You & I

Originally posted by clubeskimo

“Wake up sleepy head,” Your head snapped up as soon as you heard his voice.

Sungbin held out a cup of coffee out to you and you gladly accepted it muttering a soft thanks.

“It’s crazy how hard you’re trying to get the scholarship..I mean you almost fainted! What would’ve happened if I weren’t there..?” Sungbin sighed.

“You don’t even need that scholarship, I can help you pay for your tuition.” He continued.

“ many times do I have to tell you? I don’t like taking things from you..I’m not with you because of money..” You told him.

Sungbin treated you well, maybe a little too well. If he saw your eyes sparkle when you two went shopping, he would buy it with or without your consent. He loves helping. Late on a bill, he would pay it. You break one plate, he buys you a new set. You need money to go to college, he wants to help, but not this time, not can’t burden him like that.

“You haven’t been answering my calls.” Sungbin raised an eyebrow.

“I was shopping and found just picked up some stuff for you..just some journals, pens, and stuff, Oh and do you wanna go get dinner later? Steak? Or we could go to that restaurant you like.”

“Sungbin!” You startled him. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t lie to you anymore.”

Today was the day that everything was going to fall apart.

“There was this girl..She didn’t have any certain direction in life that she wanted to go into. Everyday she just danced and drank. So often that she knew every single person in that club but one day..there was this tall, handsome guy that just..showed up. Everyone seemed to know him, like he was a famous celebrity or she asked around, there were so many different answers but all of them had something in common: he made crazy money.”

Sungbin listened, it was something you always liked about him, no matter what, even if he had more important things to do..he always made time for you.

“That it you?” He caught on. He always did. “ me with an intention..?” He tried to make sense of everything.

“It was supposed to be a short term thing..I just needed enough to support and myself and then I was going to leave but you treated me so well. I wasn’t an animal in your treated me with so much delicacy. You held my hand, you hugged me, you loved me..” You cried.

Sungbin scoffed, “What am I to you? A short term thing? A support system?” He was hurt. “But I guess it’s not your fault because I tied you down. I was the one who loved you, so I guess it’s on me.” He picked up his keys and left.

That was it. It finally happened. He left. He found out.

You just..sat there, in the darkness, in the silence, for minutes, hours.

From the start it was a trap. You gave yourself a month, exactly one month for him to fall for you. You hid the real you and put on a mask. Doing things like always being there for him on his dark days, or studying his habits so you could find his weak spots. You trapped him.

Sungbin..was so vulnerable, so gullible. He was full of love. He believed and accepted everything the world gave him. It was easy to deceive him.

But somewhere in the fake really did fall for him. Maybe it was the way he always tucked the one strand of hair behind your ear and stared lovingly at you when he thought you passed out while working. Or was it because he always made sure you walked on the inside of the streets? You fell for him.

You tried to change. You tried to, you really did. You worked so hard to get that scholarship, to get a job, a that you could convince yourself..that you have some worth left in you. Because maybe could also convince yourself that you deserve him.

You haven’t been answering his the attachment wasn’t so strong. So just in case your little “plan” doesn’t work out, you could say goodbye.

And you really did say goodbye. But..everything happens for a reason. And Sungbin deserved better.

I Hate You - Beenzino angst

Here we go. I think it’s a given that I’m getting all my gifs from @kimtaehyungssmile now

“I don’t understand why you’re getting so damn mad, Sungbin. It’s literally just an ice cream flavour.” you said, turning your eyes to look at the book in your hands rather than your boyfriend who was getting progressively angrier.

“I’m not getting mad about the fucking ice cream, Y/N. I’m getting mad that you never seem to do anything right these days.” he snapped, turning to exit the kitchen in a huff. Your eyes narrowed and you followed after him.

“Excuse me? What the hell does that mean?”

“What do you think it means?” he whirled around to look at you, fire blazing in his eyes.

“No, please clear up the confusion.” you sneered, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You forgot my fucking birthday last week!” he shouted, beginning to count things off his fingers.

