Happy one month late bc oh boy was I busy w/ uni third anniversary to a series very dear to my heart. A big thank you to Rebecca Sugar and the crewniverse for bringing this wonderful show and these fantastic characters to life!!
Though, I have only been a Sugar Baby for two months I have mastered the art of a perfect date. Regardless, if I hated the man or the date he enjoys himself and wants to see me again. Here are some tips to make you the ideal woman.
1. No phone on the table: It should be in your purse and the purse should not be on the table but the back of the chair.
2. Voice: Speak clearly and give direct eye contact. Older men are observant and seek clarity. If you don’t know what you are talking about, do not talk about it because he will ask you to explain yourself.
3. Expression: Embrace your personality.When I like something or feeling hyper I smile. This is a quirky habit but POTs love it. I smile when I read the menu and I usually hear “Get whatever you want baby.”
4. Attire: It is not about what you wear it’s how you wear it. Iron or steam all your clothes. It is torn, stained, bleached don’t wear it. If you have fix your outfit every 5 minutes, don’t wear it.
5. Perfume: Don’t take a shower with your perfume. One or two spritz. Don’t be that female in the restaurant who is killing people’s noses due to spraying Bed&BathBodyWorks Japanese Blossom from head-to-toe.
6. Show Gratitude: Anything he does youlook at him straight in the eye and say “Thank you.” Make him feel valued and appreciated. I tend to say “Thank you for taking the time to meet me” and in the end while he is paying the check “Thank you.” That s**t turns men on. I say “Thank you Papi” to my SD and he responds “ You’re worth it.”
When I say “I ship Tyzula” I don’t mean I ship Azula being a complete narcissistic bitch and controlling Ty Lee through fear tactics, I mean I ship two best friends who fell in love. Ty Lee is shown to be (arguably) the person is Azula’s life that she cares about the most. I ship Tyzula, I ship Ty Lee being there and helping Azula recover and them being able to have a happy life as princesses in the Fire Nation.
I’ve been sugaring for a couple months and here’s what I’ve learned
*use a fake number and email address
*write everything down, make a list of POTs with a description to keep them apart. When your talking to 5-10 different men at a time it’s very difficult to tell them apart after awhile, write down their job, little facts they tell you, where they live ect. It’ll make your life so much easier
*be clear about your goals, i truly believe the most successful babies are the ones who’s goal are more than just getting material items. Like wanting to have $xxx In your savings account, pay off debt, start business ect.
*when buying clothes/ accessories to update your wardrobe, buy things that are timeless and with stand trends. You’ll get more longevity out of them. Trends come and go but that little black blazer is timeless. Obviously buy things that are trendy but don’t blow all your sugar money on something that won’t be in style within 6 months.
*95% of people that contact you from a different state than your in are scammers. If anyone messages you and says they will need you to run errands when their away is a scammer.
*never ever ever ever ever wire money to someone, it’s a scam. A true Sd would never send money then ask for some of it back. They’ll say they need your help sending money to someone blah blah blah, a successful business man wouldn’t ask their SB to handle business for them, they have people for that.
*never give your bank account information unless you absolutely trust them, even then be careful! Scammers don’t always send fake checks via mail, they can also transfer fake checks into your account. When the bank finds out they will penalize you and can shut your account down and you won’t be able to open a account with any national bank for 2 years.
*Google your POT, reverse search their number. Type their name into Facebook or Google. If their a prominent person they will have a Google presence. It’ll help weed out fakes and scammers. I had a fake tell me he ran a charity for George w bush that had something to do with orphanages. A quick Google search of charities george Bush was affiliated with showed me he had nothing to do with orphanages
*do your research before starting. I was on Tumblr and advice blogs for a week before starting and learned as much as possible which helped immensely.
*take some of the Tumblr blogs with a grain of salt, there are alot of fake tumblrs, and also alot of amazing ones with wonderful advice. Don’t believe the hype some blogs show that you’ll make 5k a month allowance right away. It’s not impossible but not everyone gets that.
*bouncing off the last tip, don’t feel bad about taking a lower amount from a POT or Sd. If the amount your getting helps you then work it. I have guys who give me more and I have some that give me less than what i truly want, but it helps when rents due and I’m not ashamed of it because at the end of the day whether your getting $100-1000 It’s more money than you walked in with. And i set boundaries with ones who give me a lower amount, i wont spend all day with them unless their willing to give more. Normally i stick to getting food and keeping it to 1-2 hours. But don’t sell yourself short. If someone low balls you to where you feel like it’s not worth it, don’t go for it.
*take care of yourself, give yourself a day once a week to relax, take a bath give yourself a face mask or deep conditioning treatment. Give yourself time to recharge and self love
*understand it’s not easy. It’s like a job, especially before you find your Sd. Talking to so many people, having to respond to messages in a timely manner, making profiles, having to be your best you and going on POT dates can be exhausting.
