suit up batman

I’m debuting my new blog with a headcanon

  • look ok the Waynes don’t go to normal banks
  • what are they, poor?
  • but Jason does because he doesn’t have access to their money
  • I mean he is fucking dead
  • and fuck if he’s letting them give him any money
  • so Jason is in line at the bank
  • he looks like a normal guy, if a bit muscular
  • he goes by the name Todd Peters
  • bc he has a sense of humor gdi
  • and some guys in masks run in and shoot at the ceiling
  • they order everybody around
  • and the civilians “cower”
    • none of them are actually all that scared
    • they’re used to this ok
    • they deal with Scarecrow every other week ok they’re fine
    • they just figure this is easier than making a fuss
    • Jason’s pretty sure there’s only one bullet in that gun anyway
  • they start demanding the money
  • and Jason can’t just leave this bc he’s here
  • he might as well deal with it
  • so he stands and brings attention to himself
  • “hey!” he yells
  • they turn to him
  • and he just
  • he just fucking decks the closest one in the face
  • it’s a surprise bc nobody usually tries
  • he’s outnumbers like five to one
  • but he ducks their attacks and kicks their feet out from under them
  • and punches them all and basically just leaves them all black and blue
  • he ties them all up when he’s finished
    • bc of course he has fucking rope with him
    • why wouldn’t he
    • that’s a normal thing to have
    • (no it isn’t Jason what the fuck)
  • he couldn’t help but notice that as this was all happening
  • the civilians just quietly started making their withdrawals
  • the people at the desks thank him when they realized he was done
  • one person calls the cops
  • and then Jason realizes that there’s a camera in the bank
  • and he just makes his withdrawal and fucking books it
  • no doubt the bats will be seeing this footage soon
  • and he’s not about to deal with the police
  • he hides in a safehouse for a while in hopes that they don’t call
    • they do
    • bruce thanks him for leaving them alive
    • he doesn’t respond
  • *221B*
  • Sherlock: *sitting in his chair*
  • Rosamund: *sitting in his lap; frowning at a photo* What am I looking at, Uncle Sherlock?
  • Sherlock: *smiles* My baby *points* that's the head, see?
  • Rosamund: *fascinated* Wooow...all those squiggly lines are a person?
  • Sherlock: *chuckles* Yes.
  • Rosamund: Your person.
  • Sherlock: *nods* Yup. And your Aunt Molly's.
  • Rosamund: *giggles* It's funny.
  • Sherlock: Hmm?
  • Rosamund: *still laughing* Aunt Molly has a person in her. How did you put it there?
  • Sherlock: *snorts* Oh, no *lifts her and stands* I'm not having that conversation for another twenty five years.
  • Molly: *enters; grinning* Hello.
  • Rosamund: *happily* Aunt Molly! *runs over; hugs her, whispers* hello, little person.
  • Molly: *smiles* You told her, then?
  • Sherlock: *nods* Oh, yes *pats Rosie's head* you're going to be a godcousin, aren't you?
  • Rosamund: *excited* Uh-huh.
  • Molly: *giggles* Is that so?
  • Sherlock: *nudges Rosie* Pyjamas, young lady. I'll be in soon.
  • Rosamund: *sighs* Okay, Uncle Sherlock. Night Aunt, Molly. Night, little person *runs off*
  • Molly: *calls* Night, Rosie *hugs Sherlock* I'm glad she took it well.
  • Sherlock: *kisses the top of her head* Mmm *pauses* John has some questions to answer, though.
Lego Batjokes Prompt #100 ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ˜„

“Joker, the point of tuxedo dress-up party is to change into DIFFERENT tuxedos.”

“I am.”

“No, you’ve literally come out over and over in the same purple jacket and pants you wear all the time.”

“What!? Are you blind!? They were all completely different. That last one was violet and this one is obviously plum.”

6

[…]Invest in Gotham. Treat its people like family, watch over them, and use this money to safeguard them from forces beyond their control. My deepest regret is I will not see you grow into the good man I know you will become. And finally, my son… I ask that you never abandon this city to fate. We have lived through dark days, and no doubt there are more to come. But it is the good and great men who stand up for Gotham when others turn and run… In death, I will love you forever.

