such a shitty move on my part


A friend told me she was going to LA, but not to see comedy or go hiking or anything particularly fun. She’s helping a friend move.

Which led to us joking about how LA is the city of moving, and how she hopes LA lives up to all the moving hype. So then I opened up Photoshop and made a bunch of quick, shitty fake promotional images for Los Angeles as a city where people are always moving.

Making hyper-specific goofs for one person feels great, because when you send something like this, I’m sure part of them is thinking, “No way he actually put effort into this throwaway joke.”

But that very process has led to some of my favorite goofs! I rewrote a Duolingo email because I overheard two friends talking about how they woke up to that guilt-trippy email from Duolingo. I made that joke thinking about how I wanted those two specific people to laugh and not much else, and I think that one tweet has been passed around on the internet enough to where it’s been seen over a million times now.

I think my point is, making something is more fun if you think of it as a gift more than a piece of work.

It’s not about hating Sidney Crosby. It’s about hating the NHL’s bias toward him and other big named players like him. It’s about the danger that comes along with protecting the NHL’s golden boys. In the eyes of the Refs, players like him can’t do any wrong, and because of that, players like Methot get seriously injured. This isn’t necessarily Sid’s fault. He didn’t ask the NHL to protect him unnecessarily, but he needs to be held accountable for his shitty actions. He got away with two dangerous moves, two games in a row.

If you think that it’s okay for someone to take part of someone else’s finger off with no repercussions, just because “Well, he’s just really good at hockey,” then you’re part of the problem.

Oswald and Ed are both guilty *shoves Barnes aside* in the wrong. Oswald should not have killed Ed’s girlfriend out of jealousy and lied to his face about it. Ed should not have abused Oswald’s memory of his father or shot him while he was begging for Ed to recognize how much he loved him. Both are villains and both have done really terrible things to each other. However, it is clear that Oswald still loves Ed. And I’ve been convinced from the start that Ed loved him back, but never wanted to admit/accept it. (Great post about that here.) 

Now we have ice cube Eddie. It’d be great if Oswald is the one who eventually thaws him out, maybe he needs him for a scheme. I don’t think Ed’s going to be defrosted and ask Oswald for forgiveness. He is probably going to be mad, but I also think he’s fascinated that Oswald outsmarted him so flawlessly. In the finale he realized Oswald really is the only one who sees him. I think he’s going to be upset that he still doesn’t know who he is since he built this persona on a lie, that’s going to be something he needs to work through.

Oswald hopefully is going to spend some time with frozen Ed and realize that he played a big part in the destruction of their friendship. He has never apologized for killing that plant Isabella. 

 What I would like for them is an actual conversation where they apologize for being so shitty to each other so they can move forward. I feel like this kind of conversation could lead to them reminiscing about their past and maybe finally an admission of love from Ed.    

Anyways, my hope is for them to realize how powerful they are together. However Ed gets out of his ice prison, I hope they move back towards friendship. These two need a real heart-to-heart conversation, it should be emotional, there is still so much unresolved between them. 

And THEN they are ready to become the murder husbands they’ve always been destined to be.

Gotham Writers, we survived “love is weakness. Now give us “love is power.” 

dreamfar628  asked:

Could you please do an edit for Nobuyuki wet? Glasses/shirt not needed. ;]

@dreamfar628 hi, i failed. enjoy :’)

does anyone read tags LOL

Piano Man

Originally posted by xehunted

Pairing: Taeil x reader
Genre: smut 
Warnings: language
Word count: 4,296

You breathed through your nostrils furiously as you scrolled down the page on the hundredth site for houses for rent you had checked that day. Nothing lived up to your expectations. Well, actually, if you were honest with yourself a lot of them lived up to your expectations, exceeding them in a lot of cases. However, even the shoddiest rooftop room seemed to be way too pricey for a college student that was trying to be independent just like you. Which also translated to “I will not be asking my parents for help” as much as it was needed in situations like this. 

You did find an apartment that was at a somewhat reasonable price, but it still being more than you could afford with the low wage of your shitty part time job. Moving out of the college dormitories was not going to be easy and you knew that, but all your plans came crumbling down as reality hit you. Neither of your three best friends could be your roommates because two of them already had one and the third one shared an apartment with their partner. Writing down the needed information about the apartment, you closed the tab and opened another one, typing in the website of your college. A lot of students could post various stuff on the home page, so it was time you typed in a post looking for a roommate. 

Keep reading

Don't stand so, don't stand so close to me.

This happened years ago, my family was on a Disney vacation and we were in the Epcot park. My younger brother (“Brian”) and I had split away from the group and were waiting in lines/going on rides by ourselves. We were in the line for the Maelstrom ride in “Norway” at the time, and we were among the first in line. Right as we had gotten inside the building, we turned right and settled into our place in line. We’re used to waiting, so it wasn’t a big deal. The line inside the building begins with a small section of “hallway” where there are two solid walls with a railing on one wall, before the room opens up into the more familiar line-maze of theme parks. That “hallway” is where this happened.

Eventually, more people joined the line behind us, and soon, the short kid directly in back of us was yelling and complaining. Parents ignore him. If you’ve never been to this particular part of Disney, it’s very dark and quiet, and it was first thing in the morning, so the kid was being really, really abrasive. It didn’t help that the line wasn’t moving yet. But hey, it’s Disney, there are always things like this. Still, a shitty way to start the day for all the poor people nearby. We tuned him out and talked about other things.

The kid eventually settled with his head against the railing, walking along it, shouting, and sliding his head back and forth over the metal(wood?) bar. Soon, my brother (who was behind me, with his hip resting on the railing to keep the kid from passing us and getting separated from his inattentive parents) nudged me in the dark and whispered to look behind him. He was trying not to laugh. I looked, and the kid had reached Brian’s butt blockade of the railing, but hadn’t stopped. His face was burrowed into Brian’s ass. The kid had a baseball cap on, and it was being pushed back off his head because he was so close. The opportunity was too good to resist.

“You should fart.” I said. “Right in his face.”
“I’m trying.” he replied, already ahead of me.

I wish you could have seen the following events. It was f*cking glorious. I didn’t hear the fart, but I could tell when it happened because the kid stumbled backwards, turned left, and ran full speed into the opposite wall. He just hit the wall, BAM! with his arms out to his sides and everything, and fell over right onto his back. His parents finally started paying attention to him and picked him up. Everyone else in the line saw what happened, but was clueless about what had really gone on.

Oh god my sides.

TL;DR: My little brother weaponized a fart and took out an annoying child.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | credit

I Missed You

Title: I Missed You

Pairing: Josh/Reader

Rating: Mature

Warning: Vanilla Sex, but hey, it’s still sex.

