sugaring success

Where Every Brown Sugar Baby Should Look for Her Next Sugar Daddy and Why

The more the game changes, the more it stays the same.

     Best friend, my first disappointment with sugaring came when I realized that sugaring sites were not for me. When I joined Tumblr, I was surrounded by stories of women who signed up for Seeking Arrangement and within an hour found their inbox full of messages from men willing to hand them the world or at least a pair of So Kate’s on the first date. When I joined Tumblr, I thought that I was going to command large allowances just because I existed, not because I did any work. I learned otherwise.

     My successes with sugaring came when I got very clear about what exactly it was that I was sugaring for. I realized that I couldn’t make myself care about designer goods. They’re pretty, and I loved looking at them on Instagram but dating a man so he could buy me luxury goods just did not seem like a lot of fun. But art supplies? Everything I needed to write a novel and maintain my blog? That sounded much more feasible. As soon as I committed to it, it happened. As soon as I got off the sugaring sites, it happened.  

     As an introvert, I did get off the sugaring sites, but it took me quite a while to get off the internet. I used Tinder to find the three gift daddies that I had. Last month, I went free styling for the first time.   

     There is a general horror around free styling that, trust me, I understand. If I didn’t have to leave my house, I wouldn’t. But I realized a few things. The sugar sites are not set up for you to succeed. We, as sugar babies, are the draw that is used to attract men with money and unrealistic dreams.  

     Do you want to have the perfect relationship? A young, beautiful, smart woman who will hang off your every word and, unlike escorts, will be with you and you alone for a fraction of the price that escorts are demanding? Sign up for a membership with our site at the low price of $39.99/month and become a sugar daddy tonight!

     While this might not be the exact language the sites are using, I guarantee if you go on any of the sugar sites you will see something similar being touted to men.  I also promise that the men that have the real potential to be amazing sugar daddies and give you things you didn’t believe that you could get aren’t on these sites.

     And, honey, maybe you haven’t noticed but online dating-sugar or vanilla- is not set up for black women to succeed. I’ll say it once more. You’re far more likely to find the man you’re looking for when you let go of the sugar sites.
So what happens next? Next, you change your mindset. There is one thing that needs adjustment, your attitude, in two different areas. The first is what a sugar daddy looks like. Maybe you don’t have this problem. But I do. I tend to find myself thinking that sugar daddies look a certain way. They’re white and in their 40’s-50’s. Most of them are married. But this isn’t what sugar daddies look like. They can be any age. They can be any race. They can be anywhere. When it’s time to free style, don’t think that if a Black man, an Asian man, a Martian, whatever, approaches you that because they don’t fit in with the idea of what you think an SD looks like you can’t pay any attention to them.

     There will be three types of men that you’ll meet when you go out: cheap men that would like your time and attention for free, men that will simply ask how much you want or make it known that they have no problem paying you, and men that are willing to spend money on you but need some type of connection with you first. Ugh, connection. Don’t you hate that word? Men should just hand us money because we asked for it right? We’re young, we’re beautiful, we’re smart. Just fork over the coins.

     But consider this. How often do you give money to complete strangers because they asked for it? How often have you walked up to an attractive or interesting looking person with $5 that you know you don’t need and said: “here this is for you just because you look cool or like you needed a little help”? Never right? If we were a society where that was the norm homelessness would not be an issue. No, we give our money to people we like, to people that have bettered our lives in some way, to people we trust. But, still. That word-connection. Months and months of dates. Maybe even putting out. That must be what I mean, right? Nope. Not what I mean at all. A connection can be made in 15 minutes or 15 months. It really just depends on how well your personality meshes with his.

     How do you tell these men apart? Let’s build a scenario, shall we? Let’s say you meet a man at a bar. You each talk a bit about who you are and what you do for a living. His job sounds promising. You don’t know exactly how much he makes but when you google it in the bathroom after touching up your lipstick you see that it’s an acceptable amount. He buys you a drink to continue the conversation you’ve already started, but when the night ends, he doesn’t pick up the tab you had started before he sat down. Splenda! Salt! That’s what Tumblr will tell you. I say wait. You spend some time texting. He says he wants to take you out. This is when we find out what kind of man he is by analyzing a few things:

  • Where does he want to meet? TGIFridays or one of the best restaurants/bars in the city. Look at where he wants to take you and why. If he asks you where you want to eat and then shoots it down because it’s overpriced or “just not his scene” you have two options: dig your heels in or run. My first meeting with Bentley took some time to plan because he shot down the restaurants that I chose as not being good enough for a first date. It was a good first sign. 
  • How and what do they order? We know what a man who doesn’t want to spend a lot of money looks like when he orders at a restaurant or bar. He asks if there are any discounts or deals. Asks what’s the best and cheapest drink or food item on the menu. Makes “jokes” about how expensive everything is. 
  • How do they look when you order? A man that asks if you want anything else after you’ve decided what you want is a keeper. A man that asks what you want scans the menu and then asks if you’re sure you want those things or if you’d be happy with something cheaper presents you with two options: to dig your heels in or run.
  • What are they talking to you about? A man that talks about sex as soon as he meets you only wants you for one thing and it ain’t playing cards. Now, if he’s willing to compensate you for that time in a way that you find acceptable, fine. Get your money girl. If you want a man that cares about you as an individual but he can’t stop talking about how well he’s doing on Viagra, you have two options. Dig in or run. I suggest you run, but this is your life, not mine
  • Do they listen when you speak? Do they remember what you said? I got my first laptop from a man who listened when I talked about wanting to write. I got my second laptop and art supplies from a man who listened to my business plan. If they can’t hear you, they can’t help you. 

