summarise

unsent

My whole body literally stops and I forget how to breathe for a second. I tried to talk to you out of sudden courage but it always doesn’t sound as good as I played inside of my head. You’re really nice and pretty and stuff and those are the few factors that makes every single nerves in my body vibrate. I would like to take you out for a coffee or a library or a park or maybe we could do it all if you’re okay with that. I know I ramble a lot but one sentence that summarise all of the words I’ve been saying is I'minlovewithyou.

Things from today's live show♡:
27/4/17

• phil: “There’s no DAWG… at the moment,”

• phil is keeping his bedroom aesthetic

• dan is changing is bedroom aesthetic

• he has a floating white bed ??

• he’s keeping all things silver !

•playing with cardboard boxes ,?,,

• chat: “when will you get a dog?” phil: “one day,”

• gaming video room has been set up !!

• mystery glass ??/

• dan in pink :))

• they touched the sydney opera house in AUS

• they watched fantastic beasts, lion, hacksaw ridge, nerve and snowden on the plane

• dan cried watching hacksaw ridge :’(

• had a little zoo trip

• the danisnotonfire desk is not in his bedroom and has been moved to the living room :?

• phil is still filming in his bedroom

• phil: “I requested a plant.” dan: “I bought a plant!”

• dan @ phil: “prepare inspirations for me,”

• SNUG (living room) !

• dan has a white piano !!

• “are you still trying to get revenge on me for the cereal?” “yes!”

• phil: “I know we can’t have a dog, but can we have a fish?”

• d&p talking about the science art museum and taking photos of eachother !

• dan cried at the show with the metal flower tree :“((((

• boomerangs at the aquarium !

• dan was given sparkley nail polish

• phil: “It just releases your pastely aesthetic,”

• phil: “I think I can probably get away with a fish or a hamster,”

• chat: “are you gonna curl you hair?” phil: “I think i’ll do it for a video at some point,”

• playlist live !

• phil is going to florida with the family

• harry’s new solo is phil’s favourite :))

• dan cried watching the last gaming video, back :’((((((

• some videos next week !!

• favourite room; gaming room !

• phil’s new room is “cozy and quiet” ♡

• dan: “I want to make the new danisnotonfire background, pretty” ♡

• dan has a bonsai !

• dan has an idea for a new dinof video (ooo)

• he has one final video in his old room

• dan said he purposely gave us hints about them moving in his last younow (we all knew lmao)

• phil called dans hair soft and poked it

• phil: “if i had natural curls i’d let them curl”

• the new apartment is called steve/dave/thor

• dan: “phil why won’t you paint your nails?”

• someone at phil’s university painted his nails and he didn’t like it :( (rip)

• probably a dinof video on monday and dans live show on tuesday !

• phil will try to do one in florida !

• “we’re just two irrelevant twits; dan and phil”

anonymous asked:

How do u think Taekook is real? why?

First of all, let me clarify that I when I say taekook is “real”, I don’t mean it in an enforcing and “suck that!” manner. It’s more of a “I believe in the possibility of my OTP” reaction and I’m not trying to say that they really ARE in a relationship IRL. (See this post) I want to be able to scream and smile over taekook all I want without people thinking I’m that offensive, rude and crassy-ass shipper :^) just want to make it clear that I am open to different ships and wouldn’t directly harass another ship.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get on to the good stuff ;) Taekook is the ship closest to my heart because of their interactions. I’ve always believed in the possibility of taekook harbouring romantic feelings towards each other. It’s the constant skinship with each other, the intense looks exchanged. It’s them cuddling together in each others’ beds, and the playful touches. It’s when Jungkook looks jealous whenever Taehyung interacts with others. It’s when Taehyung jumps onto Jungkook for a piggyback ride and when Jungkook obliges happily.

It’s also the way they seem to gravitate towards each other, a lack of distance  whenever they’re standing side by side. The way they tease playfully, the way one licks their lips while staring at the other. The way they seem so comfortable around each other, lingering glances and touches exchanged. There’s so many more I want to list out, but I think you get the idea. Something tells me that they might be more than just friends.

Remember the way taekook hold hands? Fingers intertwined, like it’s second nature to them. 

Originally posted by bbminnie

Do you recall them cuddling? In beds and on mats, the intimacy kills me.

Originally posted by jimin-stole-the-jams

Originally posted by jeonvguk

Space? Well, not really.

Originally posted by taevia

Originally posted by thereisalwaysachogiway

What’s this? Yes please.

Originally posted by hayoomin

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Originally posted by beuits

Besides, have you seen the way they look into each others’ eyes? It’s as if they hold the world.

Originally posted by bloodsweatearss

Originally posted by allthingstaekook

Originally posted by xtaeful

#optomstudies here with a post about university studying! I’ve been reading many study tips masterposts in the community, but some of these won’t work that well for university. So here are 3 tips for adapting to uni study!

Loose leaf? Notebook? Neither! (but if you must choose between the two, I recommend hole-punched loose leaf - easy to file :D) There is just no time, especially once you get to your higher years, that you will be able to write paper notes especially considering the level of detail that you are required to learn things to get good marks. 

