t feel like hamburgers either.”
His tone had dropped tremendously, no longer upbeat and warm, but husky and rough.
You gulped again, hoping you didn’t look as jolted as you felt. “Okay,” you said stupidly, not yet ready to ask what it was he did feel like.
He smirked knowingly.
“Thank you for joining us,” the waitress said before placing your bag on the table and retreating.
“This way,” Michael murmured while standing, and you followed suit. 
His hand settled on your lower back, it’s heat radiating through you. You prayed you didn’t form a sweat patch.
“My car,” he nodded, unlocking it and opening the door for you. 
His eyes never wavered as you climbed in, half expecting him to bend down and devour you, or at the least kiss you. But he didn’t. 
He sat down in his seat and handed you his GPS, before placing you bag on the backseat. 
“The voice annoys me so much, so I keep that bossy bitch on mute,” he shot the little device a glare, making you laugh.
Soon you were pulling onto your street, the drive surprisingly short, and you were at a loss of what to do. Did you invite him in? You didn’t even know him. Did anyone besides Calum know him? Was he an axe murderer? Is that why his finger tips were so rough, from wielding an axe? Nonsense, you told yourself, he said he’s not good with wood.
You snorted unexpectedly and he shot you a puzzled look. “Allergies,” you tried to look solemn but his amused smile said he wasn’t convinced.
“Well, this is me,” you waved your hand in an elaborate flourish, baring your teeth in what you hoped was a friendly smile.
He turned in his seat and looked you over. His hand came up, reaching towards your face, before stopping midair. “Goodnight,” he breathed, finally dragging his eyes away from your parted lips to meet your gaze.
“Goodnight,” you murmured, suddenly flushed again. And, even more suddenly, you realised you did in fact want to invite him in. “Do you maybe want to…” You trailed off and gave an awkward jerk of the head.
Well done, you scolded yourself, now he’s going to think I want to have really awkward, weird sex with him.
“Sure,” he breathed out before biting his lip.
You quickly unbuckled yourself and jumped out of his car, bee lining for your door. “Please don’t be a mess,” you muttered as you pushed the key into the lock. “And please let Calum not be here doing penis-related things.”
The door flew open and you sighed with relief, just as Michael emerged beside you. “You forgot,” he held out your sushi bag and you groaned appreciatively.
“Kitchen,” you told him after you had locked the front door.
He followed you as you made your way to the fridge.
“Y/N,” he murmured, stopping a few steps behind you. “Are you not at all curious about why we were set up tonight?”
You mulled over this as you made space in your fridge. “Set up?” You frowned. “I didn’t even know you’d be there, I actually thought you were there for Calum.”
“No,” Michael sounded somber. “I’ve actually seen you around quite a lot.”
“Is this the part where you kill me in cold blood, in my own kitchen?” You turned around and cocked out a hip. “Cause the knives are to your right if you need them.”
He couldn’t fight his grin as he drank you in. “I just mean I wanted to meet you. I wanted to know you,” he licked his lips slowly, dragging his eyes over you. “I wanted to know if the attraction was mutual.”
You bit your lip and tried not to fidget. “Well…” You met his gaze. “Is it?”
His long legs ate up the distance between you and him, and soon his body was pressed flush against yours, the metal of the fridge to your back. His breaths were laboured and ragged as he murmured into your ear, “you tell me.”
His fingers threaded through your hair, and with a gentle tug your head was pulled back. His mouth hovered over yours, his breath fanning over your parted lips.
“Yes,” you breathed.
His lips came down on yours, rough and smooth, expertly dragging your bottom lip into his mouth, giving it a gentle suck, before licking the seam of your mouth. He pushed further into you, the hand on your hip gradually tightening as he ground himself into you.
Your fingers were laced in his hair, the other hand cupping his strong jaw as you let him devour you, suddenly ravenous for him.
A tiny gasp escaped you as you felt his hardened length suddenly push into your heat. You whimpered into his kiss, letting him dip his tongue into you as his hand snaked up to knead your breast. His thumb brushed over you once, twice, and by the third your nipple had hardened.
“Ah!” You gasped as he gave it a rough pinch, and you found yourself arching into his touch.
“More, baby girl?” He cooed as his knee slowly parted your legs. He nipped your bottom lip before dragging his thigh up your centre.
You gasped, tightening your grip on his hair.
“More,” he nodded, his hooded eyes meeting yours. He bit his lip before slowly trailing wet, open mouthed kisses down your neck, sucking roughly every now and then. “Mm, you like that,” he murmured every time you gasped or clutched him tighter.
His hands had slowly inched up your sides, until your t-shirt was being pulled over your head.
He kissed you deeply, so slowly you lost your breath. And without tearing his eyes from yours he unclasped your bra, letting the cool air circle your hardened nipples. “Beautiful,” he nodded before diving down and capturing your breast’s peak into his hot, moist mouth.
You were wet and desperate, arching into his every touch and draw. You shuddered as his hand began to roughly rub you through your jeans, whimpering for him to undo them until he finally complied.
“I bet you taste heavenly,” he spoke into your goosebumps as he trailed kisses down your stomach.
Your jeans were yanked and kicked off, and soon you stood in nothing but your black boy shorts.
He wasted no time in pulling them down, not waiting a second before plunging his tongue into you.
A gasp ripped through you as you fisted his hair, rocking into him, trying to push his tongue deeper into you. You threw a leg over his clothed shoulder, feeling the cool leather of his jacket against your thigh. 
You felt his glorious lips brush over your clit, but his thrusting tongue, lapping up your juices and plunging into you had you on the edge.
Your one hand fisted his hair as you rocked against him, and the other hand had snaked up to knead and tug at your breast.
Smouldering eyes glanced up at you, and the sight of you touching yourself, biting down on your lip and arching into him made Michael moan into you, letting it vibrate against your clit, until you began to come around his still thrusting tongue, gasping for breath as you rode his sweet mouth.
He slowly rose up as you came down from your high, making sure to let his clothing drag against your sensitive core. “You taste…” He groaned before kissing you, plunging his tongue into your mouth, letting you taste yourself as he ground his heat into you.
Whimpering, you fumbled with his belt buckle. You finally managed to free his solid length, and you moaned with sheer carnal desire as you felt his length and girth, imagining how good it would feel to stretch around him.
“Jump, baby,” he moaned against your lips, trying to slow his thrusting as you tugged on his cock.
You obliged, and he picked you up effortlessly, resting your scorching back against the cool fridge.
He nudged your entrance, and kissed you fiercely before pushing into you.
Your gasp echoed through the kitchen as he filled you to your hilt. He ground into you, rubbing against your stiffened clit.
“Fuck, baby, I can feel you’re so close,” he moaned into your ear, rotating his hips for just enough friction. “But if you come too soon for daddy, I might not last long.
You shuddered around him, digging your nails into his leather jacket.
"Mmm, you like that, baby?” He murmured into your neck. “You wanna call me daddy?”
Your moan was high and shrill as you fought to not come, your body vibrating as his cock stirred inside you, brushing every nerve.
“Your pussy is so tight, I can just imagine how good its going to feel when you come. But you have to ask Daddy for it.”
“Please,” you whimpered.
“Please what, baby?” He purred into your ear as he stopped moving completely. 
“Please let me come, daddy,” You choked out, your vision blurring as you fought to keep still.
“Good girl,” he growled before pulling out of you and slamming forward, filling you until you let out a carnal scream and shuddered around him.
He growled out your name and gasped in your ear before spilling into you, the heat of it dragging your orgasm out as you felt yourself grow more slick.
His body shuddered against you as the last ripples of your climax ran along his cock.
“I’m so happy we finally met,” you whispered as you began to rotate your hips and his cock began to stir and lengthen inside of you.