     When the date is over, look at this man’s behavior. You’ll know if he’s the type of man that you can keep in your life. If he isn’t, let him go. LET HIM GO! Don’t, please friend, don’t hang on to a man because you don’t think that you’ll be able to get another. This game isn’t for the desperate that need quick cash because their life is falling apart. This is going to take time. You’ll find yourself getting dressed up and going out quite a few times before you find a man that you’re willing to stick with. If you understand this from the beginning, that reaching any goal is going to take time, you’ll be far less likely to fail.

     I’d like to give one piece of controversial advice. Do not ask for a gift or token or whatever you want to call it on the first date. Remember what we talked about earlier? About how we don’t give away our hard earned money to strangers or the undeserving? This applies here. And I know, I know. The posts of girls that say they asked for a gift and got one is so much more fun to read than what I’m saying, but here we are best friend, here we are.

     You do have one thing on your side. Men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. Vanilla men know this. They know. I’m going to say it one more time, best friend so it really sinks in. All men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. What’s more, they know that the younger and better looking a woman is, the more they will have to spend. Your job is not to convince a man to spend money on you. He already knows he should. Your job is to separate the men willing to spend from the men not willing to spend by opening up your mouth and talking about what you want. Talk about college and the class that you’re going to be taking, but god isn’t it crazy how expensive books are? Talk about how much you love to write, but your laptop broke. Talk about how you want to get into digital photography but don’t know what camera to get or if you can afford to buy one. Give it a couple weeks. The right man will show up with a laptop, or an iPad, or a book, or a camera or whatever it is you say you need. The wrong man won’t have made it past the first date.

Happy hunting, best friend.

Best friend, be honest, what did you think? Do you think you could ever get off the sugar sites? Go free styling? Do you think my approach makes any sense or is something that could work for you? Leave me a comment and let me know so we can talk about it.

I feel sorry for the successful...

In school, I had almost perfect grades. I was constantly told how smart I was…how successful I’d be…

And, it took me until my 30′s to actually learn to listen to other people and ask for help.

For some topics, it took me until almost 40.

As a result, I fell behind a lot of people my age in some very important areas in life–because I thought I should have it ‘all figured out’ or be able to ‘think’ my way out of every problem that came my way.

Those people who knew they were average also knew they needed help to succeed. As a result, they asked for and got help.

And many of them accomplished much more than I did, as a result. 

Why am I saying this?

If you are reading this, you probably know you are beautiful.

You might also be smart, talented, and have a host of other virtues.

This is no excuse to go it alone.

In fact, trying to do everything alone becomes a terrible trap that leaves you stuck right where you are or worse…

For the last couple years I have been working with high-flyers. Geniuses. The ‘high achievers’.

For them, like me…the ego was a place that left them lonely and trapped and afraid.

“No one can find out who I really am.”

I was impressive. But I was lonely. Inside, I was dying.

It’s ok to be someone who needs others. 

It’s ok to be someone who needs help.

It’s ok to reach out for that help.

And it’s ok to receive help.

In fact, it’s kinda the only way for us to get a lot of the things that we want.

If you’re instantly successful, it can lead you down a terrible path. Be warned. 

Be wise. (Which means admitting that you are not about everything! :)

Love Tea

A blend designed to be enjoyed with an existing romantic partner, to strengthen the passion between you!

*This spell is designed to be performed either alongside the partner, or with their informed and willing consent. Never do a targeted love spell on someone without their consent!

Ingredients: (All in intuitive amounts/to taste)

  • Rose petals (Love, friendship)
  • Orange [peels] (Abundance through love, vitality)
  • Mint (Love, lust, communication)
  • Cinammon (Love, success)
  • Sugar/Honey (Love, lust)

Perform on a Friday/Waxing Moon for best results. Prepare and drink the tea with your partner, enjoying each other’s company and talking about your relationship and why you like each other!

what makes the signs happy
  • Aries: making other people laugh, burritos, feeling the sun's warmth on their skin, photos of dogs, taking pictures, gaming, long drives
  • Taurus: good food, hanging out with friends, food, sports, lunch, going outside, dinner, stepping into a hot shower after a hard workout, eating
  • Gemini: taking walks in the fall and watching the multicolored leaves float away from the trees, chocolate flavored everything, being introduced to new music, doodling, napping, holding someone they love, exchanging secrets
  • Cancer: a Lot of Money, soft hair, shopping, self-deprecating memes, their mom, going on vacations, taking really good pictures of their pet
  • Leo: memes, dogs, sugar daddies, making successful tumblr posts, mint flavored gum, joining cults, buying athletic clothes and not using them for athletic purposes
  • Virgo: the word of god, the beatles, fucking her right in the pussy, jesus the christ, costco muffins, literally dying, watching the sun set
  • Libra: taking snapchat selfies, exercising, getting a fresh haircut, gaining followers on tumblr, parties, Leaving This Dark Earth™, and a good, hearty pun
  • Scorpio: when they're sitting next to their fireplace with a warm blanket around them and they can hear the strong winds whirling outside but they can't see it because the downfall of snow is so thick that when they try to look outside all they can see is white and their cat snuggles up to them and everything seems so nice and warm in the moment that you actually think life is enjoyable especially after strangling your physics teacher when he didn't give you an a in the class even though you completed every assignment and aced every test he still gave you a B because you didn't give him his weekly allotment of cocaine like you were supposed to and you didn't mean to kill him but he started threatening you for his drugs and he wouldn't raise your grade to an A for ten grams of coke which wasn't your fault and you did nothing wrong no matter what the cops say.
  • Sagittarius: nothing, dying, suffering, waiting for the end of the world, getting anons, ice water, listening to music
  • Capricorn: watching netflix, cuddling, being in love, sleeping in, going on hikes, tattoos, cute vines of puppies
  • Aquarius: ice cream cake, watching disney movies, discussing and analyzing old spongebob episodes in depth, pranking other people, feeling their legs after they shave, fruit smoothies, getting into a good book
  • Pisces: not being sad