A/N: This is the first time I have ever written smut, so Lord, beer me strength.  I have no followers so I’m not expecting to get much of a response to this.  Basically, I love Josh Dun and I really wanted to get into some more corrupt stuff but figured I’d better start out with baby steps so have some vanilla sex with fluff at the end. PLEASE send me requests so I can have some kind of prompt besides my shitty imagination.

Josh was slumped on the couch when you came home, his hands tucked under his face.  He breathed deeply, sometimes emitting small snores from his slightly parted lips.  You move closer to him, grabbing a blanket off of the back of the couch as you go, and tuck it around his shoulders, sweeping his hair back.  His lips move and he shifts, catching your hand as you turn away. 

“Baby,” he mumbles, squeezing your hand.

You chuckle to yourself, allowing him to pull you down with him under the blanket.  Josh shifts so that his back is resting against the arm of the couch, and you lie in between his legs, your head leaning on his chest.  You start to nod off, but feel his hands move up your stomach, and you realize his intentions are quite different than your own.  

“I missed you,” He mutters, voice raspy, still full of sleep.  

“I can tell” you say, looking coyly over your shoulder as you press up against his evident hard-on.  He inhales sharply, looking at you with a warning stare.  You press against him again, rolling your hips, belligerently looking him dead in the eye. His eyes go dark, his breathing coming more quickly now.  His grip on your waist tightens.  Then, without warning, he pushes you forward, and you reach out stopping yourself with a thud on the opposite end of the couch.  

You look over your shoulder, prepared to fire off a smart comment, but before you could say anything, Josh launches himself upwards, rearranging you again, and plops you (rather unceremoniously) onto the couch in a seated position. “Josh you sho-“  you stop when he abruptly yanks down on the waistband of your jeans and crushes his lips to yours.  You return the kiss hungrily, almost desperately.  Tangling your fingers into his hair, roughly pulling him closer to you.  He rests his hands on your thighs, bent over at the waist returning your kiss with equal fervor.  

He kisses down your neck, leaving no part of your skin untouched.  You moan softly, fingers still working through his hair.  He works lower, pulling your shirt over your head, sliding the straps off of your shoulders, and releasing the clasp of your bra.  Then, stepping back, he took in the view as you sat before him in nothing but your underwear.  He drags his eyes away from you body, raking his hands through his hair.  As he pulls his shirt over his head, he huffs in appreciation and kneels between your legs.  Looking up to you, he offers a small smile as he peppers kisses on your inner thighs.  Working your underwear down and off your legs, pressing his face to your core he kisses you, humming in appreciation at the ample slickness between your thighs.  

“Oh my God baby, you’re so wet for me.” He murmurs, slipping his finger into you.

When he adds a second, you let out a gasp as he curls his fingers inside of you.  He finds your g-spot, hitting it relentlessly every time, and your legs begin to tremble.  It was as if he felt your insides quicken, because he immediately pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you breathless and quaking.  You look down at him, pouting, but soon lost your disappointment as an idea pops into your head.  

You move onto the floor with Josh, putting your hands on his chest and toppling him to the floor.  Before he could move, you straddle him pushing his hips down onto the floor.  Josh looks up at you incredulously, obviously turned on by your mischievous behavior.  You grind down on him, pressing your clit against the denim of his pants, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling, soft moans falling from your lips.

“You keep doing that, and I’m not going to last much longer.” He says, his voice strained.  

He brought his hands up to your hips, helping you grind down on him harder.  His head rolls back, mouth forming an ‘o’, quick short breaths falling from his mouth.  As you moved closer to your release for a second time, Josh began to twitch underneath you.  

“Fuck baby, you gotta stop.” he hisses.

He rolls you over, holding you down while he pulls his erection free of his jeans, not bothering to discard them.  He lines himself up with your entrance, pausing to make eye contact with you before pushing into you up to the hilt.  He grunts, as his breathing becomes staggered and drops onto his elbows.  He moves into you slowly, making each thrust deliberate, groaning your name.  He quickens his movements, burying his face in your neck, nipping at the spot on he knows will make you moan his name.  It works of course, and you dig your nails into his back 

“Fuck me harder, Josh”

You can feel him smiling against your neck as he pounds into you at a vicious pace.  For the third time, your legs start to shake, and you pull him closer to you, hooking your legs around his back. 

“C’mon baby I want you to come… I can feel your tight little pussy squeezing around me” He breathed.

Your eyes screw shut as he pushes into you faster, until suddenly, with no warning, you come apart.  Your orgasm rips through you, and you quake underneath him.  Josh mutters words of encouragement to you until he finds his release as well, biting down on your shoulder through strangled grunts and moans.  He collapses on top of you, still feeling the effects of his climax.  As he shifts off of you, you look over cupping his cheek and loving the feel of his stubble in your hand.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to living without you.  Every time you leave, you take a piece of my heart with you, and in order for me ever to be whole again, you have to be here, next to me.” you breathe.
He smiled, looking at you with happiness in his eyes, still soaking in the afterglow.  “I love you so much.  More than you know.”


guys I’m so sorry I’m a lame scrub and it’s taken me so long to get this up. I also am not very proud of it and it isn’t really the way I wanted this to end but I ran out of ideas so… love you guys tho thank you so much for the support.

Warnings: SMUT

I couldn’t thank Calum enough for being there for me. It meant a lot and I never would have found out about the feelings Luke had otherwise.

I had all of the dinner with my parents to decide what I would do with the information. By the end of the dinner I had build up the nerve to go talk to him.

I went into the bathroom of the expensive restaurant my parents took me too. Making sure most of my makeup was rubbed off and not lining my eyes.

If I wanted to stay confident I had to do this now. I say goodbye to my parents and make my way to Luke’s. I have no idea if he is home but I was willing to wait.

When I arrive at his apartments, sitting in my car for minutes trying to regain the amount of faith I had at the restaurant.

My hands are shaking once I finally get out of the car. The sun is setting, a chill washes over my body as goosebumps settle over my bare legs.

His door is unlocked when I twist the knob, walking into a warm living room.

I step deeper into the house,he standing in the kitchen.

“Hey what? Too good to reply to my texts.” Luke says when he sees me.

I watch his eyes travel down my body, his eyes make my skin burn.

“I was busy.” I say, the slightest tone of annoyance laced my words.

His eyebrows etch together in confusion before remembering.

“Oh shit!” He curses. “Oh shit!” He says louder, running his hands roughly through his hair.

His eyes close and when they open his eyes are an icy blue generating all sorts of emotions.

“Your art reveal. Oh my gosh I can’t believe I forgot.” He groans to himself.

I shake my head, that’s the last thing on my mind anymore. I want to know do what calum said was really true.

