such a perfect arse she has

Brotherly Approval

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes X Reader

Requested: No

A/N: This is just a fun little idea I thought of and I like how it turned out! It’s a little different, the reader interacts a little more with Mycroft than Sherlock but it’ll (hopefully) make sense if you read it. I hope you enjoy!

*****

You want to meet her?” Sherlock scoffs, rolling his eyes as his brother sighed, crossing his arms firmly, glaring at his brother who was curled up in his chair. “I’m rather shocked Mycroft.”

“Well, yes I would. Think of it as brotherly approval. To be quite honest, brother dear, I never would’ve imagined in a hundred years that you would be able to win someone’s heart, let alone get yourself a significant other.” Mycroft smirks, sipping his cup of tea. “Besides, I’d like to make sure you’re not just making this up in your head. Or, for all I know you could be dating a rather uninteresting and ignorant girl, I mean she did fall for you after all.”

“Don’t speak of (Y/N) that way-” Sherlock snaps as Mycroft’s eyes widen teasingly.

“Ah, so the imaginary girlfriend has a name.”

“She is a beautiful and intelligent girl. And for your information, she is very much a reality. She’s perfect.” Sherlock says completely ignoring Mycroft’s comments, smiling cheekily. It was Mycroft’s turn to roll his eyes. Sibling rivalry, annoying and a pain in the arse but well-meant and friendly all the way.

“I’ll meet her one day.”

“And for your ego’s sake, I hope that day doesn’t come anytime soon.”

*****

Mycroft stood in the relatively empty tube, rocking gently from side to side as the train moved underneath the busy streets of London.
He was off to visit Sherlock for a very important matter and also to make sure he hadn’t blown off his face and decided that he wanted to travel like the little people for a change. Experience the wonders of cheap smelling leather seats and crowded transportations. It sucked. He should’ve taken his private car.

He looked around the compartment and his eyes fell on a girl who looked about Sherlock’s age. He examined her discreetly out of the corner of his eye, a move he had mastered since youth.

She’s pretty, he thought.

“I have a boyfriend.” the girl says suddenly, catching Mycroft completely off guard.

He blinks and clears his throat, “Excuse me?”

The girl laughs and smiles. Mycroft could see her eyes burning brightly with intellect.

“Oh, I noticed you were analyzing me, and don’t get me wrong I’m flattered but I’m already taken,” she says with a wink. Mycroft flushed from embarrassment and mentally scolded himself. How could he have possibly let himself be so careless? He had been confident that he was the best at discretion. However, for some reason he couldn’t deduce anything about the girl, she was a blank slate.

“I’m sorry, I’m not exactly interested. It’s just what I do subconsciously, it’s my second nature.” he explains, and the girl nods, still sporting a cheeky smile.

“I understand, my boyfriend is the exact same way…” she recalls, trailing off while glancing momentarily at Mycroft’s umbrella that was tucked snugly under his arm. “You don’t take the tube very often, do you?”

Mycroft eyes widened slightly. He had to admit, this girl was good.

“And why would you think that?” he inquires, raising an eyebrow. He was interested to hear what the girl would reveal.

“Well, for starters you’re wearing a pretty expensive suit, it’s very well tailored too and that alone is something that you don’t see normal people wear every day. So I would assume that you have a career that values formality, perhaps something government related. Am I getting warm so far?” the girl theorizes and Mycroft simply nods slowly, gesturing for her to continue. “Based on your posture, you also look like you’re not very fond of public places or people for that matter. Maybe you have trust issues, which might explain why your umbrella is actually a weapon.”

She swiftly tugs the umbrella out of his grasp and disassembles it, revealing the blade and gun in disguise.

“Or two.”

Mycroft hadn’t even noticed that she had approached him.

Idiot, he scolds himself.

“Now,” the girl jeered, using his own weapons against him, the blade dangerously close to his throat. “Who are you and what do you want?”

“My name is Mycroft Holmes,” he starts calmly, taking a breath to continue when he no longer felt the tip of his blade pressed against his neck. The girl had lowered the defenses and assembled the weapons back together in a blink of an eye, handing the umbrella back to him.

“Change of heart?” he questioned, raising his eyebrow.

She smiled and Mycroft glared at her, trying to decipher the unique girl but he didn’t have a single clue.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mycroft.” she extolled, raising Mycroft’s suspicions. She didn’t seem like a criminal or a bad person and he was definitely interested in finding out more about the girl, so he decided to play along. For now.

“First name basis already, it seems?” he commented, cueing for her to introduce herself.

“Ms. (L/N),” she replied with a smirk and Mycroft’s face fell. “And no, I’m afraid I’m the only one who gets to call you by your first name. A very interesting choice of name, I may add. Seems to run in the family…”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, nothing.”

The station bell chimes as the train starts to slow down, coming to a smooth halt. It was Mycroft’s stop.

“Well, this is where we get off.” the girl hums, grabbing him by the arm and practically dragging him out of the tube.

We?

“Am I wrong?”

Mycroft sighed in defeat, he had hoped that he and this girl would be parting ways. Being around just made him feel stupid and degrading.

“No…”

“I hope that umbrella of yours is actually capable of protecting us from the rain.” she surmised, dragging him up the stairs to the streets of London.

“Us?” he gulped.

“Why, yes. You’re off to Baker Street to visit your brother, no?”

“Yes, but how-”

“Well, so am I. Come on now! Open your umbrella I don’t want to get wet.”

“You’re a client?” he queried and she rolled her eyes.

“You ask too many questions. Now open the bloody umbrella!”

He definitely felt degraded.

*****

“Mycroft what are you doing here?” Sherlock asks, looking quite annoyed, the girl slipping past Sherlock and into the flat with Mycroft staring after her with his mouth slightly agape.

“She just went into your flat.”

“Yes and?”

“A complete - but may I add extremely intelligent - stranger is sitting on your chair, brother!”

Sherlock looks back at the girl and laughs. He pulls Mycroft inside, still laughing while the girl and he exchanged smiles.

“So, it appears you’ve met.” Sherlock says, still chuckling madly.

“Met him on the tube. I might’ve scared him a bit.”

Sherlock looks at Mycroft. “You still haven’t figured it out, have you?”

“Hmm, I’m surprised, Sherlock. You did say that he was quite fast at catching on.” the girl giggled, extending her hand to Mycroft. “I’m (Y/N), Sherlock’s girlfriend.”

And it clicks in his head as all the pieces fall into place. Suddenly, he could easily deduce the girl.

“Brother, you’re getting rusty.” Sherlock smirks and Mycroft frowns. “Don’t worry too much about your lack of deductions, she probably made you feel flustered and clogged your head, happened to me too when I first met her. You’re perfectly normal. Or as normal as you can possibly be, that is.”

“Well now that that’s sorted out, why are you really here Mycroft? Sherlock’s told me that you’re not very fond of friendly visits, there must be something you want from us.” the girl questions, squinting her eyes teasingly at Mycroft. He felt himself shrinking away from the girl, he had already been humiliated enough for one day. “You’re hiding something, c'mon spill the beans.”

“Fine,” he grumbles, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. “I’ve been having difficulty solving this brain teaser and I’m rather ashamed of myself for coming to my younger brother to ask for help, especially after today’s events. I just can’t solve it and it’s nagging me, you know?”

Sherlock snatches the paper eagerly out of his hand and reads what’s written, his face contorting to a look of confusion. (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that the smartest people in London (and possibly even the world) were stumped by what was written on the slip of paper.

“I honestly have no idea.” Sherlock admits with a frown. “It’s not logical…”

“Exactly.” Mycroft agrees while (Y/N) takes the slip from Sherlock and examines the paper herself.

‘A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?’