I also think if you want to be successful in “sugaring” it’s good to have a bit of sex work background (escorting, stripping, camming and so on) or at least not be whorephobic. So many girls are so whorephobic and just don’t want to ask for things (money, gift etc) because they don’t want to be seen as prostitutes and these men are totally playing along (trust me these guys don’t care wether you’re a whore or not most of the online crowd are escort rejects or are looking for one at a discounted price). Some of y'all need to get over themselves and stop thinking you’re better than sex workers.
Plus men with actually money aren’t going to be on SA, sorry to break it down to you.

Freestyling is hard and scary but it’s also much more lucrative. And I think “sugaring” is a mindset (hate the word sugaring btw haha), it’s a lifestyle: you have to choose to ONLY date men of a certain calibre (aka wealthy), set your expectations: you want to be taking care of, wether it’s with money and gifts or whatever you need. You’ve got to be ready and look the part at anytime of the day (walking your dog, at the grocery store etc), go where the wealthy hangout (bars, restaurants, stores, gyms, cafés, the list goes on) to catch a sponsor.

For example I decided to be (what men who can’t afford me qualify as) a HIGH MAINTENANCE HOE. I’m not talking, not hanging out, not breathing with any man who isn’t FINANCING me period. When I started I was the dumb and naive girl who was too scared to mention an allowance before end and would wasted so many hours on lunches and dinners for NOTHING. Your company is WORTH something, not even talking about SEX (y'all need to realise that some of us escorts even offer diner and lunch dates and other social outings, just not for free ;) ). If you don’t talk money, we aren’t talking at all. And men are NEVER afraid to ask for what they want (sex, nudes, flood you with messages etc) CLOSE MOUTHS DON’T GET FED. I’ll be subtile and finess these guys for sure but I’m sure in hell not going to give them any attention if I’m not getting anything from them. Can you imagine spending thousands on your hair, make up, clothes just for a free diner and to gass up some random man’s ego (young, old,hot fat, idc)? And go home with nada, not even taxi money? Haha not today, it’s 2017: WAKE UP.

And also get OFFLINE and go places where you’ll find actual wealthy and worthy men. It’s easier said than done but if you want that cash you’ve got to get out of your confort zone and put in the work.

Don’t get me wrong, you can make a bit of money online but your chances are slim and you might as well put on an escorting ad somewhere or stick to p4p, the rest is just a waste of time. Some escort and stripper clients will become regulars than sponsors for example so stop looking down on us thank you ;)

Being a SB, kept woman, trophy wife, what have you, is a state of mind, a concept, un art de vivre. Either you’re about that life and can make gold, or you’re just not cut out for it and you’ll still face the same struggles (which is fine btw no shades). Are you willing to put in the work?

No Luck Finding a Sugar Daddy? It’s Not You, It’s Your Profile

Success in the sugar world is hugely a numbers game: the more sugar daddies you are in contact with, the better your chances of landing yourself in an ideal sugar arrangement.

You want to put yourself out there as much as possible and this requires action – searching and reading profiles, crafting emails, engaging in banter – but there’s only so much action you can take. You have a life, right?

In order to succeed in finding a sugar daddy without spending all your time in front of a computer, you need to make the passive aspects of the sugar search work for you – this means making your profile the stickiest, most memorable profile a sugar daddy is going to view that day and hopefully, that week.

This is why I recommend springing for a paid membership on at least one of the best sugar daddy websites so you can “Feature” your profile and attract the most sugar daddy eyeballs to it as possible.  At the same time, there’s no point in paying to prominently feature your profile if the profile text reads like drying paint.

If you’re not having much success reeling in a sugar daddy, check your profile to see if you’re guilty of the profile mishaps listed below.

Sugar Baby Profile Mistake #1. “I like the finer things in life”

If I had a penny for every profile that says this…well, I wouldn’t need a sugar daddy. Not only is this description completely redundant (who, tell me, who doesn’t enjoy the finer things in life?), it’s akin to broadcasting how you are absolutely no different from every other bland sugar baby out there.

The average sugar daddy is successful and well-versed in the “finer things in life” – which means his taste in sugar babies is going to be above average. He’ll want the whole package – looks, wit, and personality. The worst sugar baby sin is to bore your sugar daddy.

Generic statements = unmemorable sugar baby.

Tip: Spend a minute thinking about what qualifies as the “finer things in life” to you. Describe the things you like, how you like to do it, where you like to go, what you like to eat. Present it in an interesting, engaging way. Tell a story.

Example: “Last night, I traveled to Tibet. A Buddhist monk I met there told me that every new person I meet is no stranger at all – every new meeting is a result of our souls having met 100 times before. And then I woke up. I don’t get to travel as much as I’d like, but I dabble in the art of pleasure-making wherever I am. I’m more inclined to the fun, the fabulous, the decadent – is there anything more sensuous than sipping champagne mid-day? Playing hooky to peruse the Surrealists at a local gallery? Bantering over a platter of fresh oysters at a restaurant by the seaside? I say not. If you agree, let me know and we’ll arrange our (one hundred and) first date.