Have all the feelings I’ve felt for Luke been regenerated by him. Does he wish I was more than a friend?

“Luke, it’s okay. Really.” I say. I step forward, placing a hand in the cool granite of the counter.

“No. It’s not, I’m such a shitty person. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He mutters over and over again.

I reach and touch his arm with my other hand. He finally goes quiet from his rambling and just looks at me.

His eyes moving once again down my body before settling on my face.

I look up at him, smiling at his guilt and how content he is after my touch.

“Luke.” I take a step closer to him.

I can hear his breathing accelerate as my lips part. I want to ask him how his dinner was and if she was still here.

My brain seems to not be able to form any thoughts but the one about the proximity of how close Luke is to me and the words calum said.

I have no idea what to say.

“In broke up with Arzaylea tonight. I just wants to tell you that because I haven’t been completely honest with you. She was taking away from time with my friend and well you and I-” He starts his obsessive rambling.

One of the only things I actually heard him say is that he broke up with Arzaylea. He broke up with her!

Overwhelmed with all the emotions tonight I just wanted to feel something that is real. I grab the back of his neck and pull him down to me. His lips meet mine in such a delicate way.

Such a different feeling from anything I’ve ever experienced but I know it’s real.

He kisses me back, his hand moving up to rest on my hip. My hand slides from the back of his neck into his blond curls.

His pink lips mold to mine, his soft tongue requesting entrance in my mouth. For once things were actually working out between us and nothing has ever felt so good.

When we finally pull away the room is filled with silence. The kind that makes you wonder what the other person is thinking.

His eyes continue to burn into me. I want tell him so many things but talking will simply ruin the moment.

Instead I show him my affection by reaching my hand up and stroking his face. His leans into my hand, his eye fluttering closed.

Electricity shoots through my body. Excitement and relief flood my body. I can’t believe Luke and I didn’t talk sooner. We felt the same way the whole time and fear is what stopped us from ever realizing it.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologizes again.

“Luke really, I told you it’s okay.” I say.

He opens his eyes, the blueness of them never ceases to amaze me.

“No. For everything, for not speaking up about how I feel sooner. For staying with Arzaylea for so long. I just didn’t know how to handle it. I was so scared that it would ruin our friendship if I said anything. So I think I was just distracting myself with Arzaylea because don’t know what I would do without you.” Luke says.

I smile, my cheeks heating. “I don’t know what I would do without you either.”

My brain is filled with thoughts of Luke and I as children. We giggled as we innocently shared our first kiss in the trees house we practically lived in.

I always found myself wanted to go back to the time but now that Luke and I have finally come clean I’m happy to be living in the moment.
‘Come and find me.’ I text Luke.

It’s been a couple weeks since my art show. So far it’s gotten really good reviews and it’s even been featured in Sydney’s newspapers.

Because of the publicity I’ve been contacted by other artists who want to see more of my work and asked to teach an art class.

We are at my parents for a dinner party. With all the family and friends over Luke and I have barely been able to talk to each other.

I giggle when I see his response.

‘Easy. I always win this game:)’

It’s true, even as kids no matter how good I thought my hiding spot was Luke always found me almost right away.

From outside I can hear my back for open. Feet crunch the fallen leaves and soon enough the door to the tree house swings open.

“Told you.” He grins.

He stocks oven to me, bending down so he doesn’t hit his head. This treehouse was built for us as kids and isn’t quite tall enough to support the 6 foot boy has become.

My face gets red as he sits next to me. He leans over, kissing me.

No matter how many times that’s happened in the past couple weeks I can’t get myself to get use to it. My whole body reacts to him, my mind fuzzy.

I lay back and he comes with me, laying between my legs. He already knows the things that drive me crazy for him.

His hips hesitantly drive forward making me moan involuntarily.

He plays with my tongue, biting my lip as he pulls away.

His eyes glance down at my body, my shirt curving along my breasts. Luke looks up at me with his wild cobalt as asking for permission.

I nod eagerly, I’ve been craving his touch. His long fingers tugging my shirt down to reveal my braless chest.

I hear him suck in a quick breath as he takes in my body.

The cold air bites at my nipple, making it harden. My skin feels hot against his. He dips his head down again, his lips connecting with my neck leaving wet kisses.

I can feel his hand slide down my body, I shudder when he brushes over the front of my pants.

I spread my legs a little wider, giving him consent. He struggles to unzip my pants with one hand as the other one cups my bare chest.

I help him, sliding my pants to my ankles.

We use to play in this tree house as kids. Now we are all grown up doing more… adult things.

All the memories I have in this tree house, this will be one I’m happy to keep.

His fingers rub circles on my clit. The sensitive bundle of nerves sending shock waves through my body.

My hand grips his upper arms roughly, I moan into his mouth.

His long blond hair tickles my forehead. His swollen lips attacking mine gently.

He moves to my neck, leaving marks.

I scold him, saying my parents could see. His lip moves to my ear, biting the lobe.

I moan his name, trying to clamp my legs together as I come close. His skilled hands still touching me.

“I love you.” He whispers his confession into my ear.

That along with other factors make me come undone.

All the while he whispers sweet words into my ear like the way we use to tell secrets as kids.

I don’t know if he meant as more than friends but when I said it back it felt right both ways.

a/n: so that is all the parts I was planning on doing for this story. If I think of anything else or if you guys REALLY want me to I MIGHT update again but idk. Again, love you.

Here’s a fuck manager story. I had just moved 900 miles away from where I grew up to live with my boyfriend. I had started working at this cell phone store. Of course you have shitty customers (literally this old guy shit on the floor) but for the most part it was quiet and relaxed. When I had first started we had no manager, I had no real training. Just had to watch and learn. After about 6 months we get this manager who I thought was really cute and funny. He was twice my age. So of course there was A LOT of flirting at work. He liked to drink a lot and send me late night texts. They were typically fine just kind of like “Hey!!!!” Nothing really inappropriate. During this time I was extremely vulnerable, I had severe mental health issues going on. Manager of course knew this. He had started grooming me (buying me dinner and drinks and gifts all the time). He had pressured me into moving out of my boyfriend’s apartment and he almost got me to move in with him. Instead I moved back home, manager kept calling me awful names each night when he drank, telling me I was a bitch or childish or some shit. Ended up blocking his number. He tried to drunk message me via Facebook. Blocked him on there. And recently (It’s been 6 months since I last spoke to him) he tried sending me a message via Instagram and I’m just so done. Awful experience 0/10 do not recommend

Rumors and Truths (Royal AU Heechul)

Originally posted by heecorner

Type: Fluff Angst

Request: Hiii. I want to request kim heechul royal au pleaseee.