She doubles over with laughter and the boys turn their heads towards her, looking slightly annoyed.

“(Y/N), what’s so funny? We’re trying to find the answer to this illogical question.”

“His horse is named Friday. It’s so simple!”

“What? Oh.” they both say, and at this point, the girl was practically rolling around on the floor.

“She fell in love with you?” Mycroft affirmed and Sherlock nodded. “And you fell in love with this?”

He gestures to the girl who was still giggling and Sherlock nods again, a smile present on his face.

“Even though she’s brighter than the both of us combined? I’m surprised, brother.”

“I’ve simply found someone who can keep up, and who I strive to keep up to.”

“Point taken.”

“Has your ego been hurt enough?”

“Yes, for the first time in a while.”

“Good. And has the brother approved?”

Mycroft takes one more look at the girl.

“He has approved.”

*****

Thank you so much for reading! Requests are open so if you have any, please feel free to drop some in my inbox!

The Barman

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Summary: Stiles got a new job as a barman to work his way through college. (Y/N) has just turned 21; as soon as her eyes landed on Stiles, she became fascinated by him.

A/N: Little makeout scene, arse squeezing; nothing that people don’t know about. Requests are open!

Originally posted by hothothotgg

There were two dresses to choose from; where you going to go with the sexy black dress or the red dress that made you look ten years older? “(Y/N), I think the black one.” Your best friend, Isadora, muttered before going back to curling her hair. You had your hair curled, and make up done to perfection – you loved doing make up and now that you were twenty-one, you were excited to go out to the bar on the college campus.

“The black one it is,” You mused, slipping out of your nightie and squeezing into the dress. “Damn, girl. I’m going to have to beat the lads off you tonight.” You giggled slightly, blushing as she complimented you; you couldn’t deny it but you did look great – the dress made all your assets stick out perfectly.

Isadora was a natural beauty, she had the perfect blonde hair that always had volume, straight pearl white teeth and a tan. She still did her make-up and she looked more stunning than ever. “Says the one,” You replied, teasing her as she shimmied into a gold jumpsuit pairing it with a pair of black heels. You had red heels on that matched your lipstick, “Let’s get going,” You cheered making your way to the taxi; not before double checking your appearance.

“I’ll go and get drinks,” You shouted over the loud music inside the bar, which was more of a night club. Izzie nodded, before you separated – her going to get a booth. You leaned over the bar, trying to get the barman’s attention who was an extremely handsome looking man. Tall; check. Brown eyes; check. Brown hair; check. You looked at him with admiration and you knew if he was on the other side of the bar, you’d start chatting him up. “How can I help you?” A massive grin covered your face as his eyes met yours, “Two vodkas, one red bull and one sprite.” The order fell off your tongue with ease; you and Izzie have been best friends since high school and it was always the same alcohol that you drank together. “Coming right up,” He winked, causing your heart to melt.

As he walked away, you tried to fixed your dress and made sure that your twins were the perfect shape. You looked down the long bar to see that all the females were doing the same, their eyes following ever move that this man made – some even had, what you assumed, were their boyfriends with them. “Here you go, love.” He smiled, placing the drinks in front of you. You shoved the twenty dollars note in his direction but he declined, “On the house.” You blushed and muttered a thank you before grabbing the drinks and finding Isadora who was in the company of two men.

“(Y/N),” She squealed grabbing her vodka and sprite, “This is Cameron and Jason – they’re both studying medicine.” You raised your eyebrow impressed by their studies but not by their looks. Cameron was bleached blonde, obviously dyed with a horrific tan line. Jason was on the prettier side reaching about 6’4, muscular and bright blue eyes. “Nice to meet you,” You shouted over the music, taking a sip of the drink through the straw.

Jason was chatting in your ear about the college and the party life but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the stranger behind the bar. “Do you know him?” You suddenly cut Jason off before nodding over to the barman. He laughed and nodded, “Stiles Stilinski, he’s been working here for a few months now.” Stiles… You couldn’t help but fascinate over the name, it was odd but it suited him. “Do you want a drink?” You asked Izzie who had a full glass sitting in front of her, she shot you a weird look before turning her attention back to Cameron. Your shoulders shrunk as you downed the rest of your drink – it was your fourth one. This will be your fifth time going back up to the bar, you were too tipsy to even be embarrassed. “I’ll be back,” You muttered to no one in particular.

You took a seat on a vacant stool, waiting to get Stiles attention. There were two other barmaids working but you chose the seat closer to where he was cleaning down the counter. It was getting late, probably around one am. The bar was slowly emptying so there wasn’t much of a line. “What can I get you?” He asked, before looking up and pausing. “Vodka and red bull?” He asked chuckling slightly, your cheeks reddened as you nodded, “Please.” You shouted after him, as he went to the fridge to get a can of red bull. He placed the drink in front of you, taking the note you handed him and putting it in the till. You didn’t want to move from your spot, you looked back at your friend to see her enjoying the company of Cameron - Jason nowhere to be seen.

“Stiles,” The brown eyed beauty yelled over the music, his hand coming towards you and you shook it without hesitation, “(Y/N).” He nodded, a smile on his face. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“I just turned twenty-one.” You grinned with excitement, your leg bouncing on the foot rest. You didn’t want to say anything stupid, so you were beyond nervous. “Can I get a beer?” A deep voice yelled from beside you, Stiles nodded before smiling at you apologetically and getting back to work. You sighed as you stood up from the stool and began your way back to Izzie.

A song by Drake came on causing you to squeal and pull your best friend to the dance floor – Cameron and Jason following. Jason placed his hands on your hip as you grinded against him, not caring that you barely knew him. You sang the lyrics at the top of your vocals, raising your hands in the air. Peeking at the bar, you spotted Stiles looking in your direction – his elbows resting on the counter top. You smiled at him before tearing yourself away from Jason’s hold, walking towards the bar.

“Fancy seeing you here,” You teased, sitting on the stool in front of Stiles. “You’ve had about eight vodkas (Y/N), how are you not vomiting?” He laughed, wiping down the counter one last time before peeling off his apron. You blushed and looked away embarrassed, not wanting to admit that you’ve only drank three of the vodkas that you purchased from him – the rest laying untouched on the table.

“I’m a heavy weight,” You laughed, “Are you finished?” He nodded and waved goodbye to the girls who were continuing their shift. “Do you want a lift home?” You looked at him with wide eyes, “I’m not a serial killer,” He found it ironic since he was doing criminal justice. You glanced back at Izzie, who was making out with Cameron on the dance floor before nodding. “Please.”

You texted Isadora quickly, knowing that she would be safe and she hasn’t drunk as much tonight before following Stiles out the backdoor. “Have a good night?” He asked, you shrugged, “The best part was meeting you.” You flirted, cringing as soon as the words left your mouth. “I did notice that you were awfully fond of me.” He chuckled, you liked how he had a sense of confidence about himself but it wasn’t too overloaded like Jason. “Well, you are gorgeous.” You mused, leaning against his car door.

His eyebrows raised as he stood in front of you, one hand resting beside your head. He was taller than you but not too tall and he had blatantly obvious muscles that girls must fawn over. “Tell me, (Y/N), how many drinks did you actually have tonight?” He bit his lip, looking down at your red stained ones before meeting your eyes. “Three,” You replied honestly and he laughed, the sound was like music to your ears. “Cute,” He mumbled, leaning closer to you.

Your heart rate picked up and your eyes fluttered closed just as his lips met yours. The kiss was soft at first, him pulling away after one second but you pulled him closer by wrapping your arms around his neck. He licked your bottom lip, begging for an entrance which you granted. You’ve been waiting all night to feel this sensation, and you never wanted it to stop. You pulled him down closer, causing him to let out a moan of pleasure.