When I was studying therapeutics, lectures were more like an essay crammed into 60-80 ppt slides! Using 10pt Calibri, 1.15 spacing, custom 1cm margins - I still had 12 pages for a 2 hour lecture (see below)

Two lectures / week, for 12 weeks! Although this was the most-content heavy subject, my other courses were still way too time consuming to write notes for. Sadly, you can’t summarise much, because MCQs pick at details.  

As for laptops, cheap netbooks are only ~$300, but I’d recommend these really great student laptops

And yet, you have to wonder why #studyblr doesn’t have more digital notes? Isn’t every studyblr the owner of a computer as a tumblr user? I’m trying to encourage everyone to feel more confident about posting their digital notes as part of the “#studyblrs get real” tag (see here), so if you have some great typed study notes, please tag me with #optomstudies and I’ll be happy to reblog you!

Read through your lecture slides so that you have a basic grasp of the topic before classes. If you have any readings assigned, do them too. This means that you’ll

  • go in knowing what concepts you need clarified
  • revise one more time (remember the forgetting curve?)
  • be much better placed to answer questions and participate in class discussions (get those participation marks!! ;))
  • find it easier to follow along with much more complicated topics than you’ve experienced in high school!
  • remember a lot more of the topic when you come back to revise later on!

Yes, I know, studyblr blasphemy right? But this is what you do when strapped for time. Particularly with biological/chemical sciences, lecturers will have basically summarised what you need to know on the slides. 

Before your lectures, read through the slides (should take about 30 minutes for a 2 hour lecture) and mark/circle anything you don’t understand - then when you get to the lecture, jot down a clarification in your own words based on the professor’s explanation. Eventually, you’ll find that you have studied the topic well enough to not need your own footnotes. 

It takes a little experience to know which professors have slides you can study off (tip: it’s usually the ones where you don’t have to write down much) but it’s totally worth the time you save!


Hope this has been an informative post about the differences between university and high school studying! Please follow me for weekly study tips, study pics and now kpop vocab lists!


MY WEEKLY STUDY TIPS

WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN BEFORE UNIVERSITY STUDY TIPS SERIES

SEE ALSO My Tips This Past Month - It’s too long to list everything, see all original posts here and my study tips directory (web)

 + my cute stationery + my spreads!

anonymous asked:

Hey Emma 💛 Do you have any advice for procrastination? I also have a hard time concentrating, what do you do (or think I could do) that would help with that?

Hi! I’ve had a few questions like this recently so I’m just going to answer this one and hopefully anyone who asked a similar question will see it! But on with the answer. I think there is a few different reasons why we procrastinate so I’m going to note those down and give a few tips for each. You can obviously apply any ideas that you like regardless of what section I’ve put them under! 

1. You’ve got poor work/productivity habits. Generally you leave things until the last minute since you “work better under pressure”. (This is so me, omg.) You probably think you’ll do something after you’ve finished something else, and then never do. You get distracted whenever you’re trying to study and will sit waiting to feel motivated but it never comes. For this I’d suggest:

  • create a productive work environment - choose a space where you will actually work without distractions, organise your study space, have everything you need in easy reach. Surround yourself with things you find motivating such as quotes! 
  • write it out - write down a few manageable tasks that you need to do. Writing the actions they require will help you see what you should be doing to complete something, instead of just the overall task. One by one you’ll see yourself getting things done!
  • focus on 20-30 minute periods - generally we lose focus after a while so taking regular breaks can help give you chance to relax and refocus. Apps like Forest allow you to set a timer and will give you off your phone at the same time. Obviously if you’re being productive, don’t suddenly cut that off because it is “time for a break”.
  • use apps/browser extensions to cut out distractions - ones like RescueTime or StayFocusd will block you from checking certain sites.
  • find an accountability partner - pick someone who you can rely on to check on your regularly and see how your tasks are coming along. You can send them your to-do list and then every few hours you can update them with your progress. You won’t want to let them down.
  • use the two-minute rule - if something takes less than two minutes, do it. Don’t make an excuse, just do it. Tasks that are longer you can either delegate or defer. Here is a simple visualisation of what I mean.
  • record your progress - doing a simple “don’t break the chain” in your planner is a great way to see how productive you’re being and therefore get you more motivated to keep it up!

2. You’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Everything seems to be mounting up and nothing seems doable. You don’t know where or how to start. For this I’d suggest:

  • find some help - if you’re feeling like this, it is likely you need some help in some form or another. See if a family member, friend, classmate or teacher (or Google) can help or give you a starting point.
  • tell yourself that getting started is the first step - you don’t need to finish a task in a matter of minutes. Start doing something small. Maybe organise what you need, highlight the important bits of your assessment, or draft an essay plan. The secret to getting ahead is getting started!
  • divide and conquer - figure out what is the overall task that you need to do and split it into manageable parts. For instance with an essay the aim is to write it! Divide it into planning out what you want to write, any references you need, summarising a final draft and then writing each paragraph. By dividing bigger tasks into actionable parts you can reduce the obstacles and get through each part in a more timely manner.
  • reward yourself - create a reward system to celebrate completing a selection of tasks. By rewarding your progress you’ll build an incentive to work and reinforce productivity (great for your self-discipline!). 
  • learn to forgive yourself - if you have an off day, that is okay! You can’t expect to see a huge change in a short amount of time. Remember to come back to it later and try again.
  • don’t over schedule - if you’re feeling pressure from the amount of work and then the added pressure of trying to stick to a time limit, you’re just going to go crazy. Set yourself flexible times to get something done instead of being heavily structured. Give yourself time for a break and the ability to change tasks.
  • stick with one task - it can be so tempting to multitask but try not to. Try to keep focus on the what you’re doing until it is done. If you struggle with that, you could write down anything useful that you randomly think about for another task, use a break-time to think about that other task or alternate between subjects/tasks every few hours.

3. You’re a perfectionist. You either don’t want to start something out of fear you won’t get it right or you can stuck on stuck on the small details. There is a pressure to achieve “perfection”. For this I’d suggest:

  • focus on getting started, instead of finishing - it is easy to get overwhelmed thinking about what something is supposed to be like finished if you’re a perfectionist. Take things one step at a time.
  • remember that your perfectionist tendencies aren’t actually improving your work or productivity but hindering you - you’re continually setting yourself unrealistic objects and (like me) probably feel let down by yourself if you don’t reach them. Be realistic and focus on getting it done!
  • accept mistakes - you’ve written something wrong, don’t panic! Cross it out with a single line and move on. Things happen and you have to accept it. You can’t rip up the page every time you do something wrong, even if it is so tempting.
  • put things in perspective - is what you’re beating yourself up about right now going to mean anything in a week, a month, a year? Be honest if it isn’t, is it really worth putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
  • praise yourself through the process - try not to criticise yourself but recognise your progress. 

4. You’re wanting to do something else. You find whatever you’re doing boring. You want it to be over with but don’t want to get started. The ultimate catch 22, right? For this I’d suggest:

  • remember that putting it off isn’t going to make it go away - if you leave it too long you’ll end up getting more stressed about it. Best to get it over with. 
  • plan from the get-go - once you know something is coming up (e.g. a test, an assessment, etc) make notes on it! That could be questions, annotations, potential topics, citations, etc. By making the effort to spend time reading through, you’ll save your future self some stress. Especially if it’s a topic you have forgotten. That way your notes act as a reminder so you can get started.
  • set a finish time with a reward - tell yourself that if you finish something by ..am/pm and then you can do something else. Use your self-discipline to not go back on this. Set a realistic time and try to get it complete before. If you can think that you’re doing something fun once it is completed, you’ll be more motivated to get it done.
  • make a structure - for note-taking, it can be overwhelming looking at a textbook and thinking what you’re going to write out. Make a note-taking layout/colour code that works for you and that subject. Mine is here - it just give me an idea of how I’d lay everything instead of going in with no action plan. 
  • try to make it fun - this could be using YouTube to learn or starting a study group. Use different methods for memorising information such as flashcards, mindmaps or study guides (like question/answer).
  • make the effort to refocus - if you’re finding something boring and you’re unfocused, walk away for 5 minutes, get a drink and come back. If you’re really struggling, change topics for a while. Find a point where you can finish and start doing something else that is productive. 
  • listen to some music - generally music without lyrics are best for focusing. Spotify has a great playlist for studying called ‘focus’. However I find my regular music good for getting me a little more motivated and awake. I also like writing essays to music because I weirdly sort of type in the same rhythm. Funny study hack I’ve found that works for me haha! 

I hope that is useful! I must have copied and pasted my whole answer like 5 times just incase my tab reloaded and I lost everything, luckily not! You should also check out this post for smaller motivation tips and tricks! xx

  • To summarise
  • Season 1: Stefan falls in love with Elena. Damon rocks up and tried to tear that happiness away by either killing her or by "stealing her" from him (his words).
  • Season 2: Damon fucks up. Stefan ends up sacrificing himself to save Damon.
  • Season 3: Stefan is with Klaus, a price he agreed to pay in order to save Damon. He's also trying to keep Klaus away from figuring out that Elena is still alive. Meanwhile, Damon is doing everything in his power to make Elena fall for him.
  • Season 4: Elena and Stefan break up because she admits to having feelings for Damon. He's heartbroken, Damon admits to being gleeful. Stefan kidnapped, thrown in the ocean to die over and over again.
  • Season 5: Still drowning. Eventually found, but brain fried. Soz bro
  • Season 6: Downward spiral because he lost his brother. Pretty sure this is the season Enzo was obsessed with him.
  • Season 7: Saves Damon from being killed by the Huntress, ends up marked and leaving his new gf to be on the run
  • Season 8: Damon gets into shit. Gives up and forces Stefan to become a ripper to save the twins. Stefan makes ONE mistake and suddenly is the unforgivable villain. Sacrifices his life so that everyone else gets to be happy and after a few minutes no one even gave a shit.
  • That's his story y'all and I've left a lot of tragedy out. Fuck you writers for not giving happiness to the guy who's sacrificed the most (aside from Bon) over and over again.
I summarise heathers songs
  • Beautiful: School sucks unless your hot
  • Candy Store: Your not allowed to suck anymore
  • Fight for me: DAAMMNN you're hot
  • Freeze your brain: Take a fucking sip babes
  • Big Fun: underaged drinking! UNDERAGED DRINKING!
  • Dead girl walking: Sexy times
  • The me inside of me: Die in order to become even more popular
  • Blue: The fuck boi tune
  • Our love is god: I killed three people but I love you
  • My dead gay son: Dads out gay their sons
  • Seventeen: So sit in the naughty corner for murder
  • Shine a light: Your flaws are okay*
  • Lifeboat: My life's gone to shit now that all my rides to school have died
  • Shine a light reprise: *as long as they're socially acceptable
  • Kindergarten boyfriend: Still not over my ex, the song
  • Yo girl: Lol your life is shit
  • Meant to be yours: VERONICA openthe opentheDOOR plEAse
  • Dead girl walking: You thought you'd seen the last of me hah think again
  • I am damaged: You suck less than me so I'll die
  • Seventeen reprise: My boyfriend killed 4 people including himself but fuck that lets go watch the princess bride
10