You never thought about the royal family as anything more than just a drama filled family. You were the daughter of the man who seemed to keep the palace in one piece while your mother worked as a maid. You weren’t even technically an employee but you helped with the plants on the grounds and things like that, things to keep you occupied while you were there. You often left to explore town and what not. You grew up on the grounds of the palace but never really stepped foot into the palace much less saw the prince. You did see him up close once though, when you were 16 he went to go swimming and you were reading under a tree. You looked up when you heard a splash and you linked eyes with the prince who was looking at you from his spot in the pool. Your eyes went wide as you rushed getting up leaving your books there but you remember to bow instead of all things.

Heechul found it rather cute, he knew who you were by your mother who he found easier to talk to than his own. He had seen things from your baby pictures to your high school ones. He found you adorable but since you were still a student and well not royal, he knew better. But found a prime opportunity to help you out after your mother talked about how kids were mean to you because you refused to bring them back to the palace with you. You were graduating high school soon who better to show up for your graduation that the prince of the country?


“Oh my gosh” one of the girls in your class says as you look up from your book. “The prince is here” she squealed as everyone rushed to the window but you. “I wonder if he read my letters” she squealed as you rolled your book bringing it closer to your face as you got out of your seat and quietly left the room.


It was very clear right away where the prince was within the gymnasium, everyone was taking pictures of their children or him. Parents and their extras cheered their children as they walked a crossed stage. You were expecting your parents to be the only ones who clapped for you but once they called your name, you realized that Heechul had clapped for you making everyone else cheer extra loud to impress him. You had a very soft smile because the first time in your high school career you felt rather cool. The rest of the ceremony was quiet compared to your cheering as the other students seemed jealous of you. You eyes were on your diploma and awards for high grades and such not wanting to meet the eyes of anyone.


“So sad the only reason people clapped for you was because you had the prince here for you. Why would he come here for you though? You’re a loser and not just any loser. Literally top loser” one of the popular girls teased as you were valedictorian. “She has the most successful future” they hear a male voice say as they turned to the prince as they instantly began to have a freak out. “Congratulations Y/N” he spoke as he moved passed them “your mother mentioned you enjoyed mysteries” he spoke holding nicely bundled books as your eyes widened. “These are first editions of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes” you said in shock as he nodded.

“These are so expensive” you whispered as you looked at him “I’m a prince Y/N, money isn’t a problem” he spoke as the girls took pictures of the scene in front of them. In the heat of the moment your arms went around him as you hugged him. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around your back. You pulled back quickly as you realized your actions and gave him a simple bow as he handed you your gifts. “Come your family can ride back with me” he offered as he guided you away.


‘Prince Shaking Up With Minor?’, ‘The Reason Why The Prince Still Isn’t Married?’, ‘33 Year Old Prince. 19 Year Old Commoner. What Is He Thinking?’ Heechul’s eyes were wrde as he was shown the articles by his mother. “I promise you I haven’t been” he spoke in a panic. “She gets bullied for living here” he continues “that doesn’t matter. She’s lower than you Heechul, you’re supposed to ‘care’ for your people but not have them hug you or anything along those lines” his mother spoke as he looked down. “She’s a commoner Heechul and do not think she could ever be on your level. Make sure you’re ready for tonight, you have a princess coming over” his mother told him as she walked off.


“The queen asked you to serve” your mother told you as you gave her a confused look. “This is wonderful. You know how to hold a tray right?” she asked as she took you quickly to her room as she grabbed a black skirt and white button up. “Change” she ordered as you weren’t even sure what to think.


“Come pour princess Seonu Yoohwa” the queen ordered as you nodded. The young girl gave you a smile as she seemed a lot like Heechul people from rude overly jerky parents. “What kind of tea is this?” Yoohwa asked as you smiled “mint tea. It is to speed up the many good fortunes your family will have” you tell her lightly. “Please pour me a cup as well” Heechul spoke as you nodded heading over to him. He gave you a light smile as you gave him one back pouring him tea. “Come pour me some” the queen ordered as you nodded coming over to her. Unlike the other two she left the cup on the table. You began pour as she flicked the cup sending the hot liquid onto your legs.

“Oh clumsy me” she said casually as you, your head stayed down for a moment as you held in a scream and hiss. “I’m sorry” you whisper as you peaked your head up to her amazement you poured her another cup and bowed before walking back to the kitchen. Once there you sat the pot down as the workers saw your legs before you sank to the ground trying to keep yourself from crying as your mother rushed over to you.


“That was a bit much mother” Heechul comments as he glares at her “what?” she asked as she gave him an innocent look. Heechul smiled lightly before he got up “I’m sorry for my mother’s shitty behavior” he told the guests who looked at him wide eyed. “Heechul” his mother called “scarring a girl for just being part of a rumor is more horrid than I thought” he spoke as he walked away from table. He walked into the kitchen, everyone looked up and bowed as he picked you up and sat you onto the counter as you looked at him “I’m sorry about my mother” he whispers as he felt a cold rag by your mother as he lightly pressed it to your legs as his hand moved to far upwards you caught it as it had gone under your skirt “sorry” he blushed as he noticed your mother had placed a bowl beside you as he simply dipped the rag into the water and began doing the same to the other leg. “I won’t let her do anything so stupid to you again” he told you as you gave him a smile. 


Heechul laid back on the beach chair by the pool. His eyes were jvered by sunglasses for two reasons. To keep his eyes from being blinded by the sun’s rays and to see when you were coming out to check on the plants. He was too proud to admit his crush on you, you were just too adorable to him not to like. He was a very grown man while you were just blooming into a woman but his parents had been nagging about finding someone. He smiled as soon as he saw you walk out “Y/N!” he calls out making you jump “yes my prince?” you ask as you bow to him. “Come here please” he says as you make your way over. “I was wondering if you would help me with my sunscreen” he spoke grabbing the bottle “I want to sunbathe on both sides so” he says as you nervously take the bottle from him. 

He unbuttons his shirt slowly as he pulled it off you looked away. He laughed as he scooted up “climb behind me” he told as you quickly did. You squeezed some into your hand as you began rubbing the cold lotion onto his skin. His eyes closed as he felt your hands run along him “this is nice” he spoke as you moved down to awkwardly put some onto his lower back. He jumped slightly making you squeeze the bottle and lotion went everywhere. “Ah making a mess” he teased as he turned around seeing the chair was covered. He scooped some up and instantly rubbed it onto your skin “can’t waste” he told you as you nodded as he touched your face. “You’re cute you know” he told you as he squeezed your fave “thank you my prince” you tell him “call me Heechul please” he spoke. “Heechul” you say giving him a small shy smile. 

Shattered Dreams (Task Force X x Reader)

Originally posted by dcuniversepresents

You were walking down the road close to the apartment you shared with your partner, your hands full with bags from the grocery.