Sugar Baby Profile Mistake #2. “I need some help”

Yes, that’s part of the reason you’re seeking a sugar daddy. Sugar daddies already know this. They want to help you, to spoil you. But you know what? The old adage – “The crying baby gets the milk” – is NOT true in the sugar world.

Many sugar babies fall into the trap of thinking that if they broadcast themselves as charity cases, sugar daddies will be more inclined to help them out financially. Instead, they come off looking desperate. No one likes desperation.

The most successful sugar babies don’t broadcast their need for financial handouts. They focus on where they want to go in their life – which sugar daddies are far more likely to want to help out with.

They also emphasize what they can do for their sugar daddies instead of what they themselves need. Remember, the sugar relationship is mutually beneficial. He already knows he’s going to help you financially, so now focus on what you’re going to offer him.

Sugar Baby Profile Mistake #3. “Looking to be spoiled”

Oh, darling, aren’t we all? We all want someone to cater to our every whim and fancy – and that includes sugar daddies too. A real sugar daddy will spoil you, whether you ask for it or not. But in order to hook such a man, you’re going to have to be more creative than “want to be spoiled.”

At best, this makes you look uncreative. At worst, you come off entitled, unrealistic, and selfish. A fake sugar daddy might find this funny enough to play with you for a bit, but the real sugar daddies will probably pass on you.

Remember – most sugar daddies became rich by making good business decisions – not by lavishing their money on investments that promise no returns.

Instead of asking to be spoiled, start with what he wants to know first: what do you have to offer him?

OK Why are there all of a sudden SALT BABIES

Right so I’ve been out of the game for a little over a year, so maybe this is a new thing, but why on earth are there girls classing themselves as sugar babies, but are anything but?

Now, I’m not one to bitch about how any girl runs her hustle. We’re all in this together at the end of the day, and sure as shit there’s enough sugar daddies to go around. Hell, some of us probably even share SD’s without knowing and he STILL provides for us.

What I’m confused about is why a girl is saying she’s a sugar baby, but makes $150-200 a week IF that, but sees her ‘SD’ 2-3 times a week and is intimate with him.

Firstly, hunny you’re being played SO HARD. If you’re getting $200 a week, and seeing your SD even ONCE a week, for intimacy and dates or nights in, you’re making $100 a night. Prostitutes and escorts make way more than that. If that is ALL YOU’RE MAKING and you’re not getting gifts or travel or anything else out of it, maybe you should re-evaluate your choice of sex work.

I know that $200 a week is enough for some girls, and if you genuinely like your SD and you’re happy with getting $100 a night, ok! Good for you! But as a favour, please do a few things.

1) Make sure you’re not undervaluing yourself. You are worth as much as you think you are. I regularly get men offering me £100 for 12+ hours, and I turn them down. Hell, for 12+ hours (INCLUDING SLEEPING) I wouldn’t accept less than £1000 ($1300). My monthly allowance MINIMUM is £2800 plus gifts and travel for 2-4 times per month. If he can’t provide what I NEED, I walk away.

2) Don’t advertise your blog as what girls should be realistically aspiring towards. Firstly, this undermines all the hard work that SB put in to getting their SD, and makes potential daddies believe that they don’t need to pay higher amounts for high quality women - we are all of high quality and DESERVE the best, but if you’re telling potential SB’s that they should be aspiring towards making $300 a week, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your own hustle.

3) Don’t call yourself successful. $200 a week is $800 a month. I can’t even pay half my damn rent with that. If I’m seeing a guy 6-8 times a month for $800, i’m not a successful Sugar Baby. I wouldn’t even call myself a Splenda Baby. I’m a Salt Baby. You’re allowing men to dictate how much money they want to give you. Being an SB is about power, it’s about the hustle and the game. Care for these men. Like these men. Let them THINK they have the power, but NEVER EVER give it up to them. You are in control.

You should always be in control.

OFFICIALLY Back in the Bowl

3 weeks ago, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. This was the man I had given up sugaring for. This was the man I moved 3,000 miles for. This was the man who I was going to marry. I was heartbroken and jaded, pining over him and wanting him back with every single cell in my body. But then I realized…I will NOT beg for someone to be in my life if they don’t want to be a part of it. I should always prioritize myself and my own success. So…after a year long hiatus, I jumped back in the bowl.

Now, I have a generous sugar daddy and several more POTS in the works. It dawned on me tonight (after receiving an allowance WAY more than I make in my vanilla career) FUCK these “traditional” relationships. Why would I sacrifice my own success to be with someone who will eventually leave me broke and sad. No no no…from now on I am in it to win. I am in it to get my money, finish school, and live the life that I want to live. 

The Best Way to Ask for Your Money as a Brown Sugar Baby

This post could be a sentence long, best friend. The best way to get your money as a brown sugar baby? Open up your mouth and ask for it. But that’s not really helpful, is it? You already know that you should ask for your money, but you are terrified that:

  • There’s a specific way that you should be asking that will guarantee that you get your money
  • You’re worried that if you say the wrong thing you won’t get your money.
  • You’re literally struck deaf, dumb, and mute by the idea that you, little old you, are going to ask a man with such financial power to hand you anything because you don’t think you deserve it.
  • You’re new to sugaring, and you want to make sure that you’re doing everything by the book. 

     Did you know that these are the things that are actually holding you back? You, sis, have an excellent grasp of the English language. You have done your homework. You have a plan. You know why you want to sugar and you went out and met a man worth your time and energy. The thing that’s stopping you from getting your money is most likely you especially if you and this man have already discussed having an arrangement and have agreed on an amount. 