Shadowhunters 2A + Quotes

anonymous asked:

May I ask you something that's not so much in Mor's favor? Don't you think that she should have told Az that she doesn't want him that way? She didn't need t come out to him in order to do that. Another reason to add how this whole plot was done horribly. It made her seem.. Not a great friend. She also said that she likes things the way they are to Feyre, she doesn't want to change things, it's comfortable for her (Az, her, Cass thing). I just.. Wish that all of this is different completely.

Right *rubs temples* we have finally reached a point I have been struggling with with this whole Mor…fiasco which is the tension between my desire to drag sjm through the mud for the way this was written…but also my intense desire to protect Mor’s choices as a queer character having agency with her own identity. This ask is going to be dedicated entirely to the latter (okay maybe not ENTIRELY but when I’m talking about  how Mor acted I’m going to do it in such a way that’s just ‘I wish all of this hasn’t happened how it did but it has and I’m working with what I’ve got here’) Clunky disclaimer out the way, let’s pick this apart… 

Right, first off,I would like to point out that it’s canon that Mor did actually try to talk to Azriel about this after he found her in the Autumn Court. However he wasn’t really listening and was doing some babble-confessing of his own at the time and she panicked. She was seventeen years old and the boy who just saved her life, who she knew she couldn’t be with, tried to tell  her that he loved her and she had no idea what to do so she panicked. After that it’s not really surprising she struggled with trying to explain things to him. 

Then  I think it’s important to remember a lot of things about the dynamic between Mor, Cass, Rhys and Az early on in the series when she knew Az and might have told him. So she’s only known Cassian and Azriel for two weeks when the whole Incident happens. The situation Mor is in is a  hell of a lot more complicated than ‘I slept with this one dude and this other dude loves me but I’m queer I’m not sure how to tell him’ (which is complicated enough in itself) 

Mor owes her life to all three of them at this point. Azriel saved her from the Autumn Court. Cassian and Rhys got her out of the Court of Nightmares and then proceeded to keep her out. So not is she indebted to them for saving her she is also completely reliant on them for her freedom. At this point in the canon we’re dealing with an extremely vulnerable queer girl who has been brutalised beyond belief and has only just been able to get out of her abusive situation. If the relationship she has with Cass Az and Rhys deteriorates she has nowhere else to go but back to her emotionally abusive homophobic family. 

Factor into that that she’s recently had sex with Cassian, largely because of Az and his jealousy over the two of them, and then walked away from that and the fact that she knows Azriel is in love with her but that she can’t reciprocate…I’m not surprised she’s terrified of telling them the truth. She’s grown up being told people like her are selfish and awful and that they should be forced into marriage and breeding regardless of how they feel about it, she probably believes that’s how Az and Cassian definitely, since she’s only known them about 3 weeks, will react to her. And Rhys grew up with them, they’re his brothers, she’s probably petrified of telling them the truth about her and having them all reject and abandon her which leaves her with nowhere to go but back to her father. I don’t blame her for not telling them. 

Then the War happens and she’s away from them all for a while and falls in love with Andromache and she has to go through losing her (twice) completely alone because no-one knows and she can’t tell t hem. She says herself that there was no-one for a few decades and like..Those aren’t circumstances where I’d feel like adding a whole  heaping pile of angst on top when she still isn’t sure how the boys will react so she just bottles things up and hides them away again. 