“What? No I didn’t - I called you and said I had to work but I would make it up to you on-”

“And you still haven’t! You were late to our date yesterday. You refuse to meet my fucking parents, for whatever damn reason. You always ditch me off for your damn friends, despite me saying that I’d rather you didn’t hang out with some of them-”

“Oh, get over yourself! They’ve been my friends for years, and that’s it. Nothing more. You’re my boyfriend, not them!”

“It doesn’t feel like I’m your boyfriend when their hands are all over you and you’re letting them!” he burst, the muscle in his jaw working furiously.

“It’s not like that! They’ve always been into skinship, it’s not my fault! Also, you know why I won’t meet your parents; I don’t want them to dislike me and you’ll end up breaking up with me because they want you to!”

“Since when have I ever done anything my parents have told me to do?!” he yelled, spit flying everywhere.

“Sungbin, you are being so unreasonable right now. I promised to make missing your birthday up to you and you spent your actual birthday with your friends and everybody else! I called you ahead of time before our date yesterday to say I was late, you said it was okay and when I apologised, you shrugged it off! Why are you being like this now?” you questioned and he scoffed loudly, throwing his arms up in the air in derision.

“You are so fucking naïve Y/N! Of course I’d be damn pissed if you’re late - I’m always busy these days and stressed and the one time I want to spend time with you, you blow me off for work!”

“I didn’t blow you off! I was ten minutes late and you were fully aware of it!”

“It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, Y/N!”

Your chest was heaving, staring up at the man you love. Anger was swimming through your body. You couldn’t understand it; why was he being like this? He never usually got this angry over something so stupid.

“Y’know, sometimes I wish I had more work so I didn’t have to see you as often.” he said matter-of-factly and you flinched at the acid in his tone.

“How fucking dare you! I’m trying my damn best here, you’re the one being an asshole!”

“I’m being an asshole? You’re a selfish bitch in this relationship, Y/N, and you know it! It’s always about you and you never seem to consider my fucking feelings!”

“I can’t believe you, Sungbin! I’m trying my hardest and here you are, screaming at me for no reason! You are just like my ex!” you spat, taking a step away from him and turning to the front door. Before you could get far though, his hand wrapped around your entire upper arm and forced you to face to him again, glaring down at you, jaw locked and brows furrowed together.

“Maybe I fucking am. I completely understand why he cheated on you.”

With those words - those simple words - your heart was torn out of your body and crushed in his hand. How could he say something like that?
Tears flooded your eyes and you shoved his hand off you, taking a step back and glaring angrily at him.

“Fuck you,” you spat, tears falling from your eyes. His facial expression didn’t soften at the sight of your pain. “I’m fucking done.”

You turned again, almost expecting him to apologise immediately and beg for forgiveness. He didn’t.

“Good. Fucking finally.”

You turned momentarily to look at him. He was stood alone in the doorframe of the kitchen, glaring at you with a burning resentment you had never seen before. You didn’t recognise this man at all - he was not the person you had fallen in love with.

“I hate you, Lim Sungbin.”

With that, you whirled and walked out the front door just as he launched the closest thing to him at the door - the weapon of a choice a vase you had received from your mother one birthday. It smashed against the closed door and shattered into a million pieces.

“Fine! Fucking leave then!” he screamed after you, running a hand through his hair and turning to go back into the kitchen, opening the fridge and peering inside.

She’ll be back. She always comes back. She’s just mad.

A cake was sat on the second shelf. It was beautifully decorated, with the words ‘Happy Birthday Sungbin!’ written on the middle in red icing. Suddenly, in a fit of rage, he lifted the cake and launched it at the wall, splattering cake and icing all over the kitchen. Chest heaving, breath leaving in heavy pants, he looked around at the mess and the empty apartment. She left him.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he sunk to his knees slowly, arms wrapping tightly around his chest to try and keep himself together, but it was too late. Heavy sobs left his mouth as he realised what he had done and what he had said.

Shit. What the fuck have I done?