He moved his hand down the fabric of your dress, before reaching the hem of the skirt just below your arse. He squeezed the cheeks before resting them on the back of your thigh, lifting you up with ease. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he walked over to the bonnet of the car, resting out on top of it. He kissed down your neck, you let your head fall back giving him more access.

The back door of the bar opened, a young man coming out with garbage bags which causing Stiles to pull away from you. “Should we take this somewhere?” You asked, sitting up on the bonnet, still close to his body. He nodded and helped you down, opening the passenger side door for you. “Thank you.”

You gave him directions to your shared apartment which was only a five-minute drive away. The drive was quiet with a slightly awkward aura floating around in the car. He pulled up outside the building before turning to face you, “I don’t think I should come in.” He muttered, not looking you in the eye. Your shoulders faltered and a frown covered your face. “I’m not that type of guy,” He continued, you nodded understanding where he was coming from. “How about I give you my number? I’d love to meet up for a coffee or a drink.” You said to him, grabbing a pen from the glove box and asking for his hand, where you wrote digits down. “Definitely.” He mumbled, trying to keep calm. Y

ou leaned in and pecked him on the lips, “Goodnight Stiles,” You left his car and began walking up to the front of the building.Turning to face him, you let out a laugh as you saw he fist bumped the air. His eyes widened when he seen that you saw that and he gave an embarrassed wave in which you replied with blowing a kiss in his direction.

escape (the pina colada song)

Just a little S7, CS drabble that’s vaguely spoilery for Regina and Killian’s new Seattle identities and jobs but nothing beyond that, and assumes Killian is cursed with no memory of Emma.


Monday is Pina Colada Night at Roni’s, when the bartenders wear plastic flower leis and serve $3 drink specials to help drum up business on the slowest night of the week.

John Rogers hates rum, hates bars, but he gets dragged along with the 8 p.m shift change that is as predictable as the tide. Clock out, change from uniform to civilian clothes, and go get shitfaced. Wednesdays at the Irish pub for Guinness and darts, Fridays at that place with a DJ and dancefloor and girls who liked cops (in that way that just makes him vaguely ill), and Mondays at Roni’s.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hi! i just recently got into shipping jeddy and i've read all of your awesome fics (allll of them! so good!!!). i was wondering if you could point me in the direction of other jeddy fic writers/blogs. i know it's probably not that popular, but i'm obsessing and i need more, and since it's your fault i thought i'd ask you ;)

Ohh, thank you so much! Hello and welcome to Jeddy :D Can I just say I am so okay with this being my fault! 

I’ve been meaning to start reccing Jeddy + Next gen, so this is totally the perfect incentive to get my arse into gear and get that happening. In the meantime though, YES, I can point you in the direction of some awesome people!

For blogs and writers, I would totally recommend you to check out (if you haven’t already): 

@gracerene09 - because she is an amazing writer (seriously, read her Jeddy fics), and an awesome reccer of Jeddy and Next Gen content. Check out this rec list for James/Teddy fics. 

@mxlfoydraco - is super lovely and a brilliant person to talk Jeddy with, and also has this rec list which is full of amazing Jeddy stories. 

@writcraft - is an amazing writer (if you haven’t already read their stories, then I can’t recommend them highly enough). 

@goldentruth813 - is an awesome Jeddy supporter and writer and their enthusiasm and encouragement and love for the ship is amazing. 

And some writers who aren’t on tumblr (or who aren’t super active on here) which I would totally recommend checking out are: 

@ruinsplume - who writes them amazingly well (and check out their wolfstar/ other ships, because they’re so good). (on Ao3 here)

@llaeyro - who is a gift to rarepairs and whose Jeddy stories I love. (on Ao3 here)

Mindabbles - one of my all time fave Jeddy writers, as well as crossgen and rarepairs. The Feel of It remains one of my favourite Jeddy stories ever <3

Iamisaac - is such a good writer, and their James/Teddy fics are amazing. Definitely check them out, run don’t walk. 

Snegurochka - I’m just obsessed with this writer, and the ships they write. I would basically recommend all of them, forever, so do check out their Jeddy stories if you’re inclined!

Hope this tides you over, anon!!!

I had yet another cliché fic idea last night (which I think I sent to @gudegudeland??) but anyway basically :

  • When Newt first comes to work at MACUSA, he and Graves can’t bear each other
  • they can much less work together
  • “too wild and disorganized” Graves says. “He’ll put us all in danger!”
  • “he has a stick up his arse,” Newt sneers in response, privately. “boring old man.”
  • The president is super tired of their childish behavior
  • So she summons them both to her office
  • They can’t even look at each other
  • She sighs
  • Waves her hand
  • And suddenly they are chained together by the wrist
  • “What is this?” Graves says while Newt pales considerably.
  • “Dismissed. I won’t take the handcuff away until I think you’ve learnt your lesson.”
  • “What lesson is that?!”
  • “Act like adults for once. Dismissed.”
  • So here they are
  • Chained together
  • Graves can’t enjoy a smoke without Newt grimacing in his face
  • Newt can’t even tend to his creatures without Graves trailing after him and making undignified scared noises
  • Worse, they have to live together
  • Sleep together
  • Bathe together
  • “IT’S JUST A BODILY REACTION TO HAVING YOU THIS CLOSE TO ME”
  • “DO NOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR MORNING HARD ON, OLD MAN”
  • “WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD YOU PIMP”
  • #sexual tension
  • But also
  • They talk
  • They get to know each other
  • Their opinions change
  • Respect grows
  • So do feelings
  • They fall in love
  • Of course both of them think it’s unrequited
  • Until Graves, or Newt, says fuck it and kisses the other
  • The president takes the chain away
  • Because now they’re holding hands most of the time anyway
  • The end
  • ❤️

i would say ‘someone stop me’ but i don’t think i want to stop? ao3 link

Summary: Liam has a confession to make.

Three Words

Sara’s setting a ground rule. They’re not going to have sex in the sand. It’s unpleasant enough when the sand is a known quantity, but up until recently, this world was irradiated and Sara has not come this far to get radioactive sand in places where it definitely should not be.

Still. The feeling of Liam’s body beneath her almost wants her to throw caution to the wind. But only almost.  When Liam smiles up at her, it takes her one step closer to changing her mind. “I’ve noticed something,” he starts, a hand on her hip as though it belongs there. (It does.)

Keep reading

Mrs. Brown, the Headmistress, cannot conceal her proud whilst  she carefully observes how Miss Miller, the young teacher who joined the teachers staff only a couple of months ago, is delivering her first real caning to one of her pupils.

Since the first lesson in caning Mrs. Brown taught to her, she knew this young teacher had a gift for corporal punishment.
The way she firmly grasped the cane, her agile swing, her wrist touch… after a few lessons, she hitted so hard, that even ruined one cushions they used as target to practice.

Now in her first real test, there she is.
She has perfectly measured the distance from the bent boy’s bottom, she has softly tapped his arse with the end of the cane twice and now, she is ready to start.
OMG, what a nice touch, she even takes her heels off to get a better and firmer swing!

There she goes now:
- The first stroke just in the middel of the buttocks, perfect!
- Second one, a bit lower, right in place, very well!
- The third one just in the lowest part of his cheeks. Oh, the boy starts to yell, this goes well.
- The fourth stroke just in the crease where the buttocks join the thighs. Oh my gosh, that grunt sounds like music to my ears.
- She aims patiently before the fifth stroke. The boy is trembling in fear. There it goes, exactly in the same sweet spot, just like the previous one!
Are those tears what I am seeing on the boy’s face?