     I had this issue several times. Men were willing to hand me their credit cards.  Men wanted to know what type of allowance I wanted. I got, so tongue tied that I blocked my own blessings (at least for a while). What I want to do is address the reasons why you are afraid to speak up before I address what you should say.

Fear: There’s a specific way you should be asking for your allowance that will guarantee that you will get it.

Truth: There is no one size fits all to sugaring. There is no magic key or phrase that will unlock all of your wildest sugar dreams and make your success rate jump to 100% and stay there. There is no particular word or phrase that will make every man putty in your hand, no matter what other sb’s tell you. Those words and phrases that they’ve said work for them every time work because they come naturally to that sb and naturalness, confidence is sexy. It has nothing to do with the words that are used. It has everything to do with the connection that that sb has cultivated with that sd without it the sd wouldn’t be receptive to anything that sb said no matter how she said it. Forget about memorizing a script. Be yourself. The right man will always respond. (remember when we talked about what to look for in a man?)

Fear: You’re worried that if you say the wrong thing, you won’t get your money.

Truth: A man that has agreed to give you money will give you money unless you give him a reason not to. Reasons not to? Off the top of my head, the only logical ones are if you stand him up repeatedly, agree to a certain type of arrangement then go back on your word, or if you are excessively rude to him without his consent (there are men that want to be degraded after all). If a man is dangling money in front of your face like a carrot, if he’s telling you that he’ll give you the money but you have to do this one more thing for him? He never had any intention of giving you a dime. Let him go. Find another- there’s an entire freestyling plan to help you. 

Fear: You’re literally struck deaf, dumb, and mute by the idea that you, little old you, are going to ask a man with such financial power to hand you anything because you don’t think you deserve it. 

Truth: Sis, what the fuck is this about? Of course, you’ve earned it. I can tell you that until the cows come home and you could probably give me a list of reasons why you don’t. I wish you loved yourself as much as I do, best friend. But we’ll pass over that. You don’t think you deserve that money? Guess who does? HE DOES THAT’S WHY HE’S OFFERING IT TO YOU. Are you going to let your insecurities keep you from your coin? Or are you going to suck it up and hold your hand out? I see that hand of yours itching to come out, sis. Just do it.

 Fear: You’re new to sugaring, and you want to make sure that you’re doing everything by the book. 

Truth: There is no book. There is no secret manual or playbook that we all read (even though I do have some favorite books that I would recommend) before we graduate into being “real” sugar babies. The successful girls have experience, and they only got that by investing their time into this game. Time. That’s it. You do not have to follow any sugar babies advice, not even mine. You can do whatever you feel good about doing and that, after considering it, you know you won’t regret the next morning. The only advice that I do advocate that you follow are the safety measures. You only have this one life, and I want to see you live it to the fullest for the longest amount of time possible. Protect your body and your mind. Everything else? You’ll figure it out as you go along. That’s what I did. 

There it is, sis. Are these one of the four things that have bothered you about asking for your money? I hope I covered them in a way that helped but if I didn’t I know you’ll message me or leave a comment on the post. Now on to the good stuff, right? Because I know there are at least one or two of you that don’t give a solitary shit about fears and really just want to be told what to say. Fine. Only because I love you. 

Now that we’ve agreed on what our relationship is going to look like, when would you like for it to officially start?

Notice I didn’t say arrangement. I’m hoping you got this nice man out in the wild and he probably has no idea what an arrangement is or if he does and he’s not using the word then neither should you. Keep it natural and comfortable. 

That’s it best friend. The easiest way I know to ask a man for money is to dismiss the fears that stop you from asking in the first place. Did I cover your fear? Or am I way off the mark? Either way, talk to me. I love and read every single comment you leave me even if I can’t respond to all of them right away. I’m going to, I promise.

25 Qualities Of All Successful People

The following is a common characteristics between all very successful people.    These are in no particular order, and they are all equality important. 

1) Passion

Successful people are passionate people - not only are they just passionate about what they do but they’re inspired on some level by life somewhere.  For instances, they may be by art, nature, music, writing, speaking, technology, science, human knowledge, or by other examples of amazing people.

2) Abnormally hard-working

Successful people are abnormally hard-working. Mediocre people which are the opposite of successful people- these people are not hard working.  Instead, they’re lazy and they work 40 hours a week, and that’s about it; they  put in the bare minimal to get by. Successful people, on the other hand, are obsessive about how they work – they’re almost workaholics, and this is one of their weaknesses but it’s also an important strength because you’re not going to get successful without massive amounts of hard work.  Strong work ethic is absolutely necessary.

3) Persistent

Successful people are extremely persistent.  Successful people have a high tolerance for failure because they don’t take it personally, they don’t get depressed about it - they just keep going forward every time until they get to their goal.  This is a very rare characteristic in people which is why success is quite uncommon.

4) Iconoclastic

Successful people are iconoclastic which means that they’re rule breakers.  These people do not follow the rules of society, of the organization of the family unit or other religious structure, or whatever.  However, this doesn’t mean that they do illegal stuff - it just means that they are kind of like flexible with the rules; they’re able to skirt around the rules,  and to think outside the box – and this is important because to get stuff passed through the system requires thinking outside the box a lot. If you’re thinking inside the box, then you just get the results of the mass of the herd and herd doesn’t really get extraordinary results – you wouldn’t want to call them successful; you call them mediocre.

