John wanting to fuck Sherlock’s sister, like…this man has officially tried to fuck every Sherlock substitute ever created, just…when he finally gets the real thing it’s going to be the greatest moment of all time ever AND it will be hilarious
Like I feel like one of the last scenes should have another Mycroft in a fat suit with him going “oh god, real sugar instead of substitutes, worth it” in a Cartman voice and John just going “same”
Substitute sugar and cream in your coffee with honey or stevia and almond milk!
Honey is so good for you, and can help with allergies, but if you don’t like/ eat honest, try stevia. And kick the dairy! Almond milk or even coconut milk (it’s honestly SOOO good) is way better for you, and removing dairy helps with you’re skin and digestive issues.
I figure most people who drink their coffee black aren’t doing it to be badass; they do it because they don’t have the executive function to make sure they drink their coffee in one sitting so it doesn’t get moldy.
Anon said: I can't ask my mom to buy artificial sweeteners because she'll find it suspicious and thinks they're all horrible for you. May you please make more sweet recipes with real sugar or naturally sweet foods? Thank you!
I’m not allowed to eat/buy them either!
However I can start doing the calorie count for raw sugar (i think that’s what you’re asking)
But you can google “natural sugar substitute” or something like that if I forgot, or just tell me and I’ll update it
My breakfasts are just as extra as my dinners! I am a huge advocate for heavy breakfasts that are good for you and healthy too! I substitute heavy sugars and syrups for light alternatives like honey, lemon, brown sugar and whole wheat/grain EVERYTHING ❤️🙇🏽
Bear in mind if I’m going heavy for breakfast my meals at the end of the day are lighter and more veggie oriented 🌟
Sugar Free But Still Terrible For You Chocolate Banana Cake
Okay, so Steve went out for lunch* with Pepper (why, Steve?) and came back convinced that we eat too much sugar. For the record, I ain’t the one writing a cookbook and filling the house with thirty seven virtually identical varieties of lemon macarons (Yes, Steve, they’re very nice. No, Steve, I don’t know if I like the ones with pomegranate more than the ones with fennel pollen. Where the fuck did you even get fennel pollen?!)
So I’m under orders now, no sugar. Not in coffee, not in cake. Ugh.
I went down the supermarket to see what sugar substitutes they got. Artificial sweetener (NO), that suspicious white crap that’s supposed to be made out of leaves, Agave nectar (Fuck no, I like Jaguarundi) so that left me with apple syrup, since honey is probably cheating and cheating means No Sex Until Steve Forgives Me.
I also got some really ripe bananas.
This recipe makes a huge cake! But you can reduce the quantities by a third & use 20cm cake pans for something a little less excessive
Chocolate & Banana Cake
250g butter (yes, that’s a whole packet. But no sugar, so it’s fine**!)
3 large, very ripe bananas, mashed
175g apple syrup (I like Sweet Freedom. You can use any fruit syrup, but I find apple balances the banana well)
300g plain flour
3 eggs, whisked
50g cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
100ml single cream
300ml double cream, whipped
You’ll also need two 23cm springform cake tins, greased & lined.
Preheat the oven to 180C/350F
Soften the butter in a large mixing bowl & combine together with the mashed bananas and apple syrup. Add the cocoa powder & eggs (it will look a little lumpy and weird, but don’t worry! It will be good!). Add the baking powder & flour & mix well. It will make a fairly stiff batter, so add the cream a little at a time until it forms a nice soft batter that clings to the spoon, but succumbs to gravity and flops off back into the bowl after a few seconds. If the idea of raw egg doesn’t squick you out, have a quick taste and see if it needs a squeeze more of apple syrup (a lot of the sweetness comes from the overripe bananas, so less blackened ones will need a little help) Divide between the two cake tins and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a skewer, knife or other pointy, prodding instrument jabbed into the cake comes out clean.
Leave a few minutes before turning out of the cake tins and handle with care. Cool on a wire rack, then sandwich together with some whipped cream & dust with a little cocoa powder.
Eat with a slightly misplaced sense of virtue
*No, I didn’t tag along. When people start ascribing morals to food (this food bad, this food good) I kind of want to punch stuff.
I have no idea what they ate, organic cardboard flavoured with the underpaid labour of migrant workers and pea protein probably
**Well, you should have been clearer. You said no sugar.
The hero is surprisingly good at making sweets and baked goods. This was found out by the Dryad when the hero was trying to figure out sugar substitutions. (Side note; they did somehow, involving ale, souls of light, and strangely enough some glowsticks. Nobody questions this.)