Let’s she what she has in store for the final one. She takes her time again…
- There it goes, right on the crease again for the third time in a row! That’s really cruel!
As a result there is a broken boy kneeling on the floor, crying like a baby as clanching his own buttocks like if his life depending on it.

What an excellent work has Miss Miller done! I will have to promote her soon.

Hardship (2)

Well, I’ve decided that I liked it enough and could fight through the heaviness of the whole fic plot to at least write a second part. As I stated previously, it’s reminiscent of Life As We Know It, so even if it ends up quite a bit different, it’s still somewhat of a cross-over. 

Anyway, I’m tagging this for potential smut and stuff. (I srsly feel so cringey that ya’ll are subjected to this!!) You know the deal, be an adult to read this. Also, warning - mentions death.

This is 4500 words guys, so you better enjoy it xx 

(I know everyone might be waiting on Plus One, but it’ll be posted eventually.)

@towongfu2 @celestev31 @milymargot @jackiewalsh2013 @annemarieted @kneekeyta @kingbeeyonce @fuck-sewing-machine @irish-girl-84 @mmfdfanfic @mykuhkors @i-dream-of-emus @rhi3915 @lovinglifeandlivinglove @mirandasmadeofstone @nutinanutshell @voodoomarie @tinakegg @rockinthebeastmode @protectfinnnelson @hey1tskat1e @eveerez @workinggirl101 @likeashootingstarfades @raeonashadowcaster @arathewallflower @lilaviolet @bitchy-broken @bitchesbecrazy89 @thatfunnygirllauren @emmatationsforall @lurkernolonger @lily-pop-2 @mallyallyandra @l88cym

Avery throws his bowl on the floor in front of his highchair, startling Rae and Finn who are both sat at the table in front of him.

Finn chuckles lowly as he scoops the bowl up and places it out of Avery’s reach. “Avery,” he scolds, the tip of his index finger stroking Avery’s cheek.

“Do you really think you’re up for this?” Rae asks, getting up from her seat to get a towel to clean the floor of mashed carrots. She scoops the carrots into a pile, doing her best not to smear them further as she waits for Finn’s answer.

Finn is clearly annoyed by her question, his smile falling and his posture straightening in his chair. “Me? Why are you doubting me? ”

Rae shrugs in reply, throwing the mashed carrots into the bin. “Well, you don’t really have a normal job with normal hours, do you?”

“I’m a DJ, Rae, I’ve got a regular slot. It’s no less normal than yours.”

“I have a coffee shop, Finn. It’s obviously not the same thing,” she scoffs, waving him off as he tries to hand Avery to her.

“Rae, we’ve already decided that Rick’s sister weren’t right for Avery. We haven’t got much choice here.” Finn dips forward at the waist, trying to get Avery to grab onto Rae.

Her arms cross just below her chest, closed off from taking Avery from him. “I’m not changing his wet nappy every time he’s got one.”

Finn hikes Avery higher up on his side, his shirt trailing along with it and exposing a bit of his stomach.

Rae is distracted for a moment by the flash of skin, unknowingly staring. Her arms drop to her sides, giving Finn an in.

Finn must notice the direction of her gaze as he steps closer to her, a little swivel in his hips. “Tell you wha’, you change this one and I’ll get the next,” he drawls, his free hand lightly touching her forearm.

Her eyes drop to his hand on her forearm and she yanks her arm back as if scalded. “Don’t.”

“Rae, come on, I were only touching your arm.”

“Who knows where that hand has been,” she says, wiping her arm against her jeans in a show of revulsion.

“Just a couple o’ pairs of knickers,” he jokes, his voice shaking with mirth.

“You’re horrible,” she tells him, peeling Avery from his side and taking him to his bedroom.

“Rae,” Finn groans from where she’s left him, “I were only joking.”

“It’s not worth the fight,” she chants quietly to herself as she walks. What a twat.

Finn joins her in Avery’s bedroom as she’s putting a clean nappy on, the wet nappy still sitting on the chest of drawers. “Are you nearly finished?” he asks, moving to her side.

She imagines she looks a bit like that possessed girl from The Exorcist with how fast her head spins in his direction. “Think you can move any faster?” she challenges. She moves to the side and out of Finn’s way, her hand pointing at Avery as she says, “be my guest.”

“Do you really think we can manage this, raising a child?” Rae asks from behind Finn as he gets to work. “We can barely stand each other.”

She won’t look at him as he contemplates his answer, she doesn’t want to see the change in his stance, the very poorly hidden fear. She’s already fearful enough for the both of them.

The doorbell rings before he can answer, sending Rae after it to see who’s stopped by. They aren’t expecting anyone. Everyone that had come up for the funeral had already left yesterday.

She’s halfway down the stairs when she hears Finn yelling from Avery’s bedroom, “he’s just weed all over me shirt!”

She’s nearly bent all the way forward from laughing as she answers the door. She’s met with a number of unfamiliar faces all looking in at her like she might be going mad. She straightens herself out, holding onto the doorframe to pull herself up. “Sorry sorry, just had a bit of a changing mishap.”

The crowd standing outside all smile knowingly as she explains.

“Who are you lot?” Finn inquires from behind Rae as he comes down the stairs with Avery.

Rae is quite sure she hears a drawn out collective sigh from the group when they spot him. She wants to roll her eyes but she refrains.

The small red-headed woman at the front of the group titters. “Oh how rude of us.” She points to each person with her, introducing them to Rae and Finn.

“Izzy, Chop, Chloe, Todd, Archie, Barney,” Rae repeats to herself under her breath, trying to ensure she’ll remember their names. “I’m Rae, and this is Finn,” she introduces.

“Come in.” Rae ushers them all into the house. “Sorry it’s such a mess.”

The group piles into the dining room, all taking seats around the table. Finn gives Rae a look over their heads as he makes his way around the table to take a seat at her side. He doesn’t understand why these people are here either.

Izzy pushes a casserole dish towards Rae. “I’ve brought you dinner. Chloe and Archie have done the same.” She points to the two additional dishes in front of Chloe and Archie respectively. “Thought maybe you could use it.” Her gaze moves to Avery who is currently attached to Finn and unwilling to look at any of the visitors.

“We were so sorry to hear about Elle and Rick,” Izzy explains, her hand reaching out to cover Rae’s. “We were wonderin’ who might be looking after little Avery.”

“Izzy and Archie saw Finn running this morning, so we figured maybe Elle or Rick’s brother might be here taking care of Avery,” Chloe tells them, her eyes darting to Finn and then back to Rae.

“No wonder they’ve been squawking about coming over and paying yous a visit,” Chop pipes up from behind Izzy. He hasn’t taken a seat like the rest of them, instead he’s pacing from one end of the table to the other. He finally stops across the table from Finn, breaking out into a grin. “You sure are a handsome bastard, aren’t ya?”

Izzy looks up at Chop, her cheeks are aflame and her eyes are wide. “Chop!”

Chop makes his way back to Izzy and bends down to place a kiss against her cheek, whispering a fraction too loud, “it’s alright babygirl, you know a good lookin’ fella when ya see one.”

Rae turns from their interaction to look at Finn. Finn is smiling in the direction of the couple, clearly happy with his new status of neighborhood hottie.

She can’t help the groan that slips out, it’s loud and a bit over the top and causes everyone to turn to her. “It’s just…you’re giving him a bigger head than he’s already got.” She moves her hands to either side of her head, inching them further from her head and outward to demonstrate just how big Finn Nelson’s head is.

Barney and Todd laugh into their hands as they watch her, Barney stopping to ask, “are you two not together?”

Finn’s laugh is a little too boisterous for Rae’s liking. “No way, no way in hell,” Finn answers.

Rae turns in her seat to glare at him. “Well don’t say it like that, Finn. Like you’re too good for me!”