*take breaks when you become overwhelmed. I’m taking a little break to recharge, don’t wear yourself thin. You need to take care of yourself!
*have a backup vanilla job so you are still making money. You’ll have times where your slow in your sugar life and won’t be making As much money, so always have a back up plan
oh! um- well… I GUESS HERE WE GO. LONG POST IS LONG:
1. what is your sexuality?
2. what gender do you identify as?
3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender?
It has been a long journey, that started with me thinking I was bisexual (but picky!) in highschool to me thinking I was pansexual (but homoromantic!) in college to me watching the “Battle of Times Square” scene in Ghostbusters last year and realizing I will never actually be attracted to a man when I have seen the one true light of lesbianism.
Gender-wise, I did some soul-searching in college when a lot of my friends finally felt safe enough to transition, and other than an unhealthy obsession with beard-growing, I’m good out here as a chick. 👌✨
4. do you have any preferences?
Girls who look like they could kill me with their bare hands, if they wanted to, but really just want to gently comb their fingers through my hair.
5. share a positive memory about coming out!
I don’t really have any. I don’t really “come out” to straight people anymore because the one time I did, the friend I told immediately asked if I was attracted to/going to hit on her.
6. how do you feel about pride month?
We should all be given the whole month off paid and trans/genderqueer/NB people should get an additional $1000 cash.
(I like it.)
7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events?
I get a cold or something happens every June where I don’t feel up to going to Pride, but like HOPEFULLY THIS YEAR? (Baby’s first Pride at 25 is gonna be WEIRD. Someone hold my hand.)💦
8. how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media?
I WANT MORE. I WANT THEM ALL. EVERYONE IS GAY.
9. do you feel pride in who you are?
Yeah, I really like who I am and I’m proud of what I had to go through to get here. I like that things feel right in my life, for once.
10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?
Looking back, Karolina Dean and Xavin from Runaways were some of the first gays to really have an impact on my life. When Xavin starts IDing as female it like… struck a chord with me about their relationship. I was just like, “yeah that feels right.”
Hannah Hart was a BIG DEAL for me and meeting her was so nice. It’s so great to see an openly lesbian woman being real and kind and succeeding. Watching her evolve and grow over time has been amazing. Also, that bod now, like omg Harto-san, you have become your true self and that self is making me BLUSH.
Rebecca Sugar is weirdly important to me, being in the animation industry, myself. Like… it’s so good, seeing her make a show about girls loving other girls after BEING PERSONALLY TOLD that gay content was inappropriate for children while I was in school. Noelle Stevenson and the crew on Lumberjanes are similar, because you get told you can’t make queer content for kids by the old guard. That it won’t sell, that it CAN’T sell in certain markets and that kids won’t get it. All I can think of is that HAD I known at 7 that girls can like girls maybe I would’ve asked Emma out after class and my life would be different. I don’t want that to keep happening to little girls and I’m so glad that people like Rebecca and Noelle exist.
@yamino and@summerlightning are like… life goals and wife goals. I’ve been following them for years and sometimes I just think how I’d want like EXACTLY their lives. Make gay webcomics with my pretty wife. That’s all I want to do. (Hey, read their comic @sisterclaire, it’s gay af, you’ll love it.)
Hayley Kiyoko is a biracial sapphic queen and I love her and she is so nice and genuine and she gives GREAT HUGS. She sings songs about girls who like girls and they’re GOOD SONGS. Not just like campy gender-ambiguous low-budget stuff. She makes… god, her music videos. And I have met this small human and been to her concerts and the feeling of love and safety around that night was LIFE ALTERING.
(Also, can we talk about how that’s the flag I gave her hanging up on stage behind her and how much I love her and still cry about that? See question #26 for that story.)
Kate McKinnon, see #3 for the latest in Eevachu self-discoveries. She’s just… SHE’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. She’s famous and she’s weird and she’s out there playing big roles as an openly lesbian woman. She got me through 2016, which was honestly, THE FUCKING WORST. And she helped me accept that I can be a lesbian and still succeed.
BASICALLY, I WANNA SEE ALL THE SAPPHIC WOMEN SUCCEED, SO THAT I THINK I CAN SUCCEED AND FEEL SAFE DOING SO. REPRESENTATION MATTERS.
12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens?
Your parents are just people and one day, you’ll be better than them. You are strong, and you will find the people you are meant to be your people. You’re going to evolve and change throughout your whole life. Don’t be all tumblr witchhunt-y; people make mistakes and grow. Adults barely have any idea what they’re doing, we’ve just done it more.
13. have you come out to friends and family?
Like occasionally? I only formally “come out” to other gays, so that we may huddle together like penguins in a storm of heternormativity.
14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ?