Siblings

โ€œPairings: Damian Wayne x sister!Reader, Batfam x batsis!reader

Requested by anon:ย  Hiiii can I request more Damian x batsis but she is 5 years old and can it be super fluffy just like the one of avengers assemble, I swear it was the cutest thing ever๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’— it can be about Halloween and matching costumes or going to the park or him helping her with kindergarten homework just something really fluffy

I hope you like this anon, I struggled through this one. In the accountancy period. I write in school. I get in trouble. Who cares.

Keep reading

Lost Brother’s Found: Part 3

Prompt: As Wally West’s sister you refuse to give up on him, or his son. So when a chance comes to save your brother, you rally he troops and head to a new dimension.

Part 1, Part 2


“This is so weird.”

    You smile at M’Gann, “Tell me about it. They’re our age, or close to it.”
    You watch as she crosses her arms, “He’s alone you know?”

    Your eyes slide to this dimension’s J’onn, and you nod, “The white Martians eliminated the greens. It wasn’t pretty.”

    You watch as her eyes well with tears, “It’s the other way in our world. White Martians are the second class citizens.” You don’t say anything to that. M’Gann had told you her history, you knew her past. Despite the turmoil she head endured she still loved Mars, and J’onn had always been very kind to her.

    Leaning against the wall you say, “You should talk to him. Share your memories with him.”

    She rejects the idea quickly, “I don’t want to taunt him with what he doesn’t have.” With a sigh you make eye contact with Conner and motion with your head. He immediately makes his way over to his girlfriend and you slip away.

    You make your way out of the conference room and into the general station. You pass by many of the civilians who help man the station, and give small nods here and there.You eventually find yourself staring out the window at the moon. Arms wrap around your waist and you smile at Dick’s reflection in the window.

    “I see you escaped Bruce.”

    Dick’s smile is grim, “He’s a pain in the ass no matter the dimension.”

    You turn in his arms and brush the hair out of his face, “You love him.”

    He smiles at you, and shrugs, “Of course, he’s my dad.”

    Your comm device beeps a second later and Artemis’ voice comes through, “Could I get you and Nightwing in the conference room please.”

    “On our way.”

    Together the two of you make your way through the station back to the conference room. You slip in unnoticed to find Wally playing with Ryan. The smile on Artemis’ face says everything, you wrap an arm around her shoulders, and she leans her head against yours. Her voice is hoarse when she says, “This moment is perfect. It’s everything I dreamed it would be.”

    You can only smile, as Wally turns towards you, “Thank you for helping her. For taking care of … my son.”

    You smile at him, “Anything for my big brother.”

    His eyes float to Dick, “And thank you for watching out for all three of them.” you watch your boyfriend smile at his oldest friend, before Wally drops the bomb, “It almost makes up for you banging my sister!”

    Your force yourself to choke back the laughter, as Dick’s face fills with fear. You watch as your brother stalks towards your boyfriend, “And then there’s the big pity party you threw yourself, and you stopped being a hero, what the hell were you thinking?”

    You watch the two of them run out of the room, and bend down to scoop up your nephew. You smile as he places sloppy kisses on your cheeks, “It almost feels normal.”
    Artemis shrugs, “I was never overly fond of normal.” With a smile the two of you follow after the boys. You find them in the mission control, dancing around and dodging each other. “I mean you didn’t even come up with your own version of the suit!”

    “Oh shut up you Batman, wannabe, circus performer!”

    “Does this make Ryan Kid, Kid Flash? What about Flash Jr? Or there’s Pint Size Flash?”

    You smile as an arm slings around your shoulder. You smile as M’Gann lets out a little squeal, “It’s just like old times.”

    Your eyes drift to the hero’s looking down at you, “Not quite.”

    “Flash!” The yell catches you slightly off guard as you turn to look at the Batman, “A word if you will.”

    Your eyes flicker to Dick, and watch as his face goes serious. You scowl, the two friends had been separated for years, the least these people could do was give your brother a few hours with his loved ones.

    You pass Ryan to Dick, and move your hands to your hips, as you stare at the group.

“They’re talking about us.”

    You turn to Conner and grin, “I could have told you that, and I don’t even have super hearing.”

    He smiles at you, as M’Gann reaches out and takes Ryan from Dick. “They don’t trust us and they’re worried the Wally is being fooled by his emotions, or that J’onn isn’t willing to dig deeper because there’s another Martian around.”

    Conner smiles at you, “Well aren’t you smart.”

    You shrug, “It’s a gift.”

    “Why are we even letting them debate us? It’s not like we need them. We know what Savage is after. We just have to find it first, and destroy it. Then we can all go back home, and leave this stinking world behind.”

