How to Discuss Allowance With Your Sugar Daddy
Ah, the sugar baby allowance. Even the most experienced of us can find ourselves getting squeamish when it comes to talking money with a potential sugar daddy.
Here are our top 10 allowance tips to help you get what you want gracefully and effortlessly.
1. Get Comfortable Asking
The most important step to getting what you want is asking for it. We all know this, but hey, it can be so uncomfortable to ask for money.
If the thought of asking for what you want makes you a little queasy, take the time to make yourself comfortable with it before you begin talking allowance with potential sugar daddies.
We recommend this little exercise. Practice makes perfect, so rinse and repeat ’til you can state what you want without so much as an eyelid bat.
2. Allowance Après Date
This is such a simple, yet effective, means of negotiating allowance: Don’t discuss it on your first date with a potential sugar daddy. Concentrate all your first date efforts solely on impressing him wildly.
A genuine, interested sugar daddy will bring up the allowance on his own. If he mentions it during the date, take it as a sign that he’s definitely interested, smile and tell him that you’d like the first date to be focused on simply getting to know each other.
Suggest that if he’s interested in an arrangement with you, he could call you to talk about the allowance after the date.
This simple move immediately does a few things for you:
Sends the potential sugar daddy the message that you’re more interested in a suitable arrangement than money. And that little message also sends another message: that he cannot control you or gain your interest with his money alone. This makes it easier for you to discuss the terms of the relationship, set boundaries, and negotiate your allowance.
Makes it clear that you are nowhere near desperate and while you are interested in him, not overly so. This lack of overt interest gives you more control of the sugar relationship from the get-go.
Plus, utilizing this tip lets you take advantage of the next allowance tip…
3. Take Advantage of the Phone
Unless you’re really, really comfortable asking for what you want – you might prefer the distance of the telephone over a face-to-face discussion.
As they say, 93% of communication is non-verbal. If you’re not completely confident in what you’re asking for, the potential sugar daddy might be able to glean that through your expression, your hand gestures, your body language.
On the phone, however, all you need to control is your voice. Inject it with confidence and prepare to discuss allowance.
4. Know Your Options
Your sugar daddy might already have his preferences on how to give you your allowance, but it’s still a good idea to get to know your options.
How often do you want to receive your allowance? Weekly? Monthly?
How do you want to receive your allowance? Cash? Pre-paid credit card? Monthly bills paid? Read more about popular methods to receive a sugar baby allowance here.
There is no right or wrong answer to these questions – it’s just important that you know your options and go with what is most comfortable for you.
5. Do Your Research and Know His Range
Sugar daddies hail from various professions and income brackets. Before discussing allowance with your sugar daddy, do your part by researching what his range might be.
What’s the average income for someone in his profession in the city you’re living in? Is he an employee or does he own his own company? Does he have a family to support or is he single? Does he own his home or does he rent?
You can often find all this out by actively listening to the things he says as well as putting Google to good use.
Based on what you estimate to be his earning potential, you will know the reasonable range he can afford. Plus, you can weed out the men who are promising certain allowance amounts but clearly cannot afford it.
According to Seeking Arrangement, the average sugar daddy in 2013 earned a little over $270,000 and the average sugar baby allowance in 2013 was a little over $60,000. That comes to sugar daddies paying a little over 20% of their income toward their sugar babies (hey, we’re actually cheaper than US taxes). That’s a reasonable estimate of what you’re sugar daddy should be able to provide you and what you can expect from a sugar daddy.
Calculate his reasonable range and then negotiate.
6. Forget Ladies First
A genuine, interested sugar daddy will usually bring up the topic of allowance by asking you what you want.
If you’re not totally comfortable with stating your amount first, forget the whole “ladies first” thing and ask him for his range first (‘though you’ll already have an idea based on your research). The easiest way to do so is to approach the topic indirectly by asking if he’s had previous arrangements. Ask how they went, what the terms were, how the relationship was, and what the allowance arrangement had been.