And then…Things settle out a little bit. The dynamic between her and Cass and Az finds something like what we see now, the three of them all tied together and loving each other just in different ways. And then she has to start trying to accept herself (Andromache was her first female lover and after that fell apart Mor was alone for decades, it’s hard to talk to people about something you barely understand or accept yourself) 

She has to unlearn the vile homophobia that she grew up with, she has to coax herself into trying to be with a woman again after what happened before, she has to try and explore this part of herself without letting anyone know…That’s hard. And so she finds Velaris, she finds Rita’s and at last she has a little safe place, a place where she experiment and be herself and so she does.  But that’s a safe place, a place that’s just hers, a thing that’s just hers, that no-one has yet managed to take away from her or destroy, and she feels this desperate urge to keep it safe because it’s all that’s kept her from breaking at times, knowing that no-one has ever truly known her

All of this takes time. Mor is healing and I know she’s a strong, confident woman when we meet her in ACOMAF and she’s had while to process all of this but…Abuse and that sort of homophobia and the trauma she was subjected to on top of then losing the only person she’s ever truly loved…That takes a lot of healing, that takes a lot of time to slowly build up an identity and a self-worth and by the time that happens…She needs the people around her. She has a support system in place and she deeply loves all of them. 

If she suddenly reveals that she’s queer that’s going to mess up her relationship with everyone in the Circle (except, perhaps, Amren) But everything will change and she’s only just managed to find herself and a place where she belongs and she has NEVER had that before. Cassian and Azriel both had difficult childhoods but they also both had Rhys and Rhys’ mother. Mor has not had a single positive, mutual, respectful relationship before Rhys, Cassian, Azriel and Amren. That is so fucking important for her recovery and her stability and I cannot find it in myself to shame her or hate her for wanting to keep that whole. 

Not to mention the fact that she knows this will hurt Azriel. And she loves him. I don’t care what bullshit that coming out scene spouts about her not being able to love him ‘the way he deserves’ because of her sexuality (which I have issues with) because she loves this man in a very deep, unconditional way and this will hurt him and she can’t bear that. 

So there are a lot of pressures surrounding her keeping her sexuality hidden. She’s petrified of her family, of the homophobia she grew up surrounded by and she wants to keep this one tiny piece of herself hidden from them, so they never truly know her and therefore can’t own or break her. She’s petrified of losing the Circle, who she owes her life, freedom, power and stability to, they’re her support system and the only truly positive relationships she’s ever known. of course she’s terrified of losing that? And she’s scared of hurting Azriel and wrecking her relationship with someone that she truly and genuinely loves, even if she doesn’t want to be with him romantically. 

Also I think, when you mention that she didn’t have to come out to explain things to Azriel I think….In this case it’s complicated by them? She’s already walked away from him once while he was trying to tell her that he loved her…If she just goes to him and tells him that she can never ever be with him without the context of her sexuality…That’s going to ruin him? And she knows that. She knows how he sees himself and she’s probably terrified of offering up that rejection because the Circle is Az’s safe space and support network too and she loves him. She cannot just say ‘I don’t want you, I never will’ because then it will just…sound like he’s not good enough for her and he never will be? It’s going to sound like a ‘him’ problem than it just being the way that she is and she knows that would shatter him. (You can argue all you like that this is an Azriel problem and it’s not on her to fix or attend to his insecurities, and it’s not, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for her to just shatter him like that? This is the reality of their situation) 

Also, on the subject of her not wanting to change it…I want to make it clear that I don’t think this is actively good for her. Like, I’m sorry, but if you think that Azriel, a straight man, is suffering more for Mor not feeling like she’s able to come out, feeling ‘petrified’ of facing him with this, than she is…I don’t know what to say to you. 

Being closeted is not fun. It’s not a little ‘straight passing’ card that you get to wave around so you can blend in with the normal people and not get noticed, it’s hard. It’s painful. It’s frightening. It’s constantly having to censor yourself whenever you’re talking to people, constantly worrying if they’ve figured it out even though you’re not ready, this constant paranoia and this guilt that builds up and the frustration and the hurt at not being able to be yourself. 

This situation is harming more exponentially more than it is Az and when she says that she doesn’t want it to change that’s not her being selfish. at all. 

(Especially when, as Mor told us herself in ACOMAF, she could peel her clothes off in front of Azriel and he wouldn’t move. He isn’t ready for this relationship anyway. He could have gone to her as well at any point in these 500 years and approached her about this and he hasn’t. Mor is not the only one maintaining this stasis between them and telling herself it’s ‘good enough’ this thing is mutual. 

Azriel isn’t technically losing out on anything by this because he hasn’t tried to make a move or talk to her about it and isn’t ready for the relationship himself? Maybe he could have moved on if she’d given him a concrete no but like…After five hundred years…He could have damn well just decided to move on for himself, like I’m sorry. A man should not need a flat out rejection from a woman (which, you could argue that he’d gotten when she walked away from him when he told her he loved her) to move on with his life, okay. 

He could have made that choice for himself she is not stopping him making that choice and she is not ‘stringing him along’ either, she isn’t hinting that oh maybe some day this might happen, not today but maybe tomorrow, she’s avoiding the subject and she has Cassian buffer them ffs to try and protect her from this. That’s not stringing him along, like, sorry) 

“Whenever Azriel makes his feelings clear, like he did with Eris … It’s stupid, I know. It’s so stupid and cruel that I do this, but … I slept with Helion just to remind Azriel … Gods, I can’t even say it. It sounds even worse saying it.”

“To remind him that you’re not interested.”