It was just another normal day, the sun was shining bright and the sunshine warmed your skin, giving you a cozy feeling. You got in your block of flats and waited for the elevator, singing.

You finally got in your apartment. “Honey, I am home!” you said and went to the kitchen to leave the bags.

You went to the living room only to see your partner in the floor, photographs, and stuff from your old life scattered around them and a disappointed look on their face.

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the worst part of joining the navy was being fingerprinted

let me explain

so when my family moved back from south dakota (sans my father) we lived in this shitty apartment in ayer MA.  I was 10 years old.  So my mother’s not home, I’m pretty sure we were being babysat by John (who appears in a few other of my stories).  I don’t remember why I did this, but I went into my mom’s room and found the family pictures she kept in this shoebox.  I look through them, pick one of my mother and father and rip it in half, placing each one on a pillow, as if they’re laying in bed together.  

I have literally always been a melodramatic piece of shit.

I guess I accidentally deleted the messages on her answering machine (this was 2001 people, we used them) Mom comes home and asks if anyone was in her room.  I have plausible deniability because john had my back (he didn’t think I went in there, but he also didn’t have eyes on me the whole time, but like, i was 10, it wasn’t exactly like leaving a toddler like my brother alone). She freaks out and calls the cops, they take her statement that she thinks my father broke into our apartment during the day, ripped the pictures and deleted the messages. Now, we get to the fingerprints.  The pictures were taken as evidence, so being a kid, I didn’t realize they’d probably rule me out, considering I lived in the house. but since that day I was petrified my mother would find out it was me.  even my siblings have no idea.  

I had to get fingerprinted to join the military and I thought i was going to pop up in the system for breaking and entering in 2001 at the age of 10

Okay I don’t ever do this BUT 1 year ago to this date I celebrated 600 followers by posting part one of When You Least Expect It

Today a year later I am 7 followers away from 6k - it is crazy but I am crazy and would love for my celebration to start to day. Help a girl out?

@torn-and-frayed @nichelle-my-belle @chaos-and-the-calm67 @mysupernaturalfics @bringmesomepie56 @percywinchester27 @bkwrm523 @mamapeterson @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @supernatural-jackles @kittenofdoomage @blacktithe7 @winchesterswoonathon @one-shots-supernatural @teamfreewill-imagine @ellen-reincarnated1967

anonymous asked:

First things first - I really loved the new chapter! So so much!! but at one point I really had to laugh bc I got Twilight feelings once again I'm sorry Kaz but --- 'But over a year ago Viktor had watched Yuuri skate his old routine in a deserted Russian ice rink, had seen the love flowing from every move, and had realised that there was a part of Yuuri, no matter how buried that part might be, that didn’t hate him at all.' 😅

I’m betting at least 90% that this is from the support group and I just want you to know that I have accepted my fate of never being able to escape that shitty series in Rivals and so I’m embracing it and putting a deliberate twilight reference in the next chapter as a joke

The Wings Tour - 19/03/2017 - São Paulo, Brasil

So I went to the BTS concert here in Brasil…. I was going to make a whole text about it and stuff but I decided that my own self freaking out to my friend on twitter right after I came back from the concert was a more accurate description of my experience over there. So I decided to just copy and paste everything I sent to her, with all the grammar mistakes, caps and misspelling:

“So first of all I’m dead… like come to my funeral tomorrow cause I’m fucking dead. 

Second of all it’s now almost four am, the concert ended about 22:30 and just now after I took a shower I managed to stop shaking and crying.  

Third of all my body hurts like I’ve been run over by a truck but it’s okay.

So let me tell you about the concert.







On the end of spring day that is the last song we sang the oh oh oh from the MV and they got so moved, like they were holding back tears or even crying and UGH I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH


Then I sent her some shitty pics with some captions such as: “Seokjin slaying my entire existence with awake like damn son”

And started to freak out again: “Then they started to talk in fUCKING PORTUGUESE LIKE PROS so I decided to record it” 

And then I send her the videos of the boys talking in portuguese (all the bold parts is me translating to her what they said in portuguese btw and i’ll link the videos I posted on my Instagram if anyone wants to see it), again with captions such as: He said that thanks to us he feels better LIKE OMG JIN YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKES US FEEL BETTER OMG I LOVE HIM” or “Hope to see you more times” “now im really happy” MY SON ITS TOO CUTE GOD BLESS HIM” about Jungkook and then: “The time passed too fast, I wish it didn’t end here” CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING BECAUSE I BET YOI CAN!!! KIM TAEHYUNG WAMTS TO SEE ME DEAD I SWEAR! HIS PORTUGUESE IS SO CUTE HIM SAYING THAT IS MY NEW RELIGION GODDAMMIT I LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF HIM I’m okay I’m okay~~~” about Taehyung and I think you can all guess from me freaking out about him to her that he is my ultimate bias… and “Are you gonna miss us” NAH JOONIE WHY WOULD I- YES OF COURSE I WILL PLS DONT LEAVE ME” or “ “Brazil always leaves me with good memories” HE KILLED ME. HE JUST KILLED ME.” about Yoongi and then “I got emotional” ME TOO JIMINIE ME TOO” and to end with a huge bang: “You are our wings that’s why we can fly high, let’s fly higher together” HOSEOK ENDED ME WOTH THIS! HOW DARE HIM! HOW CAN HE EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY SUCH THINGS IN PORTUGUESE DAMMIT I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH”

You can all see from that mess that it was an amazing concert. The day after I woke up crying and I couldn’t stop crying because after the adrenaline kicked off, all my emotions exploded. I was completely wrecked.

I never loved any group or band as much as I love BTS. They really do mean everything to me and I never knew I could love a group this much because I loved some others in the past and my feelings fro them were big and deep but with BTS is a feeling that I can’t even begin to describe. I love each and every single one of them with all my heart and nothing makes me happier than knowing that I made them happy in this concert. 

It was nice to see that in the concert on the day after Namjoon changed his lyrics after we chanted “we love you” to him. Hear him singing “yes I do love myself” messed up with my emotions in a way I don’t know how to describe. I feel very lucky to have been part of the reason why this happened and I couldn’t be more proud of my fellow b-armys that made these two concerts unforgettable nights not only for BTS but for us armys as well. 

Now all my pics are shit because I couldn’t stop shaking but I’ll leave this one here because this one is probably the only one that is not shaken and it is my bias and my bias wrecker… plus Yoongi’s face is funny lol… <333

btw thanks @ochisu for hearing me freaking out about this, I love youuuuu.


Okay so I know I’m late to the party but I only just watched this video and this part really stood out for me.