If he hasn’t had previous arrangements, keep in mind that people are more inclined to answer an uncomfortable question after being asked a range of more comfortable questions so start out the discussion by asking your potential sugar daddy questions like, “What does your ideal arrangement look like?” “How often do you want to meet me?”Continue asking questions about the arrangement and then pop in the question of what allowance range he’d be comfortable with.
If he low-balls you, when you know his range can very reasonably be higher, rebut with something like, “Oh, I was thinking more like $x,xxx.”
7. A “Yes” is a Given
When negotiating allowance, assume that he’ll give it to you.
When he asks you for the allowance you want, tell him simply and matter-of-factly: “I’m thinking $x,xxx.”
Keep a smile on your face, maintain eye contact, and say it as naturally as you would tell him what you’re ordering off the menu. Your amount might seem high to you, but remember that SDs have probably heard it all: girls asking for $10,000+, cars, etc., so you reasonable allowance range is probably not that surprising.
Don’t low ball yourself. Ask for what you want.
8. Remember: You’re Just Getting Your Due
This is a key point that all sugar babies must remember at all times: Asking for allowance is NOT asking for a handout.
You’re negotiating an allowance for a number of services being rendered to your sugar daddy.
And sugar daddies may be a lot of things, but they are not financially stupid. Your potential sugar daddy is not giving you an allowance out of the kindness of his heart. He is getting something valuable out of it. He knows it. You should too.
You listen to him talk about work. You make him laugh. You remind him of his youth. You are there for him physically, emotionally, mentally. He’s not doing you a favor by giving you allowance – he’s reciprocating for how you make him feel. This is no small service – people spend the majority of their money to be made to feel a certain way. It’s a considerable service so don’t ever spend any of your energy feeling bad about asking for whatyou want.9. Your Allowance = Your Money
Some sugar daddies might express shock or surprise when you state your allowance range. Some will even ask you what you plan on doing with all that money, as if you need to justify your allowance to them.
You don’t have to.
An allowance is not a handout. You’ve earned it.
Can you imagine a potential employer asking you what you’re going to do with all that income you’re earning at their company? Of course not. That’d be preposterous – once the company pays you for your services, it’s your money. Not theirs.
Same thing with the sugar allowance. You don’t need to justify the amount you’re asking for. Don’t talk about your debt, your bills, etc. – there’s no need for all that. He’s asking you how much you require and that’s all you need to say.
If he asks – don’t tabulate anything, don’t justify anything. Say something simple and sensible like, “A girl’s gotta save, you know…” and end it with a smile.
In our experience, if a potential sugar daddy keeps on asking why you would needall that money – chances are, he’s not going to make a great sugar daddy to begin with as he simply doesn’t understand that by providing him a service, you have every right to spend the allowance that you earn any way you want.
10. Prepare to Say “Next”
Some sugar babies may disagree with us on this one, but we have this rule: If a potential sugar daddy does not agree to the allowance asked for (which is reasonable and within what we know is possible with his income range) – politely end the dinner and cross him off the potentials list.
In our experience, men who understand your value as a sugar baby are willing to pay for it. They know you’re worth it. They want what you have to offer. And like companies who want to recruit the best talent, these sugar daddies are prepared to give you what you’re asking for.
These men make better investments in the long run because they already know you’re worthwhile.
We don’t recommend ever begging or trying to convince any sugar daddy to give you what you want. If he doesn’t already see you as a worthwhile investment, he’s not going to be a great sugar daddy anyway.
And by settling for less than what you want – you’re not going to be happy enough to keep him happy. It’s a two-way street. Your needs must be met. The good sugar daddies know this. They show it by giving you what you want.
Bonus Tip: 11. There are Exceptions
At the same time, sometimes you’ll run into a potential sugar daddy who you have a great dynamic with…but he does not make enough to give you the ideal allowance.
In those cases, we’d say: go with the sugar daddy you like even if his allowance is a little bit lower than ideal. An enjoyable arrangement comes from more than just allowance.
sugar baby allowance guide II