“I should tell him. I need to tell him. Mother above, after last night, I should. But …” She twisted her mass of golden hair over a shoulder. “It’s gone on for so long. So long. I’m petrified to face him—to tell him he’s spent five hundred years pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout … I like things the way they are. Even if I can’t … can’t really be me, I … things are good enough.

Right, regardless of how you personally view Mor’s sexuality (bi/gay/queer/whatever you wish) the fact of the matter is that, in canon, Feyre states THREE TIMES that Mor did not enjoy sleeping with Helion and that she got no pleasure out of it. She’s described as ‘pale and vacant’ the next day and during the coming out scene Feyre actually thinks of her as looking ‘tortured’ okay, she is not enjoying this. The fact of the matter is, Mor is repeatedly having sex with men…For Az. To keep him at a distance. This is…Like I’m sorry but if you can’t see how fucked up that is (for HER) I don’t know what to say to you. She’s repeatedly putting herself in sexual situations she may or may not want that she does not seem to enjoy…For Azriel. 

She is suffering here, okay. She is closeted, that’s painful, that’s hard in itself but she also has this to deal with. Azriel’s affection has kept her closeted (in part) all these years and she is PETRIFIED of facing him with this?? How can this possibly be purely selfish on her part? How is she the only one getting flack for doing what she needs to do to keep herself safe

Especially when it’s hurting her like? ‘Good enough’ it’s just..It’s like Lucien’s situation in the Spring Court. That was ‘good enough’ for him, yes he was being abused  horrendously, no he didn’t have any real agency or power over himself or freedom or love or respect but it wasn’t the abusive shithole he was trapped in all those years so it was ‘good enough’. 

That’s what this good enough is, okay. She cannot be herself. She cannot openly love who she wants to. She has to suffer heartache and grief alone and isolated because she can’t tell anyone how she feels. She is ‘petrified’ of facing Azriel. She is closeted and that hurts. She is also GUILTY AS FUCK. She’s doing all of this, hiding herself, hurting herself, sleeping with people she doesn’t get any pleasure out of, and has been doing this for five  hundred years and she still feels horrifically guilty about this. She’s said in that coming out scene too that she wants to be able to love Azriel the way he deserves but she can’t. She’s tried to change herself and has hidden herself and hurt herself all for this relationship that she doesn’t want, that makes her uncomfortable? 

She likes things the way that they are  because these are the first people who accepted even a part of her. They love her and they respect her and they treat her with dignity and gave her basic fucking needs from a relationship and that is ‘good enough’ for her. Because she grew up with emotionally and physically abusive homophobic parents who accepted no part of her, who treated her like an animal, or worse, and then she found this…She found this love and respect and of course she doesn’t want to change it. Of course she doesn’t want to lose it. Of course she’s terrified of telling them and seeing that same hatred that lived in her parents’ eyes. Even if she knows it’s irrational that doesn’t matter. She’s a terrified queer abuse victim and she is suffering, she cannot be herself, but that’s good enough because what choice does she have, really? 

Mor is a closeted, scared, vulnerable, abuse survivor who is petrified of losing the only safe space that she’s ever had just because of who she is. She is suffering 100 times more from this situation than Azriel or anyone else in the Circle. I will not sit here and call a queer character selfish or a bad friend or any of it for doing what she feels she has to to protect herself. Especially not when most of the things that she’s doing are more damaging for her than they are for anyone else. I love Azriel, I relate to his character a lot, but I’m not going to sit here and prop up this ‘oh no poor boy’ while Mor gets thrown under the bus because she is afraid. 

Her identity is her own and this choice, revealing this part of herself to who she chooses, is one of the only pieces of ultimate agency that she has ever had. I won’t say she was wrong to keep it hidden, keep it safe, if that made her feel okay. Mor’s situation is not ‘good enough’, Mor’s situation is deplorable and painful and I refuse to call her selfish for maintaining something like this because she is absolutely terrified of the alternative. 

Queer people have the right to be in the closet for as long as they need to be in order to feel safe. It is not for anyone else (especially not straight characters a la Feyre) to tell them when they should come out. They are not ‘liars’ for being closeted. They should not feel guilty for being closeted and keeping themselves safe. That’s a disgusting way of looking at things and it’s an incredibly damaging mentality to have. 

‘Out and proud’ is great, okay, but it’s not possible for everyone. A queer person’s safety comes first and if they feel that they need to keep their sexuality hidden in order to do so that is their choice. And it is not up to anyone, especially those who have no way of understanding what this feels like, to judge them or shame them or guilt-trip for that. It’s not selfish to want to protect yourself and not risk ruining the relationships you have with those around you for the sake of telling them something they do not have a right to know unless you choose it. 

In the end I will chose validating and defending a queer person’s decision to keep their identity hidden for their own personal reasons and safety over the feelings of anyone who feels like they might have been entitled to know this every. Single. Fucking. Time. 

Want to Improve your Communication Skills?