I don’t like fussy food, and I don’t have the patience for fussy baking with elaborate preparation methods. When it comes to cake, you can get remarkably good results using a quick batter method, without having to resort to creaming butter and sugar or foaming eggs and sugar. By substituting sour cream or strained yogurt for butter, you can eliminate the need for baking powder, and simply use baking soda, because the natural acidity of the sour cream of yogurt will activate the baking soda.
This cake is intended to be an “everyday” sort of cake, not one intended to impress people, but you may find it impressive, nonetheless. If you prefer, substitute grated baking chocolate for the cocoa powder to make it even more impressive. If you have the ingredients on-hand, and most kitchens will, you can satisfy your whim for a deliciously rich chocolate cake in less than one hour from when the notion strikes you to complete cleanup, and it will be far more healthy than anything you could purchase readymade in a supermarket.
Miss Gemma’s Simple Chocolate Cake by Gemma Seymour 10 February 2017
For one layer:
butter [for preparing pan]
Dutch process cocoa powder [for preparing pan] 240 ml (1 c) flour [the softer, the better*] 180 ml (¾ c) caster sugar 60 ml (¼ c) Dutch process cocoa powder**
1 t. baking soda ¼ t. sea salt
one 7 oz. container Fage Total full fat Greek yogurt [can substitute sour cream for an even richer cake] one large egg
60 ml (¼ c) whole milk
60 ml (¼ c) strong coffee*** ½ t. vanilla extract 2 T. extra virgin olive oil
Preheat oven to 325°F. Prepare 8" round cake pan with butter and dust with cocoa powder, or use non-stick cake pan.
Mix dry & wet separately, then together until evenly wetted, scrape batter into pan. Bake at 325°F for 20-25 minutes, or until cake tester comes out clean. Allow to cool 10 min, then turn out cake onto cooling rack and allow to cool. Frost and decorate as desired (or don’t). Store in airtight container in cool place.
* While cake flour has the least gluten and will give the most tender crumb, feel free to use bread flour, if you don’t mind a chewy cake. I often end up using high gluten bread flour for cakes, because I don’t bake cakes very often, but I bake a lot of bread. Think of it as extra protein.
** This cake is made with cocoa powder, because it is intended as a “everyday” cake recipe, and is quite chocolatey with just cocoa powder, but you can add some grated baking chocolate to the mix, if you would like it to be richer. You may substitute 40 g (1-1/3 oz) of 100% baking chocolate for the 60 ml of cocoa powder, for total replacement. If you are using sour cream, reduce the sour cream by the same amount to compensate for the extra fat (or don’t!).
*** make some double strength coffee. I use 1 T coffee grounds to 120 ml (½ c) boiling water, allow it to steep, then filter it through a drip cone, and allow it to cool.
Lust: 11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?
Super detailed questions about your OCs
Lust can be a picky eater depending on her mood she’d either shut up and chow down or throw it in your face cursing you out, for Lust specifically the demonic cannot stand the taste of raisins, tomato, avocados and grapefruit.
The taste of anyone of these foods makes the female dry heave especially grapefruit. Lust and the terms vegan and vegetarian do not belong in the same sentence the Sin enjoys the taste of well done or extremely rare flesh to much oftentimes when eating the female will leave the vegetables behind without even touching or trying them.
Lust has no extremely deadly food allergies but every time the Sin eats or drinks something with a sugar substitute she gets a massive migraine and stomach ache which nine times out of ten results in vomiting.
Those with DID know how switching or co-fronting leads to headaches. Some get bad ones, some get mild ones, either way they’re NOT fun. So I designed this potion to help relieve that pain.
1. Enough water to fill a large sauce pan (moon water is really good for this) 2. A cup or two of lavender flowers or any tea with lavender in it (try about 4 bags) 3. Teaspoon Chamomile flower* 4. Teaspoon valerian root* 5. Pinch of cayenne pepper 6. Tablespoon of lemon juice 7. Sugar or substitute to taste
*The Chamomile and Valerian root are optional, but can help relieve excess tension.