5) Cleverness and Manipulative  

Successful people are abnormally clever than the bunch and manipulative. They’re good at manipulating situations and people to get what they want past through.  So maybe this person is good at manipulating a bureaucracy, a government system, their family, their friends, people in their company, manipulating giant massive crowds the way that politicians sometimes do.  Manipulation could of course be bad but it doesn’t necessarily have to be used towards evil - it can also be used towards good.   Some people are good manipulators, while others are bad.  And if you’re a bad manipulator, then it’s going to be hard for you to become successful and if you’re not very clever about how you do your manipulations and thinking around obstacles and problems,  than you just gonna hit an obstacle and it’s going to look to you like it’s just a giant brick wall. Cleverness is very important because you’re going to have a lot of obstacles on your journey towards success.

6) Creativity

Successful people are highly creative. Creativity here does not refer to the artsy, poetic, and  imaginative sense(although those great attributes to have) but more in the fundamental definition of creativity, meaning like you can create stuff. The ability to create not just in the arts but anywhere, like in business or anywhere else. Successful people are creative people, they create lots of stuff. 

Another point that goes along with this is that creative people generate massive value so this means that they don’t just impact tens of people or  hundreds of people - they impacts thousands or millions or even billions of people with their work or with their ideas or with their speeches or with whatever. You need to generate massive quantities of value in today’s world in order to become successful. 

7) Strong Technical Skills 

Successful people have a training in strong technical skills.  They’re willing to train hard and to develop their technical skills in whatever field they’re trying to master and become successful at. This is a big obstacle for many people because many people just assume that ‘oh, if I just go to work and kinda like punch in the clock, then that’s going to be enough to make me successful.’ However, the truth is that it won’t. What you need to do is something called deliberate practice where you deliberately and methodically practice certain set of skills over and over and over again until you finally master it. And this takes a lot of hard work which most people are not willing to do,  but successful people are.  Successful people invest thousands of hours mastering technical skills. Every single career or field that you’re going to be successful in has a certain set of technical skills that needs to be mastered perfection, and that takes a lot of deliberate practice to do which most people are not willing to do.Most people are mediocre because they have mediocre technical skills.  

8) Value Excellence

Successful people value excellence above the mediocre people; they really want to do excellent work and take pride in their work.  They have this sense of being the best at what they do or doing something really exceptionally well, that gives them a certain joy and a certain satisfaction that the mediocre person does not have.  To the  mediocre person, doing the average piss poor job is good enough, and that does not just cut it enough if you want to be successful.

9) Vision 

Successful people are visionaries meaning that they can see a big bright picture of what the future should look like for them for, for their life, their followers, business partners, or for their customers.  They can see into the future which is a very powerful skill to develop.

10) Leaders

Successful people are leaders because they have this vision which allows them to now lead people, and they don’t necessarily need to be leading millions of people (there are successful people who lead very few people) but nevertheless they are leaders because what they’re doing fundamentally is that they’re carving their own path through life and they are on the cutting edge of their field, and they’re not content to just be followers.  They don’t just pick someone to follow, and then follow that person to success - they do a bit of that but ultimately they have to break off from anyone they follow in their life and do it themselves (their own way).  And that usually means some new unique way that hasn’t been done before - that’s where that iconoclastic comes in and the cleaver thinking.

See all these points synergize together.  One requires the other in many cases.

11) Intuitive

Successful people are intuitive, more so than the average person. They know how to use their intuition. They are guided by their heart and gut more than just by their logical mind; they’re right brain and holistic thinkers, and they can take in and asses multiple variables in a kind of a complex holistic way.  They get this kind like big picture view of what needs to be done and sometimes it just comes as a gut feeling which they don’t  always understand where it comes from, but nevertheless, they have it. 

12) Decisive 

Successful people are decisive compared to most mediocre people who are highly indecisive and often don’t know what they want (, which career path to choose or major in school to choose from).   Most people really hesitate and don’t make a firm decision and they’re not clear about what they really want in life – and so, they get just a mediocre result.  

If you want an excellent result, then you have to be very crystal clear about what you want, and that’s what successful people do.

13) Money is not first 

Successful people don’t do what they do because of the money.  If you think that you can become successful because you’re putting money first and money is your top priority and top goal and that this will motivate you to become successful - then you’re really putting the cart before the horse and you’ve got this whole equation backwards and you’re actually selling yourself short.  And you will be far less successful than you could have otherwise been.  For successful people, it’s not about the money, and sure money can come as a by-product, but in fact that’s not why they do what they do.  Successful people are motivated because they want to impact the world, have a positive contribution to society - maybe because they’ve got a big ego and a lot of pride and they want to grow and expand that ego(although this is not necessarily healthy but still superior to being driven
by money alone).

And of course most successful people just love their work
and are passionate about it so it comes more naturally to them, and not because the

14) Focused 

Successful people are highly focused and are able to select one field or domain and invest years of time and build up a lot of experience in that one
field.  Whereas mediocre people, they bounced around and doubt a lot and they never master any one field because they lack focus.

15) Ambitious 

Successful people are ambitious and have a desire to be the best.  Now this point might sound very similar to another point I made earlier about valuing excellence but I think there’s something unique and different about this point of ambitiousness.  To be successful, you have to have a sense of ambition,  it’s like you want to rise to the top and it’s almost like an ego thing( although this is not necessarily the healthiest drive) but there’s a kind of desire to be the best, to be the top of your field, to be the one
who accomplishes something really great and extraordinary – and that’s what we call ambition.

16) Rapid implementation 

Successful people have a rapid speed of implementation which means that as soon as they hear an idea or they have a great idea, they go off and they
immediately start to implement that idea. They don’t just sit around and
philosophize and theorize - they actually go out and do it.  They have a bias towards action rather than sitting and thinking because when you sit and think a lot, you get into paralysis by analysis, and if you get into that situation then you’re not actually out there doing stuff which means that you’re not actually creating success.  So they avoid that trap. And a lot of mediocre people, they do the whole paralysis by analysis thing and they also sit around and kinda mold over ideas for years without actually doing anything.  