1. Listen carefully when others are speaking. Keep your mouth shut – and focus totally on them.

2. Never, ever talk over other people. This is disrespectful – and a real turn off.

3. Even if the person leaves an hour between each word, resist the temptation to complete their sentence for them.

4. Don’t interrupt - let the other person finish. Then, acknowledge what they’ve shared before adding your own thoughts.

5. Paraphrase or summarise what’s just been shared. It shows that you have listened – and are keen to understand.

6. Maintain good eye contact as this says you’re interested, and the speaker and their story are important to you.

Russ, J. (1983). How to suppress women’s writing. University of Texas Press.

The cover of Russ’s book does an excellent job of summarising its main argument: that women’s writing is deliberately devalued in a range of ways. It’s on the wrong subject matter, it’s the wrong genre, it’s morally objetionable, it’s not proper art. In 1983 Russ wasn’t writing specifically about fan fiction (yet), but fan fiction readers and writers will recognise these tactics employed against them. “She wrote about men banging! And it most definitely isn’t art - it’s derivative and unoriginal!”

One of my favourite moments in the book comes towards the end, when after some self-reflection Russ realises that she and other white women within academia and the feminist movement have been employing exactly the same tactics to devalue Black women’s writing. With recent debates on race in both fandom and Fan Studies, this powerful moment of realisation is worth keeping in mind.

Image description:

The cover of How to suppress women’s writing by Joanna Russ, which consists of the following text:

She didn’t write it. But if it’s clear she did the deed… She wrote it but she shouldn’t have. (It’s political, sexual, masculine, feminist.) She wrote it, but look what she wrote about. (The bedroom, the kitchen, her family. Other women!) She wrote it, but she wrote only one of it. (“Jane Eyre. Poor dear, that’s all she ever… “) She wrote it, but she isn’t really an artist, and it isn’t really art. (It’s a thriller, a romance, a children’s book. It’s sci fi!) She wrote it, but she had help. (Robert Browning. Branwell Brontë. Her own “masculine side.”) She wrote it, but she’s an anomaly. (Woolf. With Leonard’s help…) She wrote it BUT

anonymous asked:

Hey Emma, could you give me some productivity tips?

Hello! Here are a few:

  • clear desk, clear mind - I like to organise things before I start working. If things are messy, I get a little preoccupied and procrastinate even more. My suggestion is clear your desk, sort everything you’ll need to study and get on!
  • the two-minute rule - if a task that needs to be done takes less than two minutes, just do it. My dad has often suggested that this is a great way to sort out your priorities and so far it has worked for me. Things like checking my emails, cross off events from my planner, file something away don’t take long but get you in the mood for productivity. As they say “object in motion, stay in motion”.
  • break your time up - schedule your study time and any breaks you need to take. This helps structure your day and acts as a motivation to get things done. Especially if you can reward yourself at the end! Check out my printables for organising your time!
  • leave your phone alone - Like most people, I use my phone constantly but when I’m trying to work, it is best to leave it alone. Out of sight, out of mind. Try leaving it on silent and behind you so you aren’t tempted to pick it up after every beep. Use your break times to check it.
  • find your top three to five priorities - seeing a long list of things to do is usually, for some people, kind of counterproductive. Figure out the main things that need to be done and work on those. If you’re able to complete those main things, you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished the day’s necessities and may even want to complete some more.
  • try using a mindmap instead of a to-do list - apparently using a mindmap layout instead of a traditional list can help boost productivity. It is a little more funky way to see all your outstanding tasks and might not look as overwhelming as a super long list.
  • wear headphones - you don’t have to always listen to things but it can help block out any noise that can distract you. If you’re someone that likes some music, try songs with little or no words. This is a great playlist by Spotify.
  • don’t multitask - as much as you think you can do it, trying to multitask usually ends up in a confused mess and takes twice the time. Stick to one task at a time. If you think of something you need to do, write it down and do it later.
  • change things up - doing the same things in the same place can get boring. Make the effort every now and then to change where you’re studying or how you’re studying. This can include moving your studying from the desk to the kitchen table for a change of scenery or making flash cards instead of annotating your notes. Studying with a family member or friends is a fun way to get some work done!
  • be positive - most people have times when they just don’t want to study or anything, it is natural. However, it is not worth sitting staring at your books in an unmotivated mood just waiting to feel inspired. If you’re not feeling it, do something else for a while. Come back to it a bit later and have another go. Usually walking away and coming back is all you need to feel more productive.
  • focus on 20-30 minute periods - generally, we lose focus after a while so taking regular breaks can help give you chance to relax and refocus. Apps like Forest allow you to set a timer and will give you off your phone at the same time. Obviously, if you’re being productive, don’t suddenly cut that off because it is “time for a break”.
  • divide and conquer - figure out what is the overall task that you need to do and split it into manageable parts. For instance, with an essay the aim is to write it! Divide it into planning out what you want to write, any references you need, summarising a final draft and then writing each paragraph. By dividing bigger tasks into actionable parts you can reduce the obstacles and get through each part in a more timely manner.
  • make the effort to refocus - if you’re finding something boring and you’re unfocused, walk away for 5 minutes, get a drink and come back. If you’re really struggling, change topics for a while. Find a point where you can finish and start doing something else that is productive. 

Hope that helps :-)

170618 // I haven’t made a post like this in a while, but I’m revising for an exam right now and it’s the last thing I want to be doing so I’m procrastinating (don’t follow my lead kids).