1. Fill the saucepan with as much water to safely boil it (Or as much moon water as you have)
2. Add all the ingredients except the sugar/substitute. For each ingredient, ask it kindly to bless your head. Example, “Lavender, please bless my head and relieve the pain”
3. Bring to a simmer for 5 minutes, but stand there and inhale the steam (safely).
4. Remove from heat and strain out the herbs.
5. With the remaining liquid, store in an air-tight container (like a jar).
One serving is between 1 or 2 tall glasses (about 16oz). Add half a cup (4oz) potion to the cup/class and fill the rest with water. Then add however much sugar/substitute you need, if any. WATER is an important part of this potion—it needs to be diluted, plus water is great for headaches in general. Also if there’s caffeine in your tea it will cause you to lose more water, so add that water!!
Drink 2-3 times a day until headache is gone!
For Extra Power:
Draw a sigil for each important ingredient; meaning all but the sugar and tap water. “Lavender heals the pain” “Cayenne strengthens blood flow” “Chamomile eases the head” “Valerian eases the pain” “Lemon aids the herbs” “Moon water powers up this potion”
SIMPLE BREAKFAST RECIPE IDEAS (written by Gráinne)
I am basically the breakfast queen, Hands down. For a few years now I really have been making a conscious effort with my morning feasts, improving recipes, and substituting sugar for healthier, nourishing alternatives, but that doesn’t mean they are elaborate and expensive!
I’ve decided to compile a list of my personal favourites, and a few breakfast hints along the way, all of which have maximum taste, and require minimum effort:
Fresh miracle fruit is pretty damn expensive. The Hubs and I procured a few berries for a fun Saturday night in…which is still cheaper than a night out in the city. We rubbed the pulp of the berry on our tongues, which actually tasted like the unpleasant flavor of Sweetn’Low. Then we gorged ourselves on everything sour tasting we can find. Lemons. Limes. Tabasco Sauce. Salt and vinegar chips. Kimchi. Greek yogurt. Hot dog with mustard. Due to the effects of the miraculin protein binding to our sweetness receptors, what was sour now tastes like it’s been encrusted with a pure sugar. Beer kinda tasted like chocolate milk and sweet strawberries taste even sweeter if you can imagine.
Of course, I saved the seeds and stuck them in the side of an indoor pot. I totally forgot about them, but then 2 months later, lo and behold my two little miracle fruit seedlings…
If there is one thing I love, it is snacking. That’s why I thought I’d do a little series on snacks here on the blog. I don’t know how frequent it’ll be or what kind of snacks I’ll be doing, but for today I’m sharing with you one of my favourite things lately. Get ready for the amazingness that is edible raw cookie dough.
Using a rolling pin, roll both bread slices very thin.
In a small bowl, stir together the cream cheese and stevia. Spread on both slices of bread.
Line 4 raspberries along one end of each bread. Roll closed.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg and almond milk. Submerge each roll into the egg mixture.
Heat a medium nonstick pan over medium heat. Coat with cooking spray. Lay each roll up in pan and roll to cook on all sides until golden.
On a plate, mix together the sweetener and cinnamon. Coat roll ups on all sides.
I love iced tea all year round, but the summertime just seems to call for it. Making it at home used to seem like too much trouble until I got a system down. Now I make it nearly every day!
Pitcher (plastic or glass)
Loose leaf tea
1 ½ trays of iced cubes
Start by boiling some water. While you’re waiting for that, put your loose leaf tea in the French press. You can do any flavour or flavour combination you like. Right now I put in three hefty spoonfuls of black tea, one of jasmine, and two of green. One year I found a Thai blend that was amazing. Plain black is also delicious. Herbal blends are fine too!
Once the water boils, fill the French press. Put a timer on for 6-8 minutes. You don’t want to over steep, or it will become bitter and won’t taste very good.
After the timer is up, add an inch or so of the hot tea to your pitcher. (If you’re using a glass pitcher, put a spoon in when you poor. Supposedly this keeps the pitcher from cracking.) Set the rest of the tea aside and add the sugar to the pitcher. I use about three spoonfuls, but adjust to your own personal sweet tooth. Mix the sugar until it dissolves, and add the rest of the tea. Now add the ice, mix again, and you’re good to go!
Note: you can also leave the pitcher unsweetened and add the sweetener to each individual glass, but I like to add it when the tea is still hot because it dissolves much easier.
Comment: I was going to make a cake for my cousin’s birthday. I followed the recipe exactly, but I substituted the sugar with cauliflower, the eggs with pickle juice, and the flour with 20 ounces of black tar heroin and it was disgusting. 2/10, bad recipe.