sugar pile

Shit Slytherins Say on Valentine's Day: #1
  • Did you sit on a pile of sugar because your ass is pretty sweet.

anonymous asked:

Headcannons on how lance, shiro, and Keith flirt? I guess we all know how lance flirts tho...😅 Love your work!!

thank you! here you go!!


[Lance:]

* ok so obviously we know how Lance flirts right??
* you’re wrong.
* that’s just harmless flirting he does with people he knows he most likely won’t see again.
* when it comes to people and their terms of flirting, there are also different preferences and circumstances.
* Lance does not flirt with every breathing female in the universe, buuuut, he does at the same time????
* ok so if he really does know someone, like knows more about them as a friend and such, then I feel like his flirting would be a lot different
* Like, say you’re close with him, but not BFF close, then he’ll probably say something’s like “oh really now?” “Make me.” y'all know how those are when it comes to flirting I assume
* if he really really reallllly likes you, he will be the most polite gentleman ever.
* lance: are you gonna [eat/drink/do] this? you: should I?
lance: well it’s up to you of course, if you don’t wanna you don’t have to. I can get something else for you [or ‘I can do it for you instead’]
* crying would totally at one point get really awkward and go back to being a crazy flirt and you’re just like “ohmymgodjj”

[Shiro:]

* shiro??? I think you mean the purest being to walk and breathe and LIVE????
* call out post: shiro is a babby
* will only flirt if you really know each other and would never flirt if you had just met because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable
* he’s either extremely quiet and shy or just straight out bold when flirting
* “Uhm, I uhm, like, uh, can I, get, uh, uhm, like,” and you basically just break down into tears because you don’t know if you should help him or laugh???
* “Your eyes are gorgeous.” and you’re just eating w/ him and he says this out of no where after staring lovingly at you for minutes on end now and you’re going to cry
* hi once he was really confident, but like Lance confident and when you guys were hugging he squeezed your ass and you both gasped so fukccn loud Keith thought you both were suffocating
* shiro just sat down and covered his face for an hour and you started to think his Galran Arm absorbs water AKA his tears
* you weren’t wrong yet you were right because his tears just seeped through the joints


[Keith:]

* save this boi
* once he tried flirting with this girl while on a field trip, because 1) said girl wasn’t from his area and he probably wouldn’t see them again. And 2) said girl doesn’t know that he’s an awkward bean
* it did not work out to say the least (he went to buy her some popcorn and started eating it on the way back and wasn’t paying attention and watched as he tripped and seagulls ate the popcorn and he just didn’t meet back up with her
* BUT
* if he was in a relationship it would come slowly and surely
* probably a large gentleman if you’ve been together a short time
* holds open doors and helps you cook
* I headcanon he cannot cook full meals
* once he kissed you for the first time you were used to it but before that he kissed the top of your head once and he could’ve sworn you were on the verge of tears
* it was so soft and sweet n pure and you just got so happy because it was just such a comforting feeling and you didn’t know how to react
* my gosh if u ever see him with Lance and they aren’t arguing get him out of there he is ASKING LANCE FOR TIPS
* if he listened to Lance he’d come up to you and mix it all up
* “Did u sit on a pile of sugar????? cus you’re from Tennessee.”
* save him

Seventeen as Bad Pickup Lines

S. Coups: Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend Material

Jeonghan: Can you touch my arm so I can tell my friends that I’ve been touched by an angel?

Joshua: I put “stud” in Bible study

Jun: Did you get your pants 50% off? I’m just saying that they would be 100% off at my place ;-)))

Hoshi: If I’m vinegar than you must be baking soda because you make me all bubbly inside :D

Wonwoo: If you were a vegetable you would be a “cute-cumber”

Woozi: I’m not actually this tall, I’m sitting on my wallet

DK: Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite

Mingyu: Did you sit in a pile of sugar because you have a sweet ass :-)

The8: Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back

Seungkwan: Dang girl, are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work in my stomach but it makes me want to take you out