I moved away from my home town - a shitty, suffocating little place - to a completely new country, and I’ve been given a lot of flack for it. How could I do that to my parents, why did I go so far, what do you mean you’re never going back to live there, yada yada yada. It’s exhausting to hear because doing that wasn’t exactly easy. I miss my parents, and being alone so far away is scary. But staying back there was never an option for me, and I don’t regret leaving, and I never will.

This part of the video kinda reminded me that yeah, it’s scary to be a grown-up all alone, but you know what? I got out of a really bad place for me emotionally, mentally, what have you. And I’m so, so much happier now.

So if you want change, if your heart feels ready to claw itself out of your chest and your mind is screaming at you to go, go, get us out, then do it. It’s terrifying, but you’re never alone for long, and when you’ve made it - and you will - you’ll see that it’s so, so worth it.



Word Count: 3, 248

Tags: @commandergreysonpike @brutalera @allaboumydirtymind @missphanosaur18 @sighsophiia @lakef

Warnings: None

Note: I just realized that I hadn’t updated in 2 weeks and I’m so so so sorry you guy oh my g o d. Please enjoy this really shitty intermediate chapter of your fav ship.


I could feel the warmth of the morning air shining on my face. Slowly waking from my deep sleep, I let out a small groan, adjusting myself so that my arms were no longer tucked between Donald and I. Wetting my lips, I rubbed my eyes, slowly lifting my head from Donald’s chest. He shifted slightly, sighing through parted lips as I moved. Already beginning to wake up from the lack of my weight against him, I felt a wave of happiness pass over me. Looking down at him for a few moments, I then swung my legs over him. Straddling his waist as the sheets fell from my thighs. The soft sound of morning activity coming through the open window.  

Leaning my head down and gently pressing my lips to his jaw line, I left a trail and kisses up his chin, and pausing at the corner of his mouth, I felt him lifted the corners of his mouth into a slight smirk, and his arm came up around me. I let him pull me closer, kissing me slowly. My lips parted against his and I felt his tongue slide against mine. A shiver ran down my spine, and he finished the kiss with a long inhale. Tentatively, he then leaned his head back down and met my gaze. His human fingers moving down my cheek.

“Hey,” I murmured.

He didn’t say anything, only, taking my chin in his hand, he pulled me down, and then pushing his body up, in a second, I was underneath him. His weight pressing down on me. Propping himself up with his elbows beside my head, Donald adjusted himself so that our bodies fit together. I brought my knees up, pressing my legs around his waist. Donald swallowed, and then kissed me, deeply. Heavily. The sleep still evident in his touch. But I felt the friction between us increase, my whole body becoming hot. Sliding my hands down his back, Donald grew tense, and pulling away, moving away from me within a second… I looked at him with a puzzled expression. Sitting up.  

“What time is it?” He gruffly asked, breaking the thick atmosphere. I bit my lip. This was the second time that this happened. I felt my stomach tighten. I wanted him.

It had been 3 months since he found me. Though my dreams were still haunted by death, I found it easier to go through the day. Knowing that I was going to see him again. 

Donald trudged over to the kitchen. It was small, with barely anything in the cupboards, but it was efficient. Donald grabbed a mug, sighing heavily as he set it down. There was some coffee left from last night. As he poured the remnants into the mug, I walked over to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my body into him. I felt his muscles relax. Kissing his shoulder blade, I breathed in his scent and smiled. Then, making another pot, Donald passed the mug to me.

“I gotta get ready for work, here.” I took the mug. His fingers grazed mine and he leaned over. Kissing the top of my head. I felt his hot breath and everything went silent.

“You alright?” I looked up.

“I don’t want to go…”  His accent slurred his words, a lazy smile on his lips and his eyebrows pulled tightly together.

“I don’t want you to either,” I muttered. His lips grazed mine. I put the mug on the counter, and Donald rested his forehead against mine. Sliding his hand up my neck and cupping my face, I linked my arms around his neck.

After a breath, Donald kissed me and then grabbed his jacket. I rested my hip against the counter and squeezed my jaw. However, digging through the pocket of his jacket, Donald pulled out a box and came back over to me. 

It was a phone. I looked back up at him as he bit his lip. His gold tooth glinting in the morning light.

“So I can get a hold of ya.”

“Yeah…” I pulled the phone from the case. Turning it on, I squinted against the shining white light.

Carefully looking over the way I was holding the phone, I could tell that Donald was attempting to figure out what I was thinking. When I glanced down again, Donald closed the distance between us. Taking my hands, after parting my touch from the phone and setting it on the counter. My stomach dropped, butterflies filling my stomach as he looked down at me with eyes full of emotion.

“Promise you’ll be alright? That’s you’ll get a hold of me?”

I found myself yearning more and more to feel his lips on mine. And in my stomach, the pull for him to stay became stronger. Nodding, I ran my thumb across Donald’s bottom lip and smiled. 

“You know that I love you, right?” I muttered. The words still seemed so new. So dangerous to me, that a small ounce of fear ran through my veins before he answered. 

“I know.” Glaring at him, Donald chuckled under his breath and smirked even wider. “And I love you too." 

With one last kiss before his left, I savored the feeling of the gruff scratch of his facial hair against my skin, the hot touch of his rough fingertips, and the smell of his sharp cologne filling my nose before he turned and left. 

In the next minute, I was left alone in the apartment. The sound of the door clicking shut echoed to the windows, and as I used to, I walked over to them. Watching as Donald walked heavily to the car. Climbing into the black truck, and speeding off.

The morning was slow, quiet, with the sun continuing to shine with a slight yellow and orange tint until noon when it became a strong white reflection. With the heat of the cloudless sky warming my face, I sat in the small nook by the window, with a book in hand, and my computer resting between my legs. Quiet classical music filled the space of the background. With my dark hair tied up into a messy bun, strands fell in front of my face as I flipped through the pages. I had begun studying the subject of Biology-more specifically, genetic mutations. With all of the research that came out before the Mutants nearly went extinct, I delved into the world in which the human body wasn’t just the human body anymore. My mind attempting to conceptualize Rice’s interest in these beings. Possibly trying to find something that would explain why I had powers further than human capacity.

I couldn’t be a mutant.

Maybe I was still dreaming, hallucinating. Maybe I was still lying in the dirt of the old mattress, with the cold feverish weather that colored my skin gray and purple sending my last train of thought to what I really wanted.

Possibly this was too good to be true.

Scribbling the notes on the origins (more so the discovery) of mutations within society, I felt a coldness fill my stomach, and I shut my eyes. Suddenly I coughed so hard that my throat burned with stomach acid, and I raced to the bathroom. Heaving over the toilet with a sickness that rippled through my body. Liquid fell from my lips and wiping my mouth with a tissue, I closed my eyes and sat against the wall. When I opened my eyes to the sight of my shaky hands in front of me, I found that my fingertips looked as if they were dipped in black dye, my veins throbbing with the gentle touch of death.