It’s Archie who speaks up across the table next, “there has to be a story here, right? Two people don’t just despise each other like this for no reason, especially not when they’re raising a baby together.”

“Oh there’s a story alright.”

Rae grasps the door in front of her and pulls it open. The pub is dimly lit, the smell of cigarette smoke lingers in the air and the sound of some awful indie band assaults her ears as she walks in.

She spots her date before he notices her and she’s glad that she does. She thinks about not going through with it, Elle can’t be mad at her for bailing on Rick’s mate - not when he’s this fit.

Dear Lord he is handsome, with his leather jacket and perfectly coiffed locks, a cigarette dangling from his lips - he bloody looks like he stepped off the cover of Q magazine.

She takes a deep breath and forces herself forward and further into the pub. She pulls at her dress as she walks towards him, hoping that it’s sitting right against her body. She wills him not to look her way as she’s too afraid that she’ll lose her confidence and run once their eyes meet.

When he finally looks up she’s nearly to his table. He catches her gaze and gives her an approving nod, his eyes roaming over her figure. She doesn’t know why, but she stops to let him look.

A lazy grin pulls at the corner of his lips when she pulls up the seat across from him.

“Hiya,” she squeaks, pulling at the hem of the dress as she sits.

“Rae?” he inquires, his eyes focused on her thighs as her dress inches higher and she has to yank it back down.

She leans forward and tilts her head to catch his attention again, bring it back to somewhere above the waist. “That’s me. I imagine you’re Finn?”

He nods. “So, Rae, you want a drink?” he offers, getting up from his seat.

“I’d love a snakebite.”

She watches him at the bar, his back facing her as he waits for her drink. She lets her eyes wander over him, stopping on his perfect arse.

She counts at least three other women eyeing him up while he waits, but he seems completely oblivious. She can’t tell if he’s unaware of just how fit he is or whether he’s so used to the attention that he pays them no mind.

He shoots her a smile over his shoulder when he notices her watching, turning back to grab her drink and pay the bartender before coming back to their table. She appreciates the fact that he doesn’t talk to any of the women that so clearly want his attention as he comes back to her.

She quickly sips at her snakebite to hide her smile.

“Good?” he questions before taking a sip from his own glass.

“Great, thanks.”

“So, Rae,” he speaks softly, leaning forward on his elbows on the table, “why do ya think Rick and Elle were so keen on us meetin’?

“I reckon they just want someone to go on double dates with,” she jokes, shrugging her shoulders.

“Reckon you might be right.” Finn takes another drink from his pint, watching Rae over the rim. “What do you think of this song playing, Rae?” he asks. Undoubtedly this is a test.

Her mouth pulls to the side as she thinks through her answer. She thinks she saw him bobbing his head to the song when he had first sat down, but she can’t lie - not about music anyway. “I think it’s crap.”

The grin he gives her tells her that it’s the right answer, but an answer he wasn’t expecting. “You don’t like this mainstream crap?”

She shakes her head vehemently. “Hate it. Elle made me listen to Backstreet Boys all throughout College and I’m pretty sure my hearing still isn’t right.”

He laughs at that, the grin still plastered on.

She leans in a bit closer to him, trying to speak loudly enough to be heard over the music. “What do you do for a living, Finn?”

“I dj at a club nearby called Venom. Ever heard of it?”

She’s heard of it alright, she and Elle had gone there a few times in the past. It was a really popular nightclub downtown. “I’ve been there before. I wonder if you were djing any of those nights?”

“Doubt it,” he tells her, looking her over again, “woulda remembered you.”

The pink hue that has undoubtedly spread across her cheeks is embarrassing and she quickly moves her hands to cover her face.“Leave it to a DJ to be that smooth,” she teases, pressing her fingers against her cheekbones.

His left eyebrow quirks up just a little bit higher than his right as he scoots his seat a bit closer, a challenging smile on his mouth. “I’m positive I woulda remembered ya.”

She’s quick to change the subject, give herself a break from blushing for five minutes. “What about you? What kind of music do you like?”

She watches his hand sweep through his hair as she takes a sip of her snakebite, waiting for him. She can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips when she spots the tuft of hair standing up at the side of his head.

“I’m a bit stuck in the 90s if I’m honest. There’s nothin’ like listening to Morrissey after a long night at the club playing all that top 40s bullshit.”

She’s intrigued by his answer, especially since she’s quite a fan of 90s rock herself. “Favorite Primal Scream song?”

He’s quick to answer, “

Kowalski, hands down.” He slams his hand down on the table in front of them, making Rae jump and the glasses wobble on the table.

“Jesus, someone is a BIG fan of Primal Scream,” she jokes, grabbing her drink to steady it.

Finn reaches across the table, his thumb sweeping across Rae’s inner wrist. “Sorry ‘bout tha’. I get really into me music,” he apologizes, chuckling.

The warmth from his skin on hers sends a jolt straight to her nether regions and she flinches away from his touch. He looks shocked by her reaction and she finds herself apologizing for her response, her hand reaching forward to squeeze his.

From there their conversation flows nicely, no awkward silences, no stilted dialogue - just a regular chat with a fit bloke who knows even more about music than she does. They discuss new albums they both want, their friendships with Rick and Elle, they even touch on their current relationship status. She’s starting to understand why Rick and Elle might have matched them up.

“Somehow…some way…the worst women always find me,” he tells her, his head falling forward into his palms. He shakes his head in his hands, groaning.

“When was your last relationship?” she asks and Finn’s head shoots up.

“I uh…” he trails off, rubbing at the back of his neck, “it were over a couple of months ago.”

“Was it serious?” She wants to know. Maybe he isn’t ready to start something new and she’d just wasting her time trying it on with him.

He shrugs. “I thought so.”

They sit in silence for a moment before he asks her, “what about you, Rae? Why are you single?”

“Don’t know really. I guess….well, I guess I don’t pick the best out of the bunch,” she explains, her fingers flexing against the tabletop.

“No?” he questions, eyes trained on hers as she speaks.

She shakes her head. “God no. Just ask Elle, she’ll tell ya.”

Finn doesn’t push the topic any further, satisfied that she’s told him enough for today.  

The alcohol coursing through her bloodstream tells her that more alcohol is the answer to be sure to avoid this topic further.

“That’s it, I’m getting us another shot.” She’s out of her seat before he can protest.

He greets her with a smile when she returns with four shots in hand, placing them on the table between them. Throughout the course of the night her chair has inched closer and closer to his and right now their legs are nearly touching they’re so close.

He tilts his body towards her, his mouth close to her ear when he whispers, “truth or dare?”

She’s mortified by the high-pitched giggle that comes tumbling out at his suggestion, her hand going to cover her mouth. When he doesn’t say anything further she turns to look at him, curious about his silence. “You’re joking.”

His mischievous grin tells her he isn’t. He repeats himself, “truth or dare?”

She swallows back a comment about them being adults and answers, “truth.”

“Why do you really think we’ve been set up?”

She shrugs.

“Rae.”

“We’re similar, aren’t we? But I think it’s because you’re very kind, you know your music, and….you’re stupidly fit,” she tells him, taking a shot from the middle of the table and throwing it back. “I figure Elle thought I’d end up fancyin’ you. She’s probably right.”

He smirks. Her answer seems to have pleased him. His elbow bumps against hers on the table, prompting her to ask him next.

“Truth or dare?” she asks, her elbow bumping back against his.

“Truth.”

“What about you, why do you think we’ve been set up?”

“I reckon you’re right about them thinking we’re quite similar. I’ve never met a girl that’s into music like you.”