How I use Digital Notes

I’ll make a more detailed post about how I study at some point, but for now:

  • I use microsoft onenote, but you can use whatever program you feel comfortable with.
    • Useful features of onenote include the organisation into notebooks, sections, and tabs, search function, equation support, tagging, and formatting options (inc. different heading styles).
    • You can find really great posts about onenote quite easily if you’re interested in how it works (I would 100% recommend it).
  • Throughout the year I type up my class notes, summarising information and organising it into a sensible order.
    • This took a lot of discipline and I fell off the bandwagon quite a bit. I initially intended to type up my notes from the day every evening, but I found it’s more realistic to just do it as often as possible and to aim to finish each topic’s notes before I move onto the next one.
  • When I come to revise for exams I will rewrite and summarise my notes on paper (writing out notes helps me remember them, but this may not work for you)
    • When I’m doing the first few past papers I’ll have my notes with me so I can look things up until I can do a paper without them.
      • I find this is more effective than using the mark scheme to help as the mark scheme basically gives you the answers.

Why Make Digital Notes?

Obviously digital notes don’t work for everyone, but I find they’re much more useful to have than notes on paper, at least before you start revising.

  • The main benefits of digital notes are:
    • typing is faster than writing
    • search functions (depending on the program) to look up information quickly
    • neater and faster formatting
    • you can back them up somewhere else so you don’t have to worry about losing or damaging them
    • you can bring all your notes with you without it weighing a tonne (assuming your laptop/tablet doesn’t weigh a tonne)
    • copy and paste! Ofc use this as infrequently as possible, but it’s useful for quotes etc.
    • pictures without the effort of drawing or printing out and sticking in
    • cheaper as you don’t have to buy pens and paper as often
    • an excuse to bring your computer into school and then go online shopping and play games during really boring classes no I haven’t done this what are you talking about so you have access to google etc. to look things up whenever

Prioritising

  • The only reason I’ve managed to keep up with my notes throughout the year is because I don’t take any for maths and I’ve kind of fallen off the bandwagon for French (whoops). It’s a bit unrealistic to expect to keep up with all the notes for all your subjects (particularly if you’re doing gcses), so prioritise.
  • Subjects like maths tend to assess a skill rather than knowledge, so it’s probably more useful to do practice questions rather than make notes.
  • If you’re dropping a subject in a year and won’t touch it again make sure it’s actually worth making notes for the whole year.

In Class or After Class?

Whether you write notes on the computer during class or afterwards depends on the class.

  • I’ve got one particular teacher who flits back and forth between topics and often mentions things without going into detail because she assumes we’re too stupid to understand (not my favourite teacher ngl). So I use my laptop in her lessons so I can go back to topics we’ve already done and so I can google things to fact check (she frequently dumbs stuff down to inaccurate levels) and expand on points that she makes.
  • If you’ve got a teacher that tends to move super fast it might be worth having a computer with you as typing is generally much faster than writing.
    • If you can’t touch type learning is a really good idea, even just to improve the speed of your typing (I can’t actually touch type but I took a course until I learnt to use all my fingers when typing and now I type much faster). There’s lots of free online courses available.
  • Alternatively, you can just make all your class notes on paper and type up the important information when you get home.
    • This means you don’t have to worry about your class notes being neat enough to revise from; after you type them up you can file them or even throw them away to save space.
    • It also works as a review which is really good for putting the information into your long-term memory.
    • However it is also pretty time consuming so you’ve got to be super disciplined to keep on top of it.
  • In my school at a levels I’ve found it’s not too unusual to have a laptop out but it’s a bit odd to have one at gcses (idk about other schools). Obviously you shouldn’t care about what other people think, but if having your laptop/tablet with you will make you feel self-conscious and uncomfortable then leave it at home.
    • Also laptops and tablets are expensive and it’s understandable if you’d rather keep them safe at home.
    • That said, people do get used to it. Even if you’re the only one with a laptop/tablet, the novelty wears off quickly.
  • Some teachers don’t actually like students using laptops and tablets during class, so do check before you bring it in.

I hope this helped! Of course if you have any questions about this (or anything else) my ask is always open please ask me something

Here’s where I post this and find 56 typos :/

there are so many ways to journal, here are a few ways that i choose to do it:

stream of consciousness- morning or night, just a stream of your thoughts without filtering them
daily/weekly/monthly playlists- could be your favourite songs at the time or just the songs you listened to throughout the day
letters- to anyone, family, friends, that stranger at the store with the cute jacket, you could even write one to your dog. just write whatever it is that you really want to say to them
gratitude journaling- either writing down a set amount/list of things you are grateful for or just prose about those things
thought organisers: lists, mind maps, other charts- use this when you have ideas, plans or when you’re just all over the place
scrap booking- ticket stubs, photos, post cards, etc.
summaries and reflections of days/weeks/months/years- reflect on how you feel, what you enjoyed, what you regret, or simply summarise what happened
brain dumps- any random ideas or notes to jot down throughout the day
planning- day plans, fun plans, creative plans, life plans