Looking beside me, fear filled my body as Charlie stared back at me with a sly, thin smile on his face.  

Breathing heavily, I looked frantically around me, finding that I had fallen asleep mid-study. The image of Charlie still resided in my mind, and I moved my book from my numb fingers with a shaky breath.

In the bathroom, I washed my face and leaned against the sink. Trying to catch my breath.

This one felt the most real. The way I could feel Charlie’s shoulder against mine, the warmth radiating from his body, the coldness in my hands. The same that I felt with his lips on mine. A shiver ran down my spine, and I grabbed my shoes. I needed to get out.

Despite what Donald thought, my safety lay not in the walls of the apartment, but with him. And without, Charlie found his way back to me within my dreams, and the fear of my destruction shook me to my bones. I grabbed the phone Donald had given me at the beginning of the morning, I shoved it into my back pocket. Not bothering to tell Donald that I was leaving. He didn’t need to know.

Walking outside, the hot air hit my face, and I breathed in, the fresh air filling my lungs until I breathed out. Pausing before getting into the spare car that Donald insisted on having to make sure I had an escape, just in case Rice found us.


“It’s only a precaution.” He whispered, his face so close to mine that I felt his breath on my cheek. I ran my fingers through his hair. His arms were wrapped around my waist, and I was looking at the car.

“You said he wouldn’t find out.”

“I know baby… But I want to be safe. Y’know this.”

“I know.”

“Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not…” I sighed, and then looked at him. “Don’t worry. I’m not.”

He let silence pool around us, before smiling. I looked up at him with my back arched against his chest. He stood behind me with his chin resting against my shoulder. His lips turned towards my face as he talked to me. “Good…” I then turned around to face him and wrapped my hands around his neck. Pulling him down into a long kiss. His lips pressed against me with a sweetness, but also bitterness in the fact that we both knew. We wouldn’t be able to hide forever.


Moving down the sidewalk, buildings surrounded me, and others past me. I remembered walking down the street of my hometown, with the same degree of hot weather pressing through my thin clothes.

Turning into a small shop, I breathed in the scent of warm bread, fresh coffee, and newly cut beef. Something hit me, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Shaking the thought of the little girl out of my mind as I glanced down to the scene of a small girl hanging onto her mother’s leg. A wide smile plastered on her lips, a giddy laughter periodically filling my ears.

Sighing, I then walked up to the counter. Keeping my eyes on the little girl. Afraid that any second, with a blink of the eye, she’d disappear into a cloud of mist. Something that still puzzled me, onto to be blamed on the side effects of dying. Getting myself a small cup of coffee with a plain bagel and strawberry cream cheese, I sat down in the corner by the fireplace. It was a small breakfast cafe, with brick walls and old tile floors.

Biting into the bagel, the warmness of the bread filled my mouth and I felt my eyes droop close. I then realized how hungry I was, and wolfed down the rest with slight breaks in between bites in order to down a gulp of dark roast coffee.

Through the silence, however, I heard the phone go off in my pocket-startling me. I pulled it out, eyeing the message that Donald had left.

Testing… Testing… How’s it goin?

I responded, not wanting to give any hints that I was anywhere or any busy with anything other than being in the apartment. A weird sense… I trusted him… And it wasn’t that I thought he’d be mad… But… Something in me didn’t want to worry him. Any more so than I had already done.

Fine. I did some studying :)

It was a few minutes before he would answer, presumably because something called him away.

Good. I’ll be back a bit early tonight

Gotta go.

Locking the phone, I set it on the table in front of me and leaned back. The warmth of my coffee radiated into my fingers and palms, which spread into my arms. It was nice, the warm atmosphere, the sound of music coming through the slight buzz of early conversations, the scent of fresh food, the taste of coffee other than Donald’s cheap, black kind. Yet, as time passed, I pressed my lips together and got up. Gathering my stuff, and continuing my way through town.


When I got back, the apartment was the same as I left it. The bed sheets tossed on top of the mattress, still twisted from the intertwining shape of my sleepless nights, the lights on the ceiling low, with the sunlight stretching across the floor. Dust in the air parted around me as I walked through the room, slinking my way over to the nook by the window, and plopping down on the soft blankets that were piled where I had been seated. Opening my laptop, my fingers grazed over the keyboard, and I opened my journal. Neatly organized, I felt the feeling of satisfaction fill my stomach, and I stayed there for the rest of the day. Typing in entries, breathing in sighs of frustration alongside relief when I had accidentally deleted something important then found out I really didn’t… All the stressful things that came with being a writer.

With the slowly descending sun, the door unlocked, and Donald shut it behind him. His eyes were tired and his hair disheveled. His machine hand falling from the door knob to his side in a heavy breath. Looking up, our eyes met, and I smiled softly. Warmth filling my stomach as my whole body relaxed in knowing it was him.

“Hey, Baby,” Donald trudged over to me, flinging his long, thick coat onto the bed, and then pressing his lips onto the top of my head for a firm kiss. Lifting my chin with his human hand, he then kissed me on the lips, slowly. Making up for the lost hours of which we were apart.  “Missed you…” He murmured. The feeling of his words on my lips sending a chill down my spine. Setting my laptop to the side, I then wrapped my arms around his neck and let him pull me up to my knees. The height difference still significant between us, I giggled slightly when I felt Donald only straighten a couple of inches.

With his hand on my cheek, I leaned into his touch, and he pulled away from me. Hesitantly, with a sigh… I left my eyes closed for a second, already feeling the absence of his lips. The sweet taste of tangerine and cigarette smoke still lingering.

A low hum tickled my throat, and Donald pecked me on the lips, pressing his chest against me, then quickly clearing his throat and walking away. He sat on the bed and took off his shoes. I noticed the clear definition in his arms and swung my legs to the floor. Walking over to him, and then sitting on the bed… He was quiet, his jaw set and his eyes narrow.

“What happened?”

“I’m tired… But everything is alright.”

“Really,” I affirmed, turning his head to face me. Donald just nodded reassuringly, and then I sat back. Letting my head hit the skewed pillows. “When has anything ever been alright, Donald.”

Donald then laid back, his lips pressing against my shoulder. “Right now.”


“Darlin, you gotta stop worryin’… I got everythin’ under control. Okay?” I lifted my fingers to touch his face, but he raised his hand and brought the back of mine to his mouth. “Okay?”


Closing his eyes, he still held my hand, and I inched closer to him. Allowing for our bodies to press together, and for my eyes fall shut. I knew with him, or at least hoped, that my nightmares would cease to haunt me. But even with Donald’s warmth radiating against me, the coldness of death still reached me.