17) Opinionated

Successful people are opinionated.  They have strong and firm opinions because they have a strong firm values and beliefs – because of course, they are decisive.  

Another point that goes along with this is that successful people have a spine which means that they stand up for themselves, their values, beliefs, and ideas. They don’t just weakly sit on a corner while very body else is out there talking and implementing and taking charge – instead, they are the ones that stand up and take charge.  It’s the mediocre people that sit on the corner and just kind of quietly think about their own values and ideas and never have the courage to stand up and fight for what they really believe in.   Because if you don’t have any spine; what will happen is that other people just overpower you (i.e institutions, popular culture, friends, media, etc). 

Originally posted by analyticalbones-blog

18) Optimistic and hopeful

Successful people are optimistic and hopeful.  Fundamentally, they believe in themselves and believe that they can, people around them can, and that society can, too.  They have some kind of positive outlook, in the sense that like they believe in science or they believe in technology or they believe in
arts or they believe in the power of writing.  They believe in the power
of humanity to reform itself – or something hopeful like that.   Because if you can’t believe in any of these things  or believe in yourself, then  how can you
accomplish anything ? You’re not going to become successful if you don’t honestly believe that you can become successful – you have to have at least a little much hope. 

19) Courageous

Successful people are courageous which means that they’re willing to act in the face of fear. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have fear(they are plenty of fears) but the differences is they’re going to act even though they are afraid – they don’t let the fear to paralyze or stop them or scare them away. 

20) Value knowledge and learning

Successful people value knowledge and learning in some capacity, or at least in their fields or across the board.  It doesn’t necessarily need to be book smart – it could be street smart or learning from your co-workers, learning in a social environment, or learning from trial and error experience – but they have to value learning and knowledge.  Because without learning and knowledge, you’re not going to get very far, master anything, develop technical skills, and you’re not going to be good at anything.  

21) Sacrifices 

Successful people are willing to endure the cost and make sacrifices to get success.   Success comes with certain sacrifices in many cases.  People who generally work hard and long usually don’t have as much fun, socialize, party, drink, entertaining, spend as much time with family, and their relationships could suffer.   All of these things are sacrifices that successful people are willing to make, and when it comes down to a choice between all these things, and success - they will select success.  Whereas to mediocre people,  usually this trade-off goes the other way - they would
rather have the socializing, party , fun and entertainment , and the
relationships than success. And that’s exactly what they get usually get.

22) Self-Motivated

Successful people are highly self-motivated- intrinsically motivated versus extrinsic motivated. Intrinsic motivation means that your fueled from the inside and that nobody has to kick you in the ass to tell you what to do - you do it yourself. Successful people beat and push themselves too much, to the point that they even burn out. 

23) Long-term Thinkers  

Successful people are long-term thinkers. They think 10 years down the road and not just 1 year down the road like most people do.  You have to be a long-term thinker in order to be successful because to be successful, you need to spend at least five or 10 years developing some sort of proficiency or excellence in some kind of field. For example, how are you going to do that if you don’t plan five/ten years down the road ? It’s almost impossible which is why mediocre people struggle so much with this because they only think one year down the road - if even that far.  And so they’re not able to master basically anything of value and they have nothing of value to offer to the world and so the world offers of no success back in return. 

24) Pragmatic 

It’s been found that successful people are pragmatic, meaning that they’re practical. They actually go out into the real world and create real success and real results.

25) Work for themselves 

And lastly, successful people work for themselves. Its important to know that not all successful people are self-employed(even though many are) but what is meant by self-employed is that, even if they’re working for an organization or they’re working in the government - if they’re successful they’re not working for the government or for the organization,  they’re really working for themselves within the government or within the organization.  They’re fundamentally advancing their own agenda, not the organization’s agenda. People who are loyal to the organization’s agenda usually they’re like cogs in the machine and they don’t make it very far and don’t make the best leaders. The best leaders are a little bit egotistical and they’re a little bit narcissistic and there are a little bit selfish and these qualities turn out to be effective when you’re trying to rise to the top.

So there you have it, those are the 25 qualities of all successful people- at least according to the research that exists out there.  So how did you compare? Rank yourself and see if you could use some work in developing these skills.

- sugarbabypie
The 1–2–3 Step To Mastering the Sugar Daddy Search

So many aspiring SBs have similar beginnings. It all starts by signing up for one of the many SD websites. A profile is written. Stunning photos are uploaded. And then the fun begins.

For the first couple of days, the inbox fills up with emails from interested SDs. Replies are sent. Emails are exchanged and dates are set up.

There are so many POTs! The aspiring SB is elated.

It’s all good up to this point, but as every SB learns…the emails start to dry up after awhile if you don’t spring for paid, featured membership. The thing is, your profile no longer gets top mention, you’re no longer new news, and most SDs don’t have/make/take the time to go perusing through thousands of SB profiles to stumble across yours.

So what does the aspiring SB do? She keeps correspondence with the POTs that contacted her the first couple of days, hoping that one of them will “work out.”

Each of the POTs seem promising… ’til they’re not and then the aspiring SB is back at square one, feeling deflated, rejected and irked at the empty promises of the sugar world.

If you’ve been there before, know that you’re not the only one. And also know this: there is a better method to finding a SD.

You see – whereas seducing a SD is an art, finding a SD is a science. One that consists of an easy-to-follow, 3-step process.

