talesfromcallcenters: Give me my key. Just give me my key.
I took one of the funniest supe calls of my life today. Preface: I work for a telematics company (think OnStar for those not in the know, but obviously no spoilers as to where I work). The most important thing to know for this story is that anything which physically involves their vehicle needs to be handled by someone at their dealership, but that doesn’t stop people from asking us all the time. Anyway…
Here’s what I know prior to accepting the call:
Angry Customer (AC from now on) had a DUI and no longer has his driver’s license.
AC no longer has the key to his vehicle.
AC needs to tow his vehicle somewhere.
AC’s dealer won’t make him a key without a valid driver’s license.
At this point I accept the call.
TE: Good morning AC, this is TannerEvil a supervisor at <brand>, I understand you’re having difficulty getting your vehicle towed.
AC: Yeah, so I lost the insert for my vehicle (Does he mean the key? I think he does.) so I can’t get it started, and I don’t have my license anymore. I went to my dealer to ask them to make me a new key and they say I need my license. It’s not my fault I don’t have a license and it’s not like I want to drive the vehicle, I just need it towed. I just need someone to make me a f$&%$! key. Just make my key. Please just get someone to make my f$&%$! key…
This continues for awhile, him just ranting. I try a couple of times to interject myself “Sir…”, “I understand…”, “I’m sorry sir, I just need to…” but each time I’m cut off and he continues to rant. At one point he actually lets me talk and I say this much:
TE: Again, I’m very sorry sir. Here at <brand> we’re responsible for the telematics unit in the vehicle.
AC: Whatever the f&%$! that means. I just need my key. I need my f$&%$! key. Please just…
The rant begins again. After some more time I get another chance to speak. It becomes clear to me from his patter that he thinks he’s just going to continue to escalate all the way up the corporate ladder until he gets someone to meet his demand (since that ever works):
TE: Mr. AC, I apologize you’re not speaking with corporate. I think you’re probably looking to speak with someone from our customer assistance center located in <place>.
AC: Yeah fine, hurry it up.
I got over to that department and spoke with a nice woman there. I apologized in advance and gave her the rundown, she let me connect him promising to explain their policies to them. We’re not trained in those policies, but I assume AC probably didn’t find it very helpful.