-

I take requests (:


Masterlist.

anonymous asked:

*already knew you were lance trash* a surprise among human kind. - Sup my friend

I know, I know. I’m sure many of you are still recovering from the shock of this sudden revelation. I’m sorry for springing it on everyone, but I couldn’t hide it from you all any longer…

- Admin A

I’m not saying that at some point love isn’t staying up until 2am phone calls or stealing kisses when you least expect it, or instantly falling for each other’s favorite songs because it is, or at least that’s what the lead up to it feels like, but real love, is so much more. It’s going out at 12am to get something to eat for your wife who can’t get out of bed, it’s listening to them as they explode with vulnerability on your living room couch talking about how they were only so young when their parents passed on. it’s remembering how someone likes their coffee in the morning without asking—without ever asking, it’s visiting someone in the hospital knowing the last thing you want to do is see them in that condition, it’s wanting to be with that person despite everything, the future, the past, and everything in between, it’s the intimate things that you don’t even realize involve such intimacy, but they do, in secret, like the pinky promises you two made behind your back, to love one another for always, in the time you thought you were in love, when you were actually just on your way to it.
—  My friend
No, but really... I do ask all the time.

Acquiring the Materia:
“Hey, Tree?”
“Sup, human?”
“Can I have this branch?”
“Yeah, sure!”“Super sweet, have this cool water and a hug because you’re awesome.”

Earmarking the Materia:
“Hey, Tree?”
“Hey! It’s you! Whattup?”
“Can I use this branch for a wand?”
“Well, that sounds fun! Hell, yes!”

Using the Materia:
“Hey Tree, I’m doing a woo, you wanna join in?”
“Absofuckinlutely.”

Alternately:
“Hey Tree?”
“Not today.”
“No problem, thank you for your time.”