    You turn to Roy, “I’m sorry, did you just say stinking.”

    His sigh is a weary one, “The baby is getting ready to talk and we don’t want a repeat of what happened with Lian. Jade’s mom gave us grief about that.”

    You shrug, “It’s not that simple Roy. Wally’s made a home here. He’s a founding member of the Justice league. He’s this world’s Flash.”

    M’Gann’s voice is soft, “Do you think he’d choose this world over us?”

    Artemis’ voice is firm, “If he wants to stay, then Ryan and I are staying too.”

    You take a deep breath, “We don’t know what’s going to happen, so let’s not draw any lines in the sand just yet.”

    Dick takes your hand in his, “Well it looks to me that we’re about to find out, exactly what’s about to happen.”

    You turn to watch the Justice League walk towards you, a sense of foreboding in your stomach.

an hour ago I was walking Raven by the river and a bat flew straight into my face and honestly if that’s not the most halloween shit ever idk what is

Catwoman is the reason I read DC comics - I was so enchanted by her as a kid, I wanted to be her… actually, I still do. A bit inspired by Relentless.

Pennyworth Down!

Prompt: Could you do a Tim Drake x reader where the reader is really close friends with Tim and knows about the batfam and so one day she’s staying over at the manor and they need someone to man to computers bc there so much stuff going on and so they bring her down and she helps them and ends up becoming vital to the batfam or something Thank you!!

Pairing: Tim Drake X Reader

Word Count: 609

TW: None

You had known about Tim being Robin the moment he got the job. The two of you had been close since infancy, you had no secrets between the two of you. So, you had gone over to the manor for sleepovers constantly. Bruce wasn’t a big fan of you knowing the secret, but when he saw they way you always had Tim’s back at school, he couldn’t really argue.

You had been over for another sleepover, Tim was ready for a movie night, Bruce was going around town being Batman. When the Riddler had struck.. make that Riddlers, there were multiple riddlers running around Gotham, and Alfred had a cold!

Tim and You both rushed to the grandfather clock and threw the door open when the alarms sounded, Batman was caught in a riddle, and Alfred struggled to get past the two of you to get down the stairs, “No,” Tim chastised the older man, “Alfred you need to get back to bed!”

But you could hear Bruce on the comm unit, “Alfred?!? Alfred are you there?”

You decided to take matters in your own hands. You turned to Tim, “get alfred in bed Tim, then get suited up and to Batman. I’ll man the computers.”

Tim nodded and turned the feverish Alfred around. You leapt down the stairs two at a time. You raced over to the big computer. You picked up the ear piece that was sitting on it,“Hello? Mr. Wayne, it’s Y/N! Pennyworth is down, you’re going to have to deal with me for now.”

There was a graon as Batman lamented his position as well as fought off one of Riddler’s henchman, “Alright Little Wing, get on the Batcomputr and start pulling up the schematics of this place. Than get Robin out here to assist me.”

You pulled the wheel chair up to the computer and started typing away, getting used to the controls while asking questions to make sure you were doing it right. You got Tim out and guided him to Batman, both of you working in tandem to save the caped crusader.

Several Years Later

You tapped away at he batcomputer keys, calling orders on the comm units, “Bluebird, go left, that way you can catch the baddies off guard. Robin, do not open that door unless you wanna get electrified.” You had laser focus, saving the team more times than Tim could count as he limped into the bat cave. That cast around his ankle had not been your fault, he had engaged the crooks against your advisement.

Tim wrapped his arm around your front as he leaned against the chair, “Hey beautiful,” He cooed, “How’s it going?”

You smiled up at him and sighed, “Good. How are you feeling?”

“Like a caged bird,” Tim admitted, his focus going up to the screens that showed all the active patrolling members of the Batfamily. Babs leapt over one henchman to kick another in the face, “Ooo, would hate to be him.”

You sprang into action, “Cass, get back in the shadows you have a patrol unit headed your way!” Blackbat leapt up into the fathers as a heavily armed patrol unit ran right under her. You looked up at Tim, “Sorry babe, is there anything I can do for you?”

Tim shook his head, “No, just wanted to check our fearless eyes in the sky. When you get a break I’d love to go grab a bite with you though.”

You smiled and lifted his hand to kiss it  before you started barking orders again. You turned to look at him, “Thanks babe, sounds great, I give it another half hour tops!”


Tags: @nervouswastelandvoid