I was drowning. Water enveloping me like chains… Dragging me down. I screamed. Gasped for air. But the freezing cold waters only spilled into my lungs. It burned. Everything burned. Despite being surrounded by water, my whole body felt as if I had been engulfed in fire. Everything around me fell away, and suddenly I was surrounded by green trees. Damp grass pressing into my knees. I looked ahead at Donald, who sat in the same position. Back straight, on his knees, eyes set forward. Only, his lip was bleeding and his eye was black with the result of a hard punch. My whole body began to shake as I spotted a gun pressing against Donald’s temple. Donald didn’t seem phased by it, but everything in me yearned to leap forward, to knock the gun away. Running over the prosecutor’s arm, I saw the face of Charlie looking back at me. Behind him, stood Zander Rice. His hand pressing down on the shoulder of a small girl.

I must have woken up Donald because opening my eyes, I gasped for air, feeling his hands hold my face. Panicking, I didn’t realize it was him before his thick southern accent filled my ears. All I felt was that same suffocating feeling, with Donald’s palms pressing against my face, and one of his legs thrown over me. Presumably to stop me from flailing my arms and legs.

As tears ran down my face, Donald’s arms enveloped me into a tight hug, and I shut my eyes. Letting my shoulders shake with each sob.

“You’re okay… Shhhh…. Mary. Mary, baby, look at me.” Donald moved my face away from his chest, angling it so that I peered up at his concerned face through blurry vision. “I got you. You hear? You’re safe. It was just a dream. Just a dream…”

Nodding, I whimpered, and Donald stroked my hair. Closing his eyes as he pushed my head back against his chest. His weight comforting me as his leg stayed around me, and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and upper back. His touch like a cage without a key. “You’re with me…” He added, and I then drifted back into sleep. I was with him. This was real. Any nightmares to come were only that. And Donald’s words coaxed me to dried tears, weary eyes, as well as quivering lips. But reassurance, nonetheless… At least, for the time being, that I remained safe in his arms, and him safe in mine. 

For the time being that everything was alright. That we were together.

Telling Shitty

It’s a Thursday night. Jack is just back from a roadie, loose-limbed and happy with himself. Bitty is in his kitchen, making omelettes for a late supper, wearing one of Jack’s shirts.

Moments like this make Jack think things, fierce possessive things like I want this all the time, though they’re not quite there yet. Maybe next year, when Bitty knows what he’s doing after college. I can see there from here.

The phone call is an intrusion, but it’s Shitty, and Jack has been feeling bad about him, so he takes it.

“Hey, Shits.”

Bitty turns and smiles over his shoulder, and that’s distracting enough that it takes a few moments for Jack to realise that Shitty is a bit drunk, and a lot apologetic.

“…Seriously, brah, it was not cool of me to call you out like that in front of everyone, I know you like your privacy, it was a dick move on my part…”

“Shitty,” Jack says steadily. He feels sort of light-headed, but they’ve talked about this, he and Bitty, they have a plan for when he feels ready, but maybe he will never feel 100% ready, not until until he actually jumps of the cliff.

Impulse decisions have worked out pretty well for him lately. 

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Don't blame me! I haven't got a f***ing clue what I'm doing.

Waaay back in the 90s, I was doing what all lazy, unintelligent youths do when they don’t want to do A-level courses at college. I did a “modern apprenticeship”. It had 4 days a week in an office, and 1 day in college.
Part of the college course was “Information and Communications Technology”.
I was pretty good at that part, and didn’t feel like sleeping like I did when it was “Finance and Accounting”.
Anyhow… we had a small network of Windows 3.1 PCs and Novell NetWare file server. And we would use this stuff for ICT lesson exercises and to do studying for other bits of our course.
I’m generally a nice and friendly person, and would usually help my fellow students when they got stuck on some part of an exercise or whatever. Most people were grateful for the help. Except Ashley.
In one lesson, Ashley’s intellect was not up to the task of entering names in a spreadsheet and then doing a “mail merge”. I offered to help, and he gladly accepted. But I couldn’t rescue this shitty spreadsheet. He’d put everything in the wrong place. And I was not going to sit there moving things around for him or being a data entry clerk. So I told him the spreadsheet needed to be put right or it would never work.
“You think you know this computer stuff, but look, you don’t know shit! You’re not clever; you’re f***ing thick and you don’t even know it”
“Well I got further with it than you did”
“Yeah? You’re so smart but you won’t fix mine?”
“Mine works.”
“You haven’t got a f***ing clue what you’re doing. You’re wasting my f***ing time”
I quickly return to my desk.
How could somebody be such a dick? I’m trying to help, and he goes and tries to belittle me in front of the whole class.
Nevermind, I figure I’ll leave it. Not much I can do, anyway.
Or is there?
A few weeks later, and a few snide comments like “don’t let him touch it, he f***ed up my stuff last time”, I have found a new program called “sheep.exe”. You run it, and a cartoon sheep runs around your screen, on top of your windows, and falls spectacularly when you close the windows from under it. Well, not that spectacular, but it was the 90s, and we couldn’t play Sonic The Hedgehog on a PC.
I send a copy to a couple of classmates, and they love it. Soon, the entire class is looking at the few PCs that have sheep running about the screen.
Ashley makes his voice heard “oi, send that to me, mate”
“Sure, hang on a min”…
Instead of sending “sheep.exe”, I sent “sheep.bat”, which was a small batch file I hastily wrote, to move everything in his home drive (everyone’s was h:) to a folder called “gayporn”, and then set it as “hidden”. I toyed briefly with the idea of just deleting everything but decided it would be best to leave myself a “no real harm done” card to play, in case I needed it.
So Ashley ran my attached batch file and… nothing happened.
Ashley then told me again about how I didn’t know what I was talking about and maybe I should just f*** off and die.
I told him it worked for everyone else I sent it to, maybe he was doing it wrong. So he spent a fair while trying to find different ways to double click on the attachment, hoping he might be treated to a sheep if he just clicked the right way this time.
So, anyway, I decided to send him the “real” sheep program, and he got his sheep.
He didn’t notice his missing files until right at the end of the lesson.
He came to ask me about his files, his face stricken with panic.
“F*** man, my f***ing stuff has all gone!”
“No way! Did you delete it by accident or something?”
“I didn’t touch it. It’s all gone! Did that sheep thing delete your files?”
I open my “H” drive.
“Nope, mine are all there. Nobody else seems to be missing anything. Must be just you.”
“You’re f***ing useless. Where are my files?”
And I gave him a cold stare and said:
To this day, I have no idea if he ever found his files or had to redo a lot of homework. I like to think that he at least was challenged once about the existence of a hidden folder in his home drive called “gayporn”.