I don’t like that it’s made to seem like such a huge deal and that it’s a one time thing. Like… it’s such a pain and you have to do it over and over again and then all the straight people in the room get WEIRD ABOUT IT and you’re now the outsider and the feeling fucking SUCKS. I just don’t like that it’s a thing. The actual term is fine for what it is, since I don’t have a solutions otherwise.
15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of?
Yeah, and it sucks that people feel unsafe enough that they have to be in one.
16. any tips on coming out?
I am literally the worst person to ask about this because I just like… don’t. lol I let people figure it out. Non-queers love testing out their “gaydar.”
17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media?
Lesbians for the male gaze. HEY BUDDY, LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE POINT OF LESBIANISM. NO BOYS ALLOWED.
18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media?
When queer people get to play queer characters and make their own queer stories and I get to sit there and cry because it’s so GENUINE AND GOOD.
19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school?
Well, my animation teachers would low key be like that won’t sell (see that thing I said about Rebecca Sugar in #10). But I had a gay/straight alliance in highschool, so it was fine.
20. do you practice safe sex with the same gender?
At this point, I would probably practice any sex with the same gender. (But yes, please.)
21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender?
I don’t really like traditional butch/femme role types and I’m not into really masculine ladies. I like girls who are flexible with their gender expression like I am.
22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender?
I am a sucker for a strong independent femme in heels that would love to smash the patriarchy and then smash me.
23. how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites?
I wish there were good ones and that I had time to find them or had a senior-qualified gay to tell me where they are in Toronto. WHERE ARE THEY???
25. how does you country view the lgbtq community?
Pictured: Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister at a pride parade.
On the surface, it’s pretty good. We also have to be careful because there are just some dirtbag conservatives waiting for us to get complacent and take away our rights. Currently, there’s a huge fucking thing about a trans right bill, so I’ve gotten to see which of my family member’s are absolute scum.
They’re here, they hate queers, but they’re usually drunk uncles.
26. favorite lgbtq actor/actress?
Hi, yes, hello, haaaaave you met Flat Kate? (see question #10)
Also, Hayley Kiyoko, because like…
…BIG GAY FLAG STORY TIME. So I went to her concert in Toronto this spring and I had everyone outside the venue that I could leave messages on it for her. All of the messages were so funny and heartfelt and there were so many baby gays at the concert and my old gay heart grew 3 sizes that day because they were there with friends and their parents and I was just SO HAPPY AND PROUD.
Then I meet Hayley because bitch splurged on VIP tickets. She gives the best hugs, and she took the time with fans and she was so genuinely happy to be there. We had a great talk and I was just thanking her for being her and doing what she do. And if you know me, you know how important it is that there’s biracial representation and she like got that. And then I give her the flag, which I had drawn on because I’M THAT KID and she’s saying how she’s gonna treasure it and read all of them and I’m like dying and trying not to openly WEEP.
Then I get into the concert which is ALL SAPPHICS, so I’m like the most comfortable that I have ever been in my entire life. Then the sound guys are setting up and they PULL OUT MY FLAG. Now, everyone knew me from when I had gotten people to write messages on the BIG GAY FLAG (”COME SIGN MY BIG GAY FLAG” is what I had been screaming), so when this flag comes out all the girls around me are like, “Girl, that’s your big gay flag.” And then I ASCENDED TO THE ASTRAL PLANE AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
27. any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news?
Don’t fucking make it about you. You aren’t the centre of the goddamn universe. No, you aren’t hearing about “gay news” too much for how many of us there are.
29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?
I’m cagey about it. It always feels so uncomfortable when it’s non-queer people asking. Queer people asking is fine and we can have a good dialogue usually, but cishet people treat me like I’m a novelty and it’s gross sometimes.
Like… dyke is tired, I don’t have time to give you the Introduction to LGBTQ+ class.
I’ve gotten this question multiple times, so I’ll do an overall answer.
1. SD’s are everywhere. Online and IRL. You have to be confident and also smart. See whether online dating apps like SA and Tinder work for you OR try freestyling OR if you’re me, you do everything because money is what makes me romantic. ;)
2. You have to craft your image and if it’s not responded to, CHANGE IT, or get MORE confident. You’re selling a product, honey.
3. LAST THING:
DON’T settle for anything and don’t be unrealistic. Find out how much men are making in your area… then set a realistic goal. Perhaps take lower offers but still continue to look for better ones at the same time. I’ve been sugaring for a few months and my consistent PPM SD’s have turned into allowance SD’s. Patience is key. Avoiding desperation is also key.
Since March is International Women’s History Month, I wanted to honor some of the female artists that are a big inspiration to me and have influenced my own work a great deal, be it with their style, their storytelling, their legacy or their values. All of them are fantastic artists, and I’m so thankful for their work!