“Well I -”

He cuts her off, “I’ve not finished, Rae.” His hand moves to cover hers on the table. “You’re very sexy, Rae.” He’s not deterred by her scoff, continuing, “really beautiful. I imagine Rick thought I might end up fancyin’ ya.”

She’s mesmerized by the way his throat contracts as he swallows his shot after he’s spoken.

His fingers flex against her palm as he tugs her hand closer to him on the tabletop. “Truth or dare?”

She hopes she doesn’t live to regret this. “Dare,” she whispers, eyes meeting his.

His stare moves from her eyes, flickering to her lips for a moment before looking down at their joined hands. “I’d - I’d dare ya to kiss me, but I don’t want ya to kiss me only ‘cause of a dare.”

Her hand squeezes his, her eyes glued to the top of his head as he continues to look at their hands. “Finn.”

“Yeah, Rae?” he asks, his head lifting for a moment.

She only needs that small moment to move the few inches it takes to touch her lips to his. The kiss is tender and quick and leaves her head feeling buzzy (it could be the shot, but it’s doubtful).

Finn watches her as she pulls back, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. “Do you mind if we try that again?” he asks, inching closer until their legs are now touching.

“Maybe we should–” n’t, she wants to say, but he kisses her before she can answer fully, his tongue touching hers while one hand cups her jaw and the other latches onto her waist.

He’s phenomenal with his mouth and her hands soon find their way into his hair, weaving her fingers though the locks at the back of his head.

Their mouths only separate long enough for him to demand, “come back to mine.”

She’s quick to acquiesce, grabbing onto his hand as he pulls her from the pub behind him.

The air outside is significantly cooler than earlier and she’s shivering as soon as they step out the door. Finn immediately pulls her to his side, tucking her under his arm and securing her against his warmth.

They don’t get far before he’s pressing her up against the brick of a storefront and kissing at her neck, telling her how much he wants her. She believes him. She can feel his growing desire for her pressed up against her stomach as his leg slips between hers.

A catcall coming from across the road has the pair pulling apart. They share a bashful smile before continuing their journey to Finn’s flat. The air feels thick around them, heavy with their need for each other.

Their shoes are off as soon as they’re inside the flat and his hands are back on her soon after.

She doesn’t have a chance to look around though, Finn covering her mouth with his as he shuts the door behind them, his hand roving down the front of her dress and slipping under the hem.

His hand pauses on her inner thigh. “Tell me you want this, Rae,” he requests, voice low against her throat before he tastes her skin.

She whimpers low in her throat, “I want you,” she tells him. She pushes the straps of her dress down her arms and then does the same with her bra to drive the statement home.

She can feel his lips lift into a smile against her neck before he descends to her nipples, mouth wet against her, causing her to arch her back against him.

With his mouth latched to her he eases her backwards through a door which she assumes is his bedroom. When the back of her legs hit the edge of his bed she falls onto the mattress and he detaches himself to look at her.

Rae moves her hands to cover herself, suddenly squeamish with the thought of him seeing all of her, all the pale skin only covered by a flimsy pair of knickers and her dress bunched up just below her breasts.

He pulls her hands from her body, consuming her with his eyes as he does. “So sexy,” he reassures her, his thumb circling her nipple.

Rae’s arms fall to her sides, opening herself up to him. His words don’t transform her, no, but they do give her the confidence she needs to enjoy this.

He soon replaces his thumb with his mouth, tasting her again before continuing his journey down to her navel, nipping at her curves as he goes. Finn makes quick work of her knickers, pulling them down her long legs.

Rae can’t help but question the brilliance of letting their desire and the influence of the alcohol the pair have consumed potentially damage what could be a good match.

She contemplates addressing this fear out loud, but upon the sight of Finn nestling himself between her thighs she pushes the thoughts from her mind. Why can’t they enjoy this now and still be perfectly suited for each other?

He pushes at her inner thighs with his elbows until she’s spread out before him and he dips his head to devour her. Every coherent thought she’d had goes out the window with each touch of his skillful tongue.

“Oh lord, oh lord jesus christ, oh…” Rae twists the sheets in her fist until her fingers are turning white. “Finn, I’m–” Her cry pierces the air, but Finn doesn’t stop until she’s pulling at his hair.

She’s still trembling from her orgasm when he kisses his way back up her body until he reaches her mouth, pushing his tongue in while he frees himself from his trousers. She laughs when he nearly teeters off the bed, grabbing onto his shoulder to prevent his fall.

“S'not funny,” he grumbles before he takes her mouth again, cutting off her retort. He manages to rid himself of his remaining clothing, having to only separate once to toss his shirt to the floor.

“Itwashilarious,” she mumbles, biting at his lower lip while she positions herself underneath him.

He stills for a moment above her, looking down at her like he’s got something to say.

When he doesn’t speak, she inquires, “what is–” and then he’s inside of her and she can’t speak. She tries, managing a couple “FinAHs,” until he picks up the pace of his thrusts and she’s a whimpering mess.

“Feel good?” He smiles down at her as he pulls her hips up a little higher.

She somehow manages to meet his fervor, pushing as he does. “It’s alright…”

“Oh I’ll bloody show you alright,” he growls, sitting up to kneel between her legs and grabbing at her thighs as he buries himself deeper.

It’s not long before she can’t take it anymore, granting him the release he’s been chasing from her, spasming against him.

By the look on his face, Finn is surprised to find his own release so soon after, riding out his orgasm with long strokes that leave the pair entirely sated.

Rae is happy to discover that he doesn’t ask her to leave, nor does he turn his back to her and fall asleep. Instead, he pulls her to him, kisses the tip of her nose and they drift off to sleep wrapped in each other’s embrace.

She sleeps a dreamless sleep, only stirring due to an exorbitant amount of noise coming from the front of Finn’s flat. She wakes to find the bed empty, but the place where Finn had been is still warm, so he must not have gotten up much before her.

It’s the shouting that comes from the other room that rouses her further. She hurriedly gets up to get dressed, clasping her bra and pulling her dress over her head. She tucks her underwear in her purse and does a quick check in the mirror to make sure she doesn’t look too terrible.

She wipes the eyeliner that’s run underneath her eye, somehow managing to smear it further. However, she doesn’t get a chance to address it further, as an unfamiliar voice shouts from the other room, pulling her attention from the task at hand.

Rae sneaks to the doorway of Finn’s bedroom and peers out into his lounge. She finds a slightly disheveled Finn with his hair askew. He’s only in his boxers with his back facing her, his front facing a rather pretty girl with long blonde hair.

She squeaks when the girl’s eyes land on her, backing into the room and out of sight.

“I’ve seen you already, slag!” the girl shouts.

“Don’t call her that, Rebecca!” Finn yells back.

She doesn’t have much choice in the matter, so she puts a brave face on and steps out into the lounge to face this completely awkward situation.“Hiya.” Rae waves at the girl.

In an unexpected turn, the girl, Rebecca, starts laughing. “Are you serious, Finn? You’ve gone from me to this complete minger?”

“Rebecca,” Finn growls, putting himself between the two women.“You’ve got no right to be here and you’ve got no right to talk to Rae like tha’.”

Rebecca waves him off, stepping to the side of him to get a good look at Rae.

Rae’s arms immediately encircle her body, attempting to hide herself from Rebecca’s perusal of her appearance.

“Come on, Finn. It’s only been a couple of days. Why stoop to bedding that when you can have this?” Rebecca asks, her hands running over her own body.

“A couple of days?” Rae whispers, not realizing she’s asked out loud.

Rebecca holds out two fingers in front of her. “Two to be exact,” she confirms.