Step 1. Cast a Wide Net

Success in sugar dating is hugely a numbers game – the more SDs you interact with, the higher your chances of finding the ideal arrangement.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is limit the range of SDs you have access to.

To cast your net as wide as possible, use both a passive and an active approach.

The passive approach is easily done:

  • Sign up for each of the best SD dating websites. The majority of them – like all but one – are totally, completely, 100% free for SBs so you have nothing to lose. Note: Don’t go too overboard and register for a dozen websites – it’ll be a full-time job keeping track of them and a lot of sugar daddy dating sites aren’t that great. Stick to just a few of the best ones.
  • Craft an awesome SB profile and post the same one on each of them.

Pretty much all the SD dating websites charge the men. For this reason, most SDs will sign up for just ONE sugar dating site and stick to it. But this doesn’t mean you have to – increase your access to every pool of SDs possible by making sure you sign up for all the best sugar dating websites. After all, why would you spend so much time writing the perfect profile for just one site when you can easily post it up to a few and double-triple-quadruple the number of SDs you can reel in?

Now as you let your profile(s) work for you, get to work yourself…

The active approach takes a little more time but is infinitely worth it:

  • Spend at least an hour a day searching the sugar dating websites for SDs who appeal to you.
  • Make the first move by contacting POTs with a short, interesting email.
  • Keep both quality and quantity in mind: Plan to contact as many promising SDs as possible in a short amount of time. Not all of them will reply. And not all of the ones who reply will work out. So the more, the merrier.

SDs are busy creatures. They often don’t have the time to browse through thousands of SB profiles to find the diamond in the rough – you. If you want to catch your ideal SD, plan to do much of the searching yourself. Don’t limit yourself to the pool of men contacting you – figure out what it is you want and go find him! This will increase both the quantity and the quality of POTs in your pool, making it easier for you to reel in a good catch.

Step 2. Keep Track of Your POTs

If you’re doing Step 1 right, you’re going to have a lot of POTs around. Your cup runneth over…and you’re going to need a method to keep track of them all.

Step 2 is all about organization. And no, that does not sound all that exciting, but it is a must-do.

You see, casting a wide net is super important but it is all in vain if you let the good fish slip through your fingers.

Keeping track of all the POTs you talk to lets you:

  • Weed out the undesirables – and make sure you don’t mistakenly waste time on them in the future
  • Chart your progress with the SDs who seem promising
  • Remember little details about each POT so you can build relationships with each promising POT
  • While at the same time, keeping your options way, way open so if one POT falls through, you still have a whole array of POTs to take his place

And it’s really not that difficult to do this. Just keep a “Sugar Log”, a simple Microsoft Doc or Excel Spreadsheet that you can record all your POTs on. You can make it look any way you want and add in whatever details are important to you.

Here is a rough example to help you get started:

You can add details like:

  • Name, screen name, profile links
  • Personal details: Occupation, Hobbies/Interests
  • Contact information
  • When and where you met and when you talked on the phone
  • Their preferred arrangement details and allowance range
  • A “Notes” section

The “Notes” section is the most important since it allows you to write freely on everything you’ve observed about a POT. We’ve found it to be the most useful tool in the sugar search. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about a person from one date or even a phone conversation when you have to write about it afterwards.

The more detailed the “Notes” section, the easier it is to pass on unappealing SDs and to keep track of POTs. We’ve been surprised to see how accurate some of our first impressions of POTs turned out to be.

Alan, the POT on the third row, has all his information crossed out because that’s an easy way to keep track of no-go sugar daddies without deleting their information (so you remember not to talk to them if you come across them again). The notes on him turned out to be spot-on. He was anal, supremely self-involved, and mostly interested in dating a SB who would hang on his every word and be very grateful for…dinner and his fantastic company. He was crossed out after the first date but continued to keep on calling for weeks, unable to understand how anyone could pass on him.

A well-kept “Sugar Log” can be the difference between a successful sugar search and a massive time sink.

Make one. Think of it as your little black sugar baby book. And no matter what – even if a POT seems so promising, he makes you want to ditch all the others – maintain your little black book.

Step 3. Rinse and Repeat

Keep searching. Keep going on dates. Keep recording all your minute observations on your “Sugar Log.” And keep on growing and maintaining your list ’til you find yourself in an ongoing sugar arrangement with a SD you like…

But even then, don’t let the list die out. Just do it part-time.

How to Cure Hiccups

Characters: CastielXReader, ft. Sam and Dean Winchester

Word Count: 869

A/N: 1st Cas-iversary drabble request by @sassyspn67 (okay, I don’t know if it was an actual request, but it was a great ask and I ran with it and wrote you something) – “Imagine Castiel saying he loves you without thinking.” Spoiler alert - the cure for hiccups? Yeah, it’s fluff. All the fluff. And a blue-eyed angel.

Pausing at the kitchen threshold, you reflexively clutched your abdomen, pressing a palm to the doorframe for support, muscles tensing in preparation for the involuntary spasm you sensed was about to rack your body. “Hic!” you squeaked loudly, again unsuccessful at trying to stifle the hiccups which had plagued you for nearly an hour. Groaning annoyance, you wearily leaned your forehead against the door.

“Y/N!” Castiel instantly rose from his seat at the table, swiftly striding to your side to grasp your arm and guide you safely down the few stairs into the room, “What’s wrong?”

You peered up miserably into his ocean blue eyes, noting the shades of concern for your well-being churning in their shimmering depths. “I’m fi-,” lurching forward, you grasped at his coat lapels for balance, balling up the tan fabric in tight fists, “hic!”

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