Vernon: Hey bb, on a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

Dino: If u were a booger I’d pick u first

Cheesy Pick Up Line Starters
  • “Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”
  • “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘I’ and ‘U’ together.”
  • “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”
  • “Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?”
  • “Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boy/Girlfriend material.”
  • “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”
  • “If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”
  • “Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.”
  • “It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out.”
  • “Something’s wrong with my eyes, because I can’t take them off you.”
  • “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”
  • “Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
  • “Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.”
  • “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”
  • “Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”
  • “I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.”
  • “Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you’re lacking some Vitamin Me.”
  • “I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?”
  • “Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.”
  • “Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours.”
  • “I’m in the mood for pizza… a pizza you, that is!”
  • “Do you work at Dick’s? Cause you’re sporting the goods.”
  • “You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.”
  • “You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!”
Captain's Pick Up lines
  • Bokuto: Hoot hoot! You're cute!
  • Akaashi: Get out of my house Bokuto-san
  • -
  • Daichi: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause that ass is sweet
  • Suga: *covering Asahi's ears* Not around the children!
  • -
  • Oikawa: Nobody's perfect except me. But you're pretty damn close
  • Iwaizumi: *kicks Oikawa's legs out from under him*
  • -
  • Kuroo: Did it hurt when you fell for me?
  • Tsukishima: No, but I scraped my knees when I crawled up the stairs of hell
  • Bonus
  • Ushijima: If you had come to Shiratorizawa, you could've been my star setter
  • Oikawa: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE

anonymous asked:

I'd love to hear Tracer/Widowmaker/Mercy/Zarya/Sombra's reactions to having someone who has a crush on them or their current s/o using really stupid pick up lines on them.

I love the idea of the their s/o using dumb pick up lines on them. It’s so creative!

Tracer -
Lena was lounging on the couch, relaxing and watching TV. You dramatically strolled past her to get her attention.
“Hey baby,” You say with a silly grin on your face, “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
Lena cracked up laughing, which sent you into a fit of giggles.
“Love, that was so lame!” She laughed. “I loved it.”

Widowmaker -
“Hey Amélie,” You say.
“Hm?” She replies, glancing up from her book.
“Did you sit in a pile of sugar?” You ask.
She gives you a confused look.
“Because you have a sweet ass!” You say with a smile.
She lets out a chuckle. “You are a fool.” She says, still smiling. You lightly slap her butt as you walk past.
“You’re my fool, though.” She smiles.

Mercy -
“Angela!” You yell, stumbling into the medbay.
“What?” She asked, clearly alarmed.
“Do you have a band-aid!? Because I scraped my knee falling for you!”
She looks up at you and laughs. She walks up to you and playfully slaps your shoulder.
“You had me worried!” She giggles. You pull her into a big hug and give her a kiss.

Zarya -
“Zarya, are you okay?” You ask. You do your best to look concerned.
“Yes?” She asked, kinda confused.
“You look ill.” You say, “You must be suffering from a lack of vitamin ME!”
“That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.” She says with a laugh, before pulling you into a hug.

Sombra -
The hacker was sitting at her computer, like always, typing away. You walk up behind her and wrap your arms around her.
“Sombra, are you a computer keyboard? Because you’re just my type!”
She tries to act serious and unimpressed, but you can see her smile. You lean in until your lips are against her ear, “Did you get those pants on sale? Because at my place they’re 100% off.” You whisper.
At that, she cracked up laughing.
“You’re lucky we’re already dating, mi querido, because those were awful.”

anonymous asked:

Lance excessively flirting with Keith who just can't process it. He takes all the pick up lines in the most serious way ("Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass." "No..? I don't think we even have sugar out here." "That's not..") Sometimes he's cheesy, but Lance is always smooth with it. Then one day Keith flirts back and Lance is? So happy? He looses his ability to speak and just leans down, hugs Keith hides his face in his hair cause he's too flustered.

one of my favorite hcs is keith occasionally saying something Soft that knocks the breath out of lance…. and he wasn’t even trying lmao….

he’s just. unintentionally blunt

anonymous asked:

The Minyard last name reminds me a lot of the french word "mignardise" (pronounced minyard-eez) which means a tiny version of a dessert, a mini pastry, and honestly if "tiny pile of sugar" isn't a definition of Andrew idk what is

not to alarm you or anything but this is stupendous & you’re a comedic genius

If I had character tags you can bet your bottom dollar that I would be stealing “tiny pile of sugar” for andrew

a little bite-sized dessert wow how much do you think french-speaking neil absolutely calls andrew his mignardise :////

My mom and I playing Cuphead (Isle II)...
  • <p> <b></b> (Baroness Von Bon Bon)<p/><b>Mom:</b> Surrender now or i will finger you to death!!<p/><b>Me:</b> *Dies laughing and dies in the game*<p/><b>Mom:</b> *realises her own words*<p/><b>Mom:</b> aw f*ck<p/><b></b> ------<p/><b>Me:</b> Maybe we can flirt with her<p/><b>Mom:</b> yeah?<p/><b>Me:</b> *to the Baroness* hey your highness!! Do you sit in a pile of sugar?<p/><b>Mom:</b> ???<p/><b>Me:</b> cuz' you got a pretty sweet ass<p/><b>Me:</b> *dies*<p/><b>Mom:</b> that's what you got. You gotta treat her like a lady.<p/><b>Me:</b> you were the one who wanted to finger her to death!<p/><b>Mom:</b> shut up<p/><b></b> --------------------------------<p/><b></b> (Beppi the clown)<p/><b>Me:</b> My clourophobia has been triggered<p/><b>Mom:</b> He is gonna pay for that!!<p/><b></b> -----<p/><b>Mom:</b> im going to shove his pengüins up his butt<p/><b>Me:</b> we already won<p/><b>Mom:</b> its not enough<p/><b></b> ---------------------------------<p/><b></b> (Djimmi the great)<p/><b>Mom:</b> *humming "Friend like me" from Aladdin*<p/><b>Me:</b> *humms along*<p/><b></b> --------<p/><b>Me:</b> he just tried to trick us?<p/><b>Mom:</b> what?<p/><b>Me:</b> he read our minds and then he appeared a puppet that it looked like Mugman<p/><b>Mom:</b> he tried to make Cuphead surrender by make him fight his own brother.<p/><b>Me:</b> Djimmi, you sneaky pumpkin<p/><b></b> ---------------------------------<p/><b></b> (Wally Warbles)<p/><b>Me:</b> Wow! I didn't know The Woody Woodpecker became alcoholic and retired to the mountains<p/><b>Mom:</b> this and more tonight on, "Ophra: Where are they now?"!!!<p/><b></b> ----------------------------------<p/><b></b> (Grim Matchstick)<p/><b>Me and my Mom:</b> DAMNIT!!<p/><b></b> ---------<p/><b>Mom:</b> what kind of damaged princess would want to be protected for you? You overgrouth lizard c*cksucker, piece of shit, d*ck eater, b*tch...<p/><b></b> #######################<p/><b>Notes:</b> <p/><b></b> -She kept insulting Grim for it least 20 minutes<p/><b>-Later that day my mom said:</b> "i bet The Baroness tastes reaaaally sweet"<p/><b></b> -and this woman says being straight<p/></p>
The signs as cheesy pick up lines
  • Aries: Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got some nice buns
  • Taurus: I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  • Gemini: Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
  • Cancer: Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
  • Leo: I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  • Virgo: I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out
  • Libra: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  • Scorpio: I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
  • Sagittarius: Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout.
  • Capricorn: I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that
  • Aquarius: Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
  • Pisces: If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
  • alec: did you sit in a pile of sugar?
  • magnus: ? ? ?
  • alec: 'cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  • magnus: :) :) :)

anonymous asked:

Imagine if Wil always had sugar packets. And during meetings he'll just eat one after another until there's a small pile of packets on the table.

Oh my god

Dark’s trying to have a Serious Discussion but he keeps pausing because Wilford keeps opening sugar packets to empty on his tongue and and setting them on a neat pile to the side. He somehow has enough to last him a whole meeting and by the end he has several stacks of sugar packet piles on the table, little grains of sugar scattered around his face. No one knows where he’s getting so many.