Finn turns to Rae then, hands reaching out to her. “Rae, it’s not like tha’, it’s been over–”

She stops him, her hand held out to keep him out of arm’s reach. “No, no it’s fine, Finn. Had a bit of fun, didn’t we?” She makes her way across the room, unable to look at either of the other two people in the room. “Reckon it’s time for me to go. See ya later,” she calls, pulling on her shoes.

“Rae, wait,” Finn calls after her as she passes through the door, taking his stairs two at a time until she’s out to the street. 

**** I realized that I may have a problem when it comes to story lines around meeting at a bar and then gettin’ it on. This is how people get it on A LOT these days, so it’s p. accurate. 

DONT JUDGE ME 😬
Old Wounds - Chapter Five

previous

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before he knocked on the door of his parents’ suite. Dad was going to be pissed that he had left early without saying goodbye, and Mum would be disappointed in him, which was worse. His entire body ached from sleeping on the sofa. At some point while cuddling Gigi he’d fallen asleep. When he’d woken up she was gone and he’d barely had time to take a quick shower and throw on clean clothes before this brunch appointment with the family. He pushed his worries about Gigi out of his head, took an instant to check buttons and zippers, and then knocked.

A few moments later, Juniper opened the door.

“You’re early,” he said, not hiding the surprise in his voice. He still wasn’t used to Juniper coming to family events, though she’d been around more in the last year than she had for the several previous ones. And he couldn’t remember the last time she had been early to anything.

“You’re late,” she replied, turning away from the door, “but Gemma’s not here yet, so you should escape unscathed.”

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bellamyblake  asked:

Thank you for existing. 💗 send this to 10 people that you think that deserve a sweet and kind message in their inbox 💕 (it's aarondingel)

I love you Sweetie! I might have been inspired by the ask ;)

Count it Down

Robert came into the backroom to find Liv sitting at the kitchen table. He watched as she threw her pen down and folded her arms across her chest.

“What are you doing?” Robert asked sitting down opposite from her.

“We have to make a list of our ten favourite people, the ones we couldn’t or rather wouldn’t want to live without, but so far I’ve only got seven people on my list and most of those I’d miss but I could totally live without if I had to. There are probably only two I wouldn’t want to live without,” Liv said ducking her head.

“Your mum and Aaron, right?” Robert asked wondering why she seemed embarrassed about it.

Liv actually blushed and tried to change the subject, “Do you have ten favourite people?”

Robert let his question go unanswered. “I don’t think I actually even know ten people who like me, let alone ten I couldn’t live without. I do have probably three that I wouldn’t want to be without, maybe four,” he replied realising that this probably wasn’t the best exercise for people like them. People with shit pasts, who came from broken homes and were more likely to bite you than be kind.  It was a wonder anyone loved them, but then they both had Aaron. Even though Aaron had been through the same things as them, worse still, he was the kind of person who would struggle to have only ten people on his list.

Keep reading

3

Forrest: “You want to know how I’m doing? The love of my life just walked out on me and left me at the altar. How the heck am I supposed to be feeling?”

Rainbow: “I am so, so sorry, Forrest. We can fix this. I want to help. What happened?”

Forrest: “You lot happened. Eva told me that one of the mothers of my children came up to her and intimidated her. I guess they made her get cold feet and not want to be with me…”

Rainbow: “Oh Sim Gods. You know it wouldn’t have been me or Evelyn. It has to be Heloise. Wait here - I’m going to go and kick her arse for you! She cannot get away with this!”

Forrest: “What’s the point, Doll? Eva must have been having doubts in the first place. She’s a strong willed woman, she wouldn’t be easily swayed unless the thought was already in her head. It’s…it’s why I love her so darn much…”

Dialogue Prompts

Hey guys so I made a prompt list, so just send us a number and a character. Feel free to send in as many as you like, honestly we would be happy with one or one hundred, however many you want to see. 

  1. “My hair is better than yours.”
  2. “Kiss my arse.”
  3. “If you say that again I am going to stab you with a rusty knife.”
  4. “All I need is a kitten and a big glass of lemon ice tea.”
  5. “Brain over brawn? But they have neither.”
  6. “I’m a lone wolf.”
  7. “Did you just kiss me?”
  8. “Your eyes are as beautiful as Enchanted Eden, your hair as perfect as Roasted Coffee and your lips as bright as Raspberry Bellini.” “Someone has clearly been looking at the dulex colour chart.”
  9. “Well you seem busy.”
  10. “Weird is an understatement.”
  11. “She is a little crazy. And by little, I mean a lot and by crazy, I mean psychotic.”
  12. “Please be quiet, I can’t even hear myself losing the will to live.”
  13. “Take another step, and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
  14. “I would call you an imbecile but that’d be cruel as you wouldn’t be able to spell it.”
  15. “You interrupt my reading once more, and this book will become a lethal weapon.”
  16. “Say that again.”
  17. “Wait, you love me? Like you love me like how Garfield loves Lasagne or how Thomas O’Malley loves Duchess?”
  18. “If being clumsy was a currency, I’d be a bloody billionaire.”
  19. “Kiss me you twat.”
  20. “Your heart is as cold as my dorm room, and I can’t feel my toes in that room, so it’s bloody cold.”
  21. “If you wanted a sign you should have said, and I would have punched you in the face.”
  22. “What cruel irony it is to lose your glasses.”
  23. “You aren’t a drama queen, you are a bloody drama emperor.”
  24. “If they marked you on being wrong you’d be at the top of the class.”
  25. “Have you got something to tell me?”
  26. “Well aren’t you a hero?”
  27. “If I were a Disney princess I would be Kuzco, as I’m fabulous and I may not be a princess but I deserve a crown.”
  28. “Don’t you think we look alike?” “No. Not at all.”
  29. “It’s best to not mention what happened last summer.”
  30. “I wouldn’t say this is the happiest moment of my life. Once I found £10 in my coat pocket and it was amazing.”
  31. “The day you make me laugh is the day the dolphins start walking on land.”
  32. “Come on dude! Why the hell did you shoot me?”
  33. “That better be an apology pizza I smell, not just some stupid normal pizza.”
  34. “I feel more inclined to take a bit out of my own flesh that eat that.”
  35. “Stop stealing my clothes.”
  36. “We all have secrets.”
  37. “I don’t need to be protected.”
  38. “So how many weapons do you have?”
  39. “A nail clipper isn’t a conventional weapon but believe me you’ll be crying for your mother when I’m done with you.”
  40. “Did you paint the cat?”
  41. “Well you are beautiful, just not as beautiful as me.”
  42. “Malteasers are satanic bunny poop.”
  43. “Stop being dramatic, it’s only a tiny cut.”
  44. “I’m not short, I’m adorable.”
  45. “Can we just cuddle and pretend we have nothing to do?”
  46. “Sometimes I wish you were dead.”
  47. “How the hell did the sand get there?”
  48. “I’m tired, so don’t make me angry.”
  49. “Does it hurt?”
  50. “I just love cats so much.”
what it feels like for a girl - an mmfd fic

This is the product of me talking shit with Erin one day. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if… Thing was, after the initial idea, I had no clue how I could make it work and it quickly became anything but hilarious. At a loss for a better way to describe it, I called it weird. It’s had a lot of different lives since it first came into being and I’m not sure just how much of the weird survived. It does lean towards the very pervy though, so mind how you go. I’m aware that it may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

My usual self-doubt and second guessing are at an all-time high because this is predominately about Chop, someone whose characterization I’ve not really taken on before, and after this, may never do again! 

I know I say this every time and it’s true every time, but THIS time especially, I could not have finished this without @how-ardently getting herself wrist-deep in my soup - her analogy, not mine. I honestly couldn’t figure out what story I was trying to tell but dearest Erin talked me down from every ledge and brought some kind of order to the madness. She would never say, but I’m sure I’ve been a proper pain in the arse with this one and I am forever grateful for her patience and her talent. She is welcome to wade in my soup anytime. I even threatened to give her a co-writing credit, so instrumental was she to me finishing. Everyone should have an Erin - you just can’t have mine!

