such gold shirt

And they call female sailors 'bad luck.'

Drunk Female Captain: I stand on the table in the bar [full of drunk sailors] and yell out “If you seadogs can gather enough gold, I’ll take my shirt off!”

DM: “You take 3 nonlethal damage from being pelted by money. It’s a lot of gold.”

Captain: “Haha! That’s what I’m talking about!”
————
First Mate: “Sir, perhaps you should put your shirt back on now?”
Captain: “Nah, the men paid for this, I’ll let them enjoy themselves a bit longer. Besides. If you think I’m ever gonna get that shirt back, you don’t understand horny sailors.”
Bartender: “Yeah, a sailor ran off with it a while ago.”
Captain: “See? Now, who here wants to buy me a drink!”
DM: Three people raise their hands instantly.
First mate: “You’re milking this.”
Captain: “You can bet your ass I am.”

tom holland in england: adorable cozy boy who wears soft clothes, walks his dog, drinks tea and hangs out with his mom. practices lines in the morning, goes out to pubs and gets a lazy happy kind of drunk. is asleep by 10 pm everynight without fail. probably cries while watching titanic and likes the smell of grass

tom holland in new york: This Bitch™ who wears tight clothes that are all dark like his soul. titties are Hard and tattoo gun is Out. goes boxing every day and probably is always in the mood to make out with somebody. lowkey sleepy all the time. he’ll kick your ass he’ll kick my ass he’ll kick his own ass

tom holland in california: a fuckboy with a heart of gold. never wears a shirt, probably doesn’t even own shirts anymore bc he burned them all then lit a joint on the flames. eats raw fruit a lot and drinks only ice cold water. smells like sea salt and always has some sand in his hair. he loves life he loves himself and he loves his friends. good vibes man

jeanneyangstyle: @tomholland2013 on his way to #mtvmovieawards in @lanvin jacket @cartier rose gold Drive watch @hoorsenbuhs rose gold chain @everlane t-shirt @allsaints jeans @tods boots groomed by @nellichristine styled by @jeanneyangstyle
#SpiderManHomecoming
#tomholland

4

Yuzuru’s reaction when someone compliments him that he is tall.(x)

But seriously, look at his face when that lady says he is tall!!! The smile on his face automatically dropped lol. And the interviewer is such a hardcore fangirl I can’t deal! She keeps repeating “kakkoi kakkoi”, saying he’s still cool and handsome!

anyway here’s the best omake in the entire series