To the wonderful @slitherouter who read this, in spite of the subject matter, just because she loves me. The feeling is entirely mutual. xo

Also, a little while ago, I put out a request for some vital football information. My thanks to @bitchy-broken @mirandasmadeofstone and @fangirlwithoutshame for their thoughtful responses. Yes, it may have only resulted in one throw-away line, but it was pertinent information, so ta very much ladies.

I’m editing this because I rather shamefully neglected to say that the idea of Chop that this was built on was pinched (with her permission) from the marvelous @endemictoearth‘s insightful Fizzy prompt fic. Thank you for the loan, Shawna. xo

These lovely people asked to be tagged. Bless them:

@protectfinnnelson @crystalgiddings1993 @nutinanutshell @shashaaussi @lovinglifeandlivinglove @mirandasmadeofstone @stinemarine @look-how-they-shine-love @inneedofamoralcompass @lau-vm @girl-looking-out-window @rhi3915 @14000romances @bitchy-broken

Please do let me know if this is no longer the case.

The title is stolen directly from Her Madge-esty, Our Lady Madonna.

Hold me, I’m frightened…

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Do you wanna play games, Finn Nelson?

A BIG THANK YOU for all the messages, comments and likes I’ve been receiving for my last stories. Especially, Christmas Thoughts and the 12th part of Little By Little. Those stories have been thought during the summer and because some God had given the power to write again…. Well, you got it! It makes me really happy people keep liking my stories (because I know they’re not as good as some writers in here). Thank you so much for the support x

Remember when I said I was gonna write the fourth chapter of Vloggers and then I had another idea for a one shot that couldn’t wait? Here you have it. It’s… different from what I’ve read before. I haven’t revised anything so I expect some errors and stuff. 

FANFIC MASTERPOST HERE

**

 

“Finn, lunch break!”

He stops painting when he hears the voice of his boss telling him it’s lunch time and he goes to clean the brush full of orange paint. He cleans his hands with the soup and goes outside the house where he has his small lunch box with his food. He follows his mates around the house and he finishes eating on a corner of the back garden.

“I’ll give you the payment when we finish tonight, alright lad?” Noel, the owner of the paint shop where he’s now working, tells him.

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anonymous asked:

Prompt: James and Lily have been getting a lot of racial slurs because they are an 'interblooded' couple. It's starts to get to them, and so they decide to deal with it in someway.

This is what I’ve managed to come up with. Sorry it took so long.

“Mudblood! Blood traitor!”

James scowls, spinning on his heel to face the harasser, but Lily grabs his wrist. “Don’t,” she hisses. “Just leave it.” Her expression is neutral, but her eyes are green fire.

“Lily,” he starts. She shakes her head. Her short red hair bobs around her face.

“Don’t,” the woman insists. “You’ll make it worse.”

With anyone else, he might have argued, but James isn’t a fool, and he knows that Lily tends to be right. He also knows that she’s worried, because it’s their last year, and she doesn’t want to be expelled. He bites his lip, thoughtful, and asks, “Should we tell someone?”

“Tell who?” Lily snorts. “Dumbledore?”

“Well, yeah.”

“James, honestly.” Lily gives him a sharp tug, pulling him round the corner and into the unused girls lavatory on the second floor. In the refuge of the bathroom, she rounds on him angrily. “We’re not going to tell anyone!” the girl snaps. Her lips curl down, the way they always do when she’s angry, and James wants to kiss away the bad feelings, but he doesn’t.

“Why not?” he demands instead. His heart races like he’s holding the Quaffle. “Surely there’s something we can—“

“There isn’t,” Lily insists. “Not with the faculty, anyway.”

In a terrible moment, James realizes that she’s dealt with this before. He starts up again, but before he can spit out two words, Lily’s wand is drawn and she hexes his mouth shut. “Listen!” she cries. “I said we’re not going to tell anyone, James. I didn’t say we were going to sit on our arses and do nothing.”

The moment the hex is lifted, James speaks. “What, then?”

Lily has a wild glint in her eyes as she describes her plan. It’s clear that she’s been sitting on it for a while, and James figures he’s not the first person she’s run it by, considering that it’s got a bit of Remus’s personal flair to it. When she’s done, she stands back and crosses her arms. James grins at her.

“Perfect,” he agrees. She laughs and kisses him.

James can’t wait for breakfast. He sits at the table, bouncing eagerly in his seat until Peter hisses at him to relax, and waits for Lily to give the signal. It’s a simple one, one that he likes very much. A kiss. She waits forever, though, so long that he thinks she’s gone back on the agreement, and then she leans over the table as plates are being cleared and presses her mouth against his. Together, they whisper the spell.

They walk down the corridor arm in arm, pausing at every stair, every split in the halls, and kissing like there’s no tomorrow, inviting anyone to comment. And someone does. A Slytherin girl sneaking back from the Astronomy tower takes one look at them and opens her mouth. She probably means to say mudblood, but what comes out is,

“I pissed myself in first year potions.” She freezes, horrified, and then bolts, leaving Lily and James in peals of laughter.

“That was brilliant!” James crows. “How on earth did you come up with that?”

Lily grins. “I told you,” she giggles. “I’m a genius.”

Arm in arm, they saunter off to their first class. It’s going to be a fantastic day.

burning in the fire of a thousand smiles

Modern British Royalty au, because reasons. And also because I have wanted to write this for a while and felt as if I should actually do something for CS AU week. So… yes.

The cameras at the foot of the grand staircase go off all at once, in a bombard like an exploding star, as HRH The Princess of Wales appears at the top of it, gowned in a stunning floor-length custom Dior, blonde hair swept into an intricate braided updo and her great-great grandmother’s priceless Cartier tiara nestled atop it. She wears a matching diamond necklace and earrings, white evening gloves, Louboutin pumps (every detail of her outfit will of course be tweeted, criticized, praised, and pored over within the next fifteen minutes, and dominate all coverage of the benefit gala) and just an elegant hint  of makeup. This is Emma Charlotte Victoria Elizabeth Windsor’s first appearance since becoming the first royal daughter in history to hold the title of Princess of Wales, heiress to the throne, in her own right, and not merely as consort to the heir in waiting, ever since the required assent from the Commonwealth countries made gender-neutral primogeniture the law of the land. Great Britain had watched its princess grow up for sixteen years, in gossip magazines and official publications and carefully released photos, when (surprising themselves as much as anyone) the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh had another child – a son. Ordinarily, that meant he would have leapfrogged his older sister in the line of succession, but there was a massive public outcry against the idea of England’s sweetheart having to give up her position due to silly old medieval requirements, and the process to change the law started accordingly.

Now, six years later, it has finally ground its way through the Government gauntlet and actually been enacted. Emma will succeed to the crown, as has always been planned and prepared for, and her baby brother, Prince Neal, will function merely in the career of supporting royal. (He calls himself that because none of his actual names – Nicholas Edward Arthur Louis – are to a six-year-old boy’s taste, hence N.E.A.L. Emma hopes it doesn’t stick. By a nasty little coincidence, that is the name of the boy who broke her heart, freshman year at St. Andrews. Left her gun-shy about ever dating another commoner, after the scandal splashed out across the red-top tabloids, recording in gleeful detail how Neal Cassidy had taken advantage of his connection to the Princess to rake in cash, favors, exclusive access to luxe Mayfair nightclubs, field-level Premier League tickets, and more. Then when she cut off the gravy train, he dumped her.)

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